Paul's Thursday Reviews CCXXII · 8:37pm Oct 1st, 2020
Hey, folks! Welcome to October. I would like some assistance related to that.
Every year around Halloween, my cousins and I get together for a few nights of appropriately themed activities. Movies, video games, whatever. It’s one of my favorite events of the year, as it’s the only chance I get to share my enjoyment of ‘dark’ material with someone else. This year I decided to try something new, something that will either get them into the spirit of things or annoy the heck out of them. Possibly both. Either way, I win. *best Discord grin*
The plan is to send them a video relating to the season every day from today until the 31st. I’ve already picked out 26 videos, including material from The Nightmare Before Christmas, one Let’s Play vid of Friday the 13th: The Game, and both Social Mediasochists. Also included are chapter-by-chapter audio readings of Silent Ponyville 2 (easily the best of the series), Forever Faithful, and Biblical Monsters. I also located the old A Colt Classic, the songs for Rainbow Factory and Pegasus Device, the Nightmare Night PMV (the 3D one), and killme2paza’s A Different View of Shyness and A Different View of Love.
And now I’m out of options. I need five more videos to complete the month, but I don’t really want to go scouring the interwebs for things I don’t know about that fit my criteria. Before I resort to that, I thought I’d turn to all of you. Got some thematic vids I can annoy my cousins with? It doesn’t have to be pony-related, nor does it have to be frightening. It can be anything, really; comedic, dramatic, actiony, whatever. So long as it fits with the Halloween holiday, it’s good. All I ask is that it be sourced from YouTube (for ease of sharing), and I prefer something under 20 minutes.
Heck, go ahead and just dump the vids in the comments section. The more the merrier!
Alright, let’s get to what I’m supposed to be using this blog for. Reviews!
Stories for This Week:
The Flower Mare by Flammenwerfer
He'll Never Leave Me by Draconian Soul
Princess of Friendship by Bad Dragon
"Not So Vile a Sin" by Multiversecruise
Black and White by Bluesparkks
The Shitting Circle by Mr V
Discovering Strength by cloudedguardian
Motherly by Trick Question
Freeze by BronyWriter
Forbidden Deeper by SaltyJustice
Total Word Count: 111,191
Rating System
Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 0
Pretty Good: 6
Worth It: 3
Needs Work: 1
None: 0
The Flower Mare
11,132 Words
By Flammenwerfer
The post-marked Cutie Mark Crusaders want a special flower arrangement as a centerpiece for their school project. As it happens, there’s a new flower mare in town, one who apparently sells more exotic pieces, so they go to give her wares a try. They meet Schneeblume, an Armaneian pony who moved into Ponyville mere months before her country finished fighting a terrible war…
This is a curious one, simple yet deep. The story is set in an AU where throughout the show there has been a World War I-style conflict raging in foreign lands. Schneeblume hails from one of the major players in that war, and has a very personal history with the conflict that, naturally, the CMC uncover. It ultimately ends up being a story about PTSD and self-healing.
I thoroughly approve. It’s not the most engaging of tales, and yet its approach seems original to me in terms of MLP fanfiction. I’ve seen plenty of stories try to go into PTSD and how war affects people, but never in quite this way, and certainly never from the perspective of the “enemy”. I also like that the story focused on a World War I-style event rather than a World War II-style, which people tend to focus on far more.
The only catch is that I feel the story focused far too much on the Big Reveal than on Scheeblume and her recovery. It creates this final image of the mare having overcome her burdens and found peace, yet the journey to get there is entirely glossed over. For this kind of theme, I’d argue that that journey is far too important to skim like this.
Luckily, there are several sequels that appear to go into greater detail on her recovery. I am very much looking forward to them.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
He'll Never Leave Me
2,287 Words
By Draconian Soul
This is exactly what you think it is.
Most of the story revolves around Pinkie’s history with Gummy. It’s told in that frustratingly distant manner of someone relating past events rather than letting us see them firsthand. Which I can understand, as doing otherwise might have made this story needlessly long. The story gradually winds down to where we all know these kinds of stories must go.
I am torn. On the one hand, I feel like the author did decently with the goal they had in mind. On the other, I find it hard to believe Pinkie would fall to this sort of self-delusion. On a third hand I metaphorically have, we’ve seen Pinkie talk to inanimate objects, so all bets are off. It’s annoying that I don’t like how this ended, but can’t think of any reason why beyond a gut feeling. If I had to pin my suspicions on something, I’d point to how this was written waaaay back in 2013, and my mind is stuck on the Pinkie Pie of Season 9. But even that’s an iffy excuse at best.
Regardless of my (probably) subjective perspective, I think most will approve of this, especially the sadficionados out there. There’s nothing wrong with how the story is written or the way it does what it does. As such, I’m fine with putting it on the middle ground. Odds are you folks will get more out of it than I did.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
Princess of Friendship
5,388 Words
By Bad Dragon
Twilight knows what’s best. So when she decides to take a shortcut that both Spike and Pinkie tell her is a mistake, they’re going to take that shortcut. Now she finds herself in a position where any action she might take will lead to her friends’ deaths. But that’s alright; she has an eternity to find a way to save them.
If Twilight can make an exit point literally anywhere, why can’t she make it in the space between the boulder and her friends and trade places with it? Not that I know that’s a solution, I’m just wondering what the answer would be.
This is a story with a very simple premise but quite the complex delivery. All you really need to know is that Twilight teleported to some ‘magic’ realm where she can stop time and try to figure out how to save her friends who are an instant away from death. Except the majority of the story is set after she’s already decided that her friends can’t be saved. In that point in time, she devotes a lot of time yammering on about magic mambo-jumbo that can be hard to wrap your head around.
In a way, that struck me as the story’s major flaw; it focuses too much on the technicalities of Twilight’s situation rather than what we really need to know: Twilight’s reaction to the fact she cannot save her friends. I suppose it makes sense, as this is Twilight and she tends to get technical, but I think that, in the heat of the moment, she’d find a way to explain it that doesn’t give Rainbow Dash a headache.
I like the idea behind the story, and the conclusion feels very Twilight, i.e. self-defeating due to a suicidal sense of nobility. But I just couldn’t get into the emotions Bad Dragon was trying to get out of it, and I think that stems entirely from the author focusing too much on the explanation rather than the characters. It’s not a bad thought exercise, but as I story I feel it needs a little more.
Bookshelf: Needs Work
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author! (And about time, too.)
"Not So Vile a Sin"
4,722 Words
By Multiversecruise
Oh, come on! You give us cool cover art like that and then don’t let it have anything to do with the story, not even in terms of friendshipping? Poor form, author.
This story is set in Runway City, a pegasus town that is devoted to fashion. But for Runway City, fashion shows aren’t scheduled events with polite and orderly displays. Pegasi are a confrontational people, and when they do fashion, they go at it like a battle. That means that Rarity has to improvise and act on-the-spot in order to rise to the challenges. No, not an ephemeral challenge of long-running effort, but literal challenges on the street from out of nowhere by ponies determined to prove themselves the better fashion icon.
I get the feeling Trixie would love this place.
This story was… interesting. In good ways, I assure you. I love the idea of a pegasus fashion city where fashion ‘battles’ can occur at any moment. It’s dynamic and fun and could make for an excellent, imaginative tale. Unfortunately, Multiversecruise bypasses all the things that could make this most interesting by focusing the story on a plot of misguided affection. Oh, don’t get me wrong, the two fashion battles we see Rarity go through are great.
But they’re also superficial.They’re flashy bits made to wow the reader, a backdrop to the real point of the story, which is Applejack’s cousin being improperly smitten with Rarity and taking the whole show seriously instead of as the act it is. The issue is made all the worse when Rarity, for no reason whatsoever, decides to ruin her career chances in Runway City by giving the girl a proper, if metaphorical, slap in the face at the worst possible time. She could have solved the problem in a hundred better ways, including visiting the mare in private to discuss the matter.
That’s one of the things that really bugs me; the story’s ending didn’t have to happen. Indeed, it only happened because the author decided it needed to be so to ensure Rarity made some kind of ‘sacrifice for the greater good’. Once again, superficial; the sacrifice means nothing if it wasn’t even necessary to begin with.
Multiversecruise tried to get by with a fascinating new setting, flashy ‘battles’, and a collection of pretty descriptions. It failed to distract me from the story’s issues. It’s a shame, too, because these elements could have been solid gold if accompanied by a strong underlying story. The theme is good. Yet I feel it would have been better to spend more time focusing on the sheer effort Ginger Gold was going through to appease Rarity. Just as important is the need to demonstrate how Rarity probably couldn’t have survived in Runway City in the first place, not without devoting the rest of her career to it.
Not a bad effort, especially considering I’ve never read this author before. But there are just too many issues, starting with the deceit that is the cover art. It may be interesting to those looking for some new concepts and who have a love for Rarity, but I just can’t buy that ending, and it is a big part of what ruins the rest of the story for me.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
Black and White
9,099 words
By Bluesparkks
Lyra receives a book, one written by a friend she once knew in Canterlot. In it, she learns of Octavia Melody, a frightened, troubled mare who never took the opportunity presented to her…
In this drama we discover the life of Octavia and, most importantly, how a single meeting with her classmate Lyra led to a change in perspective. It’s an unrepentant sadfic loaded with emotional impact, loneliness, and failure.
I loved the directing for this. Though the story in and of itself is nothing fundamentally original, the presentation more than makes up for it. It’s rife with thematic metaphors and vivid imagery, effectively pulling the reader in with its subtle intensity. It’s hard not to feel for Octavia as the story unfolds.
The only thing that stood out to me as a potential negative is how the author leans on solitary sentences like a crutch. Every other paragraph is followed with one of these. It’s a good methodology for emphasizing the given sentence but, like all literary tools, it can lose its effectiveness with abundance. Still, it’s a minor hiccup to what is otherwise an excellent piece.
If you like sadfics, Lyra, or Octavia, then you should absolutely give this a go.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
The Shitting Circle
3,612 Words
By Mr V
Anonymous asks to sit with the girls in the cafeteria. They mishear him though, and thus he finds himself attending a particularly unusual group bonding exercise.
I looked into this one out of sheer curiosity. While I find the concept… unappealing, the story reveals just how desensitized I’ve become to unappealing concepts. As the name implies, this is a story in which the Humane 7, and now Anon, get together in a private, outdoor setting and defecate as a group.
This comes with vivid depictions of the act in question, along with no small amount of awkwardness. Yet I wouldn’t call this pornographic, and there’s clearly a reason this doesn’t have a sex tag. The commentary for the story in the description is fitting. While it’s certainly strange, the practice apparently achieves the intended goal of driving the participants closer to one another.
As I said, I now see how desensitized I’ve become to these kinds of weird things. Scat is not even remotely a turn-on for me, but I never felt weirded out or disgusted by what I was reading. That may, however, be due to how Mr V writes the story, making it feel outright casual. If there’s anything I appreciate about this, it’s that it feels like the author had a specific moodset in mind when writing this and achieved it flawlessly.
I can understand why people might want to avoid this one. But those of you willing to risk it and accept some vivid depictions of a bunch of girls and one guy going to the bathroom in a literal circle around one another in the nude… well, you’ll either be disgusted, surprised, or both. I supposed ‘turned on’ is a fourth option; apparently this has that effect on some people.
I’ll rate it well. As quirky and odd as this premise is, I think it’s a good demonstration of what Mr V can do as a writer.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Sweet Little Lovely: A Gothic Romance — WHYRTY?
No Matter What They Say — Worth It
Discovering Strength
1,721 Words
By cloudedguardian
After walking out on a drunk and abusive mother, Scootaloo takes a walk along the edge of Ponyville to think. She’s ten years old, and all the other pegasus children of the town have left for flight school without her. Pondering her situation, she eventually comes upon a curious sight…
This is a very different story from the usual I’ve seen regarding Scootaloo and flight. This Scootaloo doesn’t strike me as particularly bitter or angry. Well, sure, at the start, but she just walked out on her mother after getting hit in the face, so of course she is. But she calms down with startling quickness and shifts over to other concerns. It paints Scootaloo as a more mature individual than I typically see, and I really like it.
It’s also interesting that this is the first time I’ve seen a story where Scootaloo ends up learning to fly from someone other than Rainbow Dash. cloudedguardian never bothers to say who this random Wonderbolt is, but it’s pretty obvious for anyone who knows the Wonderbolts even a little; it can only be one pony. The approach still wins, focusing on the mood at the cost of dialogue, a sacrifice that works strongly in the story’s favor.
It’s truly a shame this author abandoned the fandom years ago. I imagine they could have given us some amazing material.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
What Have You Done? — Pretty Good
Motherly
3,417 Words
By Trick Question
Requested by Trick Question
Queen Puparia needs at least one replacement queen in her hive at all times, just in case anything happens to her. So when a drone informs here that there is only one changeling princess grub left, it irks her something fierce. The normal, proper process for these things is to just murder the abomination! But no. This royal grub must survive, until a new one is hatched or Puparia herself dies. Loathsome though it may be, she might as well name the thing. ‘Chrysalis’ will do. For now.
This is the story of a mother who will do anything to ensure her children survive, and is all too happy to ensure ‘anything’ means filling them with as much hatred and cruelty as possible. Here we get to watch the ‘what’ and ‘why’ of Chrysalis in a way that is startlingly effective for how short it is. A combination of powerful characterization and solid timing make for a concise, powerful tale of a monster in the making.
Short and sweet. Chrysalis fans will love it.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Broken Symmetry — WHYRTY?
The Price of a Smile — WHYRTY?
Back to Normal — Pretty Good
Dead and Loving It — Pretty Good!
Flash in the Pan — Pretty Good
Freeze
4,302 Words
By BronyWriter
Requested by anonpencil
Apple Bloom wakes up one freezing winter’s night to see a light on at the CMC clubhouse and a voice in the distance begging her for help. A voice that sounds a lot like Scootaloo.
When this began, I was worried it was just going to be another ‘50 dreams in a row starring Apple Bloom’ story. I don’t know why, but I’ve encountered the theme of multiple dreams a lot, particular with Apple Bloom as the dreamer. Then we get to ‘inexplicable, intelligent monster impersonating friends’ idea, which is also nothing new. Then there’s the longer, third portion of the story that went exactly like I knew it would. At this point I’m just waiting for the story to end so I can—
…
That is not how I expected this to end.
This is definitely one of the better stories I’ve read by BronyWriter. Even if the first 4/5 of the story is everything I expected it to be, it makes up for it with solid writing and an ending that throws everything I thought I knew out the window. I have many questions and, yes, I am disturbed. I can’t help but think of a cat playing with a mouse; Apple Bloom can only last so long as she doesn’t become boring. It’s that kind of horror that leaves an unsettling weight in your gut for well after the last paragraph.
If you’re into horror, absolutely read this. My thanks to anonpencil for introducing me to it.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
No, I Am Not A Brony, Get Me Outta Equestria! — Pretty Good
One Word — Pretty Good
The Public Life of Sweetie Belle — Pretty Good
The Secret Life of Rarity — Pretty Good
This Day is Going to be Perfect — Worth It
Forbidden Deeper
65,511 Words
By SaltyJustice
Sequel to The Edge of Madness
And so we come to the last the Shadows series (as I am terming it now). Set an undisclosed time after the previous story, we find a Princess CadanceCadence who spends much of her time roaming the world in search of ‘shadows’. These beings, the villains of the entire series, are servants of an entity known as the Unmaker, the Big Bad to the Big Good of this universe. The story begins with a painful wallop: Cadence comes home just in time to witness Celestia stolen away and effectively killed by the Unmaker.
This begins a long journey. Cadence, Luna, and a select few others travel to the tomb where the Unmaker has been sealed for millennia, hoping to end it once and for all. They wanted to bring the Element Bearers, but apparently Twilight & co. figured out what was going on entirely on their own and got a head start. A big one.
Like so many of SaltyJustice’s works, this one is odd in its presentation. We begin with the heart wrenching move of Celestia being taken away from her sisters (in this story, the alicorns are true siblings, Cadence included). You’d think this is a terrible thing, something that would weigh heavily on all their minds. Indeed, in the first few scenes, it is. Then the characters are making jokes and thinking silly thoughts and you’d be forgiven if you forgot that Celestia being taken by the darkness was ever a thing worth worrying about. What, time is of the essence? Yeah, yeah, sure, but can we take a detour so we can get some candy? I really want some candy.
I have no grasp of this author’s emotional logic. Things are only important in the instance where they are happening, and then we can forget all about them. There are long stretches where you might even forget that Twilight & Co. are supposed to be on a similar adventure nearby facing unknown horrors. Things that should pervade the story are overlooked save for a brief mention here or there, just to make sure you recall that they were once a thing.
Then you get that ending. Which was… uh… a thing. If you’re the type who wants to know what happened and why, you will be sorely disappointed. The big finale event is literally just Cadence sitting in an abandoned theater editing a film reel. It makes about as much sense in context as it does out of context. None of this is helped by the author’s frustrating habit of ignoring narration when any conversation is being had, not enough to be talking heads but certainly enough to ruin any emotional output the dialogue might have possessed.
And yet I am not unhappy with the story as a whole. It has interesting characters and some fun action sequences. The overall idea is creative and decent enough for worldbuilders. It does require some thorough awareness of the past stories, but if you’ve gotten this far then you should have no problems enjoying this one.
Certainly not a great story, and a questionable end to an otherwise nice series, but not bad on the whole.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Effigy of Anarchy — Pretty Good!
Shadows Watching — Pretty Good
The Edge of Madness — Worth It
Stories for Next Week:
Sleepless by Samey90
Perfectly Natural by James Pwyll
Doctor Caballeron and the Convention of Consternation by Tigerhorse
Macaroni Noodle Star Charts by Heartshine
Pegaspies by lillytheomegawolf
Canterlot Dreamin' (On Such a Winters Day) by SleepIsforTheWeak
Progress by The Wizard of Words
Shoot for the Moon by Trick Question
Winter Heat by Trick Question
The Order by Mark Garg von Herbalist
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I'm glad you liked Motherly! I hope you understood the closing line.
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If anyone didn't, they really need to work on their plot comprehension.
Combing through my subscriptions, I have a few on-theme suggestions. Gaijin Goombah has a series of analysis videos examining the origins of various Yokai (mythical Japanese monsters of reasonable size), so you can probably pick on of those. Then there's Terrible Writing Advice, master of satire, who made this video last year:
And, saving the best for last, is this exercise in out-of-nowhere body horror:
Oooh if the goal is to annoy your cousins I think I've got a great one: the SNL haunted elevator sketch
Also thanks for doing these reviews btw. Especially this year a large part of what I've read has been because of your recommendations, and I found every single one of those story enjoyable at the least.
EY MY BOY FLAMMMM
So I have to assume that you also read Sweet Little Lovely, checked out the author's gallery, went, "Oh god, why?" and clicked read later. <.<;
I think I can safely pass that one by now, thank you.
Have you thought about the song This is Nightmare Night by PrinceWhateverer?
Whoa, wonder of wonders! I've read 5 of these, including the first 4 in a row. It had me wondering if they were taken from a list of recommendations I'd made for you years ago, but several are too new, and not all are ones I actually would recommend.
"The Flower Mare" was a nice idea, and I get that Schneeblume might be pretty understanding about what the girls were up to, plus she might not want to make a scene for fear of encouraging any others to look into her past. But still, I found it implausible that she wasn't at least a little angry with the girls. They visited her under false pretenses, then went into her closet, found a secret hatch, opened a chest they found inside... basically, a heap of very invasive behavior that would even be bad in a "the end doesn't justify the means" sense, but especially since Schneeblume should feel very put upon. However, the biggest issue for me was that it was using a limited voice and kept hopping around to all the different perspectives. It came so close that I still have to give the author props for a good plot and OC, but the jumpy perspective had me constantly hitting speed bumps.
"He'll Never Leave Me" does make you accept a rather oblivious Pinkie, but perhaps she's gotten a little schizophrenic? Still, I would have appreciated some more about what her friends were doing. Told as it is from Pinkie's perspective, she's not necessarily going to understand their actions or motives, but the reader can still understand what she doesn't. Still, everything her friends did seemed geared more toward enabling her than trying to snap her out of it, and that was a bit hard to buy.
For "Princess of Friendship," you had pretty much the same reaction I did. Lots and lots of technical explanations that don't end up mattering much and all the key moments described after the fact.
I liked "Not So Vile a Sin," but it did feel like it really short-changed the romance angle. It was a pretty shallow take, so that we have to accept the lovers just because the narrator says so, not because it's demonstrated why they're a good match. It also take a vaguely omniscient voice until Applejack's part, then it suddenly sounds very much limited and hops around a bit. That's a common issue for inexperienced authors (it sure was with me).
And I had pretty much the same reaction to "Freeze" as you did. It's pretty obvious what's going to happen, but you don't mind because the writing is nicely atmospheric, and then you get to the end, where it takes a very unexpected turn. This was a good one, and agreed it's probably my favorite of the things I've read by him.
Three Trick Question stories queued for two consecutive weeks
The video thing is a cool idea! This is a creepy stop-motion short film I quite enjoy.
The other thing that came to mind was Bloodborne, which has horror-inspired aesthetics ranging from Gothic to Lovecraftian, and some of the more grotesque creatures I've seen in video games. There're a handful of let's plays of it out there too, but the one I enjoyed tended to go well over 20 minutes.
I'll repost what I responded to you here:
Hey thanks man! Loved what you had to say, and had very valid criticisms.
A bit of a giggle regarding what you mentioned: the 'brevity' in which I addressed her 'recovery,' actually, was for one reason: I intended this to be a one and done. But I had so much fun writing it that after a while I decided to expand the universe... so some thigns don't seem to exactly 'fit' as well from the framework of the first story. If you read the further sequels, you'll notice that the last scene of the first story isn't exactly 'necessary' anymore, as that's how I was supposed to wrap up the universe lol.
Thanks for reading, and your thoughts!
Oh and by the way 5368736, funny you mention that again, that very criticism you brought up to me made me take an EXTREMELY hard look at my previous works, and has made me VERY conscious of this habit since, and I've gone through painstaking efforts to limit and cease hopping so liberally between perspectives--when it's not necessary of course--since you mentioned that. So, thank you!
Glad you enjoyed.
I did love how people reacted to the ending, and, if I do say so myself, I think I got the cold part down.
Thank you for the great review of Princess of Friendship. You're right about everything, of course.
You know how the saying goes 'show, don't tell'? Well, I was trying to enact a third option. By defining the situation, the feelings of the character in that particular situation would be unavoidably obvious.
And to answer your question, there's no time for Twilight to do anything in the real world. And it's her personal space, so only she can exist within it. Everything else is just conjured matter.
5368736
Thank you for taking the time to read this old story of mine!
I'd like to give some context into why I wrote the romance subplot the way I did. You and Paul are both correct to say that I was a new writer at the time I wrote this story, but what you might not have caught on to was that in writing this I was also committing what I now consider to be a very new-author-style of mistake:
"Not so Vile a Sin" is secretly a fixfic.
There was a popular story by a very popular author on this site that involved a skilled but reclusive artist becoming infatuated with Rarity after meeting her only once at the canterlot bazaar. After hearing that she would only date a great artist he kept creating painstaking works of art and presenting them to her publicly to impress her.
She would then keep finding art-related excuses to turn down the romantic advances of this stranger, and those excuses became less and less believable over time but she was too proud to simply tell him she just wasn't into him and it had nothing to do with his artistic skill.
This story painted the artist as the victim and Rarity as the villain for effectively leading him on and being too arrogant to admit it. This just seemed very unfair to my younger self. So I wrote this story and titled it "Not so Vile a Sin", from the Shakespeare quote:
Since I so sympathized with someone presented as having too much arrogance and self-love.
I intended the story to have similar beats to the story that had made me so angry, but it would focus more on Rarity's perspective, and how unfair it was that an unwanted suitor kept demanding over and over that she either return their affections or publicly lose a treasured part of her self-image.
I believe a lot of the clumsiness of the story are due to me trying too hard to fit in and deconstruct plot elements from that story.
Anyway thank you again for reading! I'm glad you both found some parts of the story to like, even though you rightfully called out the issues!
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Oooh, interesting stuff! Thanks, guys, I shall investigate all of these and see which ones will work for my purposes.
5368593
Good to know people are getting something out of these reviews!
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Not really, no. I looked through the gallery and saw the praising commentary, which appeared so out-of-place with the apparent content, and was curious.
It'll take a lot more than that to get a significant reaction from me.
5368736
That's unusual, indeed.
I see where you're coming form with The Flower Mare, but the perspective thing didn't bother me as much as it probably should have. Even if it was egregious at times. I absolutely get what you mean about Schneeblume's weak reaction to the girls' behavior, though. It struck me as really odd, too. By the time I finished the story, though, I'd largely forgotten the issue.
Have to agree 100% on He'll Never Leave Me. The whole thing just felt a little too unbelievable for me.
I'm not sure I get your argument for Not So Vile A Sin. The story wasn't really a romance. It might have been if it had been told from Ginger Gold's perspective. But no, it was told from Rarity's, so there was no romance at all, and as such no "love" to exist for the author to "just say so". Oh, sure, Ginger was smitten with Rarity, but that never felt like love, only the infatuation of a youth who didn't understand that their interest was more lust than anything. I never got the impression that Multiversecruise needed to justify that.
5369017
That's an interesting angle I certainly wasn't expecting. That said, I'm pretty sure you could have handled the "deconstruction" points without making a sacrifice for the overarching story. Still, at least you're aware of the issues, and hopefully have learned from them. And I absolutely agree with the intended message.
Here is one classic I like, though it really depends on your tolerance of scary things.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNbJE0y29_c
And this one is about 20 minutes long, but it is both pony, comedy and horror related, though again, more of a classic of the fandom.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYYyMH1qSAA
Good luck with your cousins and I hope this helps.
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I shall take a look at them soon. Thanks for the suggestions!
5369024
I would just think that Ginger would have at least expressed some things she liked about Rarity rather than leaving it feeling like a superficial infatuation. Since it's in Rarity's perspective, she wouldn't be privy to those unless Ginger herself made them known, and real people wouldn't necessarily do that, but real people aren't going for literary entertainment either, so it might have helped give it all some more depth. But then when Rarity obviously takes a liking to Applejack, she very much could express why—except the story decides to jump to AJ's perspective then, and we don't get any of her side of it either. That all amounts to the various romantic interests not having any depth to them. Plus Ginger dealing with rejection happens off camera, and we only get an after-the-fact summary of it from AJ, which felt like a weak resolution for the story's main conflict. (It's been long enough since I read the story that I don't actually remember it at all. I'm just going off notes I have from it.)
5369266
I got the impression Ginger's infatuation was superficial. In fact, that felt like a major point of the entire ordeal, that there literally was no depth to her interest and Rarity knew it.
It's been so long since I read the story that I forgot all about the RariJack element it may have had, so I can offer no arguments in that regard. Although I will note that if I, who wholeheartedly, wisely, and accurately (
) endorses that ship as the OTP, don't recall anything about it, then you're probably right.
5369266
Hey, I'm the author here to answer questions if you're really curious about anything!
In the story, Rarity only pretended to be interested in Applejack for a single scene in chapter 2 to make a point about how unpleasant it is to have an unwanted suitor. Its possible I did not communicate that well enough?
There is no canon couple at the end of this story: the only interested party was Ginger and I intended the moral of the story to be that her infatuation was unhealthy and undesirable, for reasons that I elaborated on in my previous reply to you. That being said you can of course still find those storytelling choices to be bad, and the end product an unsatisfying story! I'd agree, to be honest.
Just wanted to clarify the intention behind it!
5369467
Ah, yes, now I remember that scene. It was one of the story's better moments, in my opinion. I can't speak for others, but I understood it perfectly.
5369266
I was wondering why you mentioned a RariJack ship that I didn't recall existing in any way. This is why; there wasn't one.
5369480
I couldn't say what made me think it was there, since I haven't read the story in 3 years and I'm not going to read it again just to see. I do wish we hadn't just gotten an "and this is what happened with Ginger" from AJ as the denouement, though.
5369516
I have to agree with that point, at least.
5369024
I read the Flower Mare saga a while back, and now that you mention it, yeah...If I was Schneeblume, I would be very cross with the girls digging around in my private possessions like that. Anyone else in Ponyville is at least used to the shall we say "overly enthusiastic" behavior of the CMC, they don't MEAN to cause harm/trouble, but Schnee is brand new to town. This was, if my memory serves me correctly, one of the first direct war stories. I've read numerous stories where war is an element, but I can't recall very many others prior to this one that was tied in with a REAL war if you catch my drift. I also agree, from my limited memories of the exact text, that it had flaws. That being said, and perhaps I'm just really easy to please, but if a story makes sense and makes me feel something for the character(s) in question (sad, happy, angry, laughter) then it is more or less successful in my book.