Twilight and Princess Stuff
Twilight and Princess Stuff
“So how are you holding up Pinkie?”
“Oh, I'm good.” The earth pony smiled. “Except for being under house arrest. And even that wouldn't be too bad, but the Cakes are on vacation, and I've kinda run out of food, so I've just been eating bags of sugar for the past week. Normally I wouldn't mind that, but I think my teeth are starting to melt. Seriously, they've gotten all mushy, kinda like gumdrops, but tooth-flavored gumdrops. Do they even make tooth-flavored gumdrops? I don't think they'd taste very good, I'd still eat them though-”
Twilight shoved a hoof in Pinkie's mouth to stop the mare's rambling (something she instantly regretted considering pony's statement). “That's what I wanted to talk to you about.”
The unicorn removed her hoof, allowing Pinkie to say, “You wanted to talk about tooth-flavored gumdrops? That's really weird Twi.”
“No Pinkie.” The purple mare rolled here eyes. “I wanted to discuss your house arrest. I talked to Princess Celestia, and because of your past services to Equestria she's agreed to overturn the courts ruling. As long as you Pinkie promise to never point your party cannon, or any other party-based artillery, at any living thing (except during combat situations) you're free to go.”
Pinkie wrapped her friend in a crushing hug. “Oh, thank you! Thank you!”
After regaining her breath Twilight said, “How about we celebrate by getting some lunch. We can go to the dentist's office afterwards.”
“Okay, that sounds like fun! But can you do me another favor first?”
Twilight smiled and answered, “Sure Pinkie.”
“Can you answer a question for the fans before we go?”
The unicorn's smile faded slightly. Her friends had told her about the confectioner's odd request, and wasn't particularly surprised that it was her turn now. Realizing that it was pointless to argue, she nodded her assent. Besides, she'd never turn down an opportunity to give a good lecture.
Pinkie's ever present smile grew wider as she vibrated with excitement. “Yay! Okay, you sit here and face the audience.”
Taking a chair and facing the indicated wall, Twilight arched her back and struck her best academician pose. Once she was ready, Pinkie continued, “Okay, so do you have wings? Are you a princess?”
“Uh, yeah.” Twilight ruffled her new appendages and gave the pink pony a curious look. “You were there when it happened remember? You all though you'd killed me with your friendship beam. You girls were trying to destroy any evidence of the crime when I got back. The library still smells like kerosene you know.”
The earth pony chuckled apologetically while here eyes darted back and forth. “It's what our cutie marks were telling us?”
Twilight just sighed and shook her head, she'd be a hypocrite to judge ponies for what they did in a panic.
Pinkie speedily recovered form her embarrassment and continued the interview. “Well, now that you're a princess, and an alicorn, you can tell us all about alicorn princesses!”
“Okay, I'll try.”
“First question! Are you immortal now? Are you gonna continue on unchanged while you're friends slowly wither and die, ravaged by the cruel hand of time?”
Twilight's lip quivered as her eyes misted up slightly, something crossed between a squeak and a sob escaped her lips. After taking a moment to compose herself, she answered, “Um, I don't know. There isn't enough information to answer that yet.”
Pinkie tilted her head in a questioning manner.
“I asked Princess Celestia the same thing, and even she's not sure what my full powers will bring. She said all she knows for sure is that I'm destined for great things, but what those things are are beyond her sight.”
“Hmm, neat.” The party mare replied. “Next question: Is Princess Cadence immortal?”
“No. Well, I don't think so. She's the same age as my brother, and grew up the same way a normal pony does. Celestia and Luna like to be mysterious about their past, but I'd assume ponies with such a long lifespan would mature differently than regular ponies. Kinda like how Spike is still a baby, despite being a teenager in pony years.”
“Was she turned into an alicorn like you were?”
“As far as I know she was born as a trans-tribal unicorn.”
Pinkie gave her friend a blank stare.
“Trans-tribalism is when a pony is born with the qualities of more than one tribe. Most cases involve a foal born with a vestigial horn or wings, which the doctors tend to remove because they are non-functioning. Cadence is a rare case in which both the horn and wings were fully developed. Unfortunately, this means her inherent magic is spread thin between two different appendages. Then again, that's just my assumption, I don't have enough information to give a concrete answer.”
Nodding, the earth pony asked another question, “So, as princess, do you get to have a harem?”
Twilight jolted in shock. “W-what?”
“A harem. Isn't that something royalty gets? Ooh! If you do get one, can I be the eunuch?!”
“Huh-wuh?”
“That's the pony in charge of the harem right? I want that job!”
“Pinkie, do you even know what a harem or eunuchs are?”
“It's like a hoofball team, right?”
Twilight brought her hoof to her face. Motioning for the pink pony to come closer she whispered something into her ear.
Pinkie's eyes grew wider, when Twilight was finished speaking she let out an, “Oooh...
“I don't think I want to be a eunuch anymore.”
“I didn't think you would.”
“I'll totally still be part of your harem though!”
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New chapter!
Last chapter?
good work! cue porky pig
it was fun
thanks for the ride
Well, my response to this is
Ooh! Do a bonus Lyra chapter!
Awesome story. It's pretty funny, and I like how you had a semi-plot (gag?) running through it.
Although, it's over?
Ah well, I hope you do decide to add some bonus chapters later.
Oh gawd, harems and eunuchs!
Oh wow, is it actually over? Aww...
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2079-13258062244328.jpg
Tee hee.
Fluttershy's was the best.
Are Celestia and Luna even immortal? Or are they just very, very long lived?
Because apparently Prince Blueblood is royalty on Celestia's mother's side. Implying that she had/has a mother. I think some of the staff working on the show said something like that...
2224470 id guess on Very, very long lived. but thats just what i think.
Bonuses:
Spike
Pinkie Herself explaining herself
Big Macintosh
Cheerilee
Shining Armor
Cadence
CMC + Babs
Lyra
Derpy/Ditzy Doo (I say the name change could be part of her chapter)
DJ PON-3
Octavia
Bon Bon
Pinkamena
Time Turner/Clockwork/Dr. Whooves
Wonderbolts
if she lives long enough pinkie im sure she will want a harem
I loved this part in particular!
“Uh, yeah.” Twilight ruffled her new appendages and gave the pink pony a curious look. “You were there when it happened remember? You all though you'd killed me with your friendship beam. You girls were trying to destroy any evidence of the crime when I got back. The library still smells like kerosene you know.”
The earth pony chuckled apologetically while here eyes darted back and forth. “It's what our cutie marks were telling us?”
Girls, what the heck were you doing? And if you were going to burn the library down, what about Spike?
"Look, girls, it'll be like this. Spike and Twilight got into a fight. Spike breathed his fire, but not before Twilight mortally wounded him, and..."
And I wonder how many bronies would want to be part of Twilight's harem?
Great story, I love it!
2224576
Me too, especially after I figure out what set of walls they have so I can tap into them while the mares sit around eating grapes, telling racy jokes, brushing each other's manes while taking long luxurious baths and...
I'm being creepy again, aren't I.
Sorry.
I'll go now.
That was my favorite line until Pinkie started talking about harems and eunichs.
After that, every sentence earned a laugh.
One flaw in this chap: Spike is not a teenager in pony years. Twilight was only five or six when she hatched him, and the Element Bearers are in their teen years. And speaking of whom, you forgot Spike's chapter, wtf? It bugs the hell out of me when people fail to realize he's equally important; the show is about friendship, not ponies.
Okay these are the kinds of question that I'm kind of afraid of them more being disproven then the other questions. They could suddenly say that Cadence will live a long time and at the same time she is related to them and that sometimes ponies can be born that way or something. I just hope you won't go changing if it ever happens though.
So it's over.
Well maybe there's hope for the bonus chapters. Just make sure that you mark it as incomplete if you decide to do that.
BUT WHY. WHY IS IT OVER? I JUST FOUND THIS STORY! :apple cry:
I hope these chapters are...awesome.
2224659
Actually according to word of Faust, the mane 6 are all young adults in human years. She never specified just how ponies age but used the excuse that real life horses reach physical maturity in 5 years to explain how the 6 still have immature qualities. How dragons age has also never been explained other than those adolescent dragons we saw in season 2. Therefore it's really up to the writer to decide how to proceed with until we get canon material addressing those concerns.
Forgot an end quote here.
That aside, I am very saddened that this is the last chapter.
You know what you should do? A chapter where a brony or other human actually breaks the "wall" as Pinkie is having a discussion with her friends. That would be awesome.
Great chapter though. Someone breaking the fourth wall would also be interesting!
A very enjoyable series of kicks to the fourth wall's groin. Thank you (and Pinkie) for sharing with us.
Hey, there's a point. Pinkie hasn't told us anything herself, and goodness knows she's got a lot of potential topics to cover. How rock farming works, her peculiar aptitude for festive engineering, how she became aware of her fictional nature...
You've got some explaining to do, missy! At least, if you want to.
Oh, and each new paragraph spoken by the same speaker has to have its own opening quotes at the beginning to indicate that that person is still speaking. Just FYI.
Of Gods, the Goddess of Magic having a harlem, would pay to see that
Poor Pinkie Pie, how the buck is she supposted to chew now? Damn, this chapter was not as funny as before but you did a very good job, loved it
oh that ending!!
2224651
aw come on! where's the pinkie pie explaining phyisics/basic history part
pretty funny though
I found this story very interesting to read. Great job.
Don't ever change, Pinkie.
2225620 I understand my friend
And actually when I said "lazy" I should have said "lazy writing" i.e. the author doesn't want to pick a side on the matter, so he just picks the one that is the least madding for ether side.
2225742 True, but the two are very much intertwined. That's why it's called sexuality.
I really didn't want to start a fight or anything, I just felt that needed to be said. It's a bad trend I've noticed in many stories that mention stuff along these lines. They always drop hints that somepony is indulging in some form of sexual deviancy (whatever ones personal definition of "deviancy" is) behind the scenes and honestly it gets exhausting after awhile. Can't a couple (whatever the gender) just love each other and keep their sex lives PRIVATE? That's all I'm asking. I'm perfectly fine with reading ship fics, I just have a problem with stories that always, wither through innuendo or actual sex scenes focus on the sexuality of a relationship. It's possible for two ponies to love each other and not be constantly thinking "I wonder if he/she is a good lay" or "Wow that time we had sex".
Rant over. I'm actually happy though that most of the comments replying to my first comment here haven't been really all that negative.
2225306 The whole story breaks the fourth wall.
Man, I wanted an episode with lyra and the audience. And pinkie telling her that humans are just beyond that wall. And then Lyra destroys said wall WITH THE POWER OF HER MIND!
That last line.
Thought
No comment. (Even though this is technically a comment.)
2225811
Not really. Pinkie sort of breaks the fourth wall, but the way she addresses the audience isn't in a manner which would suggest she knows she's in a story.
*Thought
2226262 Your profile pic is upside down. Also, this was a good story.
2227618 cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/31248514.jpg
2227659
So, you're Australian then, or is that just your OC? Does the MLP world have an Australia, and what would its name be?
Yes! I'm glad I'm the only one who noticed to posse of blonde white chicks who accompany Twilight now!
Lyra and Humans
Vinyl and Technology
i prefer the term 'ceratper" to describe Cadence. Wings and a horn, but no earth pony traits.
2225811 Ohh, I meant actually breaking the wall while someone is talking to the wall
2224470 Word of Faust is that there's 52 generations between Celestia and Blueblood,
2224470
Considering we now have Twilight magically being transformed into an Alicorn, and there was a time before Celestia and Luna, when Unicorns raised the sun and moon, Twilight's case is probably the same as Celestia's and Luna's - a very powerful pony that got transformed. (Considering that raising the sun and moon was done before then, by a herd of Unicorns, "Godlike power" is probably not nearly as much as we think, either.) Considering that, they would have a mother, who Blueblood could be descended from, without having to be an Alicorn. (Or maybe she was, and wasn't immortal, or Blueblood is too many generations afterwards to be gifted so, but that's speculating.)
Considering that we've seen Celestia get smacked around and knocked unconscious by Chrysalis, she's likely not indestructible. Not the show plans on showing ponies dying.
I hate this sort of explanation for Cadance. The flying, magically gifted pony with magical love powers, who, other than Fleur De Lis, is the only pony that shares Celestia and Luna's build type (though not nearly as tall), is also fully considered a member of Equestria's royal family, and also clearly stated as Luna and Celestia's niece, and now rules a small nation due to magically reacting with an ancient magical artefact... is not an Alicorn? Heck, is not special? There is a serious conflict with what the series seems to be suggesting.
I don't approve of making stuff up just for the sake of side-lining Cadance as much as possible. We've got her, and we're stuck with her.
Cute, light and all-round delectable meal, like dessert, it completes the meal.
I look forward to reading more of your work!
EDIT:
2229157
I don't know if I hate it, but interpolating Twilight's transformation and induction into Alicornhood (and thereby making her part of the royal family, whose membership is EARNED (Princesshood is earned, ergo...)) Word of Faust is that Alicorns all possess the qualities of all three tribes, and are extemely long-lived and powerful... by taking Twilight's tranformation basd on "New Magic never before performed" it is likely that Cadance also did so but at a very young age (What other unicorn uses Love Magic?)
Also, I think of maturation rates as normal; extremely fast in early years, slowing later in life. Perhaps Cadance, having reached Alicorn status early, exhibits Alicorn physiognomy earlier?
2229063
In pony years? ::pinkielaugh::
For myself, when does Celestia and Luna come to power? We know they took down Sombra (without the elements, as outlines in Celestia's flashback in Crystal Empire Pt.1) and Discord (with the elements)... is there a thread on the History of Equestria somewhere? My own thoughts were C&L (uh-oh plot bunny right there) take down Sombra, then focus on Discord. Hearths' Warming occurs prior, with Windigos as primordial beings. I've seen people say that C&L are 3000 years old, and yet are Cadance's and Blueblood's aunts? Um, what? Unless they are using "aunt" to simplify and not confuse little ones' minds that Celestia and Luna are Great(x50)-grandaunts?
Wait, the library still smells like kerosene? For the love of Celestia, keep Spike out of there!