Bookish_Devil
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okay, interesting story so far
, but what POV is this in 
?
Great so far. ;)
Not a bad start, but you need an editor, and you need to decide if this is first-person or second-person. Good representation of Discord, as well.
you have caught my interest with this story
. I have to agree that you need an editor but I saw very few errors. I have read another story where a human becomes the new discord but that story was a bit fast paced and hasn't been updated since September 2012 so I cant wait to see where this story goes
Ok, this could become quite the kick ass fic, IF you pull it off, and I ohhhh so hope you do. I love rogue humans in Equestria.
drakath?
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTtj7yRX216mGnXQGsAUZiU3UEIWo1MhGG8FzpiAA6S91fY7v2rbP4jJVv2
Kind of fast paced. Need to slow it down and add more detail. Give the reader time to digest all that is happening. Would be nice to get some thoughts of his in text as well, so the events aren't just being described.
The idea is to tell us a story, not show us a story.
Also, commas are a thing. Please for the love of god use them. Your punctuality is driving a hot nail through my brain.
Good start, just needs an editor and a solid point of view. Other than that try to stay away from cliches and clop/gore. You might want to reconsider the mature/sex tags as these will turn away some people, or draw in the wrong crowd.
To beat the elements of harmony use human chaotic ideas.
Discord was meant to be enjoyed by kids but human chaos and imagination can theM.
oh chaos incarnate are we? shall he act for khorne? Nurgle? Tzeentch? Or *gasp* will it be Slaanesh?
Perhaps he will go another way and secure himself with a show of power? Or perhaps simply educate them on what chaos truly is so they have no reason to fear it?
I simply can't wait good sir.
Also read this in the chaos sorcerers voice. DO IT MORTAL!
Watch the youtube video "cows and cows and cows" and others by the uploader, then you will understand human chaos
This has quite piqued my intrest.....Im following it
Hey guy, I'm liking this story. I agree with everyone else that you need an editor/proofreader. I even volunteer myself, but there are groups that handle this sort of thing.
Followed, liked, wheee!
Looking good so far! Keep it up!
can't wait for next chapter!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently I'm doing something right half the people who read it put it in their favorites.
I'm going to try and update bi-weekly untill I'm more than five chapters a head of the last post.
116 as of the time this post went up out of 327
well you now have quite a bit riding on ya so dont screw up!
no pressure tho.
Somehow... I don't think Discord and the 40k chaos gods play for the same team. Discord isn't grimdark enough.
It's like they went to the same high school and the other chaos gods let Discord hang out with them just so they could have someone nearby to laugh at.
The narrative switches between first and second person several times...
Twilights element because it does say its the most powerful and once its gone elements can not be activated then again you could say this part for most every element but I find twilights to be most important
I don't know why, but I imagine his walking stick/cane looking like this:
static1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130708071432/warehouse13/images/5/52/416kl5Gef5L._SL500_AA300_copy.jpg
3524688 I noticed that too.
It would be a good idea to choose which one to stick with.
very nice.
Oi, still switching views. For the elements magic: why because insane twilight is best twilight. As for the element its self make it into to a cheese weel. Get this man some yellow dragon eyes we need to go full Daedra.
3524903
You're right about Twilight but not a cheese wheel.
3524914 but... bbut cheese for everyone.
So, the MC is the new lord of chaos...
i.imgur.com/HNcxB.gif
Now things are getting interesting.
3524688 Maybe he's doing that on purpose? I mean, the new "God of Chaos" is narrating so his view on reality may be a bit... skewed.
Good but the person view switcch keeps bugging me plus there are a few errors. Aside from that, very excited for the next chapter.
3525676
Then perhaps third person shouldn't be left out. We wouldn't want to hurt it's feelings, after all.
Rainbow Dash!
3524955>>3524914 Why not have him adjust the element of laughter into the Wabbajack! That will satsfy your deire for an Elder Scrolls reference AND have him morphify an element.
3526526 that's... the best idea this week !*tips hat* you good sir deserve a cookie.
How about the Element of Laughter getting turned into, I don't know, a candlestick or some other mundane item. (This can be done with any of the Elements except Loyalty.)
Taking the same element of the bearer is quite dumb in some cases. By taking a different element and locking it away (or hiding it in plane sight), the Heroines will...will...
.....
.....
Well, I'm not sure where I was going with that. If possible can somepony else finish this train of though, if not then please disregard all but the first sentence.
Well done, but the point of view keeps changing, and is a distraction. I suggest keeping with 1st person, because you are doing that well enough, and 2nd person puts the reader in an awkward position. 2nd person is hard to pull off well, so just leave it out.
Otherwise I enjoyed it.
3526602 Why thank you good sir.
Goggle points for you!
X25
Take loyalty, turn it into a lightning bolt shaped butt plug. Must be 'worn' to be activated.
Mundane means of killing not allowed?......Welp,There goes the idea of using minigun equiped super mutants and dogmeat clones as guards
Hmm take Loyalty and turn it into a ring for him to wear so it can't be restolen
3532366
Or turn it into nothingness so it can't be touched or found.
3527243
"Mundane". So, If he created a penguin with laser vision, held it like a rifle, and pumped a wing to make it fire rapidly, it wouldn't be "mundane".
On another note, I noticed that no one commenting seems to have any issue with him kidnapping one of the mane six to hold hostage/imprison and stealing an Element.
3524797 I agree. He should turn it into a gold ring with an amythist chaos star on it. I like where this is going. But remember my Comment on the last chapter.
I would say take any element but laughter and the object to turn it in to... I would say a neck ring (like one Zecora would wear). It would be to large to stay on hooves or a tail but to small to fit around a head. Another would be a ring for honesty, she has not a wing nor a horn to put it on (maybe other than an ear).
3533717
I put a dark tag and gave myself a mature rating on this thing. Did you think it would be sunshine and frosting?
you are fucking brilliant!!!!!!!
3590280
and someone please tell that this new discords cane has a hidden katana and if not, he's chaos he can make it happen
exactly fucking genius
The new god of chaos sounds like he would be a dungeon master from hell.
3590865 A wakazashi cane would probably be easier to pull off,Or perhaps a tanto cane,Katana's are decently big though,So hiding one isnt all too easy......Actually,He's the new discord,he could theoretically have a chainsword Nodachi hidden in his cane
3591149
but I have to agree katanas are on the large side
sounds awesome either though doesn't it?
3591406 Or he could make use of a slingshot crossbow that fires bayonets attached to wooden poles
3591541
im beginning to think that we have something in common when it comes to weaponry.
we love to let our imaginations go wild. I like the way you think