After finding herself stranded in a strange land, a character struggles to know who she really is.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 18th Jul, 2013
- offline last seen Dec 3rd, 2019
RustyKat
Losing my mind, and proud of it!
RustyKat
Joined 18th Jul, 2013 ·
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I really like this. Lots of feels.
Much better
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5422985
:)
5422987 splat.
th03.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2014/241/e/d/changeling_fight_by_moonlitbrush-d7x4oc2.png
5422992
People say cold, windy for a reason. Flows better.
Redundant. Remove one.
Shelter instead of shade, and how is there a cave beneath a tree, or if the tree is in front of the cave, why do we need to know about the tree?
remove from the
remove most
I don't like it. You're trying too hard to be descriptive and adding a lot of words that aren't necessary. All of those corrections were from the first paragraph, and that wasn't it. Past that, I just don't like it. It is forced and I honestly feel nothing for this mare who did this to herself.
5628082 it's good for a first write.
Once published, then I look for editors. Don't judge me.... most of the time I'm at work and my imagination gets WAY out of control.
Good start, have a favourite.
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It's definitely likeable, but it's just not the sort of thing I go for.
Like, no fave.
Spooky. I like. Hope to see more.
The grammar wasn't really an issue for me here. I actually write the same way, focused nearly fully on what is going on that I make small mistakes and even big ones before I realize I made them. I'm liking how there isn't any character name here... leads a lot up to imagination and even mystery.
5628093 I'm not judging you for this, because I write like that too.
I got the chills