Paul's Thursday Reviews CCXX · 9:21pm Sep 10th, 2020
Wanting to be a “good son”, I elected to stay at my parents’ place for the Labor Day weekend to help them clean up the damage from Hurricane Laura. Luckily, Dad had prepared for these kinds of events ages ago; they had a gas-powered generator strong enough to keep the water flowing, keep the lights on, the refrigerator humming, and run two window-unit air conditioners in place of the central unit, plus their stove runs on propane. So in terms of living comfortably, they were fine. Even if they had to house my couldn’t-stop-talking-if-his-life-depended-on-it younger brother and grouchy-doesn’t-want-to-do-anything-but-play-solitaire-and-watch-TV-leave-me-alone grandmother, whose homes were decidedly not fine.
But trees were down all over the place, and the only people who were going to deal with it were us. It was during this time that I was reminded how my dear, sweet mother, at a mere 4’ 11” (149.9 cm) and going on 60, reminded me that she’s a total boss.
My father is still recovering from knee replacement surgery, my grandmother can barely walk, and my brother was out of town tending to his own family (he’s staying at our parents’ place on weekdays for work). So come Saturday at around 11 AM my mother and I are on our own when we get started on the cleanup. With a tractor older than I am and a pair of chainsaws, we spent our time cutting up trees and their limbs and putting them in massive piles around the yard for later burning. The humidity is high (to be expected in southern Louisiana) and the temperature is at 95 Fahrenheit (35 Celsius) before factoring in the heat index. After about four hours, a bout of dizziness warns my pasty, indoors-99%-of-the-time ass that I’m approaching heat stroke. My mother thus decides to call it quits for the day.
“Quits”, she says. Yeah. Sure. I go inside to recover while she stays outdoors for literally the rest of the day. Oh, no, she wasn’t cutting up and moving trees like she’d been with me, so she wasn’t lying about stopping that work. But she still had a vegetable garden and a rose garden to tend, she decided to mow the spaces we’d cleared out, then used a wheelbarrow to bring fresh dirt to the holes that now existed in the yard, and on, and on, and on...
The next day, we both went out again to do the same work. Although I did a much better job staying hydrated and coming inside for five to ten-minute breaks, I still only lasted four hours before the signs of heatstroke put me down for the day. And Mom was at it right up to sundown again.
That woman is a marvel.
Let’s get to some reviews. At least I know I can hold my own doing that.
PS – No reviews next weeks, folks. You know the drill.
Stories for This Week:
Mortal by Benman
Operation: Replace by Thought Prism
One of Those Days by Taranth
The Simple Life by Thornwing
Mud, Sweat, and Tears by Hyperexponential
The Time Has Come by Commissar Rarity
Aftermath of the Games by Darth Link 22
Blank by GeekCat
The Train Ride by Snuffy
Sungaged by Summer Dancer
Total Word Count: 224,161
Rating System
Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 1
Pretty Good: 3
Worth It: 3
Needs Work: 3
None: 0
It’s been fifty years since Twilight became a princess, and the first of her friends has passed. With Applejack gone, Rainbow Dash begins to wonder if it’s necessary. When she poses the query to Twilight, Twilight in turn realizes that she could prevent her friends – no, anyone – from dying. But Celestia has decreed that this cannot be, and Twilight would never disobey Celestia.
There are immortality stories, and then there’s Mortal. Rather than being about how immortality sucks, this one is about the hard decisions around which the topic rotates. When you have the ability to ensure that nobody dies, the decision not to do that can be a true ethical dilemma. To be honest, I have significant objections to Twilight’s ultimate decision. Yet I also have significant objections to Celestia’s reaction to it.
The beauty of Mortal is the pains it goes through to make sure we understand there is no ‘right’ side of the argument. It also surprised me how the story depicted Celestia; I swear, without Luna at her side she’d have gone full on Daybreaker, and I’m still not convinced that isn’t coming. Equally important is Rainbow Dash, who has a very blunt and unforgiving perspective on the entire topic and in many ways drives the discussion throughout the story without going OOC to do so.
It’s a shame we don’t get to hear Applejack weigh in on the topic, although I think she wouldn’t have wanted immortality. At the same time, it’s disappointing that we never got to see Pinkie Pie weigh in on the discussion. It does amuse me that even into her sixties she’s as energetic and unstoppable as ever.
More than anything, I want to see the consequences of this story. Because there will be consequences. There’s no such thing as utopia, after all, and eventually Twilight & co. will slam against the inevitable barriers of reality just as Celestia predicted. How they deal with the problems would be interesting to see. And yes, I do see that unlabelled sequel.
Overall, this was a wonderful read, and far more than I ever expected. It’s got great characterization, a central premise with no obvious solution, and a lot of room left behind for philosophical introspection. I was at times disturbed – particularly in the depiction of Celestia, both early on when it was just a gut feeling and later in the story when those feelings were justified. I was at times uncertain of my own opinion. I found myself thinking for hours about what I’d have done in Twilight’s horseshoes. This story is compelling, and a fascinating look at a topic that so many writers approach but none have so effectively explored before.
I can’t recommend it enough.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Friend and Foe — Pretty Good
Operation: Replace
13,196 Words
By Thought Prism
Displaced humans keep popping up in Equestria. There are dozens, maybe even hundreds of them. Twilight is sick of it. So she decides to create a team of four displaced humans and one pony on a mission to kill or capture the Merchant.
This is 100% pure fanfiction. I mean, yes, any story on this site qualifies, but there’s fanfiction, and then there’s Fanfiction. In this case, we’re talking about a story that exists purely for guilty pleasure, with little regard for making sense or even being ‘good’. The author had a specific goal in mind and wrote something to make it happen, and to heck with all that “story” nonsense. In this case, the goal was to kill the Merchant in what is undoubtedly meant to be a giant middle finger to those vastly overproduced Displaced stories that people continue to write because originality is passé.
It involves a Magic the Gathering wizard named Jace Beleren, Vash the Stampede from Trigun, Ike from Fire Emblem, Ninja Slayer from the titular series, and Starlight Glimmer going to a convention in Chicago to kill the Merchant in what ends up as three-chapters-long 3pic brawlzz!!!1! Although Thought Prism works to write the concept as seriously as possible, it still ends up being exactly as over the top and silly as it sounds. Characters will have outrageous abilities with no explanation, there are multiple anime/video game-style moments of “that was just my first form!” and “weak, you are so weak!”, and the entire fight goes on without a single cop or fed or pretty much any authority figure of any sort trying to put a stop to the wanton chaos. And let’s not forget that this whole mission stems from the Goddamn Princess Twilight Sparkle deciding to arrange a hit on someone.
Yes, it’s ridiculous. Yes, it’s stupid.
But hey, if you’re willing to take that in stride, it can be a lot of fun. And since it’s obvious that’s all Thought Prism wanted to do, I’m willing to get behind it. It’s one thing if an author writes something like this and thinks they’re Shakespear, it’s another when they know what they’re doing is nonsense and just roll with it. So that’s what I did: I rolled with it.
That being said, this is going on the middle ground for my bookshelves. Let’s face it, this isn’t a good ‘story’. But it amused and entertained me, and I’m pretty sure that’s all the author cared about in this instance. If it sounds like something you’re interested in, I see no reason to suggest otherwise.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Below — Pretty Good
Name Rater — Pretty Good
Antithesis — Worth It
Pie Family Weirdness: The Secret Origin — Worth It
One of Those Days
40,302 Words
By Taranth
Princess Twilight is still getting the hang of her alicorn powers, which are manifesting themselves in sometimes unpredictable ways. Since she’s the Alicorn of Magic, that means “Magic” sometimes mistakes her idle thoughts for requests and desires (inasmuch as a nebulous concept such as magic is aware of these things). So when Twilight goes to bed one night idly wondering what the world might be like if her friends were all stallions… well, you have an idea where this is going.
To summarize: Twilight wakes up in an alternate universe where all the characters are gender swapped.
I am amused, but not as much as I thought I’d be. That’s not a knock against the story by any means. It’s only that Taranth played the concept more straight than I expected. That said, they did pull the old Rule 63 gimmick that all the male versions of her friends think she’s hot and, whether intentionally or not, act on that revelation. Taranth did a great job of making all the genderbent ponies behave much like we know them, at least regarding the Mane 6. Side and background characters maybe not, but I’ll let that slide considering when the story was released.
This went everywhere these stories are expected to go, though in a significantly less pervy way and treated the subject with a little more seriousness. In many ways, the visit with Bubble Berry was my favorite just because I, like Twilight, enjoyed getting to see at least one of her Rule 63 friends not ogling her or having at least a subconscious reaction to her presence. Having said that, I think Taranth was as tasteful on the topic as could be expected given the characters’ personalities.
Also, Taranth writes a pretty good Pinkie Pie, Rule 63’d or otherwise.
I enjoyed myself overall. The story was lots of fun despite its predictability, and Twilight Twilighting is always worth my time. That Taranth decided to write the story without taking things to ridiculous slapstick and/or pervy extremes is the icing on the cake.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Being Special — WHYRTY?
Happy Endings — WHYRTY?
Little Deceptions — WHYRTY?
The Simple Life
12,729 Words
By Thornwing
When Blueblood treats the castle’s assistant chef like dirt – again – Celestia decides she’s had enough of his behavior. She seals away his magic, strips him of his title, and sends him to work at Sweet Apple Acres. She also assigns him a checklist of four tasks, decreeing that he will have his magic and his title back when he completes them.
By now I think it’s safe to say I have a fondness for Blueblood redemption fics. I’ve read several fics involving this in one way or another, but this is the first one I’ve read where he gets sent to Sweet Apple Acres. Which is amusing, because it seems like this is the go-to method of royal reformation among FIMfiction writers. Then again, the ease and commonality of the concept is probably why I avoided it for so long.
I like how Applejack took charge of his reformation in this story, and I appreciate even more that it didn’t devolve into an unnecessary romance (although the abrupt couple that formed at the end is so unlikely as to be miraculous). I also appreciate how simple Celestia’s checklist was, as the common sense nature of it really emphasizes how far Blueblood has to go. It would be easy to think that Thornwing is exaggerating Blueblood’s ignorance, but I learned long ago that it’s certainly plausible. If there are people out there who believe Louisiana doesn’t have paved roads (and there are), then Blueblood can be this bad.
But the story has its problems. For one, Blueblood’s redemption is far too rushed to be believable. This is the kind of thing that takes weeks, if not months, to fix, and we’re being told Blueblood reformed in less than a week. No way I’m buying that. Then there are his lessons, which are usually forced. Nowhere is this more apparent than the plowing scene, where apparently a large crowd showed up to cheer blueblood on for no apparent reason. Thornwing likely wants us to think it’s because of the charity work he did the day before, except that he was forced into it and Applejack did the majority and a single run around town giving things away isn’t going to make people suddenly rally around him like that. I kept waiting for the evidence that they were all paid off by the crown, and I’m still not convinced otherwise. So no, I don’t buy this redemption and I fully expect Celestia to send Blueblood back to AJ with a note not to be in such a hurry to get rid of him.
If the redemption had been believable, this might have been a great story. As-is?
Bookshelf: Needs Work
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
The Old Gray Mare — Pretty Good
Mud, Sweat, and Tears
10,172 Words
By Hyperexponential
Rarity needs to come up with an original idea for a charity event within the next week, but such a thing eludes her. Then, after a discussion involving mud baths at the spa, Applejack makes the most outlandish of suggestions: a mud wrestling event between Rarity and Fluttershy. It’s preposterous. It’s unladylike. It’s downright violent! It… It… might actually work…
I can greatly appreciate the challenge this must have presented to Hyperexponential. Selling the idea, to say nothing of making it work, is no easy task. To be frank, I’m not sold on the concept, mainly because it was far too easy for Applejack to convince Rarity to do it. I mean, really, it took no effort at all. That doesn’t fly for me. Maybe if I’d seen Applejack dog Rarity about the concept for a few days and got the other girls in on the badgering, but just two minutes of debating? Not a chance.
Other than that, though, it’s a surprisingly fun and well done story. You have to accept that it was written very early in the series and the overarching lesson, particularly for Fluttershy, is as common as can be for the time. Still, it’s an amusing little scenario. Oh, yes, it goes exactly how you’d expect, but I won’t hold that against it because, really, how else could it go? ...not that way, pervs.
This story has the curious quirk of being entirely unoriginal and original at the same time, in that the story provides nothing new at all for our characters beyond the premise in and of itself. Yet the author gave a genuine and surprisingly strong go at it. Aside from that opening issue of convincing Rarity to give it a go, I can think of nothing about the story to complain about.
If the unusual premise is enough to catch your attention, you’ve no reason not to try it out. Just be warned that the premise is the only ‘new’ thing about it.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Forever Young — Pretty Good
Telltales — Pretty Good
The Time Has Come
17,765 Words
By Commissar Rarity
A human, down-on-her-luck Trixie is, uh, ‘greeted’ by a griffon claiming she is the successor of a family of demon hunters, and asks her to come to Prussia to cleanse an ancient castle of evil.
If I had to pin this story down with just one word, it would be: pointless. But more generally, this is Devil May Cry, with Trixie as Dante and Sunset Shimmer as Virgil. They even pull the whole “take lethal damage, walk it off with a smirk and a one-liner” that Dante does.There is no story, no moral, no character growth. It’s just 2 hot gurlz gettin n2 epic battulz!!1!!1 The plot is blatantly video gamey, complete with Trixie “growing stronger with every kill” (experience points) and boss battles coming out of nowhere.
Which, y’know, if that’s what you want out of your ‘stories’, then I guess this will do everything you need. I will say this is a vast improvement to the last ‘story’ I read by this author; at least this one pretends to care about the setting a little.
But if you’re looking for something more cerebral, walk away now. Nothing in this story makes sense because the author didn’t care for it to, they just wanted to write endless fight scenes. I wasn’t even impressed by those fight scenes, which are direct, unemotional, and at times self-contradictory. Even those moments that look like they might, just maybe, lead to some kind of character growth or moral dilemma end up being forgotten and amounting to nothing. Add to that the fact that there is nothing My Little Pony at all about this story. Yes, the main character is named Trixie and her rival is Sunset Shimmer and there are some mentions of Equestria and Celetia and Luna, but that’s literally all they are: names. There’s no resemblance at all to the characters we know and love.
As a story, this is utter nonsense. It is not original, it is not interesting, it doesn’t even have a point. It just is. But hey, the author had fun with it, and I can’t fault them for that.
Bookshelf: Needs Work
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Darkness in the North — Worth It*
Aftermath of the Games
16,180 Words
By Darth Link 22
In a complete denial of canon, Darth Link 22 alters the conclusion of Friendship Games to make sure Principal Cinch gets punished more overtly for her actions. And then things get really crazy…
The story comes in two parts. The first involves detailing Sci-Twi’s start at ‘reformation’ (although I don’t think that’s the right word for her situation, I can’t think of a better one), including dealing with nightmares and spending time with her new friends. The second part is Sci-Twi meeting Princess Twilight in a two-chapter set where Darth Link says “screw it, canon can burn in a barrel.”
The first section doesn’t seem to have any real purpose beyond “this is what Twilight had to deal with”. Which is fine, really. If someone thinks they can show more about that than Hasbro did, I’m all for it. It’s in the second part where things run off the rails. This starts with Darth Link changing the ending of Season 6 and Starlight’s method of reformation. Or, to be succinct, it has Princess Twilight murder Starlight and have her replaced with a more malleable version. That’s not an exaggeration, this is exactly what she does, and with great cheer at that. Frankly, I think it’s a terrible solution that Twilight never would have resorted to due to the significant unintended consequences she can’t even comprehend. It also grossly complicated an already messy narrative. It’s one thing to alter Principal Cinch’s situation to fit with a new narrative, it’s another to throw a bunch of extra monkey wrenches into the story for no reason.
Because really, what does this Season 6 change do for the story? As far as I can see, the answer is “nothing”. Unless you count confusing or even offending the readers and making everything more complex than it needs to be. The fact that it forced one chapter to be a giant info-dump of “these are all my retcons to canon” doesn’t help at all. Heck, that the author felt such a chapter needed to exist in the first place demonstrates the problem.
My point is, it feels like Darth Link 22 is trying to do way too much with this story. They could have skipped the entire Starlight aspect of the story, saving it for the sequel (or ditching it entirely). I get that the author wanted to demonstrate the differences between the two worlds, and I love authors with ambition, but sometimes it’s best to reel it in and take control of the situation. Darth Link 22 is no stranger to this problem, constantly trying and failing to finish what they started as new ideas and big stories crop up.
As for this story, I think it would have been vastly better served had the author just stuck with the originally intended three chapters. I would have given this a decent rating then. But once the plot bunnies run free, things got real messy real quick.
Bookshelf: Needs Work
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
About Last Night — Pretty Good
Families — Pretty Good
Post Nuptials — Worth It
Honeymoon — Needs Work
Blank
10,797 Words
By GeekCat
Requested by Explodingkitten55
Just before Discord can have his epiphany and accept Fluttershy as his friend, Twilight remembers the Reformation Spell and blasts him with it. Now Discord is nothing more than a shell, a robotic drone of a creature with no free will or opinions to speak of. What happened to him is wrong, if not outright evil. But it’s done, and nothing can be done to cure him.
That won’t stop Fluttershy from trying.
This is a strong piece of sadfic in which we watch as Fluttershy tries everything she can think of to save Discord from the mind control enchantment set upon him. The story briefly runs through all future events, where Twilight uses Discord as nothing more than a tool to defeat every major villain that comes Equestria’s way. Everypony around her understands that the solution is wrong, yet Twilight is adamantly against even trying to fix him.
It’s a painful tale, especially as we watch Fluttershy’s friendship with Twilight deteriorate.
My primary issue is that I’m not sure about how GeekCat went through every season like this. The Plunder Vines, Tirek, Starlight Glimmer and Thorax, one after the other. This does a thorough job of showing us how the events of the show change with this new dynamic and how Twilight is gradually falling due to her own act of evil. And yet, I can’t help feeling it wasn’t necessary. The author could have achieved everything the story sets out to do, and more believably, in a shorter timeframe that focused less on the world changes and more on Fluttershy’s efforts to save Discord. There are scenes being mentioned here, scenes that could have provided great examples of the struggle Fluttershy is going through if they were given in detail rather than as ‘after the fact’ extrapolations. Those scenes could have made this story exponentially more emotional than they are here.
The only other issue: didn’t Twilight find that reformation spell in the library? Do you really expect me to believe there aren’t copies of it in other magic libraries? What, did the previous owner of the Golden Oaks happen to be an evil mind-controlling overlord in secret who made up the spell and then just left it there for anypony to find after the fact? Come to that, why was that spell lying around Twilight’s library in the first place?
With those issues being brought up, I still must confess to having liked this one. It’s a good bit of sadfic ‘what if’, with high emotions and strong character awareness. Not the first I’ve read to address this issue, nor the darkest, but certainly damning. Fluttershy has my sympathies.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
The Train Ride
50,013 Words
By Snuffy
Requested by Snuffy
Herman arrived in Equestria four years ago. He has no idea how or why it happened, but he’s long given up on ever seeing his wife and daughter again. Being in his sixties, he decides to settle down in the quaint, rural town of Rosewood and live out the rest of his life in peace. Then, out of the blue, Herman is summoned to Canterlot to meet with the Captain of the Royal Guard. Apparently, there’s something in the memoirs he tried to have published that is spooking the Royal Guard.
This may be one of the most unusual HiE’s I’ve yet to read. It doesn’t star a young man or woman going on an adventure and getting into a relationship with one or more of the author’s waifus. Our protagonist isn’t ambitious, he’s not an anti-hero. He’s not misunderstood and suffering from prejudice. No, he’s just an old man, old enough that having to travel on a train for two days is, by itself, a challenge.
The story is largely about who Herman is and his place in Equestria. Rather than try to hold our interest with adventures and mystery, this one is heavily character-centric, focusing on exploring not just our protagonist, but also the three Royal Guardsponies assigned to escort him. In this Snuffy excels, from the stallion who is fascinated by Herman’s ‘alien’ perspective to the mare who begins looking at him as a friend. Throw in some worldbuilding and theories about Equestria’s past.
Ah, but I lied, because there is one major mystery: when does this story take place? As the story starts, I assume it’s set early in the series, but with every chapter there’s a new reveal that makes my assumptions change completely. Every time I think I know, Snuffy drops some new tidbit of canon info and I have to rethink the timing of the story. Not only was this unexpected, it lended a bit of extra interest in the overarching story that helps it along, perhaps as a substitute for the lack of action. I don’t mind at all, and if the author did it on purpose then I applaud them.
Except the Shining Armor thing. That’s just dumb. You’ve already created four interesting original characters for this story, but instead of coming up with a fifth one you come up with this nonsense excuse to keep Shining Armor in Canterlot? Come on, Snuffy. You’re clearly better than this. Even if you intentionally did it to act as a sort of red herring, I don’t think it can be justified.
There’s also the fact that the story treats Equestria Girls as if it never happened, which I find to be a disingenuous solution to the problem of it and HiE at best. It took me a while to realize it was being treated that way, so I spent a good few chapters thinking maybe Herman was going to Canterlot because, surprise, we’ve got a magic mirror that can take you home! I’ve heard ignoring the existence of EqG is standard operating procedure for almost everyone who isn’t me and writes HiE, but I’d have appreciated a warning or something.
Still, this is about as solid an HiE as one could hope for. The protagonist is original, the characters are interesting, the story is driven by a combination of drama and background mystery, and the author uses the timing of the story in canon to great effect. I can think of no reason not to recommend it.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Beyond Achlys — Pretty Good
Sungaged
10,537 Words
By Summer Dancer
Sequel to Sunburned
Sunburst has decided it’s time to propose to Starlight.
I thought this story would reflect on the relationship between Starlight and Sunburst, generating a sincere case for them being together before getting to the engagement. Alas, Sungaged is a much shallower story than that, going straight to the proposal to the wedding to, at least briefly, living together. There’s nothing wrong with this, it’s just not what I hoped for.
What the story lacks in originality, it makes up for in comedy. I love how Starlight is perfectly calm and collected on her own wedding day while Sunset Shimmer and Twilight are emotional wrecks. Having Discord officiate the wedding was a nice touch, and I was especially amused by Luna’s little moon gag – even if I wonder how many thousands of ponies died from the resulting tidal waves.
Ignoring that Starlight’s wedding is slightly unusual given the nature of the characters involved, the story is largely just going through the usual wedding story motions. It relies heavily on the reader assuming that StarBurst is a thing, since it makes zero effort to justify the relationship (and, looking back on the other stories in this series, never has). Luckily, that’s an easy ship to put together, so I doubt this will bother too many, save perhaps those who prefer Starlight with Trixie or some other character.
The hopeless romantics will love the heck out of this. Those looking for something meatier in the character/relationship growth department may be disappointed though, so your mileage may vary. Ultimately, I think Sunburned was the best in the trilogy.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Sunburned — Pretty Good
Back Off — Worth It
Triggered — Worth It
Stories for Next Week:
To Thaw a Frozen Heart by itsyaboiross
Dear Princess Celestia... Signed, Rainbow Dash by AJtheRaven
16 Ways to Kiss Your Girlfriend by carcinoGenesis
I'm So Sorry! by RhetCon
Change by BleedingRaindrops
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Truth or Dare by ScriptScrolls
Readable Teaser by SamRose
The Titan's Orb by Old Man Dusters
Hot Cocoa is Illegal in Yakyakistan by Jack of a Few Trades
Rendezvous with a Batpony by Gulheru
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Ohhhhh shit, Titan's Orb's up next on the review list!
You're gonna be pretty surprised with the story that starts the Titan's Orb saga, I can gaurantee that!
Mortal has a sequel if you wanted to add that to your list, though it’s not marked as such.
- MLP: FiM
- Slice of Life
Centuries after the events of Mortal, Celestia struggles with a runaway child, a resentful Twilight Sparkle, and the looming threat of invasion.I am convinced that Terry Pratchett had at least one grandmother of that type to base Granny Weatherwax on. There's something about older women once they hit a certain age that makes the Grim Reaper take a detour around their houses. After dad died, my mom moved into town (across the street from us) and worked more activities than ever. She was probably 80 pounds sopping wet, but kept her garden until she died at 95, worked the Red Cross blood drives, Lutheran Ladies Aide, made cakes for funerals, et al... I can't tell you how many winter mornings my wife would say "Get up and go across the street to shovel your mother's driveway, because I can see her out there already."
Yeah, this is about what I expected in terms of your review. Glad to see you think I nailed down the dumb, schlocky B-movie/satire tone I was going for, as that was basically the whole point. That, and, again, as an excuse to write Ninja Slayer into something. God, if you watched anime, I'd go into this giant essay about why the show is the greatest thing, and that you should drop everything to go watch it immediately (subbed, the dub is terrible). But you don't, so I won't.
Still leaving this spoiler-free endorsement here for everyone else, though.
Yeah, Train Ride was real good. :D
Thank you very much for reviewing Blank! I'm happy that you liked it...it's the saddest fic I've written (most of my stuff is happier), and I'm surprised and happy to know how well it turned out.
I can't say much for choosing to follow the seasons, other than that it gave me a nice frame of reference when writing what would happen and what would change...but I do understand your point, how I could have (and should have) put at least a bit more focus into a shorter timeframe of Fluttershy's direct efforts to help Discord. If I ever do get around to expanding the story or writing a sequel, I'll be sure to put more focus on their interactions.
As for Twilight finding the spell...the only reason I have is that it's Twilight. She probably expanded the library's collection and bought the book with the theory behind the reforming spell out of curiosity...and if anyone could turn spell theory into application, it's her. But no matter how she found it, what mattered, in the end, was what she did with that knowledge.
Glad you enjoyed The Train Ride! It always amuses me that your feedback is so different from what I usually hear.
A little on the lazy side, yup. And a hefty amount of author bias since I love having Shining Armor appear in my stories. I do believe he is one of the most underrated characters. A great straight-man who can also be open, carefree, and funny.
I did notice the issue when a few people asked in the comments if EG was canon or not. There was a hint as far back as chapter one, as Herman explained how he had sent a letter to Celestia years ago and asked if travel between worlds was possible, and Celestia replied that it wasn't. Granted, that might not tell you much since Celestia may well have been dishonest in the letter, but I couldn't figure out any other good way of telling the reader in-story since there is no reason why the characters themselves would know about it. Could add it as a note below the story description I suppose.
Since you've said something similar twice now, I'll shamelessly recommend you check out Dragon is Good as well and see if we can't make that three.
5352731
media3.giphy.com/media/j2Z8ktYcHlTplAuIQf/giphy.gif
5352702
Already on my lists. Thanks for the heads up, though.
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Forget friendship, moms are magic.
5352722
There's always the question: is the author a newbie who doesn't know what he's doing, or experienced and just wanting to have some silly fun? In your case, it was pretty obvious which one it was. And like I said, I can't blame someone for wanting to do goof off every now and then.
I don't watch much anime now, but that doesn't mean I don't watch it at all. Heck, I practically grew up on the stuff. I may consider looking the show up.
5352803
In your defense, Hasbro did the illogical thing with the spell being in Twilight's library before you did.
As to the whole focus thing, I don't know that "shorter timeframe" is the point to take from this. The timeframe is fine. Heck, I'd say even following the seasons is fine, because in a way Twilight's fall that those elements chronicle is every bit as important, or at worst only slightly less so, than Fluttershy's attempts to help Discord. In fact, if you left all Twilight's parts intact, you'd be fine. It's just the feeling that we need to see more of Fluttershy's work directly rather than being told it happened after-the-fact.
5353125
As it so happens, I already have Dragon Greed is Good in my lists. Given it's on the RiL list, it's likely been on there for a while now. It'll likely take me a long while to get to it, though.
I remember that letter to Celestia asking about inter-dimensional travel. I also remember immediately assuming she was lying, that the mirror was intended as Top Secret, and she wasn't about to risk it being made public for one measly human. Of course, when the story showed how canon had progressed and clearly EqG had already passed, I then assumed Twilight was being left in the dark regarding Herman's existence for the same reasons. This obviously makes little sense when the Mane 6 are aware of it and Twilight keeps it in a not-very-secret location in her own castle now, but incompetence is a mainstay character trait for Celestia. It wasn't until they were practically at Canterlot that I formed the conclusion that, yeah, EqG probably doesn't exist in this AU.
You mentioned you favor Blueblood redemption stories. Do you have any solid recommendations off the top of your head?
5355092
Off the top of my head? No, but only because I can't recall the names. However, a quick look through my bookshelves reminds me of:
- MLP: FiM
- Dark
- Adventure
Blueblood is kidnapped, and dumped in an unfriendly neighboring country.This is the best story specifically related to Blueblood's redemption that I can recall. My review is here, should you wish to read it.
- MLP: FiM
- Romance
- Adventure
Rarity finds herself forced into an unlikely alliance when her airship crashes far from home.This story is really focused on Rarity, but Blueblood redemption is a major part of it, and it is all-around one of the best stories on the site. A shame the author abandoned the fandom without finishing the sequel. My review is here, should you wish to read it.
Cringe