I write pony words. Millions of them. Some people actually think they might be worth reading. I am very thankful for that. Also, I have a Patreon now?
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Super Best Friends388 stories ·16 members
Sometimes I just hated going to school with all of those stupid foals. None of them were as pretty or awesome as I was back then. They all thought that I was really mean to them, but what did they know?
At least, that's what I thought at the time. One day I had to have a talk with Ms. Cheerilee about it, and I didn't like what she had to say...
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An interesting little story.
This should be expanded upon.
50 stories strong, well done man, great story by the way
4048188 How?
To be honest I'm slightly disappointed and confused with this story. First the premise has me confused at what your trying to get at with this story. The process in which you wrote the story was great. I'm just confused as to if this is a cliffhanger for another chapter, but it says completed. Needless to say I won't dislike, but I won't like either. Above average but nonetheless confusing
Bout time that little twerp got what she had coming to her. Even if it's in fanfiction.
This really feels like it's missing a conclusion.
4048196 What I'm getting at is a story where DT finally gets her comeuppance in a way that really strikes home to her. Remember the very first line where she says this happened years ago, showing that what happened in the story really did affect her. It's not ridiculous to think that both her and Silver Spoon were expelled after the events in the story. It's DT looking back on one of the defining moments of her life. Think of the symbolism of the last few lines. Her tiara, her crown and her symbol that she is better than everyone else, fell off and rolled away and to that day she didn't care. The pedestal she had put herself on was broken, and she really, truly understood the consequences of her actions.
I dunno, what would another chapter do?
4048231 Like what? Her saying "and yeah, I got expelled." Isn't that fairly obvious? I think any definitive conclusion would have hurt the story, personally. I can't really think of any additional stuff that I would be happy with.
I dunno, what else do I need to say?
no i cant feel bad for that stupid dimand teira but i kinda do, well played sir well played
4048188
Agreed. Chapter 2 please?
You could go on to explain what happened to her after that day. What did she do next? Who did she become?
4048238 that clears it up. Looking at the symbolism it makes sense, although a conclusion stating what and how she's doing now might work. Although looking back the ending can make sense, but it leaves many unanswered questions.
I can't help but feel like this story is missing a chapter.
please come up with another chapter for this.
I sometime wish I had Diamond and Silver Spoon for daughters so I can help change there prospective on life its sad the why the was brought about.
Oh and this story was awesome and I thought I was going to cry.
This was absolutely amazing. It got deep into the emotions of the characters, and there were no glaring errors. I enjoyed reading this. Thank you for posting!
The story is awesome, and I reall like the symbolism at the end. But it does needs a cleaner ending. Not another chapter, just something to tie the conclusion back in with the primary message.
Looks good. Can't wait to read it.
4048188
4048196
4048231
4048291
4048312 Okay, I added a little more for a conclusion.
4048332 I added a touch more. Re-read the ending.
4048238
Sorry for butting in to this convo. But yes please add another chapter
.
Although being more serious, this was a good breaking DT story, although I feel a little sad that we only get one part of when things hit her. The symbolism was great, the characterization was well done, and you gave a good new dimension to DT. Although the ending felt a little cut off / abrupt. Good fic though.
Hm... very open-ended. I know you tried hard to actually put something into Tiara that would at least make her somewhat likeable. But shes not. She's just not. Tiara is one of those people that can do nothing but destroy everything around them. She is nothing but a hazard and flat out refuses to differ. Dead wood. The Ponyville school says goodbye, Tiara. Never come back. Best of luck trying to survive in a world that is all about social capability when you have none.
maybe it could return to a monologue from the future explaining that she had finally understood her actions for the less adept readers (like me?)
4048347
That's much more conclusive, very nice.
That was pretty awesome! I want more, but it seems complete as-is.
Hm, one possibility would be to have a short time-skip and see how...other things either fall apart or fall in into place.
How does Spoon get along by herself at the school without Diamond to start the fights? She's not an instigator, but a follower.
What does DT do, if anything, to make things right?
What would the CMC do regarding the whole situation, after learning what happened to DT for her punishment?
Would Filthy Rich fight the expulsion? Would he just give in and assist with the punishment, or does he truly believe that his little filly can do no wrong?
Stuff like that. We know what the next step is, but what ahppens after that, and how would this ripple out? It seems like DT's side of the story is over, but how would such an event effect ponies around her?
This should be featured!
... First?
In seriousnessness: Good story! Kinda feel like it needs a bit more at the end though, since DT is obviously telling this story as an adult. I think a small thing about why she's telling this story could bring out some more impact,but regardless it was still good.
Question: where is her dad? Usually these types of discussions have to have a parent present.
4048404
tis
That was awesome, you made DT a redeemable character, good job! And very well written aside from a few punctuation errors!
I didn't understand why you ended the story the way you did until I read some of the comments. Well done, as always.
4048341 Much better, it's more of a conclusion.
Missing quotation.
That's the only mistake I spotted.
Great story, and a nice look into DT's mindset and the harmful effects of teasing, even if they are "just words".
One of my old teachers in high school said this once: "The biggest lie ever told is 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. Words are powerful. Words, if said in the right way by the right man, can take more lives than a war ever could."
I think he was semi-right about the last bit.
Again, great story.
I came across this when I read it:
I hope it's no problem, it was a very minor mistake and the only one I saw when I read it.
I would say that this was a pretty enjoyable story to read.
Now I feel bad for DT
*5 seconds later*
Well, she finally got that words can hurt. That's something. She never did before.
That being said, what comes between her getting the Order of the Boot and the present day would be an interesting thing to see.
4048374 Likable? I didn't do jack that made her likable. You missed the point. The point isn't that she's a tragic soul that doesn't deserve what she got. The point was that she totally deserved what she got because she was a cruel jerk who did need something to show that she was in the wrong here and she got it.
I at no point wanted to make DT likeable. I wanted her to understand that her actions had serious consequences not just for others, but for her too. Very different from likeable.
4048502 Punctuation errors like what?
4048467 Her dad didn't drop her off at school, and Cheerilee wanted to talk to her as soon as possible because one more incident and she was gone. She couldn't wait for her father.
4048446 Re-read the ending.
4048361 Re-read the ending. I added a little more.
GAH! That ending though.
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I am soooo not complaining about length but a part two would be so awesome! This was a great story and deserves another part!
Cool read, it's a very realistic look at DT's psyche. One constructive comment I'd have is that Cherilee's lecture comes out of nowhere - why did she pick that day and time to call out DT on her rude behavior? She must've done something really bad to prompt that.
4048670
I have one word for you:
D'awwwww!
.
_____________________________
Now that was an ending. It's good to see that DT is helping her little daughter to be a better pony than she was. I'd actually love to see that DT grow up from that event onwards. But with all the work you have with A Shadow Hangs Overhead, and the [don't know if it's dead] Gwenwyn / other projects a follow up may not be possible. But nonetheless, that ending made this fic. Thank you.
4048475 Is that your answer? Hmm....Tentacles?
4048700 Isn't it fairly obvious what she did? I mean, DT told that story for a reason.
SEQUEL NOW YOU COMMUNIST FUCKER
4048711 DT's behavior in the show is pretty constant. I don't think it necessarily had to be any one specific event. What brought on Cheerilee's lecture is that she talked to the school board and they recommended that she expel DT.
4048740 I'm fascist, thank you very much.
4048746 SEQUEL ANYWAY