Don't worry, it's all good.
I mean, I'm not getting arrested, or anything. Still, I have no idea how it happened without us noticing. Suddenly, pegasusususes everywhere! They landed all around us, a couple of them with carriages, which held even more ponies, including two very familiar ones. One was a unicorn who face-hoofed immediately upon seeing us, and the other was an earth pony, who did this:
"That's them! That's the escaped mental patient and the ponies who helped her escape!" No-longer-Flats shouted while pointing a hoof at me. He must have made it back to Ponyville while we were trudging through the forest, gotten himself a quick herbal bath at the spa, then summoned the guards to come and get us.
"See?" he continued. "That's my sergeant! I know he looks like a little filly, but that's because of the poison joke that crazy mare made us run through!"
"Terrace, calm down," Cinnamon Swirl piped adorably at him. "It turns out that-"
"And that's some kind of weird alien!" Terrace continued, hysteria cranking his voice up to 11 while he pointed at Pinkie. "And now I don't know what's going on!"
"Care to explain this, Twily?" Shining Armor asked as he got done face-hoofing and hopped out of the carriage.
"Hi, big brother," Twilight said with a smile.
"You have a brother?" I asked, feigning surprise. "Since when?"
"Since always," Twilight said, throwing me a confused look and completely missing my probably-not-as-funny-as-I-thought-it-was joke.
"She's your sister?" Terrace asked, looking confused and mildly horrified.
"I already did that joke," I pointed out.
"Terrace," Cinnamon Swirl tried again. "It's all true, okay?" The unnerved stallion looked down at the little filly. "I mean, I know it seems nuts, right? But the pink mare over there isn't crazy. Weird, but not crazy. He really is an alien, and that alien is the mare. They're trapped in each other's bodies."
Terrace gave C.S. the bug-eye for a few seconds, then screamed, "They got to you, too! Oh, Sarge, I'm so sorry! I knew I shouldn't have left you with them!"
He scooped the protesting filly up in a hug, crying and blubbering. "Please forgive me, partner! You were brainwashed, and with only two days until your retirement from the Ponyville P.D.!"
"Lemme go, you idiot!" Cinnamon Swirl shouted, unleashing a truly impressive flurry of hoof-strikes.
"Sir, please release and step away from the juvenile," one of the guards said.
"Will everyone just settle down?" Shining Armor barked. "I'm going to find out what's going on, here. Twilight? Please explain why I was just dragged halfway across Equestria by a possibly unstable police officer to find you, your friends, a filly and an alien all wandering around in the middle of nowhere."
So, we set up an impromptu camp, since it was getting late anyway. The guards had brought lots of provisions, we had our tents, and soon we had a fire up and roaring while Twilight was explaining everything. Well, almost everything. I think there were parts of it that even she couldn't believe, and she'd seen it all happen.
When she was done, Shining Armor summed it up thusly:
"Okay. So, what I have here is that your friend Pinkie and this alien swapped bodies because 'Queen Glittery Chihuahua' wanted to take over Equestria," he recited, while looking at his notes, "and because of that, everypony in town thought that Pinkie was crazy when the alien in her body was actually telling the truth. Then a 'creepy-faced doctor with a needle fetish' locked the alien up, and then he escaped because 'Pinkie Pie', and 'sneaky-ninja'ed' his way to the 'tree-brary'. You got your friends together, used the Elements of Harmony to beat up the Queen, then the real Pinkie Pie showed up out of nowhere, 'because she's awesome like that', and in the process, broke a very expensive mirror. Is that more or less right?"
"Um. It probably would have made more sense if Pinkie Guy hadn't kept interrupting," Twilight said.
"Wait, 'Pinkie Guy'?" Pinkie asked.
"I can't remember my real name," I explained. "The Queen did something funky to my head."
"Oh, for goodness' sake," Pinkie said. "Why didn't you just say? Here."
She pulled out my wallet, took out my driver's license and showed it to me. I blinked at it in surprised happiness as my name slotted itself back into my memory, right where it belonged.
"Oh, wow," I said, my brain all tingly. "Thank you, Pinkie! I can't tell you what it's like not even knowing my name!"
"No problem. Want me to hold on to this?" she said, indicating the wallet.
"Yeah, please," I said, and she tucked it away. I turned to Shining and said, "-"
That's all I got out, because Rainbow Dash immediately interrupted me.
"Hold it! Don't keep us in suspense! What's your danged name?"
"Oh! Sorry, everypony. I should introduce myself properly." I stood up, and bowed slightly. "Pleased to meet you, my name is Allen."
"Nice to meet you, Allen," is what everypony but Dash said. Instead, the pegamenace just stared at me, then burst out laughing.
"Allen the alien!" she said, extremely pleased with her own cleverness. Her laugh was infectious, and soon we were all laughing fit to be tied. It seems silly, and it's really not that funny of a joke, but heck... it had been a long day. We'd just beaten the Queen of the Faeries after taking down her needle-obsessed henchpony, and then we'd fled the murderously angry Skyggie and her demonic broom, so it's not too surprising we'd have a post-traumatic fit of the giggles!
We had a pretty good time after that. Just chatting, laughing, eating and joking around. It was the best time I'd had since I came to Equestria, and that's saying something. It was amazing.
We sang some songs, and I learned some new Equestrian campfire songs, which was awesome! We shared stories, told jokes... even Cinnamon Swirl joined in, once he found out that the guards weren't going to mock him for his... ailment.
"Wow. That's rough, buddy," a grizzled earth pony guard said after Cinnamon Swirl related his story.
"Ah, it ain't so bad, now that I'm used to it," the filly said. "And, I know I can change back once I get to Ponyville. One more night as a filly isn't gonna hurt me."
Oh, that's right. The guards were going to fly us all back to town, drop off Cinnamon Swirl and Terrace, and then bring the rest of us to Canterlot to see the Princesses. Yay for not having to slog through the Everfree!
The awkward conversation happened at one point. You know, the one where I had to explain why I had Mane 6 pony dolls in my apartment? And, why I had so many more figures of Twilight? Though, seriously, it's not that many more. A couple of blind bag figures, one molded and one brushable figure, and a custom figure and plushie I got off of a fan site. That's not so crazy, is it?
"Well, what can I say?" I said in my own defense. "We don't actually watch you guys, we watch stories that we make up based on you guys that just happens to go along with what really happens to you, more or less."
"Well, why do you have so many figures of me?" Twilight asked, looking mildly freaked out.
"Yeah, why not me?" Rainbow Dash said. "I'm the coolest!"
I blushed, then launched into my explanation.
"Yes, you are, Rainbow Dash. And Fluttershy is the sweetest, Rarity the most beautiful, Pinkie the funniest, and Applejack is the most practical and dependable. You all have your wonderful points, and I love you all. But Twilight is... adorkable."
"Adorkable?" Twilight asked, scrunching up her face in confusion. "That's not even a word, is it?"
"See?!" I said, pointing. "Adorkable! A portmanteau of 'adorable' and 'dork'. She's so cute and nerdy, it's all I can do not to squee every time I see her!"
Shining Armor looked torn between wanting to be protective of Twilight and the desperate desire to laugh at his sister's obvious discomfort. He settled on laughing when Twilight gave a Fluttershy-worthy 'eep!' and buried her head under her forelimbs.
That did it. Everyone else laughed at poor Twilight's expense, and she didn't come back up for air until the laughter died down a little. When she did look up, it was to glare at me.
"Is that all?" she asked, visibly annoyed.
"Well... you're also fantastic with magic," I said. "That counts for a lot. And you can plan and organize like nopony else! You have incredible skills, you just lack a little in social awareness. That's what makes you so cute."
She blushed again, or rather kept on blushing like she had been for the last few minutes only more so, and then said, "You really think I'm cute?"
"You're all cute! All ponies are cute!" I said in a panic, as Shining Armor had visibly flipped from 'teasing' to full-on 'protect the little sister' mode. "That's, like, at least 90% of what it means to be a pony! Equestria runs on Cuteonium!"
"Is Shining Armor cute?" Twilight asked, giggling slightly.
I looked at the stallion. He looked back at me. I quirked an eyebrow at him as I regarded him. He responded by lowering both brows and glaring in a warning sort of way. I responded to that by derping my eyes and waggling my eyebrows. He laughed, which means that I won.
"He'd be a lot cuter if he did something with his mane, and at least tried to use some make up," I said, and the tension dissipated in more laughter.
We got back onto safer subjects, and Pinkie and I had the camp in stitches with our impromptu comedy routines. We were constantly riffing off of each other, one of us starting a joke and the other one finishing it, or improvising off of each other like a well-honed comedy machine. Can you imagine? Two Pinkie Pies! My ribs hurt so bad by the end of the night, the only thing that made it so I could sleep was that I was so exhausted from laughing so hard.
But sleep, I finally did. Pinkie, far too tall to fit in any pony-sized tents, slept in the back of one of the carriages with a blanket. The guards kept up a watch rotation, so that the rest of us could all sleep.
In the morning, breakfast was prepared by the guards, which, sadly, meant no more Fluttercakes. Too bad, those things are delicious! I have to remember to ask her how she makes them. Then we packed everything up, hopped in the carriages...
Okay, I don't know if I can adequately explain what it's like to fly in an open carriage pulled by a pair of pegasi. It. is. awesome! I wished, just for a minute, that I could have been Rainbow Dash, instead of Pinkie Pie, because flying like this? Seriously cool!
The wind whipped our manes around, except for Rarity, who cast some sort of shield spell to protect her coiffure. That spell had the unfortunate side-effect of making everything she said sound like it was coming out of the bottom of a well, and none of us told her how silly she sounded... it was hilarious!
The ground flashed beneath us with astonishing speed, the browns of the plains giving way to the dark greens of the Everfree, and then into the more delicate and gentle greens of Ponyville almost before I could believe it. We landed gently, just outside of town, and we decided to take a break and have some lunch before we left on the final sprint to the castle.
The guards all went to a cafe to eat and rest up, and my pony friends decided to head to Sugarcube Corner, with the exception of Fluttershy, who wanted to stop by her cottage really quickly to make sure her animals were okay, and Twilight, who wanted to check and make sure Spike was doing all right.
I went off with Cinnamon Swirl and Terrace, looking for the spa. Terrace went along, I'm guessing, because he felt guilty about Cinnamon, and I went along because... well, pretty much for the same reason, honestly. I mean, it was my joke that did this to the poor guy.
I have to tell you, I'm still just in awe of Ponyville! I giggled to myself in what was probably a very disturbing way as I walked with the others to get the filly a bubble bath. We didn't quite make it, though, because a voice in the crowd shouted, "Is that my baby? Is that my Cinnamon Swirl?"
"Sorry, Cinnamon," a shame-faced Terrace said to the suddenly terrified filly. "I kind of told your mom what happened."
"What?!" the filly asked, panicked.
"Sorry! She scares me!"
A thick-waisted middle-aged cream-colored mare came charging towards us, a hungry look in her eye. I looked down at the filly next to me as he whimpered and clung to my leg, all the color drained from of his face. He looked up at me with pleading eyes and said, "Help me!"
"What?"
"That's my mother! She's always wanted a filly! I have five brothers! Five! She never stopped trying, and now she thinks she has a daughter! Help me!"
As the mare thundered down the street, I scooped up Cinnamon Swirl and held him to me, and for once, he didn't try to bop me in the nose.
"Stay away from my baby!" I shrieked at the mare, who skidded to a halt in confusion. She looked at Terrace, who just shrugged and looked away.
"That's my baby!" she shouted back. Ponies were gathering around to watch the show.
"Nuh-uh! Mine, crazy lady!" I said.
"You don't have a baby, Pinkie Pie!" Bon Bon shouted not-so-helpfully from the crowd.
"Oh, nice one, candybutt!" Cinnamon Swirl shouted back, clinging to my neck like I was a life-preserver.
I was about to make a clever retort when Cinnamon's mom slammed into me like a wrecking ball. The filly went flying, and his mother made a truly impressive diving catch. As I lay there, gasping for breath, Cinnamon Swirl was dragged off by the manic mare.
"Mine! My little filly! At last!"
"Noooo!" Cinnamon Swirl cried while being dragged away. "Help me, you colossal butt-heads!"
"My son!" the mare giggled. "My daughter! It's my son and my daughter!"
"You guys suuuuuuuuck!" Cinnamon Swirl's voice faded away, and I finally regained enough breath to talk.
"We should help him!"
Terrace laid a hoof on my shoulder and said, sadly, "Forget it, Allen. It's Ponyville."
I stared at him in disbelief, then slapped his hoof away.
"You did not just say that. It's not possible."
"What?"
"Look, where does she live?"
"I dunno. And even if I did, I'm not going there. That mare is seriously nutty."
I glared at him, and then looked away with a sigh. I set off in search of the filly, and Terrace slunk away, probably to go report in to work or something. Honestly, that guy... He stops being two-dimensional just to turn out to be a coward. So disappointing.
I spent the next hour wandering around Ponyville, listening out for the little guy. I mean, I was pretty sure that I'd be able to hear him... After all, how many foul-mouthed fillies would be screaming at the tops of their lungs in Ponyville?
After the fifth time I jumped from around a corner and went "Ah-hah!" at a startled Diamond Tiara and/or Silver Spoon, I decided to give it up. Maybe I could get Pinkie Pie to look for him after we switched back and give his mom a "special" bottle of herbal bubble bath.
I met up with the others at Sugarcube corner, got myself a box of cupcakes to go (all my searching around meant that it was time to get going already) and went with the others, explaining on the way what happened to Cinnamon Swirl. Dash, naturally, laughed her butt off, and there was some general chuckling from the other mares, too. But Twilight and Pinkie both agreed that they'd try to find him and slip a bottle of the cure into his mom's possession at some point.
The pegasi took off and Ponyville dropped away behind us. As we passed overhead, I saw the familiar face of a blond filly, her hair re-done in braids and the rest of her stuck in a frilly pink dress, reaching out of the second story window of one of Ponyville's homes. He was shouting something, which I should probably be glad I couldn't hear. I waved sadly.
Fare thee well, Cinnamon Swirl. Fare thee well.
Anyway, there's a flight ahead, and cupcakes to eat, and friends to talk to, so I'm going to concentrate on all that for now. Next stop, Canterlot!
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Sorry for the delay between these chapters. Still had some work to do on this one.
One last chapter, or maybe two depending on how the next one goes. Enjoy!
YES!! I just read the last chapters in one go, and now I read this one, you sir, are brilliant!!!
First, I was like
Now I'm like
Seriously man, this story is incredible!
Poor Cinnamon. This week has been horrible for him.
Also, it is so awkward explaining that you have little toy versions of the ponies you are talking to.
Oh my god poor Cinnamon Swirl he/she just can't catch a break.
e.e oh my, poor Cinnamon...
So now we know your REAL name, well it's about time!
So cinnamon swirl is stuck as a filly for the rest of his life?
Poor Cinnamon Swirl
I hope we get an epilogue of his escape from Ms CrazyPants!
0_0*
Too... Much... Awesome!
/)^3^(\*
*Note: Both are hand typed as a reward. You made me do work!
Lol cinnamon swirl is being tortured
Work fast... WHENEVER I SEE TWILIGHT, I THINK "Gtfo....insect."
1391976 Delay? As far as I can tell, that's two in one day. Double-Pinkie Madness!!
Yeah, 'bizarre coincidence' is probably the least existentially-worrying way to explain FiM to ponies.
Man. I wish I had the money to buy the Mane 6 in toy form....
The "fun" part is, after the switch back, is Allen done with Equestria, or will Pinkie drop in every now and then for a get-together/prank-fest?
You know how it goes: Once you and Equestria meet, something keeps pulling you back together. Kinda like cosmic-string rubber-bands coated with universal glue. Or something like that...
Poor Cinnamon
I like it when I start a story, read it all in one go, and I only have a small wait for the end, it's so good!
Anyhoo, this story is hilarious at times, it really cracks me up. You did a very good job of it, especially considering how it came about in the first place. Bravo, darling!
Anyway, there's a flight ahead, and cupcakes to eat, and friends to talk to, so I'm going to concentrate on all that for now. Next stop, Canterlot!
Pinkie Pie...concentrating?
Oh my gosh. Why did I not look at this story before?!
I think this was literally the funniest story I have ever read!
You, sir, deserve a well deserved Internet, or 10, or 100.
Anyway's, will look forward to the ending to it.
awesome work too bad about CS though I will miss him/her hopefully he gets the help that he needs and the six don't forget about him
Shinig Armor + Allen-Twilight Shiptease = We're gonna see some serious hilarity.
This story even has great cliffhangers! Even this chapter of falling action was enjoyable, and I think the tail end of a story is a much better place to deal with teaching ponies what a 'brony' truly entails.
Adorkable- I snicker everytime I see this; 'dork' means something entirely different from 'nerd'/'geek.'
Nice Chinatown references.
Yay! Bonus chapter!
We got his name! All my yus.
Allen is best pony.
Poor Cinnamon Swirl.
Cinnamon Swirl.
I never thought I could feel so much sadness for a non-protagonist OC, but... wow. You managed to get me to feel that way. Congratulations.
...
In an unrelated note: Allons-y, Allen!
1391976
Dude... I PLEAD to you. A sequel story about Cinnamon Swirl dealing with being a filly. It'd be AWESOME.
Loved the Chinatown reference!
Another fab chapter. Really enjoying this!
My brain craves for this story! So very enjoyable, must have MORE!
Lol poor cinnamon swirl
Truthfully...
I kinda wanted him to stay as a filly.
D'awwwwww. /)(^3^)(\
CUTSIE WOOTSIE!!!
Oh wow, we're about to be at the end of the story. But you know what would be nice: After switching back to their original bodies, Allen would spend a true fun week in Ponyville just to have a fun time and getting used to their bodies again before he gets sent back after this (kind of like a summaray, like and then I spent a week in Equestria *and then he proceeds to mention the fun things he did in there*). That would be an awesome compensation after everything they've been through and would be a good way to end the story. That way it would be less sad for Allen when he has to go home at the end of the story.
Great as always. Shining Armor being that sort of older brother was a hoot, and the thing with Cinnamon Swirl's mother was brilliant!
Now for the obligatory spot check:
It's almost a shame to see this about to end... I want more, you sweet author you!
oh i love this! to bad i just started reading near the end of the book
It keeps getting better and better!
And I actually expected Allen's explanation of why he had little brushes of Twilight to go a lot worse. Good save there, Allen.
Poor guy. We shall miss your masculinity.
That is all i cam say...
1392458
Natural 20! Yay!
1392619
A natural 20 for pointing out errors? Okay.
too many randomnessess
Yes, Phineas..........
That description of Twilight makes her too overstated as a character in my book.
1392048
I can seriously forgive you introducing an antagonist and defeating them within the span of 2-3 chapters. This is too dang funny! Consider yourself an inspiration.
Well, that mother decreased the police force by one and is keeping a poison inside his offspring. Why did Terrance tell her exactly?
That guy better get one hell of a Christmas Bonus after all this is over.
The Mane Six took being told as story characters surprisingly well. I guess Allen said all the right things. (Great that I don't have to say "protagonist" anymore.)
Don't forget to hug yourself before this is over, Pinkie! I mean how many times do you get to literally hug your body?
I'm glad i rad this one after work. The First Aid attendants are not equipped to deal with HHHHHNNNNGGGGHHH emergencies.
Never thought I would add "hit on Shining Armor" to my "list of crap to pull if I make it to Equestria".
All I can say is that this story is EPIC!
I mean seriously! How many other stories come out like this?
None! Beacuse Pinkie Pie and ninja skills.
They need to do way instain mother.
Am I really the only one who thought of this
this story is so beautifully silly, and any writing errors you encounter just feel like it's the character talking... or maybe it is because the character is talking and that makes more sense. I honestly can't tell what is intentional and what is accidental, simply because the unintentional would make a good joke, too.
also, Pinkie and "Allen" were pretty funny together. I'm sure if Pinkie's machine still works then Allen will be coming back for a visit at some point.
DEAL WITH IT SWIRL, EMBRACE THIS REALITY AS YOUR OWN!
HYUK HYUK HYUK HYUK HYUK HYUK.
...
I mean
Yeah ...
Poor
little cute and cussing fillyguy