When your life is as dull a gray as the world that surrounds you, the mundanities can make it all seem meaningless. Sometimes we need a couple drugs -- or six -- and maybe a pegasus, to reintroduce us to what truly makes life worth living.

Twilight Sparkle has every intention of crawling in to her freshly cleaned bed sheets.

So why is it so hard to get there?

Okay, I don't know if anyone can hear this, or read this, or whatever, but I'm trying my best to use Pinkie Pie's legendary fourth-wall-breaking powers to try and get a message out.

If you can hear this, I need help. I'm in Equestria, and man, this is strange. But I'm also stuck in Pinkie Pie's body, for some reason.

Yes, it's just as weird as it sounds. And now, I need your help... because all the ponies in this town think I'm crazy!

Twilight Sparkle flagrantly abuses her Come-To-Life spell, and learns a little bit about love in the process. Also, puns.

Now with actual cover art, thanks to the generous SuddenlyFerrets!

Now with a Spanish translation by Spaniard Kiwi!

After Twilight Sparkle discovers a new book of pick-up-lines, she wants to bring her friends closer by complimenting them with cheesy lines.

And it does more than bring them closer...

The title says it all. Must I really need to explain more? I guess I do because it says I have to.

Basically I took the most unbelievably corny and cheesy ideas that I have actually seen in My Little Pony shipping fics and placed them all into a one-shot romance.

Please, do not take this seriously.

Princess Celestia will at last get a taste of Twilight Sparkle. No, not in that way! The whole Elemental Harmony Squad is involved... no, still not in that way!

Popsicles will be prominently involved... and again, not in a naughty way. The only naughty pony here is Luna.

Pinkie Pie gets her friends to explain various aspects of Ponydom to the audience (aka a wall of Sugar Cube Corner's kitchen). A silly story poking fun at some of the fan-produced elements of MLP.

Co-written with Professor Piggy. Rarity and Applejack go out for a fun night on the town with their friends, but when Rarity's flirtatious tendencies flare up, the evening rapidly turns into something more serious than either of them expected it to be. A RariJack story.

Humans... humans are such a bizarre race. Capable of the greatest benevolence and the worst atrocities. And yet, they're so very predictable. For you see, while societies may die, and nations may crumble, one thing will remain constant: the desire to survive.

I should know. I was there when everything fell.