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CDRW

Joined January 2012
397 followers

Stories (3)

  • Princesses Don't Potty
    Twilight realizes she hasn't ever seen Celestia excuse herself to use the bathroom.

    25,410 words · 20,970 views · 2,205 likes · 36 dislikes
  • A Still More Glorious Dawn Awaits
    Luna's back from exile, and she's not Nightmare Moon.
    73,291 words · 7,803 views · 380 likes · 14 dislikes
  • Scraps
    Story ideas and scenes that I'm probably never going to re-visit.
    3,059 words · 328 views · 21 likes · 1 dislikes

Blog Posts (121)

Source

Celestia wants Twilight and her friends to loosen up a little bit around her. Luna just wants to try the hard cider. During a surprise visit to Sweet Apple Acres at the tail end of cider season, Princess Luna has just a bit too much to drink, and when she makes a rather inappropriate joke, Twilight comes to the very uncomfortable realization that she has never seen Celestia excuse herself to use the restroom.

First Published
8th Jan 2013
Last Modified
22nd Jun 2014

Comments ( 898 )

#1 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 13h ago · 57 · ·

Wut.

#2 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 13h ago · 20 · ·

CDRW wat r u doin

EDIT: Just finished it, and oh god this is looking to be hilarious. Your Drunk!Luna might be just about the best thing ever, and the premise is ridiculous enough to be funny while still remaining vague enough to keep me hooked. Please continue.

#3 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 13h ago · 1 · 1 ·

nice.

#4 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 13h ago · 4 · ·

Hey Luna word of advice for you, whatever you do don't whiz on the electric fence. :rainbowlaugh:

Or do you want to end up like this guy?

#5 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 13h ago · 3 · 1 ·

Any pony know a good funeral planner? I just died of laughter.

#6 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 13h ago · 5 · ·

Congratulations Luna, you've successfully scared me from away from alcohol.

Also, Pinkie and Luna have the same middle name?:pinkiehappy:

#7 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 12h ago · · 1 ·

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:Very nice. Judging from Twilight's reaction, this won't end well.:twilightoops:

#8 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 12h ago · 2 · ·

THE DRINKING HAS BEEN DOUBLED.

#9 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 12h ago · 7 · ·

Luna blinked once. "The cider is gone?"

"I'm afraid so, Princess."

"Why is the cider gone?"

Oh yes. Oh fucking yes. This. Is. Awesome. :rainbowwild:

#11 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 11h ago · · ·

:rainbowlaugh:

Absolutely amazing.

#12 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 10h ago · 1 · 2 ·

So... I don't get it... What are the implications here?:rainbowhuh:

#13 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 10h ago · · 1 ·

Did she ever have to look up words in the dictionary?

LUNAS MANE! Celestia? Look up words?!?! :fluttershbad:

XD the references!!!

#14 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 10h ago · 2 · ·

We require more drunk Luna forthwith!

#15 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 8h ago · 2 · ·

Yes! Geld Futashy!

...

...

Wait...

...

...

Shit.

#16 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 2h ago · 3 · ·

Hehehe... that was pretty damn good. :twilightoops::pinkiecrazy:

Fluttershy's childbearing hips you say?:yay::rainbowkiss:

#17 · Chapter 1 · 87w, 6d ago · 5 · ·

Was the drinking contest against Tirac, by any chance?

#18 · Chapter 1 · 87w, 6d ago · 2 · ·

Incomplete.. So theres moar??? :heart: So funny. I sense lunashy... :fluttershbad::twilightblush::facehoof:

#19 · Chapter 1 · 87w, 5d ago · 1 · 6 ·

(Joke) Alt. Title: The Chronicles Of Celestia: The Student, The Drunk And The Bathroom

And, I haven't read this and I don't know about anybody else, but this is how I like my bathroom humour:

#20 · Chapter 1 · 87w, 5d ago · · 2 ·

I imagine she just teleports it directly to the sun... :)

PS - one gelds males but spays females, no? (I imagine that along with binge drinking, savage homophobic laws have also fallen by the wayside in the last millenium, but one can never tell with crackfics. Or maybe Luna was just messing with Fluttershy).

#21 · Chapter 1 · 87w, 5d ago · · ·

Well, that happened. Also, why is it that Luna is always the one engaging in nonsexual debauchery?:unsuresweetie:

#22 · Chapter 1 · 87w, 5d ago · · ·

Oh god. ALL THE REFERENCES!

The part where Twi puts the pieces together reminds me of "To Reason is Treason" for some reason...

#23 · Chapter 1 · 87w, 5d ago · · ·

AND HAVE EXCELLENT CHILDBEARING HIPS

Don't worry fluttershy, I've been called that too.:fluttershyouch:

#24 · Chapter 1 · 87w, 5d ago · 2 · ·

Two sheets to the wind Luna: long may she drunkenly reign! :yay:

#25 · Chapter 1 · 87w, 5d ago · 2 · ·

Twilight's passages were a bit overwrought, even for the fic this is, but Luna and Celestia were amazing. You have my attention. :rainbowkiss:

#26 · Chapter 1 · 87w, 5d ago · · ·

...I have no idea what I just read...

...I will have to read the next chapter to figure that out...

...please bring it soon...

#27 · Chapter 1 · 87w, 4d ago · 5 · ·

I positively MISS this Luna.  :fluttercry:  The soft-spoken, in-your-dreams-Luna makes me a tad sad.

But YOU.  YOU brought back her glory~!!  And it twas wonderful.

This story had excellent humour.  I envy and adore you... oh so much.

Thank ye.  

#28 · Chapter 1 · 87w, 4d ago · 2 · ·

Twilight, I understand that you've spent a lot of time with Celestia, but have you ever considered that she simply never needed to go when you were with her?

#29 · Chapter 1 · 87w, 4d ago · · ·

This... This is humor in its finest.

#30 · Chapter 1 · 87w, 4d ago · · ·

Okay, I'm going to have to stop reading forever because this was way too AMAZING.

Drunk Luna, is most indoubtatlty best Luna.

#31 · Chapter 1 · 87w, 4d ago · 4 · ·

"...FOR WE ARE DRUNK, AND CANNOT FEEL PAIN!"

I died laughing here. Granted, it was very painful laughing, since my throat is trying to kill me with pain. I for one, dear Luna, am not drunk and therefore can feel pain.

#32 · Chapter 1 · 87w, 4d ago · · ·

This brought tears to my eyes. Drunk Luna is reallyreallyreally hilarious.

#33 · Chapter 1 · 87w, 3d ago · · ·

I really hope that this is incomplete.

#34 · Chapter 1 · 87w, 3d ago · · ·

This pleases every twitch of my humor.  Sadly, my humor has twitched enough to wiggle free and I have to go secure it before the next chapter arises.

#35 · Chapter 1 · 87w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

Drunk Luna is best pony.

This is hilarious.

#36 · Chapter 1 · 87w, 2d ago · · 1 ·

I think "Lunaria Diane Faust" would be better. If only because Lunarius is a masculine name.

#37 · Chapter 1 · 87w, 2d ago · 2 · ·

So Luna has to take a Royal Wee . . . and Twilight starts screaming as she contemplates the implications of alicorn micturition.

#38 · Chapter 1 · 87w, 2d ago · · ·

And, for the record:  I so want to see the drinking contest between Celestia and Tirek, please.

#39 · Chapter 1 · 87w, 2d ago · · ·

"The cider is gone?"

"I'm afraid so, Princess."

"Why is the cider gone?"

We now need a "I've Got A Jar Of Dirt" reference and my life will be complete.

Or even better:

"Remember this as the day you almost caught Princess Luna Faustina!" followed shortly by Luna running away from Celestia. :pinkiehappy:

#40 · Chapter 1 · 86w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

Nothing says fun more than seeing a goddess get completely shit-faced.

Nothing.

I think I pretty much lost my shit entirely when Luna praised Fluttershy for her chid-bearing hips...

#41 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

Oh god, this is just getting better and better. Please continue.

Also:

Pretending to still be unconscious was not an option, so Luna did the next best thing. She emptied the contents of her stomach all over Celestia's hooves.

You use this line twice.

#42 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

>>2055247 Dang it! How did I not catch that! Thanks.

#43 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 4d ago · · ·

Uh... ya got some dubbs in here,

"Unfortunately, when somepony is watching you sleep with the intensity that Celestia did, they know exactly when you wake up. “Good morning Luna,” she said in a voice that oozed malice and unpleasant things to come. "I believe you have a letter to write."

Unfortunately, when somepony is watching you sleep with the intensity that Celestia did, they know exactly when you wake up. Pretending to still be unconscious was not an option, so Luna did the next best thing. She emptied the contents of her stomach all over Celestia's hooves.

Pretending to still be unconscious was not an option, so Luna did the next best thing. She emptied the contents of her stomach all over Celestia's hooves."

Was that intentional?

#44 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 4d ago · · ·

>>2055278 Thanks. I've got it taken care of now.

#45 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 4d ago · · ·

>>2055247 Ya work fast!

Sorry for repeating what he already said, I was washed away in the torrent of comments!

#46 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 4d ago · · ·

I'm scared for this. I'm scared for this version of, or this event in said version of, Equestria. What with a psychotic, in denial, crazy unicorn with all of the magical prowess of the Celestial Sisters or pretty damn near close to it, and the fact that Princess Luna has to write a letter to Twilight while in the middle of a hangover... There's not going to be a pretty sight to be had...

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.

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Needless to say... I. LOVE. THIS. FANFIC. THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST COMEDIC FANFICS PERIOD. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PRINCESSES DON'T POTTY! *Guess the movie reference and get a cookie. :pinkiehappy:*

#47 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 4d ago · · ·

I like. :rainbowkiss:

#48 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 4d ago · · ·

Ha ha! The headache has been doubled!

That is where I actually stopped breathing for a moment.

Thank Celestia I needed to read on, and started breathing again.

Poor Twilight.:twilightoops:

#49 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 4d ago · · ·

This story never fails to be awesome!:rainbowkiss:

Can't stop laughing!:rainbowlaugh:

#50 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 3d ago · 3 · ·

I think if this story ends without a reference to this book http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Everyone_Poops I will be rather disappointed.

I mean... It's a Book. That seems like exactly the type of thing you would need to get Twilight out of her mental death spiral.

It also seems like something Fluttershy would have.

Now just imagine Fluttershy calmly sitting Twilight down amongst her friends and reading an equestrian version of that book to her.

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