“Fluttershy!” Twilight knocked on the door for what was probably the fiftieth time. “Fluttershy, come on out!”
The door opened revealing Angel, who simply glared at Twilight, thumping his foot on the floor.
“Angel, may I please speak to-“ Angel slammed the door in her face. “Fluttershy!” Twilight called. “Please come out!”
There was silence, and then Fluttershy’s voice behind the door. “Twilight, please not now!”
“Fluttershy, please? I’m sorry!”
Slowly, the door opened, just a crack. The room was dark, and Twilight could just barely see Fluttershy. “What is it?” the butter colored Pegasus asked, voice wavering.
“I’m sorry, Fluttershy. I really am, and I don’t know what I can do to make it better… Please, may I come in?” Fluttershy slowly moved out of the way and pulled the door open, hiding behind it. The yellow Pegasus watched the pretty purple unicorn walk in and gently shut the door behind her, brushing away a tear. The room was surprisingly dim, Twilight noticed. “Why is it so dark in here?” she asked, turning to Fluttershy.
“Oh! Um… no reason, I just… I don’t feel well today.”
All too familiar with this excuse, Twilight gave Fluttershy a gentle smile, “Fluttershy, it’s okay.”
Fluttershy stared at her hooves. “Um, would you like anything to drink? I have… water.”
“Fluttershy, I just want to talk… about last night,”
Fluttershy turned red as a tomato. Twilight blushed too, thinking back on the kiss.
The silence was deafening.
Fluttershy continued to stare at her own hooves, the blush never fading from her cheeks.
Twilight cleared her throat; “Look Fluttershy, I’m really sorry, about last night, about… about everything.”
Fluttershy swallowed. “No, it’s fine. These things happen,”
Twilight shook her head. “Fluttershy, this isn’t just some misunderstanding we can laugh at and forget, I want it to be but it isn’t. I’m sorry.”
Fluttershy found she had a lump in her throat that refused to go down. She had butterflies in her stomach, and her heart had quickened.
“You’re forgiven…”
Twilight’s breath caught in her throat. Was it really over? Just like that?
“No. No, you can forgive me but you still have feelings for me don’t you.”
Fluttershy turned away, covering her eyes with a hoof.
Twilight went over to the yellow Pegasus and hugged her tightly, “I’m sorry, Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy hugged her back, sighing as she felt Twilight’s heart beating in her chest.
“You smell like Rarity’s shampoo.”
“What?”
“Rarity’s shampoo, are you wearing some?”
Twilight turned red, remembering Rarity’s earlier attempts at seduction. “I went over to Rarity’s to apologize first, but… it didn’t exactly go as planned.”
Fluttershy stiffened. “Are you… alright?”
“I’m fine Fluttershy, I’m just – ugh, I can’t think of a good word.”
Fluttershy pulled herself away from Twilight’s grip, noticing the emotion in Twilight’s eyes.
“Do you need to talk?”
“I just…” Twilight sighed. “This has all happened so quickly! I don’t get it! I don’t understand it, a few cheesy pick-up-lines and everypony’s in love with me!”
She sighed in frustration. “I just don’t get it! I want us all to be friends, but not like this! It’s just - why? And I can only imagine what Rainbow Dash and Applejack are going to be like.”
Fluttershy lowered her eyes. “Well… um… how about… Oh, jeez…”
Twilight sighed, and opened the curtains letting in some light. Fluttershy gently trotted over to her and extended a wing over the unicorns back. “Fluttershy…”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry.”
“No, it was my fault, I mean... oh.” Fluttershy stumbled over her words.
Twilight smiled and nuzzled Fluttershy’s side. “We’re still friends, right? I mean… hopefully this will all blow over, right?”
Fluttershy hung her head. “I don’t know, but… I hope so.”
Twilight suddenly pulled away from the Pegasus. “Sorry, I just…” she trailed off.
Her stomach growled, and she blushed. “Oh, you poor thing,” Fluttershy said. “You must be starving, come on, I’ll make you a nice sandwich,”
“No, it’s fine, I just-“
“Have you even eaten today?”
“No…”
“Oh, that’s simply awful,” Fluttershy flew gently behind her friend and pushed her towards the kitchen. “Well, I am kind of hungry,” Twilight blushed, rubbing the back of her head with a hoof.
“Here,” Fluttershy pulled out the bread and other ingredients, and after a small scuffle with Angel (Who stole the mayo,) Fluttershy handed Twilight the sandwich.
Twilight took it in her levitation, and bit into it. “Yum! Daffodil, my favorite! Thanks, Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy smiled, and eyed her hooves. “Oh, it was nothing.”
“Hey…” Twilight said suddenly, is… what… I feel dizzy.”
“You do? Are you alright?”
“No, I’m fine. I th-think… or… oh boy,” Twilight fell over like a sack of potatoes.
“Twilight! Angel, did you do something to the mayo?!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I didn't mean to make it so short, I swear! It just sort of happened.
Next chapter: Awkwardness, hilarity and feels ensue
Hmm..... I never took Fluttershy do be this type of mare.....
Oh well, hilarity will surely ensue now
Love this story!
heh heh heh, Twilight just got drugged, that's great
:edit:
Daffodil and chloroform sandwich
wow, Angel is evil when he wants to be.
That, or wants Fluttershy to try to take advantage of Twilight when she's knocked out.
....Angel is a pervert.
Drugging the mayonnaise? That's a new one.
1476482 Omg I'm so original
Oh Angel Bunny, you're such a awesome bunny.
Note to self: Add sandwiches to the list of things to not accept from strangers.
Will any of those future feels be in regard to Rarity seducing Twilight without appearing to have any consideration for Spike's inevitable devastation? Because that's a problem many careless authors seem to have.
1476507 yes actually; there's going to be a chapter for Spike and Rarity soon.
I'd totally forgotten about Spike when I started this, but halfway through chapter two I'm like 'Oh, that's right! Rarity actually does like Spike now!'
1476489 Actually that is kind of original.. I have heard of drugging a drink, not the Mayonese
1476532 You, uh ... kinda just implied that Rarity's feelings matter and Spike's don't.
Right blame the rabbit. Lets see here this goes.
1476550 Oh gosh, I didn't mean it that way, I swear! I had temporarily forgotten about Spike, but I don't disregard his feelings
Yay an update. Reads... That is so very much like Fluttershy. Drugging the mayo, that's a whole new world of lols
1476561 That rabbit is evil, I'm telling you.
i1265.photobucket.com/albums/jj503/Quid777/NotSureIfScaredOrExcited.jpg
Always the quiet and meek ones you after to watch over. When they snap, that is when trouble hits!
1476626
Nice.
And to the author: Can we expect shorter wait times between chapters?
1476662 I don't know, I try not to time myself since when I do I tend to procrastinate... but hopefully the next chapter will be soon.
1476662
Well, there were roofies in the mayo... Sodl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Fluttershy_lolface.png
Fluttershy:
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSRuKVoigjoQlNj-wIyg8ZoIofEVHFP6rnWb-o49wIJk9nk-McOgw
Angel Bunny: Here you go Fluttershy, her body is ready!
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQYURnHasZV5oO01eQt8M5ckWXuHySckaIa6ExTTMHKL-taVnMp encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRFnoq95W5LCNIh681u3VSYpt0PnAnGFRZxEcJWjRSMNmyjo2jM
Why didn't I favorite this the first time I read it? Oh well. Found it again, and this time, you get my favorite.
Here's a mustache to apologize for being tardy.
All I could think of was this image
i.qkme.me/4u7m.jpg
1476489
Not only that. I love how you wrote less than thousand words and yet you´ve said more than like others could with two thousands!
>“What is it?” the butter colored Pegasus asked, voice wavering.
For example this, with the sentence before that Shy didn´t want to see Twi now as well as ofc chapter 1, those two words alone got so much emotional impact that it almost worries me.
Like the reader gets already told of what amounts of feelings must go through Shy, feelings of shame, confusion and regret which all gets confirmed/stronger due when Twi enters, Shy wipes away a tear (aaawww) and the purple Unicorn notices that the room´s kinda dark and all.
Or
Fluttershy stiffened.
This.Is.Amazing!
Before that we had the hug, Shy noticing every detail of Twi like her beating heart and probably enjoying it/regreting to enjoy it at the same time thus the sigh, then comes the smell and with Twi´s answer that above.
Just two words. Yet you told the reader countless emotions of all sorts that would have run through Shy in that moment:
Confusion - what exactly happend at Rarity´s house that Twi didn´t wanted to talk about while smelling after her shampoo?
Anger - cause Shy can guess how Twi got that shampoo in her hair and what wet-haired Rarity could have tried to do.
Jealousy - cause Twi went first to Rarity/causeRarity got a bath with Twi/cause Rarity at least tried to seduce Twi but she, Fluttershy, just can hug Twi back/offer her a wing hung and a sandwich and that´s it. (Thank you Angel for drugging the mayo btw, Love really goes through the stomach doesn´t it? XD)
Happiness - cause her beloved Twilight being here in this state means that Rarity´s attempt failed/she was important enough for Twi to come all the way out to her after such a failure (in Twi´s eyes).
Desperation - cause she knows she should have those feelings cause Twilight doesn´t return those, does want back to them times as simple best friends but she can´t fight her feelings she bears in her fluttery heart when being hold in Twi´s arms/front legs (well they are more like arms with hooves with how flexible they are), smelling her scent, feeling her warmth of her body, the softness of her fur and ofc the beating of her heart.
Uneasiness - cause she doesn´t know how to react when hearing that/realizing all those thoughts and feelings at once, the short pause in her question is also an indicator for that.
Etc.
You have the thing with giving the readers suggestions/guesses, making them think all that by themselves, let them feel without telling them what Shy feels. And THAT will be different for every reader. Some will see the stiffen as a sign of fear, of not wanting to hear what exactly didn´t went as planned others as a sign of her love for Twi which grew stronger due Twi´s attention, due her hug, due her not just accepting her apologize but really thinking about her feelings for her. Others like me will see alot of feelings mixed together which will ultimatley leave Shy in confusion but her worries and her kindness for Twi´s well-being will overrule all those and make her take care for her even if it only a sandwich.
Which by the way was very cute descripted as it clearly was shown just how much Shy wanted to be there for Twi, to do something for Twi, to make her feel better and be happier around her cause that will make her happy as well even if she knows that her feelings are one-sided.
How do we see that? Shy pushing, gently but still, pushing Twi to the ktichen and making her a sandwich despite Twi´s early protests. She ACTS like she uses to, with the "poor you"/etc but her actions are much more active/determianted than Shy usually would behave or at least seem that way.
Her Twilight is also wonderfully done for so few words. Her worries, her guilt, her desperation, it all oozes through every sentences of hers. Even her confusion and insecurity gets shown clearly when speaking about Rarity or hugging Shy and nuzzling her but then backing away from her suddenly apolozing as quickly as possible.
How she knows that this can´t be just "forgiven", that there are feelings of Shy for her, feelings she doesn´t want to hurt, feelings all her friends have in some kind/amount and that she all feels horrible for to not return the same way, to worse even be the reason this all happend cause of some cheesy pick-up lines. (Though i´m pretty sure that was just the last drop in the barrel for every girl :P)
How she beats herself up about this, wants to fix it but with all her wisedom doesnt know how, better said, hopes for answers with Rarity/Fluttershy, else she wouldn´t have apologized/went into the house/talked about what happend and how she sees this all/feels about it.
In other words:
Her helplessness is shown as thick and clear as black paint on white ground, but ISN`T explicit written about. No "Twilight felt so helpless she wanted to cry" stick to the face. Which i probably would have used.
All i can say is that many sighs were read in this chapter and each of them had a differnet meaning and weighted a ton in emotions.
Nicely done and i can´t wait for Twi to wake up in Shy´s bed. same for how Shy will go about it and how Twi will react to it.
My personal guess is that due the show implications, you will let Shy offer Twi a massage, given that she´s good enough to give grizzle bears some. A massage to calm down, to let the worries flow and to be at peace with herself. And to touch Twilight all over the place and feel her as closely as possible.
While Twi enjoys and relax through the early massage stages, later Shy´s hooves will move in more sensual ways, she will uses her wings, Twi will relax more and Shy will feel happier than ever and then Twi notices that maybe her buttocks doesn´t really need the attention Shy is giving them since a minute. XDDDDD
She will react like a good Twilight Sparkle who had never a date before and was innocent enough to believe that pick-up lines are used to ask your friends over for a sleep-over (rofl):
She will panic.
She will jump up, leave the room, mabye stop cause Shy calls out to her, hesitate cause she knows leaving her friend in this state won´t help her, will just end up hurting her, hurting like she hurt Rarity when she fled. But in the end she will run away just like she did with Rarity. Writing this down as another failure. To her next friend, more desperate to try to fix this and not only to get back to being just friends with RD/AJ but also finding a way to make it up to Rarity/Fluttershy (which could lead to some interesting plot twists like Twilight accepting the idea of dating her friends to a) make them happy b) as a sort of apologize and atonement and c) to see if she can´t develope feelings for one friend/her friends. C) cause maybe Twi might realizes/believe that as long as she can fell in love with one of her friends, the others will give up and become her old friends with her again.).
Just a thought though.^^
Btw, UPDATE FASTER!!!
You´ve got over 200 views in how long is this up again? 30 minutes? plus you got featured with a 8XX words chapter! Featured after such a long time with so few words with given the minute to views ratio huge % is really something, man.
People were waiting for this to continue, they want to see this continue and you just gave them more drugs, i mean chapters and words to satisfy their need. Also i really wanna see how this gonna end up. I hope for happy ending, mabye a romantical one or a friendship one though i´m fine with a sad/bad/etc ending as long as it´s good and makes sense.
1476619 that is exactly what Elmer Fudd has been saying for years now...
curse you angel...
1476835 Woah, I guess I really can wield Feels.
In all seriousness though, thanks. I didn't actually really notice how the emotion flowed, I tried to make it emotional and I didn't think it was that great, yet from the way people are reacting I guess I nailed it to the wall.
Thanks, and next chapter will be longer I promise!
1476464 Chloroform needs a rag to be placed over someone's nose, Roofies on the other hand are ingested.
Angel likely crushed up a roofie or two and mixed it into the mayo for Twi's sandwhich. (How he got them or where he hides them, I dont know.)
MOAR!!
Not bad. I shall keep up with this!
Can't wait for more. What's in store for poor Twilight?
Drugging the mayo. That is TOTALLY something Angel would do!
1476867 I swear, these wabbits must be rewated.
Oh dear, Oh dear. When twilight wakes up, I'm going to be in soo much trouble...
1476835
Woah, calm down. Don't leave your spoilers everywhere.
This update has taken forever I would have forgotten about the story if didn't track it.
1477272Love the pic, man.
Is Twilight going to end up with one of them in the end? If so, it had better be Rainbow...
Oh angel
1477278 ohh!! Those wascawy wabbits!!
What's up doc?
So, I was on the ropes by the end of Chapter 1, but now, you got me, dood.
You just got a prinny to fav and like your story, dood, bravo!
'Bout time this updated. Been waiting on it forever! //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Twilight_Sparkle.png //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Fluttershy.png
This is updated at last.
Interesting.
1476619I ain't saying his not(cuss it is sure as hell true that he is one little devil contradicting his name)all I'm saying is that there might be more to this than meets the eye.
sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/408661_393479797387751_1440358712_n.jpg
1476451
Fluttershy? no.
Angel? Definitely.
Awwwww angel bunny just want Fluttershy to be happy and he knows she is not assertive enough so he is helping The evil evil bunny why does she care so much for him I think Fluttershy will salvage the situation but oh the chaos that will ensue ... Discord would be proud. Keep on writing I almost forgot about this story hopefully you will update sooner but I understand lacking the time I have the same trouble for my story. Too many games and other stuff I like doing besides writing
....SOO AWESOME iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/132988456850.gif
Feels? Oh boy, this gon b gud.
Oh dear I hope this doesn't end like.....pattycakes
Of course Angel drugged the mayo, Fluttershy certainly wasn't going to and we all know she wanted to.