It's time to get going!
I couldn't be more excited! Finally, some answers!
The sun rose, and once again Fluttershy was up making breakfast for us. It was more wonderful pancakes and stuff. Cinnamon Swirl was up by the time I stumbled out of my tent, and he seemed to be in a much better mood. Possibly because he'd taken his braids out, finally.
Don't get me wrong, it's a good thing he undid them. They were looking pretty ratty, especially after his river-dunking by Twilight. Still... I missed them. I asked him if we could re-braid his mane and I received a curt "Why don't you go braid your face?" from him in reply. Which was... surprisingly free from cursing, honestly.
Anyway, everypony did seem to be in a lot better mood that morning. I don't know if it was because of all the nostalgic story-telling the night before, or if it was because we were finally within sight of our destination. Whatever the reason, I was allowed to sing as we walked!
I knew a few Pinkie Pie songs by heart, but a couple of them were actually long enough to bother singing like the Smile song. Also, I sang them the theme song. Yes! And I got them to sing along with me on the second time around. I even got them to sing the appropriate parts! Like having Rainbow Dash singing, "Big adventure!" and Fluttershy singing "Sharing kindness", and so on. It was awesome!
Once they got sick of that, though, I had to think of something else to sing. I was briefly tempted to teach them "Never gonna give you up", but I opted not to. Not even my sense of humor finds that funny anymore!
I sifted through my memory, trying to think of songs to keep us motivated, and to have fun. I finally settled on one. A song that was, perhaps, a little cliche, but still always managed to get people pumped up.
Sadly, only Applejack, Rainbow Dash were initially willing to help me out with the rhythm portions. I got them stomping their hooves in a specific pattern as we trotted along.
So, now, picture this: I have Applejack and Rainbow Dash stomping along with me as we proceeded down this relatively barren plain towards an intimidating destination where waited... who knows what? And the rhythm they were stomping was this:
Stop stomp stomp! Stop stomp stomp!
I started singing and, for the very first time in history, Queen's rock anthem "We Will Rock You" echoed across the Equestrian landscape! The ponies all looked at me funny, but I distinctly heard Rainbow say "Awesome!" as we stomped along. She joined in when I started singing the chorus for the second time, and AJ joined in after that.
Eventually, the other mares joined in with the stomping as well, though not in singing the chorus. Now all six of us (seven, if you count Cinnamon Swirl, who was now riding Fluttershy's back and clapping his hooves to the rhythm) were stomping along to the best stadium anthem ever written.
Simply. Epic.
That wasn't the only song we sang, of course. I followed that up with Tubthumping, by Chumbawumba. Don't worry, though. I took out all the alcohol references and replaced them with references to fruit drinks and the like. Can't go around corrupting the little ponies!
Just for giggles, I also threw in 'Everybody Have Fun Tonight'. Yeah, that didn't help anypony think I was any less crazy! I tried to get Fluttershy to sing 'I'm Too Sexy' with me, but she adamantly refused, which made me a sad pony for about ten seconds before I got her singing 'My Favorite Things', where she added her own lyrics, like "cute cotton tails on small bunny rabbits".
One part that was pretty fun was when Rainbow and I sang 'I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)'. We alternated the lyrics, and everything!
"OH, I would walk five hundred miles," I sang, followed by Dash singing, "And I would walk five hundred more!"
"Just to be the mare that walked a thousand miles to fall down at your door!" we sang together.
Then we burst into an alternating series of "Da-da-lat-das", shouting at the top of our lungs. A couple of days ago, that alone would have been enough to get Twilight scolding us. Today, though, she was giggling at our antics, as were the rest of the ponies.
I found in Dash an excellent singing partner, one who wasn't afraid to try a new song. So, after a whispered conference on lyrics, we tried another cooperative one.
"Mock!" I sang, and Dash alternated with: "Yeah!"
"King!"
"Yeah!"
"Bird!"
"Yeah!"
"Ye-"
"Hold up," Twilight said, inconsiderately stomping all over our groove. "We're almost there. Maybe we should approach a little more quietly?"
"Aww...." Dash and I said together, but we both shut up.
All the goofing around on the way over here meant that I hadn't really paid much attention to my surroundings. We were actually really close to the castle now. Here, I'll try to describe it for you. Let me put on my dramatic voice, and give this a shot:
The mountain reached up like a single pillar, black as night, pointing straight up to the sky like an accusing finger. At the base, it got slightly wider, and then opened up into a crescent-moon shape. Nestled into that crescent moon was a castle like I'd never seen or even imagined before, all shining black stone, and seamless as if it had grown there rather than been built there.
The castle was tall and wide, with many spires along its breathtakingly high walls. Glowing crystals set along the top of the walls, and in the spires themselves, created a pulsating white light that cast odd dancing shadows on the ground all around us. A single massive door, apparently made of black obsidian, dominated the center wall.
Also, I was getting some odd Pinkie sense that I didn't know what it meant. It was a twitchy back left hoof and an itchy scalp. Maybe it was the Pinkie sense for "freaking spooky castle"?
"Well, there's no actual cover to hide behind," Applejack pointed out. "So, there ain't much sense in sneakin' up on it. Ah say we just walk up, bold as brass, and knock on the door."
"Maybe we can go home?" Fluttershy suggested. I can't say I blamed her. My 'spooky castle sense' was going off stronger than ever, the closer we got.
"No, we have to finish this. It's for Pinkie's sake," Twilight said.
"Maybe I could stay here?" Cinnamon Swirl asked. "I mean, Fluttershy and I could stay here. I could... keep an eye on her. While she stays here. Right?"
"Not fooling anyone, bud," Rainbow Dash said, nudging him along.
"Okay, everypony. We're here as friends, remember. Let's just go and talk to her, all right?" Twilight said.
We agreed, and off we went. Cautiously, of course, but still out in the open and not trying to hide. Not that there was anything to hide behind. The only cover for miles was a row of bushes right in front of the castle wall, that I hadn't noticed previously.
We were about twenty feet from the door, when a voice suddenly rang out.
"Ah, how nice to see you, my little ponies", the voice boomed, both feminine and menacing at the same time. "Please, come closer... if you want to meet your doom!"
The voice, which, by the way, was so loud and shocking that it nearly made me pee myself and also caused Fluttershy to collapse in terror, reverberated around the area oppressively. It was a slightly familiar voice, one that just oozed malicious intent.
We stopped, of course. We ain't got the stupids.
"We're here to see Skyggie, the Shadow Witch," Twilight called back. "We come in peace, we only want to ask her for some help."
"Indeed?" the voice replied snidely. "If you come closer, you will not find Skyggie. You will only find... your doom!"
Sheesh. Melodramatic, much? Also, I noted, the voice sure liked saying "doom!" a lot.
"The Shadow Witch is no more. This castle now belongs to me! Trespass, and it shall be your-"
"Doom?" I suggested.
There was a dangerous pause.
"Oh, foalish whelp!" the voice blazed in fury. "You dare to mock me?!" A cloud of purple smoke coalesced in front of us, a dark shape forming in the center. "I shall show you the true meaning of the word... Nightmare!"
The shape stepped out of the cloud, massive and deadly. Wings flared wide across the armored form, and the long horn on her forehead gleamed with deadly sharpness. Yup. I recognized her, all right.
"Nightmare Moon!" the ponies around me all shouted at the same time. Except for Cinnamon Swirl, who was both clueless and hiding behind Fluttershy.
This Nightmare Moon was sure scary! In fact, she seemed to be a LOT larger than I thought she'd be, standing easily four times taller than anypony else there. Long fangs hung down from her mouth, and her eyes gleamed green and deadly. She looked like an evil caricature of a pony, one intended to induce... well, nightmares.
With a sudden burst of clarity, things clicked in my mind, and I understood what my new Pinkie sense was. Simultaneously, I also figured out why Pinkie was okay with "giggling at the ghosties", but would sometimes freeze in terror when, say, a gigantic hydra came stomping towards her.
"Oh, yawn," I said, sitting down and doing my best to look bored. "Don't you think you're overdoing it a little bit?"
Twilight gaped at me as if I were crazy. The pony-monster in front of me looked confused, but recovered bravely.
"I am Nightmare Moon!" she cried, flapping those massive wings. "I am the Queen of Darkness! All shall bow before me! Flee, and perhaps I will let you live!"
"You're not Nightmare Moon. She was a part of Luna, and Luna is in Canterlot. Care to try again?" I said, grinning.
There was a long, uncomfortable moment of indecision, after which the creature before us started talking again, this time with a sarcastic male voice.
"Oh, fine, you caught me," the voice said. The purple smoke dissipated, and Nightmare Moon wavered and reformed, becoming a creature that seemed to be made of several different types of animals. "Oh, well done, my little ponies!" the creature said smoothly. "It is actually I, Dis-"
"You're not Discord, either," I pointed out. The creature in front of me just stared. "So, what's next? Going to pretend to be Chrysalis? Tirek? The Smooooooze?" I asked, really drawing out the "o"s in that last one. "Is Gilda going to swoop out of nowhere to harass us and call us lame dweebs? Is Trixie hiding behind the bushes, waiting to ambush us?"
'Discord' vanished with a loud popping sound, and a blue unicorn mare with a silver mane stepped out from behind the bushes by the front door.
"How did you know it was me?" The Great and Powerful Trixie asked. And I knew it was actually her and not another illusion, because that new Pinkie sense went from shrieking an alarm back to just a background nuisance, like it had before the fake Nightmare Moon showed up.
"Trixie?!" gasped everypony but me and Cinnamon Swirl.
"Well? Trixie asked you a question!" the showmare said, stomping up to me. "What gave me away? How did you know where I was hiding? How did you know it was me?"
"Oh, I have my ways," I said in a mysterious voice. I failed to elaborate that my 'way', in this case, was complete random chance and blind luck. "What are you doing here, anyway?"
"I am the greatest performer who has ever lived!" Trixie boasted. "However, I had heard of one whose skill with illusion surpassed even my own. Skyggie, the Shadow Witch! I came and petitioned her to be my teacher. And, as you can see, my skill with illusions is now truly without peer!"
She came right up to me and stared me in the eye.
"And so, I must know," she growled. "What gave Trixie away?"
"Well... Your Nightmare Moon was a little too scary, first of all. It's pretty clear you modeled her after the Nightmare Moon from Nightmare Night, and not the actual one from legend. She was too big, too menacing, too... well, frankly, too ugly. The real Nightmare Moon was deadly but beautiful, since she was a reflection of Luna's darker half, and what she secretly wanted to be like."
The other ponies were looking at me like I was crazy as I spouted a variety of fanon theories. Can't say that I blamed them. I honestly had no idea if what I said was remotely true.
"Also," I added, since Trixie didn't seem satisfied with that answer, "it seems like Pinkie has a Pinkie sense that can detect illusions."
"Pinkie... sense?" Trixie asked, confused.
"Yup," I said chirpily. "For example, I know that castle doesn't really look like that. It's an illusion, too."
"Well, technically, it's not," Trixie said. "An illusion is when you create an image that is formed with nothing behind it. This is an image that is overlayed on an existing object, which makes it-"
A bolt of pure magical power shot out of Twilight Sparkle's horn and impacted the castle, which shimmered and vanished.
"-a glamour," Trixie finished lamely, staring at the castle in apparent shock.
"And that was a spell that cancels out illusions," Twilight said in a slightly self-satisfied voice. "It works just as well on glamours."
My new Pinkie sense stopped immediately, once the imposing and fake building disappeared. The real Castle Penumbra, without its impressive glamour coating, was a squat and dumpy-looking tower, maybe three stories tall, with a slightly warped front door made of wood.
"Skyggie cast that glamour herself," Trixie whispered, sounding awed.
"So, Trixie," Twilight said casually. "Why were you trying to scare us away?"
Trixie snapped back to reality.
"Ahem. Well. Trixie wanted to stop you from seeing her mistress. She has... guests. And now is not a good time, especially for the six of you, to see her."
"Why not?" Rainbow Dash asked with a challenge in her voice. "This ain't like on the stage, Trixie. You give us any guff, and we'll mop the floor with you, no matter what tricks you have to pull out."
"Ordinarily, I would rebuke Rainbow Dash for her crude threats," Rarity said in a deceptively chipper voice. "However, I, too, remember the stage show. And the green hair," she finished with a note of menace in her voice.
"Ah reckon' it's in your best interest to let us pass, Trixie," Applejack said. "Ah don't wanna have to fight, but we came too far to give up now. Plus, one of our friends may be in danger. We gotta see Skyggie."
"I'll give you a lollipop if you let us through," I said, holding one out to her, the huge rainbow-swirled kind you usually only see in cartoons.
"Where did you get... " Trixie asked, staring in incomprehension at the oversized confection in front of her. "Never mind. No. I can't let you past. You don't understand! She's in terrible danger, and it's because of all of you! If you go in... I don't know what will happen to her!"
"How is she in danger?" Twilight asked. And then tower door banged open. Trixie flinched, and distanced herself slightly from the rest of us.
"Because of me," an annoyingly familiar voice said.
I sighed. Seriously, this was getting old.
"Hey, Doctor Creepy-face," I said wearily.
"That is not my name," he replied, eyes flashing with anger. Then he added smugly, "And it's not 'Doctor Needles', either."
"Really? Are you a changeling or something?" I asked
"A changeling?" he asked, sounding extremely amused by the accusation. "Hardly. Those fools are weak, needy. I am neither. Even so, I am but a humble servant of my queen, and nothing more."
"You are more," I told him. "You are also the most annoying and lamest villain, ever."
He stared at me, eyes narrowed, and I could see a vein throbbing in his forehead.
"Lame villain?" he repeated, low and deadly. "Don't assume that my prior defeat was at all indicative of my real strength. I was only using a fraction of my true power and why are you laughing?!"
Oh, I couldn't help it! It was so incredibly cliche!
"'Only... a fraction...'," I repeated, nearly breathless from a bad case of the giggle-fits. "Oh, it's like you're reading from the villain's guide to shonen manga! That makes you super lame! Like, you were only using a fraction of your true lameness!"
His eye twitched, and then a maniacal grin overtook his features.
"Indeed," he purred, voice oozing with menace. "Would you like to see my true abilities?"
"Sure, why not?" I said, grinning.
"Um, Pinkie," Twilight started saying, sounding concerned. I held up my hoof, still chuckling.
"Hold on, Twilight. I want to see how deeply I need to pity this fool."
His horn glowed, and suddenly dozens, maybe even hundreds of needles appeared, all hovering in his magical grasp, shifting and weaving like a school of extremely pointy fish. The ponies behind me gasped in horror at the sight. It sobered me up a little, too, at least to the point where I stopped laughing.
"Would a 'lame' villain be able to do this?!" he shouted triumphantly.
"Well..." I said, rubbing at my chin with a hoof, "Since you just did, I would have to say the answer is 'yes'."
He stared at me for a few seconds before screaming in rage.
"You... Argh! I'm going to... Rraaaagh!"
Oooh, he was so mad, he could barely talk! He took a step forward, and the needles advanced with him, zipping about like angry wasps. "I'm going to jab you into a coma!" he screamed, incandescent with fury. "You insufferable little pony! I'll fill you with more holes than a pincushion! And then I'm going to-"
"Sleep!" I told him. His eyes got really wide for a second.
"Aw, shi-" *thud!*
The needles all fell to the ground around him. And, in a fine display of irony, a couple ended up stuck in his own hide.
"Piece of cake," I grinned at the stunned ponies behind me. "Now, let's go see that witch!"
And, with that, I turned and trotted on into the castle.
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Yes, was able to get another new chapter out before losing my internet! I was hoping I'd be able to get this out
Also, I had some fun with the Pony Creator, and made "Doctor Creepy powers up":
i1167.photobucket.com/albums/q624/Hoopy_McGee/DoctorCreepypowersup.jpg
Thanks for reading!
Awesome, as usual.
Hahahahahahaha. Nice one Pinkie-Guy.
MORE PLZ THIS IS GREAT
Sleep! Awesome.... literally still laughing at that!
Yay! Update!
BWAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png THAT WAS SO FKIN HILARIOUS!! I CAN'T BREATHE! Oh god.. That sir, was EXCACTLY how ANY human would have reacted to cliche villains and such.
Oh that ending. Priceless.
Pinkie Guy wins!
Narcolepsy!
Flawless Victory!
HILARIOUS!!!
There's so much win in this chapter... My computer must be nearly about to explo-
OH SHI-
I have no Idea why, but I was listening to this during the chapter. It actually went quite well.
da da da
da da da
da da da dum da da dum da da dum da da
da da da
da da da
da da da dum da da dum da da dum da da
I'm reminded of Fate Stay Night's Babylon Gate thing, but with needles instead of swords. Also, best ass-kicking. Ever.
Shonen villain, huh? Hundreds of needles, you say? Maybe... even more than a thousand? Would you say that they might even surpass the four digit range of numbers?
...Okay, I'll stop.
And I vote that Unnamed Protagonist should definitely look into that time-sharing option with Pinkie once this is all done with. Anything else would obviously be a great loss to ponykind.
when she said sleep I burst into tears from the laughter!
If I got to hang out with them for a day I would also try to get a sing-a-long going as well. That was funny.
Poor Dr. Creepy is so pathetic, he tries so hard but he ends up so cliche.
Funniest chapter yet.
Nice work.
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/23/FtkPwYi1gUGBhnxpQb4WRw2.gif
Enough said, my good fellow.
Sounds like somepony didn't take a bubble bath. I wonder when/if Dr. Creepy-face Mc Liar Pants will find out. He does seem pretty dangerous, with the needles and all.
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png
fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/052/0/1/mlp_rage_faces_pinkie_pie_by_observedfirefly-d4qhlb8.png
1212688
"Sleep!"
Ah, I would love to be in the MC's position... Then again, who wouldn't want to be Pinkie Pie for a few days?
Had this open before I even got the update notifier email. I must say, this did not disappoint (my decidedly non-brony family kept asking me what as so funny)
LMFAO the best way to defeat an enemy is to piss them off enough that they forget their weekneses
All that marching scene needs is some "Hey Jude"!
My TRUE ABILITIES!!!!!!!!!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
sleep
Fu...
That caught me so off guard!
^^
Heh. Priceless.
FINISH HIM.
>"Would a 'lame' villain be able to do this?!" he shouted triumphantly.
>"Well..." I said, rubbing at my chin with a hoof, "Since you just did, I would have to say the answer is 'yes'."
i.imgur.com/rXwxI.jpg
I think he just got told.
1st off, how can you pee yourself if your not wearing any clothes?
and next, OMG FOR SOME REASON I SEE A GRAVITY FALLS REF IN THERE!!!!
Thank god someone mentions the whole villain cliche thing...
1212829
It's over nine THOUSAND!
There, I did it for you.
Ah, meta humor.
How does something so cliche become so amusing to witness?
HA!
And this isn't even my final form!
Best response EVER!!!
"Sleep"
Wish that worked when my teacher was rambling on about something or rather.
1212688 That right there, that's a rape face. Coupled with the line "Would you like to see my true abilities", it's incredibly terrifying.
I halfway expected P. Rotagonist to tell the villain "Go back and take it from the top, but this time with feeling"
And the Emmy goes to...
LULZ!
Too funny.
I'm totally imagining Dr. Creepy-Face as the Medic from TF2.
"Woops! Zat vas not medicine! Heh, heh."
Sir you deserve this. (Hands key to the Universe.)
and in the next chapter
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw7729-021_-_internet_fight.gif
Holy crap, this chapter was awesome. I mean normally I like to elaborate, and talk about characterization methods and story premises and stuff like that but... this was just perfect from start to finish. Pinkie Guy is best pony.
Holy crap, this chapter was awesome. I mean normally I like to elaborate, and talk about characterization methods and story premises and stuff like that but... this was just perfect from start to finish. Pinkie Guy is best pony.
Protagonist has reached Level 25 Pinkie Pie! ... or something, I dunno. I can't think of comments for every chapter!
In any case, he's getting used to his role. That may be just what's needed to save the day.
1212688 1212878
img525.imageshack.us/img525/3788/greengoblinsleepgas.png
"Sleeeeeeeeeeeep..."
1212878
The Oh Shi- is what got me laughing a lot.
i was wondering what doc neetles washe is pritty creepy
ernope
did he take a buble bath?
"sleep" hoof palm
Ok, i actually laughed at the how Dr. Prick was defeated. Might want to address that weakness, buddy. *snrk* Or not! Ha!