Cloud Kicker is usually a good student. So why was she so distracted during class today?

Side story to The Life and Times of a Winning Pony. It's awesome, go read it if you haven't already. If you have, go read it again!

For Derpy Hooves, it seems like every day gets worse than before. Her whole life she has been seen as nothing but a rolling disaster. She's seen as a clueless, quirky, messed up pony, simply due to her walleyed disability. How can she possibly hope to erase the stereotypes she was assigned? For Derpy, it's impossible.

Impossible, that is, until she chances into a certain purple unicorn. Will this meeting be yet another failure, or could it be the opportunity she's been looking for, and how could that opportunity affect her life?

I'd like to thank slip_stitch for being both an editor and a proofreader for me. Without her help, this story would literally be one giant punctuation error.
Also, thanks to Ardensfax for giving me the inspiration to try my hand at writing, Tobyc for putting a massive amount of work into a tvtropes page dedicated to the story, and Perilian for the massive amount of encouragement that kept me motivated enough to work my hardest at writing.

With a giant thanks to Kevinltk, Address Unknown is now available in both ePub and mobi formats! If you would like to download them, they are available here:

ePub - Teen (Clop Free)
mobi - Teen (Clop Free)

Cover art designed by Novel Idea

And, for everyone out there that enjoys Address Unknown, I have been honored to have a dramatic reading done by HanaYoriUta!

Here are the links, in 3 separate installments:
Chapters 1-15
Chapters 16-30
Clop Chapters

Business at Carousel Boutique has been picking up ever since the Royal Wedding. While the work has been a godsend, Rarity soon finds herself buried in custom orders, fussy Canterlot ponies, and deadlines she's unsure she can meet.

At the end of her rope, she remembers that time there were simply too many Pinkie Pies, and has an idea.

What could go wrong?

(Story inspired by a comment left by MarineMarksman on another story of mine, Oh, you. Thanks for the inspiration!)

Edit 10/9/13: Guys, this is NOT a Sparity fic. Please do not add this fic to Sparity groups or Sparity folders in groups. I have no idea what made you think this was a Sparity, but regardless, please stop.

You didn't buy Rainbow Dash a Hearts and Hooves day present.

And now she won't let you come inside.

Some Canterlot entertainers aren't just musicians... and some ponies fall in love with them anyways.

When one of Equestria's most popular cellists appears at Twilight's birthday party, it's just another gig for Octavia, but a shock for Twilight and the rest of the party-goers. She arrives, wishes Twilight a happy birthday, wows them with her beautiful music, wows them with her musical beauty, and doesn't leave until after everypony else has left. So when a few ponies suggest that this 'entertainer' might be more than just a musician... some eyebrows are raised, but nothing more. Twilight is beyond reproach, after all, and Octavia can earn her living however she wants. When she sticks around Ponyville, however, it becomes a slightly different story - Twilight is romantically-naive, after all, and Octavia is... most certainly not.

The romance of Twilight Sparkle, Celestia's protege, and Octavia van Clef, Canterlot's most famous entertainer.

Rated 'Teen'. Per FimFiction's rating guidelines, this story contains some 'more adult themes', but has no 'graphically adult content'. Rated primarily for sexually suggestive material, but also (in later chapters) alcohol use and adult language.

Dash gets what she always wanted: a spot in the Wonderbolts and Spitfire by her side. Their relationship is all speed, all adrenaline, all passion, and absolutely, positively doomed.

A trainwreck of a romance in an ongoing series of slice-of-life snapshots, clop-free.

Restraint, or Lack Thereof - Spitfire knows what she wants, knows how to get it, and knows exactly how wrong this could all go.

Day In, Day Out - Soarin needs to know why Spitfire's been distracted and out of sorts lately, and there's a good chance he already knows the answer.

Been a While - Spitfire isn't the only one in this relationship who's been nursing a crush on her idol for years. Difference is, Dash has been doing something about it.

Burden - It isn't easy being a hero, especially if you're not the hero you thought you'd be.

Forgive and Forget- Dash makes a terrible mistake. Making it won't get her in trouble; trying to fix it could be disastrous.

Wings - Sometimes you get your dreams handed to you on a silver platter. Sometimes that's the last thing you want.

Touchdown and Takeoff - Somepony's gotta put out fires for the Wonderbolts before the team implodes, and Soarin' just drew the short straw.

Shattered - Spitfire is royally ticked off at Rainbow, and RD has no idea why.

Unscheduled - Spitfire gives the Wonderbolts the week off only to find that Dash left a few things unfinished.

What Has Been Seen - The Wonderbolts are taking bets on Spitfire and Dash self-destructing, and Soarin' just wants a nap.

Now featuring beautiful new cover art courtesy of Celebi-Yoshi!

These stories are in continuity with Luna's Librarian and The Rustic & The Romantic.

All chapters originally written as separate entries for flash-fic blog Thirty Minute Pony Stories (TMP). I highly recommend a visit to TMP if you're looking for some of the best 1000-word gems in pony fiction. Many thanks to TMP for inspiring me to write!

Twilight Sparkle just can't find enough time in the day. She has to study friendship for the Princess, hang out with her five friends, and juggle her own hobbies and interests besides. But when a novel solution presents itself in the form of an experimental new spell, will it solve her time crunch, or will she be distracted even further?

Twilight has something she needs to tell Princess Celestia--something that means a chance at getting everything she's ever wanted, or of losing everything she's ever had.

Something so terrifying that the only way she could say it was in a letter...and so wonderful that she had the courage to send it.

(Thanks to Cenit V for the cover!)

Thousands and thousands of years have passed since the return of Nightmare Moon. Not much of anything remains in the barren land of Equestria. On the hillside of a forgotten town, overlooking the dusk of sundown, lay two sisters holding the only thing that remains to them; each other.

Featured on Equestria Daily on January 23rd, 2013

Selected miscellaneous works by TheLastBrunnenG from Thirty Minute Pony Stories, all clop-free.

Apple Tart Surprise - Applejack is frustrated and feelin' frisky. Is that ever a good combination? {AJ x OCs. Saucy!}

Deep Into That Darkness Peering - Only one thing could possibly make Fluttershy brave the Everfree at night. {ZecoraShy adventure.}

Sigh and Smile - Fluttershy hopes and prays for just one more good day. {FlutterDash / DashFire. Rejected Flight Suit chapter.}

I Think That I Shall Never See - Some places can feel alive, but only if we're there to give them life. {Epilogue to Flight Suit, Luna's Librarian, and Rustic.}

Familiar Demons - On the Appleoosan Plains, four ponies shudder as they recall the Headless Horse. {Western suspense.}

Try Honesty as a Last Resort - Celestia's unicorn lover isn't who anyone expected, and nopony's happy about it. {Rarity x Celestia}

Elements of Bureaucracy - Town under attack by a 50-foot monster? Call the Elements! But leave a security deposit first. {comedy}

Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking - Appointing Luna to preside over Sentencing Court may not have been the best idea. {comedy}

The Blossoming of Annuals - Fluttershy keeps this Pinkie Promise every year, even when nopony expects her to. {sad FlutterPie}

Sundown on a Winding Road - Granny Smith and Granny Pie work to get their granddaughters together. {ApplePie, plus... GrannyGranny?!?}

The Kind Wife - Fluttershy and Luna are happily married! That's what Shy keeps telling herself. She has to. {sad LunaShy}

Forest Elder - You can bet on strange encounters anytime you take a trip through the Everfree on Nightmare Night. {Dragon Age crossover]

These stories are one-shots which do not fit into other story collections such as If the Flight Suit Fits, Luna's Librarian, The Rustic & The Romantic, or Egghead and Featherbrain.

All chapters originally written as separate entries for flash-fic blog Thirty Minute Pony Stories (TMP). I highly recommend a visit to TMP if you're looking for some of the best 1000-word gems in pony fiction. Many thanks to TMP for inspiring me to write!

Yes, the collection's title is a LEXX reference. That might be as close as I come to penning a Lexx / MLP crossover.