hide for the love of god hide
Hide
HIDE! SHE MAY BE WORKING FOR THE PURPLE CRAZY LOCO RAPE YOUR ASS PONY!
HID HIDE HIDE HIDE HIDE!!!!!
Carefully hide, if you start blindly running for a hiding spot you're likely to grab attention.
FUCKIN RUN! GO TO THE CARD-BOARD BOX!
Find the nearest hay bale and dolphin dive into it, QUICKLY!!!
Well the obvious option here is to yell up at her with a manly voice saying "Look its the flying gay pride parade!"
You will then proceed to manly hide underneath the cardboard box that Snake left behind in a... manly way... just not too manly or else the manliness that radiates off of you will give away your position.
Hide you must survive to repay your debt... and the card bord box can not help now..
Hide under a tree and keep a eye on the rainbow haired Pegasus. Unless Applejack or Big Mac need you, DO NOT LOSE TRACK OF THE PEGASUS!
Stay hidden and listen 'till you know what she's looking for. If it happens to be you, pray that she's not working for Twilight.
DUCK FOR COVER
and hide in snakes box in the barn
Get inside the cardboard box snake if its still their. Then proceed to find applejack and bigmac they have yet to do anything to you so find them and get some protection. Ps if theirs no box travel from cover to cover like an assassin.
Since when have these ponies been anything but trouble, engage stealth mode.
Hide in a cardboard box
NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE!!!!
You hide under solid snakes box and stealthily sneak to applejack. She is the only female pony you can trust.
Also if your found out yell نكاح الشرطة at the top of your lungs.
A:Run to the nearest box and hide under it and be like your hero Solid Snake.
Snake left his box for a reason...other than you spotting him...
Wait... is this the Rainbow Dash from this comment-driven story's sister fic?
If so, just observe in silence.
If this is not that Rainbow Dash, TAKE FDGING COVER!
Ok, so far you nearly got raped by 2 unicorns, you pissed off an earth pony and her brother, and now a Pegasus is apparently looking for something?
Hell no, take NO chances, hurry up, find a good spot to hide, and wait for her to leave. After she does, ask applejack who she is and what she may have been looking for......provided she's cooled down enough to answer a few questions
Use your badass Bear Grylls skills and hide under the canopy of trees. All the while spy on her to make sure she is not an assailant of the Rapi-corns
You suddenly notice her look in your direction.
'AW HELL NO!,' you think to yourself as you see her. YOU ARE NOT ABOUT TO GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN!!!
You quickly look to your right and notice that the cardboard box that Solid Snake (you really need to check to see if you are still high somehow) is still there. Without thinking twice, you run over and dolphin dive towards it. You slide on the ground several feet (getting your shirt dirty in the process, but it was already dirty enough from all the work you did today so que sera sera you suppose) and quickly grab the box and pull it over yourself once you reach it.
You scrunch up as small as possible inside the box to keep yourself effectively hidden. Luckily, Snake got it big so this isn't a problem at all.
Now you contemplate what to do about the rainbow colored pegasus up there. The thought enters your head that whoever it is is obviously the flying gay pride parade, but you didn't have a problem with Lyra and Bon Bon being that way, so there's no reason why you wouldn't have a problem with this (God, you really need to see if they are okay). Sure, you could find out if she's nice or not, but given every pony that you've run into up until this point, you aren't about to take that chance.
Use your military Sniper training to shoot her down!
This comes to mind... Too bad you dont have a rocket launcher right now...
You stared at the flying pony for awhile but someone or something in the back in your subconscious a drill sergeant-like voice rang throughout your mind stated the most logical thing you have ever heard in your brief time in Equestria.
So knowing that a Stinger missile would be too slow for taking down a lightning speed pegasus (you just knew) and a sniper rifle would not be suitable as well, since you might probably miss due to the air current and gravity. Knowing that real life doesn't follow Halo physics, you pull out a black metallic object from your non existent pocket.
The weapon you revealed is the Typhoon.
Although the 2000 years of human ingenuity weapon is called a sub-machine gun isn't great at long ranges, it fires 500 rounds per second. Even if you missed, there'll be more bullets cracking through the sky.
With that in mind, you begin to aim down the sights, pointed at the winged blue equine and than, pressed the trigger.
You contemplate shooting down the pegasus just in case. Unfortunately you do not have a stinger missile, nor do you have any weapons with which to shoot it down. Plus, Lyra told you that no one in Ponyville owns a weapon (God, you've been thinking about them a lot) so even if Halo physics were somehow working here (they started putting the weapons on the character's backs in the game so that won't even work), you wouldn't have picked up any weapons with which to use. So that is out.
Instead, you figure you should make your way over to Applejack. She hasn't tried to do anything to you yet, and you still owe her, so logically she shouldn't let anything happen to you... Logically...
You wait a few moments just in case. You don't hear or see anything outside of the hole in front of you. Maybe she hasn't noticed you yet. Slowly but surely, you begin to walk straight ahead and make your way back to the farmhouse where you know Applejack is.
However, before you even get three feet, you hear a certain clopping noise. The kind of noise that sounds like hooves hitting the ground. More specifically, hooves hitting the floor after falling from the sky.
'OH FUCK!!!' You silently say to yourself as that noise hits your ears. 'What do I do now!?'
Wait why has snake left a silenced pistol on the ground.......
You idiot. You know that Snake never leaves his weapons behind. If he did he would run the risk of getting caught, AND SNAKE NEVER GETS CAUGHT!!!!
Except by you a few moments ago but that is beside the point. There is no silenced pistol on the ground. However, upon thinking of that, a realization suddenly hits you.
'Wait...' you think to yourself. 'Didn't I notice Snake hiding in this box?' Not only that, but you aren't Solid Snake, so if you were able to notice Solid Snake hiding here....
You thoughts are interrupted by the sudden appearance of a pony with a cyan blue coat in front of the hole you use to see out of.
Time seems to slow down for you. You watch as the pony reaches down, puts a hoof at the edge of the box............................................. And then lifts it up.
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!
You swear you can literally hear the metal gear sound effect play in your head as you look right into the pegasus' face.
No-seriously, her face is inches away from yours. She's holding up the box with her right hoof and staring right at you. She's looking right at you, you're staring right into her magenta colored eyes... Oddly enough though your epic battle of staring isn't as epic as when you did it with Bon Bon.
Either way though, she's looking right at you. You see her pupils slowly start to shrink the longer she stares at you.
What do you do?
Well, you're screwed anyways, may as well enjoy what time you have left. You reach up, grab her cheeks, and stretch them so she's making funny faces.
Slowly push her away, put the box down and walk the fuck out of there not giving two shits.
Or headbutt her and say viva la revolution!
bite her and say she tastes like Skittles
"Hiii."
you Observe her little while and then say that she is the coolest, awesomest and radicalest pony that you have ever seen.
And if this doesn't work you 'beep' her nose and run like hell.
Whisper to her "Im not here" than pull the box down slowly
Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and scream out your famous last word.
"WAAAAAZZZUUUUUUUUUUUUPPP?!"
Pull her into the box with you and hope to god she understands your situation when you explain it to her.
Guess this is it. This is your final stand. If you are going down you might as go down as manly as fucking possible, you then reach down deep within you and pull out your inner...
ALEX LOUIS ARMSTRONG!!!!!!
images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090425013034/fma/images/b/b1/AlexLouisArmstrong!LookAtThoseGodlyMuscles!.jpg
And then with all your might and manliness you then... BOOP THE EVER LOVING SHIT OUT OF THIS CYAN PONY'S NOSE! All the while yelling out "The Art of Booping has been passed down through the*insert family's name here* family for generations!"
Let out an incredibly Mannly, (See also: Saxton Hale) yet squeaky scream, and kick RD in the jaw.
say hello in the most casual and non-suspisious way possible
while shes confused
RUN
Kiss her and use the opportune time of shock from the blue pony to make a break for it.
Put on the best fake accent you can and say " thank you, come again" pull out the box and crawl the FUCK AWAY.
Do what they do on loony toons, Full on kiss her on the lips, smash the box on her head then run away Laughing like a maniac while shes still stunned.
Like a baws.
By some insane miracle... SHE DOESN'T SEE YOU AND JUST PUTS THE BOX DOWN AND FLIES AWAY!? What a dunce!
Make a break for the barn,maybe then the encounter theme music your suddenly hearing will stop.
Walk up to her, point in any direction and say "I'm over there."
Then turn and run in the other direction.
Just like Sonic The Hedgehog.
Awkwardly say, "Hello."
While you are running, do jumping jacks.
Might as well get some exercise.
Ok NOW Summon the Shagohod and begin the chase scene, ride atop of it and play epic music with a guitar.
Why do you suddenly think of My Little Dashie? You are in a box and Ranbow found you in a lonely orchard of apples. Should you start calling her mommy?
HUG HER DAMNIT! SHE IS BEST PONY!
Just explain that you saw someone hiding in the box and wanted to see what he was doing so you got into the box and it closed on you right before she got there
Taste the Rainbow
Raise your hands up and shout
"I didn't do it!"
¿You're not gonna try to rape me?, ¡¿right?!
Say as quietly as you can "Please don't kill me. just ask AJ about me! She made me pay her back for the cart by working! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME-HE-HEEEE!"
Scream for applejack
Contact Otacon for reinforcements!
also ask if she's going to be in the gay pride parade
Ask her if she is working for Twilight and or Rarity.
If not- Hug her. She is possibly one of the only sane ponies around.
If so-...This starts to play as the unicorn(s) close in...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50WfXIB9-sE
Get on your knees and beg "Please don't kill me! I'm actually owned by Applejack and if I die then I can't pay her back!"
Maintain eye contact and calmly say "this is all a dream", then dance the dinosaur over to where you last saw Applejack. With luck the rainbow one will be too confused to act.
slowly pull the box back down, not breaking eye contact until the box is in the way then proceed to crawl away
"So... nice weather we're having."
wanna race?
Kiss her to see if she tastes like skittles, THEN MOONWALK OUT OF THERE!
In one quick motion, slam the box on top of her and sit on it in order to plan out your next "intelligent" move.
Introduce yourself and ask her for her name. Being in a difficult situation is no reason for being impolite.
Use your knowledge of Hokuto Shinken to strike her Kisha pressure point, freezing her entire body.
"THE LIGHT! IT BURNS!" You scream, shielding yourself from the horrible daylight. Trails of smoke pour out your body as it begins to dissolve into ash. "Have mercy on a poor vampire!" You beg.
throw dirt in her eyes and run to the forest. Nothing scares you more than rape and hard work.
Boop her on the nose and run away screaming for applejack.
Quickly dance to distract her then when she is thoroughly confused make use of the box again by slamming onto her head and then making a break for it to applejack for safety.
You say in your most calmest voice eva- wanna get high? If she does not understand be more descriptive. Option 2 if she acts weird or says no to getting high run or walk like a badass toward the farm.
Take the initiative. Tackle Rainbow Dash and pin her down. Cover her mouth so she can't call for backup. Explain to her that you are tired of getting chased around and want answers. Ask, "Who are you working for?" Take her wing into your hand and threaten to break it if she shouts. Slowly uncover her mouth to let her answer you.
A classic Snake Interrogation.
num her hair screaming"SKITTLES"
Using your ninja-skill-like...super intellect..and stuff, assess the situation, note that she does not seem to wish you harm, and proceed to simply greet her and have a conversation, slowly gaining her trust until you can use her as a bodyguard (she does seem to be athletic) against eviltwilight ->.
NOTE: MEET FLUTTERS ALREADY GOSHCONSARNIT
start spouting gibberish while flailing your arms for 10 seconds, then do a crabwalk out of there and hopefully she'll be too "da fuq" enough to even wonder what just happened, giving you enough time to escape
Break the fourth wall.
Why don't you just talk to her? As epic as a stare-down between RD sounds, you can't do so forever. Plus, your eyes ought to be sore by now from all the staring that you've been doing.