6046169
That is not always going to work.

6046679 wow what will applejack new name going to been?

I see a Glimmer of an idea there?

A fair warning: This is going to be a rather harsh comment. I don’t blame you for choosing to ignore it.

I really like mind control stories, I also really like stories that involve certain transformations and demons. So this is exactly my kind of story, satisfying all my fetishes. Yet not every story that turns you on is also good one. Fetishes aside this is a rather boring story without any tension or interesting characters.

In one of your first comments you said that you don’t want this story to be “*ScrewScrewScrewOkayIWin*” but that’s exactly how it looks like right now. All the good guys did for the last 16 chapters was walking around aimlessly and immediately getting enslaved as soon as Lilith showed up. They never even came close to threating Lilith and her plans. They weren’t even a minor inconvenience. One would assume that they would at least wise up and stick together all the time at some point. Or call for help as soon as Lilith or anyone of the enthralled ponies show up, instead of just standing there and waiting what happens next. It’s like watching dumb characters in a horror movie getting killed – only less entertaining. Luna was the only one who at last made an attempt at stopping Lilith by giving the remaining Mane Six fake names as protection against her charm. Fake names that had zero effect on Lilith who could just seduce them as easily as before.

But hey, let’s be fair: This is a mind control story so nobody cares about the good guys that much. We want to see villains seducing and corrupting people. So how did the bad guy turn out?

Not much better, to be honest. Well there’s Lilith and… that’s pretty much it. As soon as a character joins the dark side she basically disappears from the story, occasionally showing up again for a sex scenes and then fading in the back ground again. Lilith does all the talk and (almost all) the seduction while the other characters are lucky if they get one or two generic sentences about how great it is to have lots of sex. Just look at Fluttershy for example. She was one of the first characters to be seduced by Lilith and had how many lines of dialogue so far? Two? Three? We get zero inside in their new personalities. Which is really sad because one of the most interesting aspects of this stories is to see characters falling to the dark side and how their personalities change accordingly.

The only one who got some spotlight besides Lilith is Twilight/ Midnight but all she wants to do is seducing ponies and having sex. She’s basically a Lilith clone. The last scene with AJ would’ve played out the same way if Twilight and Fluttershy had been replace with Lilith and Random Pony Slave #12.

As for Lilith herself, she could be a good antagonist but she lacks any depth. She just another MC protagonist who tries to conquer everything and turn everypony into her sex-slaves. Her past relationship with Luna seemed interesting and gave me hope that there was more to her. What if she had (and still has) genuine feelings for Luna? What if she was honest with Celestia during their talk in the past? Maybe she tried to integrate her Succuponies into Equestria but things didn’t work out? Perhaps Luna “betrayed” her by siding with Celestia and as a result of this she decided to just take over the country? But no! She was evil all along and played Luna like a fiddle right from the start. Wasted opportunity!

In the end I really really, really wanted to like this story. But it’s not offering me anything enjoyable besides satisfying my fetishes. Which is a real shame, because it could’ve been so much more.

Heh , didnt know AJ would be such a sub.
Shes cute like that though.

when are you going to make more chapters?

is chapter 14 is ready?

is chapter 14 is ready yet?

6749866 give him time

how is chapter 14 coming long?

It's been quite a while since I've seen this fic update. I hope it's not dead...

Are you going to make a next chapter yet?

When are you going to get back on working this story?

Succupony

No.

Dang, this is really good, don't leave us hanging like that.

This suddenly got weirdly popular.

When is the last time you have updated Lilith?

Did this story die..?

7744243
Dont let that stop you from writing it...

More than 3 years now... I think this one is officially dead... Shame, because I would really wanted to see this one complete.

I'll place it in tracking but it has been a long time

any idea when we can expect an update and new chapter?

Shame that this appears to be dead, the plot was getting extremely interesting and the clop isn't half bad either. I feel that this has potential if it's ever brought back.

This story is on my Tracking and Favourite list for a long time now, really wanted to see it complete one day... Really unique and awesome story from the very get go. Sometimes I wish for an artwork, would have been nice to see a picture of the First chapter and later on about Twilight/Midnight's Transformation as the story progresses.
Truely a great fanfiction that I really like.
Sometimes I was thinking about commissioning an artwork about what I said above (Twilight's transformation I mean)

Interesting story so far. Would like to know if/when it gets updated.