Losing my mind, and proud of it!
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A pegasus gets stranded somewhere in the Everfree, with her only companion, and best friend, Granite Sand, who was abandoned by her family for not having wings. Melody Cares for Granite, and the feeling is mutual. But will they Ever get out of the Everfree... into an accepting town??
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Aw.. poor Granite.
Oh, that Onyx, I would like to take my hands and shake him furiously. 
Thank goodness for Melody though for saving the poor filly and taking her away from that environment.
Short chapter yet heart gripping.
I'm afraid that wasn't a dream Granite. 
Melody is such a sweet and caring Pegasus.
You have some minor capitalization errors, might want to go back through and check those. Excellent story otherwise.
Other than the Ponymaker image and short chapter, it's a meh story
3299460
3299468 You're not into sad fic?
3299484
Eh. More of a adventure and clop guy
3300831 Well, then... My other story is full of adventure.
3300881
I'll take a look at it when I get the time
3300999
that's fine.
so far, the story is alright. i understand that it might be hard to do this, but try to increase the amount of words used in each chapter. if not, try to give the reader more...something while using the amount of words you have. also, try to pay attention to grammatical errors and such.
3302163 Flames- I'm trying, sir.
3303422
never said you didn't. just thought i should provide you with some criticisms and some helpful words.
3307061 Flames- Done!
3306456 Flames- Well , those are still really helpful. Help away!
3309565
well do. you do your thing, i'll do my thing.
3311636 Flames-
Pretty good!
Just the I in the I can do what I want line and its perfect.
3322445 Thank you!
Now, can you do the same with my other story?
A couple I's need to be capitalized. And in the Dubstep Melody line, you forgot to capitalize melody.
3322449 Fixed!
OUCH! That one got me right in the feels >< even the author admits the poor child was—in fact—a disgrace to the family.
I think you meant Father's grip.
Two speakers back to back despite being two different characters in the same line of text. You seem to be going for the novel style way of story telling. Makes me believe you read some books and try to mimic that, so I'll give you advice on how to properly handle multiple speakers and how to break without really "breaking" the flow of your narrative/exposition.
First off, you always want to start every new paragraph with a tab, an indent, to let people have more understanding that it will indicate how you start your paragraphs. Now, arguably you WERE doing just that, but, you failed to do so on your opening paragraph and that alone can lead to confusion later on if it's repeated.
While not ALL authors start with an indent, most do if they stick with the no space rule. This gives readers an easier time to understand and keep up with changing perspectives that even the spacing rule can do for a reader if your story isn't so dialogue heavy as many tend to be, almost coming off as IM chats with RP elements in them. Which this is not, and there is nothing inherently wrong with stories that do. It all depends on what style of story is being told after all. So, enough of that babble, let's grab this paragraph and see if we can't somehow improve on it to give readers more understanding of what is going on.
You always still want to follow the general rule of separating new perspectives or speakers, the usual still. This singled out paragraph might not look as pretty to some, but proper is proper. This just gives your readers more of a visual perspective. Easier to keep up with all happenings in a scene.
On a final note, about spaces, those are still very much used in this style. Used for cutting to other events quickly and separating scenes/acts if you well. Like how you watch a TV show drama and it finishes up one scene on a sort of cliff hanger or joke and suddenly shifts to a whole new scene with other people. Yeah, spaces are the line breaks that break up these walls of texts from becoming unscalable.
Anywho, you likely know all that anyways, I'm just covering my basis at this point. Apologies, I have a bad habit of talking too much. And sorry about the little teasing on the first line, not sure if we're at that level of buddiness yet but I tend to poke humor into things at times.
P.S. Even if people complain, try to keep your chapters' formats consistent throughout the story as best you can. Chapter 2 looks cleaner but ditches the indented tabs of chapter 1. Chapter 3 is just characters speaking to get to each other.
My personal thoughts on the story: I kinda feel bad for Ribbon, she loved her daughter, no? I'm sure Melody Melancholy is lonely and happy to have a new friend, but she's going to have to learn that she's gotta let the filly go eventually. I do feel her concern, the father can return any time even, at any time. It's a prickly situation she's in. Melody Melancholy seems like a good mare with good intentions, we'll see what happens.
Good job though, short and bittersweet.
Chapter 3 has Melody Melancholy talking about going to the Doctor's to stop Granite from feeling "alls the sads" or something along that line that made me feel like she might have a mental disability, a bit slower than the average pony but still fully capable aside from a childlike way of speaking. Or maybe she was just really emotionally touched and was using baby words on Granite. I suppose that latter sounds good. I'll stop here since now I'm just talking to myself lol;
Okay so, the first problem is the Reassured Melody. who reassured Melody?
Second, even when it separated by - the "I-I'm" is capitalized. There is also a double period that looks like it should be an ellipsis, or the three dots that show pause. A couple I's need to be capitalized. An unneeded comma is between "Melody sighed".
3323429 flames- Where is the "Reasured Melody" Part?
3324117
Op, no wait...Sorry my fault.
Aw..
Now that is true friendship with one friend being concerned and worried about the other. 
3324519 Flames- Thanks!
Melody and Granite have become fast friends, and soon, they will come into a town, to help melody with her broken wing.
3323429 After some time, it is finally fixed!
welp, guess i should help with a few things:
i think it might feel a bit better if it started with "...come on Granite. If you're..." just seems to sound a bit better to me. also, remember to capitalize I no matter what. it's a grammatical error otherwise. did you mean "it'll make me all sad" instead of what you wrote? also, remove the "a" at the end for an "I" if you don't mean for melody to have a southern drawl.
3362957 She's supposed to have that slight accent.
3362966
oh. whoops then. if that's the point, southern accents tend to be written with 'h's in them somewhere. for example, " I " seems to be written as " Ah ".
3362983 Well, when I have time, I shall fix that.
Are you the one who disliked this?
the first "Hiked" shouldn't be capitalized, the same with the first "Elements".
i think that "'W-what's going on?' Granite asked, fear evident in her voice." sounds a bit better to me.
also, isn't a shake of the head a common body gesture of disagreement? shouldn't a nod be better?
i would consider re-writing this sentence a little. doesn't seem to feel right.
"two, their wooden bodies careening toward"
3363026 and I will fix that a bit later. The point is that I tried.
3362992
pfffttt i'm offended by that statement. i'm just someone who likes to help people in anyway, shape, or form. i give criticism, but i don't let it get the better of me and dislike something. i tell the person, whether it's a writer or whatnot, what i found that i didn't like in hopes of the author replying to me to stake their claim as to why they did what they did.
3363064
never said you didn't my dear. never said you didn't.
3363070 no, the words you give is fine... it's just that....I took the time to write this, and...nobody appreciates it.
3363089
that's not true. i do enjoy it. i'm just trying to help you with some of the minor grammatical issues. that doesn't mean that i don't like it.
3363097 Really? Well, I gotta get back to RP.
3372560 Okay!
Done!
3374011
I love Melody, because she is protective, caring, and comforting to a lonely little filly such as Granite. I hope some pony will come and help them, because like Melody says, they can't outrun a pack of Timber wolves forever.
3387848 Well, thanks for your opinion. like I say often, Let's just find out!
You hook us nicely with two compelling characters, I like that. Now we need more of Melody's back story (why was she alone and friendless?) but a slow reveal is good for that. It would also be good to see Granite contribute more, so far Melody is doing all the work and I'm sure Granite has some skills or talents that can help them.
You rushed through the first chapter. It does it's job, we come to like Melody and worry about Granite. But it seems a bit off. In particular, Ribbon gives up on her daughter much too easily, and doesn't even try to pull her out of the lake. But you do foreshadow how there's more going on than Melody sees (Onyx is gray? I want to see where that's going).
I like short chapters, but I don't think you're ending all your chapters at good breaks. They feel more like scene breaks than the full end of chapters. Now, the end of chapter 4, with the timber wolves bearing down on them, that is a good chapter break!
And, yeah, I agree with Telaros, you need to be more consistent with your paragraph formatting.
3392253
the story is a bit on the action side, but any suggestions are fine. 
Thank you for the liking of my story. It is very appreciated!
Dear my friend, thanks for your output.
Black Flames.
Whoever those haters are, they obviously don't know a novice writer when they see one.
myfavoritegames.com/dragonball-z/Images/AttackList/R-T/SolarFlare.gif
a bright light to blind the Timberwolves
or a sudden burst of magic to destroy one and surprises the others , then run to the nearest shelter
or climb in a tree to rest until the situation get bet better and pray that the timberwolves won't climb
3527812 Okay, thanks for the solution!!
3530981you're welcome
3531250 Hey... you should see how I ended this one on a cliffhanger...