The author would like to formally apologize for the atrocity that is about to be committed. The following literature is an affront to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, the My Little Pony franchise, the absurdist comedy genre and the very medium of the written word. It is an insult to artists of any medium or talent, and should not be read by anyone under any discernable circumstances.

A satirical comedy inspired by absurdist comedians everywhere, most notably the Monty Python comedy group.

UPDATE: COMPLETE! You may have heard of Pipsqueak. He's a pinto colt, originally from Trottingham, saved Nightmare Night from being abolished seven odd years ago. Know the one I'm talking about? Yes? Good. Since then he's grown into a charming, cultured hedonist who wants to bed near every mare in Ponyville and a good few of the stallions. He has a slender build and some ponies say he has mares' hips, though he feels that those ponies should shut their bloody mouths. His best mate is the gregarious and multi-talented Featherweight, and his other best mate is the stoic trencherpony and excellent cook Chowder.

This is the story of a Friday, and the wee hours of a Saturday. It's a teacher training day, and Pipsqueak and his friends have no school.

In twenty-four hours, a sinister plot to take down a local business is launched, Snips and Snails dabble in the dark magic of Peyuase, a great deal of debauchery occurs, a cocktail of unrivaled destructive power is created and a small fleet of ships are launched! All of this and more, in Pipsqueak's Day Off!

Massive thanks to LittleSallyDigby for help, editing and advice.

A young mare desperate to re-unite with her family, a weather-pony haunted by her past, and a magician breaking new ground in long distance communication, three mares dreaming of a better tomorrow. In the vast empty wastes of space wanders the last creation of a dead race searching for a home it can never find, while an ancient menace watches from the galactic core, wary for any threat to its power. All are unaware of the cascade of disasters they will bring. It will be by their choices that ponykind will survive, or perish.

These are the days before The Fall.

Why won't everypony leave Cheerilee alone about being single?!

(Featured on EqD.)

(Audio versions by Mr Kenyon and FarnesyFudge.)

She is as beautiful and graceful as the moon, and just as hard to reach. He is a young artist with much to learn about the world. When he accepts her challenge to create an artistic masterpiece, will he win her heart, or learn a terrible lesson in the nature of beauty and love?

Rainbow Dash is a well-known pegasus mare in Ponyville, but her parents know her as a colt, Sonic Dash. When they come to visit, she must confront both her parents and her friends with the truth of her identity. Will her parents accept her as their daughter instead of their son, and how will her friends handle the secret she has kept from them for so long? A story about family, gender identity, growing up with the wrong body, and, of course, friendship.

Frequently Asked Questions

Apple Bloom had always dreamed of the day. She just never dreamed that it would be a nightmare.

Pinkie longs to meet Mosh Whiplash, the only pony who parties harder than she does. Unfortunately, he prefers ponies of the plumper persuasion, and unless she can overcome her own metabolism, she won't even get to see him again. Can she put on the necessary weight before he leaves town?

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Yeah, this is one of my weirder stories. I did on request from a forum buddy of mine, and figured I'd use the opportunity to experiment with the style and with writing a type of story I don't usually do. It could probably stand to go through a couple more revisions, but I don't think it's too bad in it's current form.

There's nothing blatantly sexual in here, but the whole "getting fat to impress somepony" thing is bound to weird some people out, so I'm bumping the rating up to teen just to be on the safe side.

Also, the song Mosh is singing is Andrew WK's "Party Hard". Given that Andrew WK is basically Pinkie Pie in human form (seriously, look at his twitter) it seemed fitting.

Twilight asks Pinkie how she does all the stuff she does and Pinkie tries to explain it by explaining the nature of their world.

Inspired partially by the idea of CHIM from the Elder Scrolls games, one of the more meta things that doesn't crop up much in the games but very interesting.

And credits for the title image:
Sugar Cube Corner Kitchen vector by tdreyer1
Pinkie Pie Worried vector by Xigger
Pinkie... What? vector by thehellbean

Pinkie Pie throws excellent parties. This is a fact of life, like Fluttershy being rather demure, or Rarity having a sense of style. But the fact is, Pinkie's parties cost bits, and her job at the bakery isn't supporting her passions anymore. So she dusts off her degree and opens a side business...