This story is a sequel to Princess Celestia Hates Tea

Princess Celestia helps to banish a hoofful of inner demons lurking deep in the heart of a troubled author. Metafiction, again, ensues. Something of a coda to "Princess Celestia Hates Tea".

Now with a Spanish translation by Spaniard Kiwi!

Celestia wants Twilight and her friends to loosen up a little bit around her. Luna just wants to try the hard cider. During a surprise visit to Sweet Apple Acres at the tail end of cider season, Princess Luna has just a bit too much to drink, and when she makes a rather inappropriate joke, Twilight comes to the very uncomfortable realization that she has never seen Celestia excuse herself to use the restroom.

*This is a parody*

Two humble siblings find themselves in Equestria, with one super-twist. They're Pokemon! Whoa! Now they must figure out how many important details they can skip and omit, what's going on with the acorns, and how epic being Pokemon is.

"Oh man, can you believe we're Pokemon?"

"Actually, yes, considering we're gigantic Pokemon fans. That's usually the way these things work."

When your life is a stack of suckcakes covered in angst syrup and the world turns its back on you after it kicks you into a puddle of hate toast with rejection margarine and the marmalade of loneliness and your parents are completely and totally dead, being a brony can seem meaningless. God, I'm hungry now. Sometimes all we need is a horse -- a great big one -- in a cardboard box to reinforce our own self-imposed martyr complexes.

A parody of My Little Dashie, in case you couldn't figure that out. Read by Illya Leonov!

See what actual, living bronies are saying about My Full-Sized Goddess Horse!

"This is a stark commentary on the self-destructive and delusion-wracked nature of Major Depression, as well as the ephemeral routes of mental escape in which one finds some momentary relief from the endless downpour of despair and hopelessness they experience with this disorder." -Cupcakes

"Vulgar." -Mystic

"This is an actual, for-real quote from ROBCakeran53, author of My Little Dashie." -not ROBCakeran53

"I don’t think this story is fit for Equestria Daily, nor do I think that it will ever be acceptable." -Equestria Daily Pre-Readers

"You truly have a proper grasp of diction!" -MallaJong1

"...My Full-Sized Goddess Horse is a fundamentally entertaining, messageless tale with impeccably-crafted prose." -Amit

"This is the best use of unreliable narrator I've ever seen on fimfic! " -ocalhoun

"...you should probably not smoke as much weed as you did that day." -Lesolan

Reviewed by the actual, for-real Seattle's Angels!

Four ponies escape from The Canterlot Institute For The Mentally Disturbed and head for the airship docks. Hilarity may or may not ensue as they embark upon a daring mission to overthrow society.

All original character cast, save for a few brief appearances by canon ponies.

Cover image by yours truly. ^.^
Many thanks to Metaright for proofreading, the good folks at MLP forums and Bronyville forums for pre-reading and feedback.

Rainbow Dash doesn't like ponies touching her hooves.

What other things does she not like? Read to find out!

Published on Equestria Daily October 18, 2012.

Mom says that families who work really hard get to put a gold star on the inside of their windows.

Applebloom is tired of being treated like a filly! She's a big pony, darn it! She wants the respect of her brother and sister, so she decides to take a drink of something definitely not meant for fillies. What happens afterward will convince her to never touch her brother's apple whisky ever again.

The following piece was written before season 3 and I'm not going back to change it, because this story flies in the face of canon anyway. Every dumb joke or tired brony-ism you can think of has been used in this fic for comedic purposes. Leave you offended-ness at the door, and enter, THE APPLE ZONE.
P.S. if you find I parodied a fic of yours within, it's because I liked it, not because I'm trying to make fun of it. This is meant to mock the fandom as a whole, as in, all of us. I'm not Blueshift, so it may not be that funny, but I regret nothing.

Scraps, ideas, deleted scenes, stuff I might work on, or won't work on, or might throw out to others if they're interested.

Rainbow Dash comes up with a new pick-up line, but it doesn't seem to be landing.