Paul's Thursday Reviews CCXXXVII · 10:26pm Jan 28th, 2021
Every Thursday morning the very first thing I do, before even my real job, is to pre-read the day’s reviews and write the intro. It usually takes a good hour, two if the reviews are long. It’s kinda relaxing, but it does eat up a surprising amount of my day.
This morning, the first thing I see is an email telling me I’m needed at the office to capture a tool disassembly process that will take all day. On Thursday. And during my last Workaholic week, when I have 60,000 words/day I need to read.
I might have said a naughty word at a louder-than-typical volume.
It is now 3:30 PM. I haven’t read anything, and I still need to pre-read the blog.
So yeah. Keeping this short today, folks. No time to do anything else.
Reviews.
Stories for This Week:
Carousel by Thornquill
Inner Demons by Spider8ite
The Torch be Ours by The 24th Pegasus
A Corrupted Princess by Nailah
Dragon Greed is Good by Snuffy
Mother of Invention by zaponator
Trixie's Beau by Scyphi
Princess Twilight's Escorts by FerociousCreation
The Flower Mare: Seele by Flammenwerfer
Thirty Days, Thirty Twilights by Esle Ynopemos
Total Word Count: 393,559
Rating System
Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 3
Pretty Good: 5
Worth It: 0
Needs Work: 1
None: 1
Carousel
69,392 Words
By Thornquill
Things aren’t going well for Rarity. She’s a college grad who can’t find a job and is still stuck living with her parents, and her recent attempt to make a splash in Manehattan achieved nothing. Now she’s stuck at home, feeling like a failure. But then, a spark of inspiration! Ponyville has no fashion market, but that may simply be because there’s been no supply to match the demand. If she can find the right location, maybe she can become that supply.
But first, she has to deal with her… predecessors.
Let’s not beat around the bush here: this is a ghost story. It is also the story of how Rarity came to own and live in the Carousel Boutique, which is the source of the mysterious hauntings. Yet the story expands even further than that. We learn of how she met Pinkie and Applejack, see her early relationship with Fluttershy, her initial reservations about having a little sister, her struggles to start up a business, all that on top of the entity that seems to have taken violent offense to her presence at Ponyville’s former town hall. Thornquill hits this from a lot of angles, and does so to wonderful effect. Clearly, they understand that the best stories are the ones that don’t focus on just one thing.
Then there is, of course, the underlying themes of the overarching story. Themes of not facing your problems alone, of standing up for your dreams, and – most importantly – sharing your feelings with others, even the negative ones. Or perhaps especially the negative ones.
Then there’s the narrative, which tends to keep things light-toned with frequently tongue-in-cheek nods to the future we all know and love. I was especially amused about the old librarian’s comment regarding some new, young librarian taking over someday and treating her books like the children of Celestia herself. These kinds of things happen frequently and are both subtle and clear enough to bring a grin out of me every time.
Yet this is, at its core, a ghost story. Thornquill never neglects this, or let’s us forget it. At first I thought the author was playing on it too heavily. We eventually learn the general cause of Rarity’s problems, except she’s encountering the issues in the very first chapter, when she’s done nothing that would cause these strange happenings in the first place. I’m sure we could call it flights of fancy due to her mood, but it felt misleading. Alternatively, Thornquill could have felt some pressure to get into the spirit of things from the start, even if doing so made no sense and felt cheap.
But once Rarity begins to visit/live in the old town hall, that’s when things get real. It’s a slow buildup from then on, and yet there’s a continuous creepiness that pervades everything. Here is where the story shines, Rarity feeling more and more unnerved as the strange events surrounding her make the situation worse. As her career threatens to crumble before it can launch and her friendships strain beyond the breaking point, it’s hard not to feel just as anxious, frustrated, and disturbed as our protagonist.
That’s not an easy balance to achieve. Thornquill pulls it off flawlessly.
Needless to say, I loved this story. This is more than the petty offerings of your average horror tale. This is a slow and steady build to a deadly finale, made all the more powerful by its underlying themes and pervasive sense of dread. It has the right elements to thrill fans of smarter horror, yet it’s scope, style, and range should make it accessible and even enjoyable to a wider audience. I originally scheduled this to be read over the course of a week; I read it all in a single day.
Absolutely read this. It easily ranks among my favorites stories I’ve read so far, and that’s not something I say lightly.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
Inner Demons
32,994 Words
By Spider8ite
Octavia Melody happens to be from Tartarus. No, really, her father is the King of Tartarus and her mother is the Queen of the Succubi. But since she refuses to be “bad”, her father decided to banish her to the “upperworld” where she might be forced to use her demonic/succubus powers to survive. That plan backfired spectacularly; she’s now living a normal life with her girlfriend Vinyl and has no intention of developing any demonic tendencies.
This story is… rough. Which I should have anticipated, given who the author is. The story is set in a humanized version of Equestria where there are such things as angels and demons and gods and so on, though the vast majority of humanity have no idea of any of this. When the story starts, Octavia’s been living in the human world for six years – now in Vinyl’s Manehattan apartment – when her parents randomly decide to visit. Apparently this is supposed to be a story about Octavia and her father learning to deal with one another, but all that perfectly reasonable drama and relationship growth is almost immediately tossed aside in favor of an adventure to fight werewolves and vampires.
Because apparently family issues between demons wasn’t interesting enough.
Spider8ite’s writing style is direct and telly to the extreme, offering nothing in the way of atmosphere. The characters are also generally uninteresting and, in many ways, similar. For example, every pair of friends that ever existed punches one another as part of the constant joking. Octavia pretends that Vinyl is uncouth and improper but is only marginally better and certainly lacks the proper manner of her show counterpart (although in Spider8ite’s defense, she may not have had a canon personality at the time of writing).
There are also plot holes galore. Take the fact that their neighbor Bon Bon is literally a fallen angel. There’s nothing wrong with this, but later when we learn that the werewolves and vampires are planning to take over Tartarus by kidnapping Octavia’s mother, Octavia goes to Bon Bon. You’d think she’d be saying “Hey, you’ve still got Heavenly connections, right? You may wanna let leak to GodFaust that there’s a coup going on in HellTartarus. Y’know, Big Guy (or Gal, in this case) might wanna know that.” But no, instead Octavia’s just like “hey, I’ve got this problem, wanna talk to a friend about it, okay thanks bye.”
So what was the point of Bon Bon existing in this story, author? Why even have this scene if you’re going to do absolutely nothing with it or the character you’ve introduced as being a former member of the Heavenly Host? And I haven’t even started on all the other characters who take up a lot of space yet seem to have no reason for existing (I’m looking at you, Neon and Frederick). And can someone please explain how I’m supposed to believe perfectly normal, human Vinyl and a yappy little dog of no significance are able to protect themselves, unarmed, against a bunch of vampires? Spider8ite doesn’t even try, they literally just say “Vinyl and her dog fought vampires”, as if that’s all the description we need to make this absurd premise plausible.
Frankly, I’m not sure Spider8ite has any idea what they’re doing. The scope is all over the place, the drama is nonexistent, the characters behave irrationally, and people die then miraculously come back to life for no reason – not even a MacGuffin or Dues Ex. Even the big final showdown against the werewolves and vampires is frustratingly anticlimactic. It feels like Spider8ite said “I’mma write a story!” and then threw words at the screen.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s a clear rhyme and reason to the overarching plot. We’ve got our beginning, middle, and end, but the overall quality of the story is best described as “amateur”. I’m afraid this author needs to make a lot of improvements before they can get a recommendation from me.
Bookshelf: Needs Work
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Megalomaniac — Worth It
A Walk by the Hills — Needs Work
The Torch be Ours
14,542 Words
By The 24th Pegasus
In this revision of Equestrian canon, Starlight Glimmer yet again shows how evil she once was. Her equality movement leads to the eastern provinces of Equestria seceding from the country. When Celestia, Luna, and Twilight head a diplomatic visit for a peaceful resolution, they are summarily captured, stripped of their cutie marks, and held for ransom on the condition of the new nation’s independence. But Equestria won’t be cowed by such cowardly tactics. For five years, there has been naught but war, and Rainbow Dash finds herself perpetually on the front lines.
The 24th Pegasus has made a name for themselves in the genre of war stories. This time their efforts center on a World War I-style battlefield with Rainbow Dash as the veteran soldier facing the cold, cruel realities of trench warfare. Yet we never actually see any fighting.
It is a sign of just how talented this author is that we can be put in the middle of a war, never actually witness any of the combat directly, and yet still feel touched, torn, and shaken by the end result. Even stranger still that this can be done when the vast majority of it is little more than exposition. That’s some impressive stuff, there.
And then there’s the fact that this isn’t just one story, but two. The first is Rainbow reflecting on the war and how it has so horribly changed her life into a shadow of what it once was. The other is a ponified re-enactment of the 1914 Christmas Armistice, this time with Lightning Dust and Night Glider alongside Rainbow. Both stories are interesting in their own ways, although the first one is infinitely more evocative and meaningful.
I thoroughly enjoyed this. It’s got a lot of elements to it, all centered around the conflict between the ponies’ inherent desire for harmony and the cruel realities of war. It’s interesting, it’s rough, it’s bittersweet. It is, ultimately, a wonderful entry in The 24th Pegasus’s library. If you’re interested in war stories, this is absolutely going to do it for you.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
A Song of Storms: Snow and Shadows — WHYRTY?
Surviving Sand Island — WHYRTY?
A Song of Storms: Of Skies Long Forgotten — Pretty Good
The Mare of the Equestrian Eighth — Pretty Good
A Corrupted Princess
17,443 Words
By Nailah
Disclaimer: Nailah contacted me last week to inquire about this review. They want to let everyone know that this story is from very early in their literary career and shouldn’t be taken as an example of their current abilities. I may have to read something more recent by this author in order to find out for myself, but for now let’s just take them at their word, shall we?
Twilight Sparkle is now sole ruler of Equestria. She’s so not ready for the job.
Nor was I ready for this story. After reading it I find myself questioning Nailah’s age. The story regularly self-contradicts. Is it set in Ponyville or in Canterlot? I have no idea, because it keeps jumping between the two. The author seems to think that being Equestria’s ruler means giving foreign delegates tours of Canterlot and solving the problems of every pony who happens to walk into the castle with a sob story.
And then, after two days on the job, Twilight snaps for no apparent reason, decides all her friends are changelings, imprisons Fluttershy and begins torturing Spike.
And then Rarity shows up and convinces Twilight she was wrong, and Twilight concludes – again, for no reason – that insanity is a “normal” trait for all rulers at the beginning of their reign and things will be okay now.
And then Spike forgives her for the torture and the two of them have sex. Because… Because.
And then we learn it was all a dream and Twilight isn’t the ruler of Equestria, yay!
This is a very brief summary, obviously, but the point is made. This story is about as nonsensical as they come. The writing provides no salvation: it’s consistently incorrect in terms of grammar, word choice, and at it times even fails to make sense. Heck, one of the titles is “Lost of Control”. No, that’s not a typo, it really is “Lost of Control”. This kind of problem is all over the place.
The story is an unmitigated mess. It’s not written well, the plot is incomprehensible, and I’m not even sure there’s any sort of point to it.
Bookshelf: None
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
Dragon Greed is Good
10,149 Words
By Snuffy
Equestria is facing a fiscal crisis: there isn’t enough coinage circulating in the system to keep the economy afloat. Princess Luna, who is responsible for overseeing tax law, decides to do something about it. In as direct and boisterous a manner as possible, of course.
I’ve always been one to believe in Luna the Mistress of Subterfuge. But the show and a great many other people believe in Luna the Tornado, freely and eagerly blasting through whatever earns her ire or just happens to be in the way. And you know, I’m not opposed to that interpretation. As this story demonstrates, it’s often a lot of fun.
In this case, Luna and her poor assistant Haywood travel across Equestria looking for the culprit behind the bit shortage, threatening ponies and damaging buildings along the way. Haywood plays the straight man to her idiosyncrasies, and does the job well. Along the way we learn of Luna’s caffeine addiction, how paper money will never happen in Equestria, Celestia’s cheerful unwillingness to solve any problems herself, and more than one embarrassing event in Luna’s and Celestia’s past (the Sugarcane Party comes to mind).
This is a story told all in good fun, and that’s all we needed. This version of Luna is always entertaining to watch, and watching her is the primary selling point for the story. I would have liked to have seen some overarching lesson learned in there, but I’ll take “just for fun” as a decent excuse.
Jump in, enjoy the silly princess, and try not to get between her and some coffee.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Beyond Achlys — Pretty Good
The Train Ride — Pretty Good!
Mother of Invention
156,998 Words
By zaponator
Applejack wakes up to find herself trapped all alone on an island. An island with no animals, no ponies, nothing but jungle. Well, almost nothing…
I am reminded of a few things. Ark: Survival Evolved, in which you must survive on an island full of prehistoric and mythological creatures. Or perhaps The Forest, a game in which you survive on a heavily forested peninsula trying to find your son and not get eaten by mutant cannibals. But if we want to be limited to horsewords, I am most reminded of The 24th Pegasus’s epic Surviving Sand Island, which operates under very similar circumstances and may have even been influenced by Mother of Invention. All these thoughts are good things, I assure you.
The story is set in three different ways. First, we have Applejack trying to remember how she came to the island, which mostly involves dream sequence flashbacks. Second, there’s her trying to survive with nothing but her wits and the few tools that managed to get on the island with her, as well as seeking a way home. Last but not least is her trying to grasp the secrets of the island: who lived there before her, what they were up to, and how that history affects her efforts to escape. How she ended up on the island is fairly obvious within one or two dream sequences, but the other topics?
Whew. This is quite the adventure. At times it is exciting, like the antagonist’s second appearance at the camp. At times it’s funny, like the time AJ got sun drunk (if you will).
Then there are times when it’s frightening. Exhausting. Worrying. If there is anything zaponator proves especially talented in, it’s making us feel the gut-wrenching desperation and the hideous awareness of how dangerous Applejack’s situation is. I need point to nothing more than the time she accidentally hurt herself (I won’t spoil how), which is truly a grueling experience. I applaud the author’s skill in this area.
There are a handful of annoyances. For example, there’s the mystery of the eternal rustling that never gets resolved despite being alluded to throughout the entire story. There’s the antagonist, which we do get some background on, but nothing specific enough to be even remotely satisfying. Then there’s the last few chapters where the narrative reminds us, time and time again, that Applejack has no time to waste and needs to get to work, in case you forgot it the last twenty times it came up. There are one or two other things that bugged me, but they were minor, and I can’t mention them anyway without spoilers.
At any rate, this was an all-around excellent story. It’s got tension, drama, humor, horror, and an ever-firm grip on reality. It comes with a richly rewarding ending while reassuring us that Applejack will be feeling the effects of her solo adventure for the rest of her life. Best of all, it is a story that has aged phenomenally, still coming out as something believable and gripping despite having been written way back in 2012.
I encourage you to join the ~11,000 people who have already read this one. You most certainly won’t regret it.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Blink — Pretty Good
Entropy — Pretty Good
Trixie's Beau
34,625 Words
By Scyphi
Trixie has a new boyfriend by the name of Theodore Startup. Starlight wants to be happy for her friend, she really does, but something about this guy is… off. Determined to look out for Trixie, she uses her connections to investigate Theodore’s self-proclaimed backstory. Sure enough, it begins to look like he’s not who he claims.
I am immensely proud of myself that I figured out who Theodore really is about 1,000 words before Starlight did. I didn’t even have to do much analyzing, it just came to me, but I doubt I’d have been able to do that if the author hadn’t been leaving the right clues, so I’ll give Scyphi credit there. The story largely circles around Starlight trying to reveal the truth to Trixie by any means necessary, including getting Smolder, Gallus, and Silverstream involved.
More credit where it’s due: Scyphi clearly ‘gets’ these characters. I was able to hear all of them speaking in their own unique voices as the story went on, which isn’t a common thing. Be it Gallus and Smolder’s constant friendly bickering or Silverstream’s indefatigable cheerfulness, all are captured more or less perfectly.
Scyphi also makes copious nods to their gargantuan story, Grief is the Price we Pay. I particularly enjoyed when a certain changeling swore in the name of acorns. Of course, people who haven’t read Grief (and I don’t blame them, look at how long that thing is!) won’t get the references, but they’re subtle enough that they can be taken as little more than background flavoring. Well done there, author.
I only scoffed at two points throughout the story. The first one I won’t bother to mention, mainly because Gallus very specifically recognizes the flaw and points it out to Smolder when it’s too late to do something about it. So yeah, at least it was addressed.
The second is the idea that you can get a face full of literally boiling cheese and, somehow, get past it without injury, to say nothing of third degree burns and permanent scarring. But I let that go, since this is clearly meant to be a story based on show-logic. The important thing is the lesson, which is, essentially, not to butt in on other people’s private matters. Well, not invasively.
I enjoyed this. The characters are all spot-on in their depictions, the events are fun and silly without going too over-the-top (cheese incident aside), and it features a relationship that is actually kinda sweet when you think about it. I can see why Scyphi chose to write this; fans of Grief will be especially appreciative.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Grief is the Price We Pay — Pretty Good!
Princess Twilight's Escorts
16,396 Words
By FerociousCreation
Sequel to Just Some Flowers
The Storm King’s forces occupy Canterlot, and Caramel finds himself the slave of a Storm Creature by the name of Groak. Yet Caramel keeps hope. After all, Princess Twilight is still out there. She’ll find a way to save the day. She always does.
This story tells of how Caramel, who loves Twilight, reacts when she is brought back to Canterlot in a cage. In this aspect it delivers wonderfully, showing the sheer emotional agony he feels at seeing his princess defeated. Yet it goes beyond that, showing us the eventual return of Twilight’s friends and the liberation of Canterlot through his eyes. We get to find out the story behind that one Storm Creature Fluttershy brought to tears, just for example.
But mostly, this is a story about Caramel. His feelings for Twilight, his reputation as an all-around good and capable stallion, and how he can save a princess simply by believing in her… even when she doesn’t believe in herself. It’s a pleasant addition to the movie’s story, even if the movie’s story makes me cringe on occasion.
Since I just had to find something to nitpick: come on, FerociousCreation, we all know the sun and the moon are still moving when Celestia and Luna are petrified. They do in the movie. It makes no sense whatsoever for that to happen, but it clearly does, because the show’s creators can’t be bothered to keep track of their own story. So what’s all this about the sun and moon never changing position in Canterlot?
Actually, I prefer FerociousCreation’s version of that, because it does make more sense. But when literally everything else has been kept strictly within the bounds of the movie’s events, why hasn’t this?
Okay, pointless nitpicking over. This story didn’t wow me, yet it held my interest well. It’s nice to see Caramel given some real character, as he’s somepony I pretty much never see any authors focus on. The story is strong, if predictable, and manages to avoid a lot of romantic tropes to keep things mostly realistic to the setting. All in all, I approve.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Just Some Flowers — Pretty Good
King's Puzzle — Pretty Good
Seconds Late — Worth It
The Flower Mare: Seele
14,910 Words
By Flammenwerfer
Sequel to The Flower Mare
In The Flower Mare, the CMC meet a new pony in Ponyville who is a veteran of a terrible foreign war, which itself appears to be thematic of World War I for this AU. The CMC uncovered her past and got her to acknowledge it, which apparently leads to her mental recovery of the trauma. The conclusion was unpleasantly quick and rather unbelievable, but otherwise the story worked well.
In the sequel, Schneeblume decides to tell the much older trio of Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle about the final conflict of the war and her last role as an elite stormtrooper of the Alemaneian Empire: the Seele Plains. What follows is Schneeblume’s very detailed description of the battle.
The battle does indeed seem to be the primary draw of this story, and Flammenwerfer worked to create as visual and emotional a retelling as possible. This is an intense tale of war at its most gruesome and unpleasant, with an emphasis of the conflicting “normal” that had become Schnee’s life as a soldier versus the unavoidable, visceral rejection of the horrors before her. The author spares no expense to convey the nightmares of the battle, from artillery bombardment to trench combat to chemical weapons.
Needless to say, if vivid descriptions of combat and death disturb you, you may wish to skip this one.
The whole thing comes to a head in the present, when Schnee has the unexpectedly welcome experience of meeting a fellow veteran of the war who would have once been her enemy.
Generally speaking, I enjoyed this. It has a point and follows through on it to great effect. This was a nice way to demonstrate what Schnee is up against in terms of her personal recovery and the triumph it is to have come so far.
There are a handful of issues. The first is Flammenwerfer’s obsession with independent sentences. There are so many instances where what should have been a single paragraph ends up as four or five separated sentences. I assume the author is trying to force some extra emotional oomph into the words this way. Moderation, author: the more you use the same tactic, the less effective it becomes. By the time we actually got to the battle, it was more of a nuisance and distraction than an aid. Slightly related: Flammenwerfer clearly has no idea what semicolons are meant to do.
The second issue is the latter scene with the CMC. There’s this moment where the girls try to help Schnee get over her issues regarding the Seele Plains battle. It happens fast, with minimal effort shown on the part of the girls or Schnee, and yet it’s also shown to have a profound effect on Schnee’s recovery. I’ll grant that I have no relative experience with this, but I find it extremely hard to believe that it’s that easy to get over such intense trauma. The whole thing felt rushed and fake, which is unfortunate considering the high quality of the rest of the story.
I’m also questioning the nature of the battle. At that point the war had been going on for the better part of a decade, and yet somehow only then does Schnee act like the war is terrible? What made it so different from all the other undoubtedly bloody fights? Was there no artillery then, no machine guns, no suicidal charges between trenches? Why was the battle at Seele so much worse? We get no answer to these questions. I’m more than willing to acknowledge the possibility that, somehow, Seele was vastly more intense and brutal than anything before in the war, but without any explanation it’s hard to imagine why, especially when the author goes out of their way to depict Schnee as being a hardened soldier who had seen enough to not flinch at the worst war can offer… only to promptly do so when the fighting starts proper. It’s a conflicting message and I’d like an excuse behind it.
Despite these problems, I feel this was a great sequel to The Flower Mare. It gives us a lot more of what Schnee went through and gives us a better idea of what her recovery really means to her. Vivid and far more impactful than one might expect, it’s a must-read for those interested in war stories.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
The Flower Mare — Pretty Good
Thirty Days, Thirty Twilights
26,110 Words
By Esle Ynopemos
Sister Story of Party Every Day and Thirty Minutes Shy
And so we continue with Esle Ynopemos’s collection of Mane 6-themed shorts. It looks like the Twilight one was written last, so I’m not reading these in order, but that’s okay; there clearly is no need to worry about that. Anyway, this is a series of short stories, each focused on Twilight in some way.
The type of stories ranges wildly. We’ve got AJ catching Rarity and Twilight doing “unicorn things”, Fluttershy being only the most adorable pirate, lost fillies, and Twilight intentionally dooming Equestria to a terrible fate by solving magical problems in profoundly stupid ways. Really, it’s the whole package; whatever type of story you’re after, this will have it for you somewhere.
As with the others, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. The stories were certainly hit or miss, but there were a lot more hits than misses. I’m looking forward to the next set in the collection, which will probably be Applejack’s.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Thirty Minutes Shy — Pretty Good!
Party Every Day — Pretty Good!
Stories for Next Week:
Myriad Thoughts by Tale Swapper
Little Horn's Story by kwr2k13
Feline-Equine Relations: Or How To Kidnap a Princess of Equestria by ModMCdl
On Some Days by Chapter 13
Crooked Stems by Cadejo Jones
A Rare Cake Indeed by Zodiacspear
Underneath by Dandereshy
Mister Sunshine by Vertigo22
Monsters in the Light by PhoenixDragon44
Mother of the Hives by law abiding pony
Recent Review Map:
Paul's Thursday Reviews CCXXXII
Paul's Thursday Reviews CCXXXIII
Paul's Thursday Reviews CCXXXIV
Paul's Thursday Reviews CCXXXV
Paul's Thursday Reviews CCXXXVI
You Are Here
Paul's Thursday Reviews CCXXXVIII
Paul's Thursday Reviews CCXXXIX
Paul's Thursday Reviews CCXXXX
Paul's Thursday Reviews CCXLI
Paul's Thursday Reviews CCXLII
Fair enough review to me! Thanks!
I made next week! Whoot!
At the same time, I was hoping you'd go for, instead, the sister story of Half Hour To Closing in my little Lightning Dust saga. I thought it turned out to be the better of the two, as they both had the same inspiration, and I feel like I hit it better in this one. But, I'm not one to complain and happy to see you check out my stuff again.
Can't wait to see what you think!
Reading an entire shortfic collection at one time, what is this? :V
Oh hey, Dragon Greed, I edited that! :D
Shame that Demontavia one wasn't any good. If nothing else, it'd be a nice change from vampire Vinyl fics. Also, the author appears to be banned? I wonder why...
I started reading "Carousel," but nothing past the first chapter is marked as read for me. I'm guessing I gave it a glance to see if I wanted to claim it from the reviewing queue and decided not to. Nothing about the description of it rings a bell.
TFW when you see something highly recommended, go over to read it, and forget that you already read it and marked it as a favorite.
From the first time I had it pointed out to me that the sun and moon were still moving during the movie--which was in another of your blogs, I believe--It’s been my headcanon that somehow, possibly through Spike, Fluttershy got ahold of Discord, and asked him to keep moving them from somewhere safe. Somewhere he was in no danger of being petrified like the princesses. That also helps explain why he’s absent until the end credits.
Mother of Invention was one of the first stories I ever read here (albeit even then it was about 6 years old!), and I remember picking it up as a fun diversion - ooh, a solo adventure featuring my favourite pony? What will these bronies think of next? - and not being able to put it down until I'd finished it. I often wonder if it's just fondness for that memory that keeps the story high in my affections, so it's really nice to see someone else being gripped by it too!
(oh, also, the link to last week's (236) instalment is missing from the bottom)
I don't blame them either, and I wrote the dang thing!
Yeah, looking back now, if I were to do it over, I'd definitely trim it down in spots. But hindsight's 20/20, and that's really part of why I write fanfiction anyway--so I can get those kind of dumb mistakes out of my system here rather than somewhere in the more professional field where it'd be less forgiving.
But that's neither here nor there.
It's funny you mentioned the cheese, because I had at one point the same thought process as you did while writing it.
And I'm glad my "subtle hints" paid off too, because that's precisely what they were there for.
Yeah, both are great. One for lighthearted fun and goofiness' and the other for more serious affairs. Though often people seem to champion Luna the Vindictive for some reason. As she becomes a sort of channel for the author to advocate a more hardline stance onto the MLP universe. It usually ends poorly in my opinion. Doubly so if you're shipping her and Twilight at the same time.
Speaking of which, took your advice and read Twilight Sparkle of the Royal Guard. And damn, that was certainly the good stuff.
5443632
I didn't know there was a sister story. But now I do, so perhaps I'll get to it faster as a result. I tend to jump on that kind of thing when I can.
5443673
I really wanted the Demontavia one to be good, too. It was... disappointing.
5443679
The first chapter is almost certainly the weakest point in the whole story, primarily because the author shoehorns in some "spooooooky moments" that make no sense in the overarching context of the plot. It was kind of annoying, TBH. But it gets a lot better from there on in.
5443705
Nah. I have zero doubt that Discord could have stopped the Storm King and Tempest with a snap of his fingers if he really wanted. I prefer to think this was another one of those "they'll figure it out on their own as a lesson learned, and in the off chance Princess Bookworm does fail, I'll just slip on in there and 'fix things'." I'm not convinced he wasn't in the background making things happen in just the right ways, y'know?
Of course, I tend to think Celestia and Luna are significantly more powerful than punching bags, but the show gleefully disagrees at every given opportunity, so...
5443785
Ah, thanks. I completely forgot. Fixed!
5444431
I've seen a few Vindictive Luna's in my time. I don't think it's a bad approach, either. Most were either "author making Luna a vengeful badass for fun" or has Luna learn some valuable lesson after her "Vindictive" nature causes problems. I'm perfectly happy with the latter. The former is hit or miss. Usually miss.
5444483 Sweet! I got inspiration for both at the same time. They have the same feel to them, just executed differently.