Okay, forget about that.
Seriously. Forget the disguise. I don't know how it happened. I don't care how it happened! I'm just going to leave it alone for the time being, and go with the answer of "It's Pinkie Pie, and I ain't gotta explain shanything."
So, instead of worrying about that disguise, I started talking to the others about what I'd experienced so far. About how I went shopping, my tragic lack of lightbulbs, the whole looking into a mirror thing...
Of course Twilight picked up right away on how I knew so much about them and asked me what was up with that. So, I had to explain a little about television. I explained it as a window that looked into other worlds, which isn't exactly right, but I didn't want to get into a whole discussion about cartoons and such.
I figured it would probably freak them out if I told them that they were make-believe characters in my world. I didn't realize that the thought of aliens potentially watching their every move would freak them out as well. I had to explain that, no, we could only see them... maybe about twenty-two minutes a week, or so, and then only for about twenty-six weeks out of the year. And only when they were doing something interesting. I'm not sure how comforting they found it, really.
Okay, but, seriously. Was I reaching into some sort of inter-dimensional storage space that Pinkie has stocked with disguises? Am I creating matter out of nothing but pure imagination?
They weren't really convinced. Dash's argument that a delusional Pinkie could break a Pinkie promise carried a lot of weight. I didn't despair, though, because they agreed to help me look into it, and to keep out of the hospital.
That the doctor's behavior had definitely been a little odd was something everypony agreed on. They only had my word on the "human" thing, but every pony in the room agreed that him asking everypony but Pinkie's closest friends questions about my behavior was very strange.
Rarity said it best when she said, "It's as if he was looking for just enough evidence to justify the rather flimsy reasoning required to keep you locked up."
Yeah! It was exactly like that! Thanks, Rarity!
And, besides disguises, what else would be in that inter-dimensional storage? Pinkie's diary? An endless supply of pastries? The party cannon?
Of course, they were worried about what happened to Pinkie Pie, if this whole alien thing was true. I assured them that my world was physically pretty safe, no ravening monsters or anything, and that I had enough cash on me to buy food for a while. Assuming Pinkie stayed out of trouble, she would most likely be fine.
They looked as doubtful about that as I felt, and I can't say that I blamed them.
And what about those Groucho glasses? I mean, the fedora I can see, and the trenchcoat isn't too far of a stretch, but why would a pony have glasses that resembled Groucho Marx?
Curse my rebellious brain. I didn't want to think about that!
Anyway, we discussed a course of action and made some plans. At one point, Rainbow Dash took off, flying off to the Everfree. Her job was to stop by Zecora's and see if it was all right for me to stay there for a day or two, to keep me out of town and out of sight until Twilight could write the Princess and get her help in resolving the situation.
And now I had to think about it again! I couldn't just walk through town, I needed to be disguised!
I tried to retrieve my awesome disguise, and I couldn't! I didn't need it before, I was just playing a joke. And now that I actually had to have it, I had no idea how to get a hold of it again!
I briefly considered "tapping into my inner Pinkie" again, but without a desperate need, I really wanted to hold off on doing that. I was still worried that I'd lose myself, somehow!
Besides, are you really acting like Pinkie Pie, or just acting how you think she would act? the little voice in my head asked pointedly.
Good point, voice in my head. Good point, indeed. I'm going to put that right up there on my list of things to try to not think about because it makes my head hurt but I will fail and think about anyway.
Oh, that's another thing. I opted not to tell them about the voice in my head. I wouldn't want to add any more evidence to the "Pinkie is crazy!" pile, would I?
Rarity generously (heheh) offered to get some clothing for me to disguise my very obvious, very pink self. I ended up with a frilly blue dress that covered most of my body, that had a pretty high collar that managed to hide most of my face, at least from the sides, and she topped it off with a hat that looked like a wedding cake gone mad.
Having been a bright pink pony for the last few days meant that my male pride had already given up protesting such indignities a while ago, and it merely whimpered slightly as I put on the fru-fru garments.
"You look divine, darling!" Rarity said, very pleased with herself.
"Thanks, Rarity!" I said. Then, "Ouch!"
I took one step and fell immediately on my face.
"AAAAGH! This psycho dress is eating my legs! Gettitoff, gettitoff, gettitoff!!!" I shrieked, thrashing around in a panic and sending Fluttershy diving behind Applejack for cover.
"Stop! You'll ruin it!" Rarity commanded. I stopped flailing my legs, embarrassed by my reaction. Rarity carefully unwrapped the gown and helped me back on my hooves.
"Sorry," I apologized, shamefaced. "I'm not really used to walking around in dresses."
"You ain't ever worn a dress where you're from?" Applejack asked as Fluttershy cautiously peeked around from behind her.
"Nah. I mean, the females of my species wear dresses, sometimes, but not the males."
"Wait, wait," Twilight said, frowning. "You're not just an alien, you're a boy alien?"
Fluttershy reversed course and slowly hid behind AJ again.
"Um... Yes?"
"Ugh! This is just too weird!" Twilight said, rubbing at her temple with a hoof.
"I know, right?" I said. "Imagine how I feel!"
"I'd rather not," she grumped.
"Well, I wasn't aware that I'd be putting you in drag, but you still look fabulous, darling!" Rarity said, popping up off of the floor.
I wondered briefly what the heck Rarity had been doing down there when I noticed that she'd pinned up the hem of the killer dress a little bit, so that it wouldn't catch so easily on my hooves. Nice!
Rainbow Dash returned shortly after that, and after she recovered from laughing herself into hysterics just from looking at me in that dress, she reported that Zecora would be only too happy to let me stay in her hut for as long as needed.
Yay, I get to go to the creepy forest of doom!
Fluttershy got over her shyness enough to allow me to walk back to her cottage with her, and Rarity accompanied us. To keep us company, she said, but I think it was also to keep an eye on both Fluttershy and the clothes she'd lent me.
Walking through Ponyville in the evening was an interesting experience. Ponies were closing up shop, chatting to one another casually, and generally winding down. It was a different kind of energy than you saw during the day, much more serene.
Fluttershy and Rarity walked on either side of me like a pair of colorful fuzzy bookends while I glanced around excitedly. I won't kid you, even after all that had happened, I was still really excited to be in Ponyville! If I weren't stuck in Pinkie's body being chased by a needle-happy lunatic, I'd be thrilled to just spend days here, wandering around and looking at stuff. It's all so awesome!
"Pinkie, stop that!" Rarity hissed at me suddenly, breaking my pony-zen. "You're drawing attention!"
"Stop what?" I asked, honestly confused.
"You're... um... bouncing," Fluttershy said.
Oh, yeah... whoops! I was totally doing the Pinkie bounce as we walked down the road. That would explain some of the stares, I guess. And the drafty feeling under the dress. And the way the buildings kept going up and down. Way to be subtle, guy!
I concentrated on walking more sedately through town, though I couldn't wipe the grin off of my face.
"You certainly seem happy to be here," Rarity said. "I'm not sure why, it's just the same old Ponyville."
"That's just it, though. It's Ponyville! You have no idea! I mean, I would see this place on TV all the time, but to actually be here, that's so super-incredible I can barely stand it!"
Rarity looked at me like I was crazy.
"It's just Ponyville," she pointed out. "Now, if you were talking about Canterlot..."
I froze in place, thinking Oooh. Canterlot! While I was here I should totally go and see...
Okay, no, I told myself. No getting side-tracked. No going sight-seeing! I had to fix this! Remember the plan! We're on step 3, "Fix everything", remember?
We resumed our trip, and we reached Fluttershy's little cottage thing pretty quickly. And, I don't know what to tell you, guys. It was definitely her cottage, and it looked just like I expected... but... well, it kind of smelled bad! Like a barnyard, even though I'd never been in a barnyard, so I don't really know what it smells like. But I imagine that it would smell a lot like this!
"It's... lovely," I said, trying not to gag at the smell of all the animals, who were apparently doing their animal business all over the well-fertilized yard.
Mental note: Step cautiously in this vicinity!
"Thank you," Fluttershy said with a smile.
Okay, it was worth smelling that just to see that smile. It was so... I dunno. Heartwarming. I just wanted to hug her. I wanted to retch at the smell. I wanted to get inside, because it hopefully smelled less terrible in there!
So, we went inside, which indeed smelled a lot better, though the smell of animal fur and feathers was just as strong. Hey, I just realized! Pinkie Pie doesn't have any allergies! If that had been my human body, I'd have been lying on the floor with my eyes swollen shut, gasping for breath!
Of course, if I were in my human body, I'd probably be back home, and I wouldn't have to worry about it.
There were tons of animals all hanging around in Fluttershy's cottage, peeking out of little birdhouses and dens and holes in the walls and such. It seemed they were shy of visitors. I saw all sorts of animals, some I didn't even recognize (hey, I'm not a nature guy! I even hate camping!). Why, Fluttershy even had a tiny little alligator! Just like... hey, wait a minute...
"Gummy!" I said, truly happy. I trotted over to him and tried to pet him, and he bit me on the leg. "You took him?" I asked Fluttershy.
"Oh, um... Yes." she said, looking down and tracing her hoof in circles on the floor. "I hope that's okay?"
"Of course it's okay!" I told her. "I was so super worried about him! Thank you for taking care of him while I was... well, locked up."
"Oh, it's no bother," she said, smiling again.
D'aww!
"Here, let's get you out of that dress," Rarity said, levitating Gummy off of my leg.
"Why, Rarity! So forward!" I said, fluttering my eyes at her.
She stopped, looking surprised, and then glared at me.
"Stop that," she commanded. And then she used her telekinesis to start removing the frilly thing.
"Oh no!" I play-shrieked. "You mustn't! No, not here, not in front of Fluttershy! Rarity! Bad touch! Eeeek! Not the petticoats, too? Ah, you don't need to be so aggressive! Think of all the little innocent animals, forced to watch!"
Through it all, Rarity's face just turned deeper and deeper shades of red, though I'm sure that was more in anger than embarrassment. Fluttershy was... actually giggling a little. Yay! I made Fluttershy laugh! Totally worth the telekinetic swat Rarity gave me once she got me out of the dress.
"Can I keep the hat?" I asked, pointing at that ridiculous white thing still perched on my head. Rarity lifted if off without a word. "Aww..."
"Honestly, I feel like the only sane pony sometimes," Rarity said grumpily, though I think I caught the quirk of a hidden smile as she turned away to put the hat in the box she'd brought along with us.
Fluttershy gave me a spare set of saddlebags, which she'd stuffed with food and a water bottle. They weren't sending me off into the wilds empty-hooved, which made me very happy! We went back outside, and Fluttershy showed me the path I had to walk.
"Now, if you get going right away, and stick to the path, you should get to Zecora's before the sun completely sets," Fluttershy said. "Are you sure you don't want to spend the night? The forest is much safer in the daylight."
"I'm sure I'll be fine," I said. As much as I adored Fluttershy, spending the night in a zoo sounded... less than fun. "After all, Applebloom goes to visit Zecora all the time, right? And I'm a grown up pony with the mind of a human! I'm absolutely positive I'll be okay!"
She looked doubtful, but gave me a goodbye hug. Rarity did, too, apparently having recovered from the whole dress thing.
"Now, you be careful," she said.
"Don't worry, I'll be just fine!" I told her.
I started walking down the path and ten minutes later I was running for my life from a manticore.
"Aaaaaagh!" I yelled, terrified, running full out.
Something twitched on my body, and I felt the sudden urge to dodge left. I did so, and the manticore plunged to the ground where I had been standing a moment before. Snarling, it shook itself off and charged after me again.
It was really getting dark, now, and the path was getting harder to see. That's probably why I tripped over a root and went sprawling. The manticore growled, and stalked menacingly towards me.
I know what you're probably thinking, because I was thinking it too: If I got Pinkie's body eaten, she'd never forgive me!
It was then that a green cloud of something enveloped the manticore. It yelped, then ran away, leaving my backside thoroughly ungobbled.
"It was a fortunate thing that I came by," said my rescuer. "The ponies would not be happy, if you were to die."
Zecora! Oh, I'd never been so happy to see a zebra in my entire life! She helped me up, I thanked her, and she basically told me "no problem", except in rhyme.
The walk to her hut was, like, the most anti-climactic thing ever, so I won't even bother telling you about it.
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Whoo! Update! I love where this is going! And I reeeeeeeally hope zecora can't send him/her/it back, because that would totally ruin the story! By the looks of things, he will probably have to go to canterlot after all... Hey! Brain wave! Did Discord have anything to do with this? Because that would be amazing! Looking forward to more!
Very nice. Keep up the good work
My reaction at the 'so forward' thing:
ANTI-CLIMATIC THINGS FTW!!!
Poor Rarity, forced to endure a humans sense of humor... but it was hilarious!
YAY
madness.
nice. cant wait for the next chapter
In order:
at the start,
explaining,
when they understand,
at the bouncing,
at the smell and
at making Futtershy smile
Hilarious!
ooh that is funny he/she totally trolled rarity
877456 Good madness all the same.
And I think our hero here is starting to get used to the turbulent hurricane that is Pinkie's brain :V.
877508
Ok let me tell you first thoughts i had when someone replied to my comment.
"If I hear anything about THIS IS PINKIE PIE or something of the like. Someone is going to get (a little) hurt (probably my brothers)"
So you just stopped pain to a degree
And yes. Madness is great and the brain of Pinkie Pie is not a hurricane. It is the 5th dimension. That is why she commands the 4th because she can think in the 5th.
Still laughing.
877523 But the fourth dimension is time. So she breaks time in order to reach out into the Void between worlds?
Pinkie can control time! Wait, that's not a good thing, is it? It explains her absurd speed, at least. And her ability to be anywhere at once. So she Chaos Controls all over the place.
Shadow's got nothing on the party pony :V.
haha! that would be anti-climactic
So I see you couldn't find a way to rhyme something with "problem".
The guy really knows how to push Rarity's buttons.
I wonder what's gonna happen next!?
hurray for update
twilight.ponychan.net/chan/science/src/131796182599.gif
/\ Pretty much sums up how I felt when I saw this updated
877523
I've got some bad news for you: The 5th Dimension (a href=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_5th_Dimension) is an old band from the 1960s...
Yes, I know, but Reality has to get to say its lines every now and then...
"Oh, Rarity!"
"Stop that right now."
"Problem, officer?"
Man, what an epic trolling.
Let's hope this gets solved before someone decides he wants to be Pinkie Pie.
As my gaming group's GM tends to say, "Could be good. Could be liches."
You've got a major case of 'Show and not tell' here.
877619
You failed that link eeply sir(and my D button is pretty ea by now)
Also let me counter you argument:
Air- Air we breathe for the longer time
Air- a way to compose music
Things have different meanings so eh I am not surprised that 5th Dimension was a bit taken.
oesnt change the fact that Pinkie Pie controls it all ( Dimension 1,2,3,4,5 etc and walls up to the 5th. But the 5th wall our feeble mortal minds cant comprehend)
This was awesome! I can't remember anything to criticize, so that means you did a really good job. Congratulations!
1.bp.blogspot.com/-SOva_VBW9Gw/TwQKv_RbldI/AAAAAAAAA44/7_IxYH-ikno/s1600/trophies2.jpg
877650
I still haven't quite got the hang of the HTML works.
You can't simply replace one character set with another and expect it to go right.
As for the rest, "It's Pinkie Pie" is enough explanation for me; anything more will have me wanting cupcakes.
Not a good idea...
873997
Like any medication, relief is only temporary.
"Just thought you'd like to know."
awesome!
Hey,
Awesome. A tour de force.
JMH
Is anyone else trying to think of a way to get him outa Pinkie's head? Just me?
877535 4th wall not 4th dimension.
Can't say I'd ever considered how Fluttershy's home would smell before. She probably stinks all the time. Just so bad.
877746
I spoke of the 5th dimension so he went to the correct spot actually.
877680
Well you COULD just press the Link button on the comment section (to left of picture and right of color) while highlighting the words to make THIS happen
That should be working eh.
Glad that everything is going completely well for the dude and he'll eventually ended up finding his way home soon. I guess now he needs to learn how to stay with Zecora hopefully it will be a restful stay in there compared to being trapped in that hospital, although I have to worry about that doctor showing up at Zecora's door one day instead of Pinkie's friends, luckily the Pinkie sense will warn him about that right? I also have a feeling that this doctor may be one of those career obssessed ones that are thinking "If I can cure this Pinkie Pie of her madness or figure her out, I'll be famous!"
This was my face when she was being chased by a Manticore.
What do I think of this story?
To sum it up into one word:
Superepicwellwrittenbeststoryever
New word. Webster, update your dictionaries.
Defenition: Word used to describe the "Why am I Pinkie Pie" fanfic.
This is some really funny stuff. Do go on
Hrm, I'm still slightly convinced this human is a party-goer and cheer-everyone-up kind of person himself. Well, he'd get more into the spirit of that if he remembered himself a bit more clearer, but still...
About the disguise though, I'm pretty sure Pinkie keeps it in her closet and she just pulls it out from there. What? You have to be right next to the closet to pull things out of it? Yeah, sure. If you like moving in the boring Newtonian way!
877679 Is that a graphic list of the most prestigious awards?
Still can't think of what to say or do get the ponies to believe you're human hm?
awwyeah!
"I started walking down the path and ten minutes later I was running for my life from a manticore."
What a transition.
I will say that this chapter put a huge grin on my face, so thanks for brightening my morning Hoopy.
Dialog... This will be hard to read out loud.
Not sure if I should even try to act out everyponys' voices.
Probably will try though.
877983
Yes, got it off Google so I only know there's the Nobel and other such things on the list.
877778
I'll figure it out. (looks up, mouse-over on button) Oh, I see.
877679
Why am I reminded of the Monty Python skit that featured "The Award for the Most Awards Award"?
Let's see, there's a Hugo, Emmy, the Stanley Cup, the Vince Lombardi Trophy, an Oscar, the Heisman, a Grammy...
The rest escape me, but I'm sure they apply ... somehow.
878221
Pinkie Pie told me this story deserved the best award we could give, so now I must give it this:
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