- Member Since 9th Dec, 2011
- offline last seen 1 hour ago
RazedRainbow
Inconsistently making my favorite ponies miserable since 2011
RazedRainbow
Joined 9th Dec, 2011 ·
Offline
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Hmm. Nice. Short and sweet.
Aww, that was really cute. I saw a few minor grammatical errors that I'll send you in a PM. I wasn't looking very hard so I probably missed some more, but it might at least give you an idea of what kinds of things to look for if you do a revision. Other than that, this was very sweet. Excellent story as always, Mr. Rainbow.
Very interesting concept for a story, and you followed through with it exceptionally well. Though I didn't quite understand exactly what the mill was (most likely it's because I'm too tired to be reading anything right now). This gets a like from me.
Poor Apple Bloom
Brilliant. Love the reactions, all in character, even applebloom.
This was so sweet! Thumbs up from me. Such nice simplicity and directness, and so sincere.
Feel good, ya done good
Why can't I hold all these feels?
630824
You don't hold feels, silly. You bottle them up and unleash them on your enemies!
Nice. I love how you mixed horror and pride at the same time. Making us feel that through the eyes of a young filly that tried so hard to earn her cutie mark was a stroke of genius.
You got my upvote and my fave. Grats to you on a job well done.
This was great. I really enjoyed reading this!
This was really nice. I was actually expecting something a bit more dark, but I like this better.
Great story! I too thought it was going to be a darker story, but I'm pleasantly surprised
I'm running late as it is so I'd best keep this short, but very heartwarming story, good job!
Great Story, Keep it up!!!!
And have a moustache for your troubles.
Really sweet.
...
This was very well done. The way in which Applebloom focused on her task to the exclusion of all else made earning her cutie-mark work so well. The emotions were appropriate and the concept was well executed. A well crafted short story!
Very nice,good job!
Speaks to me.
Very sweet story.
I liked it! The writing was great, and the emotion was wonderfully done as well. The only thing I found odd, was that since this is first person, I have trouble buying that applebloom would tell her story the way she did (extensive vocab, ability to express complex emotions effectively) unless she was recapping this as a teenager or older. Other than that minor thing, this was great! It deserves more attention.
632705
Yeah, Apple Bloom's older in this (around young adulthood to full-on adulthood). I almost pictured this like a future Cutie Mark Chronicles with Apple Bloom telling her story to a filly in the same situation she was in when she was a filly (without a cutie mark and all that).
Still, glad you enjoyed it.
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
Phew
That was almost unfortunate
Awww I had the feels.
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Applebloom_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Sweetie_Belle.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Scootaloo.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/eenope.png
630954 Me too dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Derpy_Hooves.png
632872
fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/202/e/f/me_gusta_mucho_by_megustamuchoplz-d416uqk.png
Beautiful.
Nice.
I suddenly feel the urge to wright my own story almost identical to this ne, except with Scootaloo instead.
Oh Celestia why am I so tempted?
Also if i did make a story like that i would put no rainbow in it. it would be Scootaloo and Scootaloo only.
So simple, yet so deep.
You sir, are a genius.
To borrow a quote, if I may:
:
youve done quite a good job with this here story. i enjoyed it very much, and it was an interesting take for her cutie mark and how she got it. fitting yes, but interesting nonetheless. i liked it
Cute, and very sweet. Fun to read with a voice that's close to ABs, but a little softer on the accent.
Obviously the handles of the brush and hammer are made from applewood.
OMP i thought about crying just for a sec
but im just to
but it was good
I'm glad I read this.
That synopsis and the matter-of-fact narration sent my imagination into hyper-realism mode - I was ready for the worst. But instead, I got a short, concise, emotionally sound, and intellectually mature story about risks and uncertainty.
Thank you for writing it. I enjoyed it.
You played the emotions well, like a soft instrument. Good on you, fair writer.
This doesn't even make a connection, my heart is unfaltered. But I am happy, but you still ruined it. They accepted her. If it would have gone downhill, sadness, oh such sweet sadness, would have made it top notch.
It's one of those stories that I see as an emotional sharp. Takes an emotionally sharp turn from sadness and fear to happiness, a -13 degree sharp....
That was good
..... really good
Just beautiful. I felt the most genuine of remorse when Applebloom earned her mark without the crusader's help! This is a very well written and provoking story, keep it up!
Bravo, my good sir.
You are a fantastic writer. This was an awesome, cute and touching story. 
Good job.
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyw8apzYvD1r3856io1_500.png
Very good indeed.
Good job. I don't really like that Apple Bloom swears... and in "The Cutie Pox" her family is proud of her despite her two, random, non-Apple centered Cutie Marks... but the story is very cute in itself.
Great story. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Applebloom_lolface.png
Hmmm. It's nice, but it feels a bit anti-climactic, and really really sad.
Nice work.
Short stories like this usually interest me, and this one just grabbed my attention at first sight.
"The Mill? Sad picture of AppleBloom? Recently wrote a chapter where your description is similar to it?"
I'M IN! I'm so glad I read this. It warmed my heart right up after breaking it again.
While I'm not usually a fan of first person perspective type stories this one was really good, a lovely short bittersweet story. Well done.