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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! love this story.
awesome chapter! of course most of us know that he wont be getting home anytime soon.
so i wonder whats instore for Max? cant wait for the next one!
ok insane theory time it's a magic device that makes humans smarter.
Getting better all the time my good friend. Keep it up!
I would have liked to have Max speak even if only a few words just so Twilight and Sunny could hear his voice.
I like Sunny, but to be honest her presence in Ponyville felt off; like a third wheel.
3491757 She was a total third wheel lol. But I liked her too.
And I like how your progressing the story! I look forward to your next chapter. I'm guessing that you will have him stay... or there really wouldn't be much of a story now would there?
Perhaps the humans originally arrived somewhere far from Equestria and the magic from below Canterlot made them go to Canterlot from where ever they arrived. I imagine that if Discord transported humans to the world, he would do it to fuck with ponies. So he would have to make it so they were brought to the ponies attention.
So, what ever is sealed underneath Canterlot has the ability to control Equestrian Humans? It also seems to want to be released.
If you actually just had him up and leave, I'd give you points for an original ending there. He has so many reasons to stay that would be in his interest, like finding other humans stuck in the same boat as him. I wonder what reason will make him change his mind?
MORE GODDAMMIT
I'm guessing Discord did something to piss off Luna in the dreamscape.
And something magical that attracts humans? It's not black obelisk is it?
So Max has a dilemma: live in a dangerous fantasy world with Princess of Magic as a friend or return to boring work in McDonald and to eating junk food.
And it ain't that there are no human women in Equestria, Max may just ask Applejack for a part-time job...
chaos magic.. CALLED IT!! or i influenced the story. eather way. win win for me :P
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i dunno if i would want a part time job with applejack after learning of her after hours activities ..... or would i.....
Oh oh! Is the thing in the crater the ark for the halo rings?! Will it wipe out all the ponies for what they've done?!
Magical mysterious object attracting humans and making them smarter?
Duuuuuuuuuu-Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum-DUUUUUU-DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM
And Celestia is finally up to date. =D
Then Confusion shrugged and walked into the kitchen to make a sandwich. He was hunger and besides, he was a general, not a doctor.
3491861 Thank you again for the finds!
Im confused as to why Max didn't inform Celestia of the fact(or his suspicions) that there are other humans like him.
3493274
I am going to have to say that the Chaotic magic is the reason why, as well as part of the reason why he doesn't want more ponies to know he is intelligent.
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Ah Ha!
I knew it! The chaos magic in Max is what's preventing him from speaking. I knew something was at work on him this whole time.
If the rest of my theories are correct then that chaos magic is also what is keeping him intelligent and I think it's also emotionally, and mentally neutering him.
Think about that for a second, he is put through several events that would traumatize a normal person and he never so much as feels angry for the plight of himself or the other humans. In fact, the only time he is willing to be angry at a pony is when said pony was threatening his 'owner'. He knows humans are somewhat intelligent and that other humans from earth exist but he refuses to tell Twilight about it. He is compelled to sit in Ponyville instead of attempting to find or help any of the other earth humans that may be out there.
Discord placed some kind of control over his mind so that he cannot do anything that might disrupt whatever plan he has. He cannot think his own thoughts, feel his own feelings, or speak in his own words. He is some kind of puppet and little else.
If I'm right then dispelling the chaos magic and attempting to stay in Equestria would be a very bad idea, as I'm fairly certain doing so would render him as 'dumb' as the other humans.
Alright the pieces are all in place now. Anyone else ready for Max to make a stand against the injustice that humans face in Equestria?
This chapter is where I stop reading. She is looking at a human who has been here for close to a year and that's what she is questioning? Is she so blind that she doesn't see the scars that he has from when he was kidnapped by her ponies or when he was forced to fight for her ponies amusement? Or when he protected her ponies from monsters?
I understand that she didn't know of this yet but for fuck sake why didn't Twilight say anything when he was under such scrutiny? He's her friend, isn't that the thing she was studying for so long and became a bloody Princess for? Max doesn't need to say anything, I can understand that, he's kind of a bitch. But Twilight has no right for not saying anything to that. Twilight has questioned the Princess before and she has stood up for friends countless times. It breaks her character with a hammer.
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I disagree. He didnt trust coming out to the ponies as intelligent because of what happened to him at the beginning. Fear of being experimented on and such, after all, he isnt much more than an animal, right?
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I also disagree. You seem to be forgetting all of the nightmares where Discord is furious with him for not helping out the other humans. Its purely Max's own volition that he doesnt disclose anything to Twilight.
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CANNON!
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/82/Cannon_Fire.jpg
3493745 Why would the magic be keeping him intelligent? That makes no sense. Celestia said it only activated when he tried to speak, if it was effecting his entire brain than she would've noticed it just because he was thinking. Not to mention that you don't just go somewhere and become dumb, that's just silly.
3494485
After knowing Twilight and how his secret is known to Celestia and Luna, there doesn't seem to be much reason to remain hidden due to the fact that they can just say "No" to any scientists. Yet he still wants to be hidden. I can personally see no real reason to this except for maybe the Chaotic magic is subtly working on his mind to make him think he needs to be hidden, and it latched onto the easiest emotional manipulator, fear.
This is just how I see it. We will find out the truth in time.
3493745
I figured it out the moment Twilight said "harmonious magic".
If she had to make the distinction, it's probably because of the author needing a loophole.
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Easy, it's keeping whatever magic that is making the rest of the humans unintelligent at bay. Something with the form/function/habits of a human like standing upright, using tools, and eating meat would rapidly gain intelligence. It's a matter of energy, humans get a lot of energy from eating meat so we don't have to spend as much time eating as a herbivore does, thus giving us the time and brain power to make tools, fire, and have a complex culture.
A creature with a human shape and intelligence of livestock is a contradiction. The amount of energy humans consume in Equestria is the same as primitive man, thus if Equestrian man does not have the intelligence of primitive man then there must be some outside force at work. Assuming this outside force is some sort of spell that effects every human born in Equestria then it stands to reason that whatever spell it is, it would work on Max. He hasn't been reduced to a drooling idiot so we can reason that he is being protected from whatever is keeping the Equestrian humans dumb.
3494485
I haven't forgotten the dreams they were just not very important to any of my theories. But if I had an explanation for them, it would be that discord is obviously pushing Max toward certain actions. We don't know what those actions are, and Discord being Discord we can assume that whatever his goal is, it will be achieved as counterintuitivly as possible. Basically, Discord is playing a long game with methodology that defies comprehension, how can we know what his purpose for Max is?
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That's why I'm trying to start the debate! Debates are loads of fun!
3495516
Yeah Nepy your usually pretty good at being on top of stuff like this.
Care to share your own ideas with the class?
3495656
A well reasoned and cogent argument.
Though, I wouldn't go so far as to say that magic effects outside humans the same way it does Equestrian humans. If it did, why aren't all the other alien humans just as unintelligent as Equestrian ones? Max isn't the only one.
3495860
I don't have any evidence for this besides their existence in the first place but it would seem to me that the other earth humans and Max are likely in the same boat. They have all been brought to Equestria by Discord to serve as his pawns in whatever game he is playing. They all seem to have the same protections and limitations, aka still intelligent but unable to speak.
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I shouldn't go into any more detail than I have. It would be spoilers.
I'm also not going to brag about knowledge I don't have. I hate people who do that.
I barely know anything more than you do. In my conversations with MadMax, he's only dropped some very vague hints. All I know is conjecture.
I do have my own ideas, but they would be spoilers too, considering that I'm going to use them in my spinoff of this.
okey T_T weres the bloody battles, the revolutin, the fight for humans freedom?
I did not see the chaos magic coming. I had assumed it had something to do with those statues...
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I'm wincing right now.
Hard.
3495656
We already know that Equestrian humans and Earth humans have physical differences, even the smallest differences in brain chemistry and physiology can have devastating effects on a person, so likewise a spell designed just to effect Equestrian humans, but not other intelligent races, would most likely be incompatible for Earth humans because of even the smallest differences. Just like software meant for a PC isn't going to work on a Mac, even though they're both computers and have very similar internal components.
Or you could even say that the spell is 'genetic' only effecting Equestrian humans because it's been in their bloodline since it was cast. The spell may no longer be active, but it could've been designed to be passed down from generation to generation. If anything this is more likely because it would only have a large power requirement for the initial casting, after that it would become self sustaining and act, for all intents and purposes, like a hereditary disease.
Otherwise you're talking about something effecting an entire species across an entire planet for thousands of years. That would take incredible power, and we know that Discord, while still having power encased in stone, doesn't have the power to keep the spell active. Nowhere even close to enough to effect an entire global population.
And Celestia said whatever object is in the cave only just became active a little while ago, so it most likely isn't that either.
Okay, this is my first comment so far on this story and so far I am really, really enjoying it, in comparison to some of the other stories out there. The story comes and fits together perfectly and character representation is almost perfect (perfect for some maybe but the whole 'bucking' saying from Twilight and couple of others just isn't, personally, my cup of tea). The fact that the story is regularly updated is great because I then know that I will have something to enjoy sometime soon when I come home.
However, I do have one question. This has been stuck on my mind since I started reading. When Max first came to Equestria, he was fully clothed and still had is phone without signal. But after he was captured he didn't. What exactly happened to them, more specifically his phone. If the human sellers took it then surly they would have kept it, reported it or studied it and sold it. Unless I misread something earlier, I don't know.
More or less, the story is a nine out of ten so far and look forward to more in the future. Keep up the good work bro!
Celestia being bitch again...
Also Max is pretty much the archetypically You-tried-to-kill-and-rape-me-but-that's-okay-because-i-forgive-you-all Guy. It appears to me that bronies have no idea how a normal human would react.
However, this story started really promising but beginning with this chapter it's slowly going down which would be a real pity.
3494379 I'm not gonna lie, I almost stopped reading this chapter at that very line myself. In fact I wish I had, considering the rest of the chapter just served to further annoy me. I mean..ugh is Celestia really so hard to get right in a story with humans? She always comes off this way, where do writers get this bad characterization of her from?
This maybe the point where this story jumps the shark, but I'll try to hold on a little longer to see if I'm wrong.
3494379 3502955 Welp, I done fucked up on that one. Sorry about Celestia's attitude, as well as Twilight's reaction. I was trying to go for the "over-protective-of-her-ponies" Celestia in this chapter, but it seems that I have went too far with it.
As for Twilight not defending Max, I have no excuses...
Thanks anyway for giving the story a try, and hope you find more pleasing reads in the near future...
...and if either of you have suggestions on how this could have gone better, I would be happy to hear them. This is currently on my "need to edit later" chapter list.
hey i know its Forward Unto Dawn with Cortana on boaard as well with Chief in cryo-sleep
3503452 but you saw how he studied humans in equestria and they shown some kind of Australopitecus intelegence so they might be just unevolved due to lack of Seafood and meat?
that woul be an outright answer if you ask me
3503546
Getting Celestias character right in a HiE story is difficult. Many writers fail at it and the most common reason for this is they have her actions seem out of place with the story.
Celestia questioning Max about whether he was going to harm her subjects is an example of that. Before she knew he was sapient she knew that he was very well mannered for a typical human. She had that even explained to her and I'm sure Twilight would have given her updates here and there about how Max is doing.
It was just an extremely inappropriate question to ask of him. Equivalent to asking a fire fighter why he wasn't faster after he just saved your life. Max has shown a prime example of turning the other cheek when it comes to ponies. He is experiencing the best and worst they have to offer and through Twilights help he hasn't hurt anyone out of revenge. He has proven that he is better than most by not hating these ponies out right.
All because of Twilight. That is why the scene fell. Not because of Celestia question or Max complying. They both contributed but Twilights inaction sealed it.
My suggestions on how this could have been done better would be Celestia's questions being different.
Like why he didn't say anything sooner. Are others of you intelligent? Can you understand these humans?
Celestia can be suspicious but not so openly. You don't meet someone for the first time and instantly say. "You better not think about robbing me."
Edit this story however you want with Celestia and Max but you have to make Twilight say something if Celestia is going to be accusing Max like that.
I just limped along after her, wincing as I put pressure on my leg...
While I limped down the road...
WHEELCHAIR, I've seen them in the show, get one. jeez, they gave Dash a wheelchair and her legs were fine! blargle-argle bargle.!
Either way, I didn’t care; Celestia was happy, and I wasn’t about to die
"You amuse me, Human; therefore I shall allow you to live."
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Whatever is down there, it appears to be attracting humans.
Ohhhhhh, a new plot line. me gusta
Max. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO FEEL BAD ABOUT GOING HOME. YOU MUST. I COMMAND YOU!
fucking Discord.
WHY WAS IT SO SIMPLE! WUT U HAVE IN STORE?!
F U DICKORDD§§§!!
Maybe I am missing something, but what an idiotic question, he has been living with Twilight for years now right? at least months and she would vouch for him to the moon and back, assuming everyone else didn't beat her to it, furthermore, if he was planning anything malicious he would have done it already or would have simply answered of course not.
It's almost like you tested for every kind but one, one in particular who would have the power to have started everything with ease,
Nice try weaseling out by having Celestia say that she probably would be unable to find it, but it was still dumb.
I suppose my only complaints with the story can be summed up in 2 things, it's predictable (thought that may be partially due to me, read a lot of fimfiction in my day) and the characters tend to do nonsensical or just plain dumb things regularly. We knew he wasn't going to leave the fillies, making the cliffhanger pointless, we know he isn't going to go home, actually I'd bet you will say "this is my home now". Heh. As for nonsensical or dumb, it has dramatically decreased after the first few chapters, but is still occasionally present, as Celestia proved above. Maybe it will improve, gonna read and find out!