Daring Do may have bitten off more than she can chew with her latest expedition partner. She seems determined to one-up Daring by using her knowledge of rocks, ignore her every instruction and not to speak a word more than necessary.

However, Daring may discover that there's far more to Maud Pie's single track mind than meets the eye... and that there's no such thing as 'just a rock farmer'.

Written for the Equestria Daily Writer's Training Grounds #012: "Maud Pie"

A/N: now with voice reading by "TheCaptainSand". Listen to his wonderfully dulcet british tones and his hilarious Applejack impression here. Thanks again, Cap!

Due to slightly contrived circumstances, Maud Pie becomes Equestria's fifth, newest (*cough* best *cough*) alicorn princess. Inducted, she will face the most dangerous, diabolical threat anypony has ever devised:

The legal system.

Will she be as stoic as ever? Will she be able to handle the crushing paperwork? Will Pinkie get to plan her coronation party?! Only one thing is for certain:

Rocks.

Many, many rocks.

Oh, and an attempted assassination and eventual plot to take over the world as we know it.

But mostly rocks.

XXXXXXXX

Just a little something I came up with. I apologize if it has errors, i haven't had much time to edit. I did fix it up as best as I could, though.

Hope you laugh! (If not, I apologize. Maud comedy is kind of hard to write, considering that... y'know. She's Maud.)

EDIT: Featured 10/9! My second featured story, and it only took me 8 months to do it! WOO-HOO!

EDIT 2: Holy crap. as of 10/21, my story is so popular that is in the realm of being in the featured box every time it gets updated. Can't thank you guys enough, cliche as it sounds.

Twilight Sparkle has important friendship problems to solve. However, that's hard to do with a "reformed" villain following you around all day.

(Context for later readers: This is based on the old Season 5 buzz when Starlight Glimmer — who got beaten in the Season 5 opener but escaped — canonically showed up in the background of the café in "Amending Fences". It was a big deal at the time.)

Audio versions:
Livereading by mindlessgonzo and friend!
Reading by Pony&Wolf Productions!

Finalist in the July 2015 Writeoff! Now revised and expanded for FIMFiction!

"Highly Recommended" by MLPmatthewl419! * Other reviews: Present Perfect, Titanium Dragon, PaulAsaran, Ghost Mike

Cheerilee decided that she would allow each pony in her class to choose what the nature of their homework should be. That was her first mistake.

The second was to think that Scootaloo was serious.

Due to pitifully low long-term conversion rates, the PER has decided that the best way to 'save' humans is to convert them against their wills. After several large potion bombings, the world drives them back into their homeland until the barrier is constructed as Celestia's last-ditch method of survival.

Unfortunately, this short war only brings about more supporters for the PER in Equestria, leading to the potion attacks on Gotham. These attacks were unprecedented in scale and in results. Hundreds of thousands of the residents of Gotham were forcibly converted, and, unfortunately, Bruce Wayne (Batman) was among them.

Besides from leaving criminals with much more freedom, this act of the PER also led to another unforeseen consequence: enraging the Joker. After all, he had finally found that which would finally break the spirit of both the city and the Batman, but it had all been ruined by the accursed ponies.

Now, with a thirst for bloodshed, he goes about repaying the PER for what they have done, his sights set on anything walking on four legs. However, as with many things the Joker is involved with, it may just fall into the disarray and chaos he is known for.

But who knows, the city may even consider him a hero after what he has planned for the equines...

EDIT: Rewriting this stuff. Will post next chapter when done.

Life gave Cave Johnson lemons. Ever the capitalist, he started to make them into lemonade and sell them. But he added a little flare to them first.

Written because this place looked lonely.

He was just out there, minding his own business, when he had first been summoned.
Big day for any imp. First summoning. Yep... time for a new 'master' to learn the ropes.
It would mean weeks (if not years) of service, slaving away, being beaten and abused while doing his new master's dirty work. It would be horrible. It would be agonizing. It would be unbearable. And in the end, it would be worth every moment of it. For, while he would be 'serving' his 'master', he would be slowly tainting them until they could be turned to the demon lords dark purposes.
And then.... then he had been banished, unexpectedly, in a battle and ended up............ here.
This was so not in his contract.

Ponynapping.
A skill almost every changeling is familiar with.
A skill that every changeling knew they had to do in order for their plan to succeed, but after it failed, they vowed to never do something that stupid ever again.
That is, until one of them thought that the second time would be the charm.

Tartarus. A burning plane of existence made to punish the damned and evil. And ruling over this pit of hellfire is Hades, Lord of the Dead and God of the Underworld. And while torturing souls and abusing his two minions Pain and Panic are always good fun, he's grown bored. With his plans to rule Olympus and destroy Hercules down the tube, he needs a new aspiration in his un-life. And since he needs to buy some groceries, Ponyville seems like the perfect place to go shopping. And maybe make an ally or two for his newest plan to take over Olympus. If he doesn't burn them all to a crisp and steal their souls first.

Living in Equestria under a false name and racial identity is one thing. Finding out you're not the only one of your kind stranded here is another... especially when that someone and the element bearers are looking for you.

Being my first attempt at a first-person romantic comedy, this takes a slightly different approach to the concept of being a human stranded in Equestria.

Enjoy.

Big thanks to DVAN56 for editing. Go check out his work!