And I bet you'd like to know how it happened, huh? Okay, well strap yourselves in... because this is going to be a thrill ride!
Or, maybe not, I don't know. It was exciting to me, at least!
I knew a little bit more about what was going on, now. Yes, I'd somehow inherited some of Pinkie's personality quirks along with her body, but I wasn't Pinkie Pie. I was definitely... whatever my actual name was. This whole thing had been done to me, possibly by that doctor pony, possibly by somepony else. And I had to find out who, how and why!
In order to do that, I needed allies. And, lucky for me, Pinkie Pie came with a whole passel of allies! Un-lucky for me, three of them were probably currently convinced that I was totally fruit-loops. That left Rarity and Fluttershy as the ponies most likely to listen to me before trying to turn me over to the authorities.
The little voice in my head suggested that I start with Fluttershy. She did seem like the most likely candidate to be my first ally, and not just because she shared the same voice-actress as Pinkie. The main problem with that is... well, I have no idea where Fluttershy's house is in relation to Ponyville! Heck, I don't know where the hospital is in relation to Ponyville!
But all of that was for later. For now... I had to get the heck out of this room! But I had no idea how I was going to do that.
Pinkie Pie would be able to get out, I knew. She'd do some wacky thing, like simply pop through the wall, or talk in circles around an orderly, or some similar crazyness to get out. But I wasn't really Pinkie Pie, and I couldn't do those things.
But... maybe I could. Maybe all I had to do was, somehow, tap into my own inner Pinkie Pie.
So, I meditated. I thought about parties. I thought about happiness, and joy, and laughter. I thought of my friends back home, and Pinkie's friends here. Cake and ice cream, parties with balloons and fun games... I didn't realize it at the time (because I had my eyes closed), but Pinkie's mane and tail were slowly curling back up as I sat there, deep in thought.
And then, suddenly, I had a plan. And the first step was to get out of this straight jacket!
It turns out that Pinkie's body actually has incredible flexibility. It's almost like she's made out of taffy, or something. There was some rolling around on the floor, a few choice curse words, a Pinkie Pie version of the Sweetie Belle scoot, and some frantic wriggling, but I finally got that darned thing off. Harry Houdini's got nothing on me!
The next part of my plan was fairly easy. I just needed to gather a few simple items. It didn't take me long to get a small pile of lint and pluck a few stray hairs from my now-poofy tail, and I was looking around for a Bunsen burner when I heard the keys rattling in the lock of my door.
Oh no! I was nowhere near ready! I still had to find a pumpkin, three candles, a jar of pickle juice and a propeller beanie!
The orderly opened the door, carrying my dinner on a tray in his mouth. He didn't notice me, at first. So, I decided to improvise!
"Plan B!" I shouted, jumping at him. He dropped the tray in shock, and I wrapped the straight jacket around his head. He pawed at it frantically to get it off, and when he finally did, I shoved a hoof-full of my dinner into his mouth.
I stared at him, filled with regret as he lay there on the floor of the room. He twitched slightly while he gurgled on the terrible taste of mashed peas.
"I'm so sorry," I told him, sadly. "But better you than me."
I left the room, closing the door softly behind me. Operation: Get Out of the Loony Bin was on! Any plan that succeeds is a good plan, and all that!
Of course, the next step was to get out of the hospital. Barking-dog pony barked at me as I walked past her room, but since she barked pretty often, I wasn't too worried about her giving me away.
I slipped into a nearby stairwell, hoping to make my way down to the first floor without being noticed. I'd just started my descent when my tail started twitching like crazy. That distracted me enough that I stumbled, tumbling head-over-hooves down the stairs.
Et tu, Pinkie Sense? Darned self-fulfilling mystic senses!
I was lucky that my fall was broken by something soft at the bottom of the stairs, something that went "Oof!" I got up to my hooves and looked down to see Doctor McLiar-Pants himself lying in a crumpled heap!
"Miss Pie?" he asked, woozily. I didn't give him a chance for a follow-up, running off while he was still dazed, my freaky earth-pony speed getting me quickly out of range of his even freakier unicorn-pony magic. Still, it wasn't long before I heard him raising the alarm behind me.
Not good! And definitely not part of the plan! I mean, the original plan was simple:
1. Get out of the room
2. Get out of the hospital
3. Fix everything
4. Go home
Being chased by orderlies wasn't part of the plan. Maybe I could add it in there, like a task 1b: get chased by orderlies, but then I'd have to figure out how to make room on the list. Which was in my head, so maybe it wouldn't be that hard, after all. Wait, why was I worrying about this now? I had other things to do!
Like, getting away from these orderlies!
Three days in a tiny room hadn't done much to hurt Pinkie's incredible speed, so I poured it on and pulled steadily ahead of my pursuers. I made it out the front doors and into the the early evening light outside, with the sun just beginning its descent. I saw Ponyville off in the distance, so I shifted into overdrive and left a dust trail behind me as I ran.
I heard various shouts of "There she is!" and "Get her!" and "Do we get paid extra for this?" coming from behind me as I reached the outskirts of town. I started walking as I passed the first buildings in Ponyville, because the last thing I wanted was a lot of attention.
I was still smiling, but this one was an honest and happy smile, compared to the admittedly freaky one I had on my face when I was chasing after poor Dashie. Ponies smiled back at me as I walked sedately through the town. Some even waved! Either these ponies have short memories, or nopony had told them that I was supposed to be crazy. Which seemed downright odd, to me.
Once I was a block or so in, I quickly dodged into a side alley and hid behind a convenient rain-barrel. The orderlies, along with Doctor Needles himself, all came running up and milled around in confusion, trying to figure out where I had gone. I had to put a hoof over my mouth to stop from giggling at the confused expressions on their faces!
Then I had a burst of inspiration for a little prank. I quickly slapped a fedora on my head, and then pulled on a trenchcoat and slid a pair of Groucho glasses onto my face. Once I was suitably disguised, I stepped out next to the confused hospital staff.
"There she goes!" I cried, deepening my voice and trying to sound gruff. "Quick, she's getting away!"
The hospital ponies looked at me, startled, and then the doctor shouted, "Get her!"
And then they all ran off in the direction I'd pointed.
Oh, it was so funny! I fell on my back, kicking my legs in the air and laughing so hard I got the hiccups!
Giggling, and occasionally hiccuping, I continued on through Ponyville. I figured that the orderlies and Doctor Creepyface would be looking for me here in town, so the sooner I got out of here, the better. Then I could look for Fluttershy's cottage! What I hadn't planned on was getting lost again, since I was still pretty unfamiliar with Ponyville.
Just as I was getting ready to start grumbling in frustration, I saw Fluttershy herself slowly walking though town. What luck! It was almost as if I had someone looking out for me, making sure things would go my way!
So, I got all stealthy-like and started following her. I mean, I didn't want to confront her in the middle of Ponyville, she might panic and call attention to us. My thought at the time was that I'd wait until she left town, then I'd follow her back to her cottage. At that point, I'd try to talk to her about what had happened.
If I could get Fluttershy on my side, then she could help me convince the others. One at a time, I'd convert all of Pinkie's friends to my side, and then we'd go take on the bad guy! Whoever that was!
I thought Fluttershy was shopping, but she was actually just walking through town. I kept my disguise on, following her stealthily. I hid behind a mailbox, on top of a light post, behind a wagon, and underneath a familiar brown earth-pony with a spiky mane and an hourglass cutie mark.
"Um, excuse me?" he said, giving me a startled look.
"Not now, Doctor!" I told him. "I'm trying to be all ninja-like!"
"Uh, I'm not a doctor. My name is Ti-"
"Ap-bap-bap-bap!" I said, sticking a hoof on his muzzle. "If your name isn't 'The Doctor', I don't wanna know about it!"
Grumbling, he moved off, leaving me without cover. So I dove into a large potted plant.
That's when I recognized the neighborhood. Sure enough, Fluttershy was walking up to the tree-brary that I'd had such a hard time finding on my first day here!
I approached the library myself and crept along the side of the wall until I reached a handy window. I peeked briefly through the window, and I saw the Mane 6 minus one all standing inside. The newly-arrived Fluttershy was being given a cup of tea by a smiling Rarity, while Applejack stood frowning off to one side. Rainbow Dash was hovering near the ceiling, her forearms crossed over her chest, and Twilight Sparkle was saying something.
I pressed my ear up against the glass and listened in.
"...even matter either way, is all I'm saying," Twilight Sparkle was saying. "Also, the fact that they won't even let us see her is... well, it's weird! And this thing about interrupting her therapy, well, that makes no sense!"
"Regardless of what she did, it's obvious that they are overreacting," Rarity said.
"I'm really worried about her," Fluttershy said. "Locked up in there, all alone..."
The sensitive pegasus started to cry, and Rarity patted her gently on the back.
I wondered briefly who it was they were talking about. Sounded like somepony was in trouble!
"We just gotta bust her out of there," Rainbow Dash said. "I mean, yeah, she freaked me out, but she's my friend, and I'm not going to just leave her in there!"
"Ah'm worried about this 'alien' thing," Applejack said, frowning. "If she really believes it and it ain't true, then okay, she needs some help. But if it is true, then what happened to Pinkie Pie? We need answers, and they ain't giving us any."
They were talking about Pinkie? Oh, that's me! Well, sort of...
"We can't just go rushing in there, though," Twilight said, frowning. "There are rules and procedures for a reason. Let me write to the Princess, I'm sure she can help us."
"It's been three days. We don't have time for red tape!" Rainbow asserted. "Let's just rush in there, clobber anypony who tries to stop us, and get to the bottom of this!"
"You rock, Dashie!"
"Hey, who said that?"
Oh, whoops. Was that out loud? I whipped off my disguise and popped my head up to see everypony looking at me with expressions ranging from confused to even more confused.
"Hi, everypony!" I said, waving. "Guess who busted out of the hospital?"
A strange and hectic few seconds passed as I was hustled into the library and plopped down into a chair.
"Pinkie Pie! How did you get here?" Twilight said.
"Like a sneaky ninja!" I replied.
"No, I mean... Nevermind," the unicorn said, giving me her 'dealing with Pinkie Pie' look. "Look, first of all... Are you okay?"
"Yah-huh, I sure am, Twilight!"
"That's good. And... are you still claiming that you're an alien?"
"Yup! Though, I know it sounds crazy."
Twilight sighed, and rubbed her temple with a hoof.
"There has to be a way to figure out if she's lost it, or if she's telling the truth," Rainbow Dash said.
"I agree that this is a bit of a conundrum," Rarity said, breaking out the big words. "However, after all we've been through, it's definitely possible that this is true. Remember Discord?"
"I really am telling the truth, you guys! I Pinkie Promise!"
"Yeah, but if you're crazy, you could think you're an alien without actually lying!" Rainbow Dash pointed out. Which was surprisingly astute for her. Must be all the reading she's been doing.
"Oooh, good point, Dashie. But I know I'm not crazy!"
"Please stop using the word 'crazy'," Twilight said, sounding irritated. "I'm going to examine you, Pinkie Pie, or whatever your name is. Is that okay?"
"Sure thing. And Twilight?"
"Yes?"
"Thanks for being willing to try and believe me, even if you're still not sure," I said, smiling happily. Twilight hesitated a moment, and then smiled back.
Then she tapped me lightly on the head with her horn, and this purple glow surrounded me, which was all tingly! After a minute or two of that, Twilight stepped back and looked at me, all thoughtful-like.
"Well?" Rainbow demanded. "Is she an alien or just cra... er... nuts?"
"'Nuts' isn't any better than 'crazy', Rainbow Dash," Twilight pointed out. "And... I'm not sure. It feels like something is off, but... I can't tell what it is."
"She sure seems to act like our Pinkie Pie," Applejack said, doubtfully. "Ah ain't sayin' it ain't true, Ah just thought an alien would act... well, different."
"I may be an alien, but I'm still using Pinkie's brain," I pointed out. At least, that was the conclusion I'd come to, for why I was acting the way I was.
Twilight flinched at the thought, and Rarity murmured a brief consolation. Fluttershy gasped in apparent horror, covering her mouth with a hoof.
Rainbow, however, just laughed.
"How's that working out for ya?" she asked, snickering.
"Eh, it's interesting, at least." I said. "Look, why don't I just tell you my story? Maybe that will answer some questions."
Eveypony agreed that this was an excellent idea. I asked Twilight for some snacks before I began, eliciting shudders of horror from the other ponies as I briefly described the food I'd been eating for the last few days. Before I knew it, I had a plate full of cookies, a couple slices of cake, a loaf of crispy bread, and a large salad all sitting in front of me.
About twenty seconds later, I leaned back with a happy sigh, patting my now-full tummy in satisfaction.
"She eats like Pinkie, too," Rainbow Dash said, looking at the empty plates in front of me with something resembling awe.
I grinned at her, and I began to tell my story, starting with...
Hey. Wait a minute. I just realized, where did that disguise come from?!
Sorry for the delay on this one, I was busily typing away at the next couple chapters of my other story.
Man, over 500 comments! Sorry I haven't really had time to go through them. I'll try to get to that tonight, and reply to the ones that seem to need it. I'm not ignoring you guys, I've just been busy!
Thanks again for reading
First. Sort of! Hilarious new chapter :D Love this story man
The human thinks like Pinkie Pie rather well. Not often you get a story were you get first person escape from hospital Pinkie style.
Heh. Time Turner. I actually like that name.
Anyways, 'twas a great chapter! I look forward to seeing more.
Thanks for updates period no matter how long it may or may not take you to add them. Love the story and can't wait to see more.
Took you long enough, nameless-main-character!
Interestinger and interestinger. Can't wait to see what happens next.
Most epic line so far!
This story is full of so much win
Last line was perfect.
"where did that disguise come from?!"
Well, that's the question to end all question, isn't it?
This is awesome in more ways then I care to describe.
MORE! MORE!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! GLORIOUS!!! =D
I wonder what the real Pinkie is doing
This story just makes me Smile
Oh man these chapters brighten up my day (yay pun :D) can't wait to see what happens next
i still prefer Time Turner being the Doctor, like how he uses John Smith as his human alias Time Turner would be his pony alias. Your story though :D
ok this is the third story that updated just as i was going to log off
I like where this is going.
I ALSO WANT MORE :D
well now they are getting somewhere and i am seriously worried about the possiblity of pinkie pie being in a random male humans body and the effects that could have on her thought process
Of all the Equestrias the main character to be stuck in he had to pick the one WITHOUT the doctor! At least colgate is still an option.
868162
Causing the Party pony Apocalypse on Earth.
I'm currently typing this inside my Fallout bunker in the middle off Nowhere, Kansas. Wait. How am I getting a Wi-Fi signal- OH SHI-
Where did that disguise come from? I know where.
ih3.redbubble.net/image.10512602.9758/fc,220x200,navy.jpg
BTW, quick typo I found:
"...trying to see figure out where I had gone." Don't think that see shoud be there.
Keep it up.
I'm actually hoping there will be a crazy twist at the end! But please continue this master piece!
Hurry up and finish you're next chapter or else.
Nah i'm messing with you. Iv'e never been this excited for a fan fic in my life.
I loved the great escape. Was very much Pinky Pie style! All that meditation on parties, pranks, and laughter really did the trick.
I'm in no hurry to see what's been happening to the other half of the swap. They probably just went to Bronycon and fit in so well that nobody figured there was a problem.
I'm loving this story so so very much.
Awesome chapter, keep up the great work!!
Why does reading this make the prospect of being Pinkie Pie sound really really appealing?
Lol. "Pinkie how'd you get here?" "Like a sneaky ninja!" Sneaky ninja Pinkie ftw
Ah yes, another update. I am pleased. Do go on
Also, that last line was awesome.
One emoticon:
Sums up my entire feelings right now.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKIIIIIIIIIIIINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG CLIFFFFFFFFFFFFFSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
Also this cuz it's funny.
29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkckfapTUw1qihokno1_500.jpg
Hey. Wait a minute. I just realized, where did that disguise come from?!
Oh, sure, now you ask.
I suddenly have this image of a Disney-esque waiting line for people who want - or don't, or don't care - to be Pinkie Pie for a short time, but nobody knows where the line actually starts.
Taking someone's ideas and calling it your own.
i.imgur.com/aZjli.gif
HAAAAAMEEEEER SPAAAAACE!!!
First page of comments, selected replies. There's just so many! If I didn't reply to yours, it wasn't because I was ignoring it, it was because I couldn't think of something to say
Also, if you asked a question and I missed it, please let me know!
820713
This is impressive. Also, I am very honored.
Please, accept this single Rainbow-looking-awesome in return:
822292
It happens with alarming frequency
825100
Hah, tell me about it! I've been working on Sunflower for half a year now, and this thing comes along and out-does it in a few days
Not that I'm complaining, it's just surprising!
826159
Because you guys double-dip your chips and you always try to spike the punch! It's not fair, he's just a baby dragon!
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I'm going to go and pretend that this idea isn't about ten times more awesome than mine.
Yup. I'm just sittin' over here, pretending.
825173
Nice!
I want to be PINKIE PIE! also this story is super radical man!
Well done chapter, once again. Looking forward to more. *Goes to read 20 chapters he needs to catch up on other stories.*(Not even exaggerating)
there is just something that is bothering me slightly about pinkie pie being in a human body and i am unsure what that might be
wait a minute I know what it is since this person is in pinkie pies body then the body that pinkie pie is must be yours. you are pinkie pies conciousness and you are relaying the messages of your vessals consiousness through some kind of fourth wall connection thingy. I am on to you now so please keep us informed on our fellow brony's trip to equestria I hope everything turns out okay
Second page of comments, selected replies. Same as last post!
827477
That thought had me shuddering in horror that whole episode
827671
Nothing! Nothing is wrong with you!
827700
It's a nice distraction. Sunflower has been getting pretty serious, recently, and I've missed being silly. Perhaps all my silliness built up inside of me and then exploded out, turning into this... thing
830151
Would I really be that mean?
830333
That...
...is disturbingly plausible, actually.
830338
Oh, I read that, it was really good. Petriculture, I think? Actually, I think the sequel to that is what knocked this story off out of the featured box
830417
YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTH...
I mean, that is so not true.
830369
That's pretty good, had me laughing. And a lot more concise than what I put out there.
HIPP: "Oh stop that you freakin' lizard! SHE'S NOT A GOD! She's a freakin' LIGHT SWITCH with hooves!"
831498
Sorry, I can't accept souls. No market for them these days, and it's impossible to make change. Though, if you have any old newspapers or rusty nails, we can probably work something out.
832074
It could just be a regional thing. Typically, it's frowned upon around here
832117
Believe me, my inner editor flinches in agony every time I start a sentence that way
No need to ask about that right now, save it for after you tell them the summary of your story, which is you went to Target to get some light-bulbs when all of a sudden you see Pinkie Pie in the mirror, blinked you're staring back at yourself at lower body, and then you dissappear from the reflection again. I was about to suggest going to Celestia as your last resort if Pinkie's friends didn't believe you, glad they cared about her more than trying to "make her sane." I guess the next thing to do is ask about the experiment that Twilight was doing before you start figuring out on how to switch back with Pinkie Pie. Though I wonder how they would react that you're a guy in a mare's body though.
__________________________
This story is just as exciting as Anthropology, it makes me wonder how and when does he have the time to talk to us and wonder if it's like "saving his game" or something. Keep up the great work, I can't wait until the next chapter.
Oh me oh my. I send a whisper through the fourth wall, and she has the same thought. Or he.
The aethereal tendril extended once more, giddy with excitement. "Hey! I don't know if you heard me, exactly, but I think you should mention that you're scared you're devolving into Pinkie. And perhaps you should ask Twilight to hide you in the basement. True, Pinkie's body would not be very well entertained in there, dangerous, but there should be sciencey stuff. Fiddle with that using your Pinkie brain. Also, inform her about shipping at random intervals, a perfect Pinkie prank to let out Pinkie energy." The tendril whisked back quietly.
Really enjoying this! Great stuff!
Looking forward to the next chapter
Third page of comment replies...
832254
I AM GOING TO ASK YOU SOME QUESTIONS IN HOWEVER LONG IT TAKES FOR YOU TO READ THIS!!READY???!!!!
Do I have a choice?
Is Twilight really your favorite pony
If you mean me, the writer, then yes. But that's only by a narrow margin.
Basically, my favorite pony is whoever is on screen at the moment
If you mean the guy in the story, then I'm taking his word for it
What is a Tangent or however you spell it
A tangent, at least in dialogue, is when you start talking about one thing, but before you get to the point, you suddenly start talking about something else.
why do you write fics
I like it. Why do I like it? Not sure why
are you exited this got featured
Yes! And very, very surprised!
how do you write good stories
If I ever find out, I'll tell you
I don't really consider myself a good writer (many people who read my stuff would agree with that). There are much better writers than me, even just looking at FIMFiction.
are you always this random
If I was always this random, it wouldn't be random!
833614
Magic!
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You're one up on me, then, because I don't
836781
Sometimes people think the same way! Sorry I got to this idea before you did, but you shouldn't let that stop you from writing your own take on it
837392
Morgan Freeman voice: "I must admit, I didn't think much of Pinkie Pie the first time I set eyes on her..."
Bwahahaha!
You do a great Pinky! Who isn't Pinky, but she is the brain, does that mean shes both Pinky and the Brain?
ANYWAY! Save Pinky and the Brain from the crazy brain-washers! This sorta reminds me of Inception... I think? Might be getting my movies confused. ANYWAY! SAVE PINKYS BRAIN!
I wan wondering how long it would take him/her to realize what (s)he did, as a prank I might add, a spontaneous one at that. His/Her list of items for plan a of the escape plan made me lose focus for a second and try to come up with a way to escape with them... I got to three and a half plans before I realized what i was doing! YAY IMAGINATION!
This is ungodly entertaining. Faved.
Fourth page of comment replies...
837444
The whole "let's go downtown and sort this thing out" thing was just to get him to relax. They were going to go for the grab regardless
837460
Hmm. He was going to go hide at Fluttershy's, it's possible at least part of your message got through
837669
I actually have a lot of respect for doctors, including psychiatrists. For the most part, I believe they truly want to help people.
Sadly, it's because they're in a position of such power that they're often painted in a bad light.
Still, I meant no offense, so if any was caused, I apologize.
837727
I'm a huge fan of DBZ abridged, I had to throw that in there
837745
Oh. I knew there was a thing I used to call them when I was a kid, I just forgot!
837789
I've got this week's chapter ready to go, I just want to let it rest a day or two so I can polish it up a bit more before publishing it
837805
I've got that one in my favorites, I think, but I haven't read it yet. So, I can't really say how similar they are
837877
I haven't read that one, either
838149
That's brilliant
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I would totally watch that movie. Shawshank was one of my all-time favorites.
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I am truly sorry that I disappointed you, and thank you for reading as much as you did. No sarcasm or irony is intended in this reply, I really mean it.
On to page 5 of replies...
"So since you're someone else, do you think you can explain how you get stuff out of nowhere," Twilight asked, curiosity filling her eyes.
"I don't know," I admitted, getting up to do a demonstration. "I just put my hoof behind somewhere where no pony is looking at said hoof and... ta-da, I just pulled out this ball from my--Pinkie's room!"
Twilight stared while constantly blinking. "Are you implying that you just need to want something to get it?"
"Well," I droned on, trying to find the best way to continue. I wasn't sure of the answer myself, but meditating in that cell seemed to have given me a clearer view of what it means to be Pinkie. Only a few words come to mind, "yeah. Well, I mean I have to know where the object is first too. If I know that and want it, then I can get it. There's probably a lot more to it than that, but that's the simplest answer I can give." Huh, I guess I had more than just a few words. I'm pretty sure that was mostly me talking though. Ugh, did I pick up her rambling as a habit now?
Almost as fast as Pinkie herself, Twilight levitated a quill and parchment as she summarized everything I said. "This is amazing! Do you think you can figure out everything else about Pinkie like her Pinkie Sense?"
"Uh, let's save the interrogation for another time. I hardly understand her myself, and I'm the one in her body!"
-------------------
What? I had to get that mock conversation off my chest. It was just too tempting to not write down for everyone. Don't judge me!
Anyway, yes, I love this chapter and love the doctor got what was coming to him. Screw you, Needles!
Also, I love the gag you did with Pinkie's Twitching Tail. That was like a self-fulfilling prophecy; it wouldn't have happened if the tail never twitched. Then again, it did save him from Needles, so maybe the tail did that loophole to save our protagonist! Hooray for a body that likes to work with you and not against you (for the most part)!
Whooo another update! We are cosmic friends forever, okay?