Paul's Thursday Reviews XCIV · 10:19pm Nov 16th, 2017
Well, crud. Here I was planning to release a story this week, and I screwed up by neglecting the cover art. Shameful display! Oh well, that should be the last interruption.
Meanwhile, the last chapter of Caballeron's book in Order of Shadows is about ready for prime time. This is unfortunate for the dozen or so of you actually reading that story, as it means it'll be going on hiatus for a little while while I work on some other projects. On a positive note, the conclusion of Caballeron's story opens up a slot for a new big project, and I decided months ago to focus it on an original fiction. This may be of particular interest to those who participate in the WriteOffs, as my intention is to create a proper novel based on the general concept of my Fortune entry back in March. I already have a basic idea of what I want to do with it. The problem I face now is narrowing it down and not letting my ambition get in the way again.
I also need to prep another short story. My options include the fourth (and perhaps final) expansion of the Generosity series or an entry in this contest. I had other options, but I dunno if they're worthy of my time. I suppose we'll just have to wait and see what I go with.
Oh, and no reviews next week. Break week and all.
Enough jibber jabber. Reviews!
Stories for This Week:
A Millennium of Solitude by DSNesmith
The Haunting in Ponyville by JasonTheHuman
Pinkie Pie and the Quest for Missing Smiles by Venates
Where Your Heart Is by Cloudy Skies
A Song of Storms: Snow and Shadows by The 24th Pegasus
Total Word Count: 310,065
Rating System
Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 2
Pretty Good: 3
Worth It: 0
Needs Work: 0
None: 0
A Millennium of Solitude
16,521 Words
By DSNesmith
Ah, DSNesmith. The mind behind the awesome and awesomely epic The Age of Wings and Steel. Long have I wanted to read another of their stories, but alas, they don’t have much. In fact, this author only has three stories, and the third may never be completed. How fitting it is, then, that this is so worth the wait.
There’s always been a bit of a debate about how literal the situation for Luna was when the show states that she was trapped ‘in’ the moon. There are many who look at the idea of her being ‘on’ the moon as the stupidest concept ever. They’re wrong, of course, and this story gives a wonderful example of why. A Millennium of Solitude is exactly what you’re probably thinking, tracking Nightmare Moon’s time on the surface of the moon. With some slight adjustments to our established knowledge of the heavenly body based on some great worldbuilding appropriately slipped in, we get to watch as the years grind away for a pony very much alone.
DSNesmith comes through wonderfully in this one, giving us a first-person perspective that follows through with denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It’s a depressing, heart wrenching scenario accompanied by hunger, thirst, loneliness and the ever-looming threat of madness. And when it seems like Luna has fallen far enough, you realize she’s not even a century in, and things keep going downhill.
The end result is a powerful story that puts Luna’s past in a very different light. I had my own idea to do something similar to this once, but I see no reason to now; DSNesmith’s done more than enough.
I do have some reservations. For one, why is this story told in a journal format? It’s not like Luna’s actually writing all of this down. And the dates? I seriously doubt she’s of the mind to keep track of that kind of thing, even acknowledging that she can probably make a fairly accurate guess based on the positions of the stars. As such, the entire format seems a little ridiculous.
But, the formatting serves a purpose, and it is a good one. Without it, we might not have been so effectively put in touch with Luna’s emotional state. Plus, the dates provide us a proper view of exactly how bad things are as we watch Luna scrounge up a sliver of hope and know, with horrible certainty, that it’ll never last for the amount of time she has left. So even if the choice of formatting seems odd, it does achieve what DSNesmith needed, and for that I am willing to let it pass.
Besides, this author clearly understands how to write a journal-style story. That is a skill so rare that I’m willing to forgive a lot based on it alone.
To sum up, A Millennium of Solitude is an emotional, sad story that grips the reader from beginning to end, and I highly recommend it. DSNesmith has pulled off another one, and I dearly wish we could get more from this author.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
The Haunting in Ponyville
18,099 Words
By JasonTheHuman
That was not at all what I expected. To be fair, I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect, but what happened was not amongst my list of potential possibilities.
This story, told from Bon-Bon’s perspective, focuses on her and her roomie Lyra as, for no determinable reason, they receive a visit from something they can’t explain. Is it a ghost? A curse? What does it want? And why did it decide to show up now, when they’ve been there for years with no problems? Bon-Bon finds the whole mess frustrating. Lyra thinks it’s the coolest thing ever, especially with Nightmare Night right around the corner.
This story dances on the edge of being Weird. We are never given answers to most of our questions, but still have a front row seat to Bon-Bon’s increasing (and increasingly disturbing) encounters with an entity that seems far more interested than her than it is in Lyra. Honestly, that’s the part that most held my interest: why was it Lyra never can get front row seats to this thing? If I regret anything, it’s that we didn’t get an answer to that curiosity.
The Haunting in Ponyville is a well-paced, fun and, above all else, strange piece of fiction. It may frustrate those looking for answers or some kind of solid resolution, but it will be great for the lovers of the dark and mysterious (of which I am one). Add to that a healthy, not overbearing dose of comedy in the form of Lyra, her antics and the consequences of said antics and you have something definitely worth reading.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Pinkie Pie and the Quest for Missing Smiles
12,804 Words
By Venates
Recommended by Pascoite
Ah, another one that didn’t quite meet my expectations, but in good ways.
In this whimsical, bittersweet story, Pinkie goes shopping one day to find that every pony all across Ponyville is miserable. Even worse, she is unable to make anypony happy. Not a one. She comes to the conclusion that all the happiness in Ponyville has been stolen, and so goes on a quest to get that happiness back!
Pinkie Pie and the Quest for Missing Smiles is an endearing little romp that has Pinkie passing through a lot of familiar sites from the show, including Rainbow Falls, the Fire Swamps and the Frozen North. Along the way she and Gummy makes a few friends, learn a bit about surviving on their own and, ultimately, come to terms with the fact that sometimes it’s okay to be sad. Starring a delightfully voiced Pinkie Pie and ending in a surprisingly down-to-earth lesson for the party pony, this was a treat.
Buuut…
There are caveats. First and most obvious is that this is story is 100% Pinkie Pie, with all that entails. I know there are some weirdos out there who just don’t like her, and those people should steer clear.
Second, and a much smaller complaint: Pinkie ended up at the Rainbow Falls Exchange. There is always a princess present to act as judge at the exchange, as noted by Twilight in the show. I know it’s subjective, but I really think a cameo from Celestia, Luna or Cadance would have really enlivened that chapter.
Third, and perhaps the most important issue: the ending comes out of left field. Now, granted, when one sees that an entire town is sad, one can expect there to be a reason for it. But we are not given so much as a hint to that reason, which of course leads us to assume that Pinkie’s idea, crazy as it sounds, may hold weight. So when the truth comes out in the last chapter, I was left with an overbearing sense of WTF?
Hints could and should have been made. Without them, we have no reason to see this coming, and with no way of seeing this coming the entire story almost feels like a giant, pointless tangent to the real issue. In other words, not providing clues to the reality of Pinkie’s situation weakened the impact of the ending significantly. I wish I could have looked at the ending and said “Oh, suddenly all the stuff that’s been going on makes sense!” But I couldn’t, because again, the one and only hint is so vague as to make the entire rest of the story seem completely unrelated, even though it is.
Still, for what this story is, I am pleased. Just the nicely depicted, not overdone Pinkie Pie made it worth my time. If you’re a Pinkie and Gummy fan, you should definitely give this one a go.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Where Your Heart Is
32,160 Words
By Cloudy Skies
Requested by SleepIsforTheWeak
When a severe drought threatened the Apple Farm, Rainbow Dash sacrificed her cloud home to avert disaster. In the meantime, she’s decided to crash in Pinkie’s room at Sugarcube Corner. Three months have passed since then, though, and Rainbow still hasn’t moved out. She knows it’s about time, but… she doesn’t want to. Why doesn’t she want to? Suddenly, Rainbow feels like she’s been trapped into something she doesn’t understand and, in typical Dash fashion, her solution is to avoid the problem entirely.
Pinkie’s having none of that.
This was an endearing story that both acts as a RainbowPie romance and a brief examination of Rainbow. It features some excellent characterization of Season 2 RD and Pinkie, and the other members of the Mane 6 play their roles remarkably well. I am thoroughly impressed with Cloudy Skies’ depictions of everyone involved. I am especially fond of this depiction of Rainbow being scared of confinement and a lack of freedom. A little common, perhaps, but overall excellent in form.
Pinkie is also nicely shown, even if she’s a little too silly for my tastes. It’s enough to be annoying on occasion, but at the same time it fits nicely with the style of the show. Writing Pinkie well is always a great challenge, and I think this author did her justice. Couple that with a some entertaining antics both romantic and otherwise and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.
If I had to complain about anything at all, it would be the decision made by the Cakes at the end of the story. It sorta comes out of left field, and I can’t help thinking the story would have been better suited if some sort of foreshadowing had been made in this regard. It casts the epilogue in an unpleasant light compared to the rest of the story. But again, that’s my only complaint, and it’s barely pertinent to the main story anyways.
Well paced and fun, this story was certainly worth my time. Give it a go if you’re interested in some tame, well-conceived RainbowPie.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
A Song of Storms: Snow and Shadows
230,481 Words
By The 24th Pegasus
Sequel to A Song of Storms: Of Skies Long Forgotten
Eighteen years old? I am thoroughly impressed.
Of Skies Long Forgotten was a strong, if somewhat fast-paced, epic about the rise of Commander Hurricane and the fall of the ancient pegasus empire of Cirra. When the story ended, Hurricane had established a new pegasus home in the lands across the sea, where his people formed a compact with the already present earth ponies and unicorns. Taking place roughly two decades later, Snow and Shadows follows Hurricane as the Great Blizzard strikes, the relations among the three tribes is strained nearly to the point of war, and Crystal Warlords seek to topple the Compact.
I’m just going to come out and say it: this story is vastly superior to its predecessor in every conceivable way. Solid pacing, clean writing, constant character building, sound worldbuilding, epic battles both large and small, loathsome villains, likeable heroes, the list goes on. The story shows a detailed and realistic recreation of why the three tribes fell into conflict, the journey of the six heroes West to find new lands, and the fighting both within and between the tribes. It even throws in an entirely believable side element of the crystal ponies and the civil war that was raging amongst them at the same time. The scope is vast and the delivery rock solid.
And to add on to that, we also have the presence of Twilight and Rainbow Dash, who are learning about these events through an ill-planned expedition to the old Compact Lands and reading Hurricane’s personal accounts. This is far more competently done than it was in Of Skies Long Forgotten, which immediately forgot all about Twilight’s purpose in the story after only one chapter. And even better, The 24th Pegasus uses their presence as a tool to keep things going, putting Twilight and Rainbow in their own deadly situation that doesn’t end with the main story, thereby inviting readers to dive into the sequel for that little bit of closure. Well played, sir. Make no mistake, I will be reading more.
There are only two issues I found with this story. The first is that the fight scenes may be a little too detailed. The author goes through the trouble of writing out every blow, wing flap and dodge, which can make the fights tedious. In addition, while the author's efforts to keep the combat in line with pony physiology are laudable, there were a number of descriptions that left me wondering what exactly I’m supposed to be seeing. It’s not so bad once you learn to roll with it, but this is still an area that requires improvement.
The second issue I bring up only because I know some readers out there hate it: LUS. We are reminded with some frequency the colors of a pony’s coat, mane, armor, military rank, etc. In my opinion, this was done tastefully; just enough to remind us of the colors of these OCs (for example), but not enough to become burdensome. Mostly. Sometimes it came on a little thick. But not enough to be a serious detriment in my eyes. Again, I know some people out there go into conniption fits over the slightest hint of LUS, so I felt it warranted mention.
Other than that? Solid work. For years now, I have pointed to DSNesmith’s The Age of Wings and Steel as the ultimate and best Equestrian Historical Epic. Today, at last, I have found a story that I can safely say is equal to it, in presentation if not in scope. This is amazing work for someone so young, and I await more from this author with great anticipation.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
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I didn't get to say this in my Seattle's Angels review of Pinkie Pie and the Quest for Missing Smiles because it would have been a big spoiler, but I'm pretty confident that the whole story is a metaphor for the five stages of grief. Once I got to the ending, I thought over the rest of the story and it started lining up. So in a way, the ending isn't totally out of left field, but you've gotta be able to look at it in a certain angle.
Anyway, glad you got some enjoyment out of it regardless!
Re: Quest: When me and the RCL guys read this story, there was a lot of discussion about that ending. I remember one curator and I both praised the story for its gradual transition from whimsy toward its "twist" (be-quoted because it's not really a twist when it comes so gently and matter-of-fact-ly), while others felt it was really, really obvious what was going to happen from the very first chapter.
From your "out of left field" comment, I'm guessing you weren't in the "too heavily telegraphed" camp. But just so you know, some readers feel there was entirely too much presaging of what was to come!