Waking up in an alternate universe in which you are a supervillain can be hard.
Finding out your friends are rebels trying to kill or overthrow you isn't very easy to deal with either.
But trying to solve the situation? That's a real horn cracker.
Waking up in an alternate universe in which you are a supervillain can be hard.
Finding out your friends are rebels trying to kill or overthrow you isn't very easy to deal with either.
But trying to solve the situation? That's a real horn cracker.
If this had been labeled dark, I'd leave. But it's not, so it should be something I can handle. It's interesting to see something like this that isn't too dark for me to handle.
hmm, interesting concept.
Now, how are you going to make a pony who panics if a hair is out of place get through being thrown into a universe where everythings out of place.
I can't wait to find out.![]()
I'm conflicted on this. The premise seems like it could end up either really good or really nasty.
It almost seems like, say, the idea of a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Hot Pocket.
And chapter one seems to have a lot of errors. Even in the first line, it says "Twilight Sparkle: Histories Greatest Monster" instead of "Twilight Sparkle: History's Greatest Monster".
So, I guess I gave a hesitant upvote and I'll see how it goes.
The execution (in my opinion at least) lives up to the promise of the premise! It's an enjoyable and delightful read. As much as I can judge based on the length available now, I'd say I like this story.
For some reason I have a sense that their nearest couple of plans for defeating her are going to be specifically things Canon Twilight can or has solved. You know, send an Ursa Minor, Parasprites, a broken dam...
Very good and I will follow, but could use an editing pass. most errors related to lack of apostrophes.
You know, for a mare that's all about the power of friendship and how to spread good cheer, Twilight seems to know an awful lot on Evil Fortress Decorating 101. What has she been doing in her spare time? Very curious.
Yeah, great concept and looking forward to more!
Also, if you need a proofreader, I'd be happy to help out. Apparently, I'm halfway competent or something. Let me know!
I hope Twilight knows the Evil Overlord List and handels things accordingly which would give the resistance no chance to do anything against her.
(maybe she can cut out things like killing everypony and something like that) It also would be fun if she became the genre savvy Evil Overlord.
Interesting story, but you need to work on your possessives. For example:
and to Rarities eternal shame even fewer unicorns,
"Rarities" should be "Rarity's".
The good old days of the Sisters rule seemed so far away
"Sisters" should be " Sisters' " (spaces for clarity). The apostrophe is after the second s because it's a plural possessive.
where the weak points were in a Special Oponyrations Magicians armor were.
"Magicians" should be "Magician's". Also, one of those "were"s are extraneous.
Those aren't all the possessive issues, there are many more, but they should be easy to fix.
My two cents in the cleanup:
“Torture Made Uneasy", "Taxation and Tyranny - A How To Guide", and "Coping With The Urge To Monologue”.You missed the inner quotation marks for the book titles - I think these are what you were going for.
Still, this is a very interesting premise, and hopefully all you need is a few prereaders/editors to make it awesome.
Okay. This could be fun.
Well...no, not fun per say, I guess.
You know what I mean. ![]()
Oho, this is gonna be interesting.![]()
I wonder what my alternate universe supervillain persona would be like. Or for that matter, everyone else's.
Twilight Sparkle: Evil Genius! MUHHAHAHAHAHAHA!'
Cue Dr. Evil music.
I haven't even read the story yet and I already blame Trixie for the situation.
Excellent! I adore the concept of Alternate Universes, so I'm eating this story up like kibble. Definite Upvote and Favorite!
Though, this story begs the question that none of the other viewers have addressed: if Twilight is now in an alternate universe where she's an Evil Overlord... where did the original Evil Overlord Twilight go?
Adorkable Twilight switching switching places with an evil mastermind Twilight!? Oh, YES!
![]()
Looks at title.
I have to see this.
Reads description.
I have to see this.
Looks at number of stories unread.
This might take a while...![]()
XD It's gonna be hilarious when she tries to ask Flutters what's goin on. :D
Take my upvote, track, and watch. :P
Fluttershy smashed face first into an abbatoir? That sounds terrible. An abbatoir is a slaughterhouse. Maybe she crashed into an armoire? ![]()
Indeed... Unfortunately, I'd rather not see this go 'Dark' so maybe seeing the other side, the Evil Overlord Twilight stuck in Adorkable Twilight's universe, though potentially hilarious, could be problematic. Though, you could make her over the top, and still have fun with it. See her modifying the tree to have a lava moat?
“ Torture Made Uneasy, Taxation and Tyranny - A How To Guide, and Coping With The Urge To Monologue”That is a very long title
tunnel in an captureI think you missedd a d
to Rarities eternal shameShould be "Rarity's"
YES! Evil Twi for the win!
Espically an evil Twi who doesn´t know she´s an evil one but gets it after a half minute thinking and acts like it while actually helping her not-friend of another dimension.
Just a normal day for Twlight Sparkle. ![]()
Heil Lord Librarian, true and only leader of Equestria! Guide us to a future of knowledge and sience! We shall follow you and crush anypony who dares to steps into your way! ![]()
Can´t wait to see Twi trying to talk to Shy while making the others believe she´s torturing her. ![]()
Or Dashie´s way too couragous plan with three thunderhead bulls epic fail cause this Twi seems much smarter/got more spells/Spell power in her horn/knows her friends aka the rebells better than this dimension evil Twi........uhm......could it be that the evil Twi is now in Twi´s normal dimension? ![]()
A bit sad though that Twi´s friends, though they´re probably never befriended her in this dimension, wants her dead and speaks so badly about her. ![]()
Though Dashie´s remark about getting a date made me giggle. You kept them well in character for being rebels. Expect Shy where i was like "the actual fuck is going on here" but i guess we´ll hear soon the history of how Twi became supreme leader of Equestria and Shy such a badass fighter and Dash a pony who actually PLANS ahead!!! ![]()
“ Only when she is relaxed and secure can I truly destory her!
That should be destRoy not destOry. Still love the fic very much those small faults don´t hurt the reader fault much, so i can´t wait to see the next chapter coming up. :3
What's this, a "Twilight botches a spell and ends up in an AU" fanfic that has a plot I've never seen before?
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Not bad, not bad, even if it features Trixie, whom I don't like (I know, I know, stones here)!
I really loved how you dotted the original humor with a little casual mocking of supervillain clichés - not too much, just enough. Just be careful, and don't let the "adventure" part take over the "comedy" part! Many an amusing story fell victim of the dreaded Cerebus-syndrome.
Oh, and... shouldn't it be "Lady Librarian"?
Pretty good. Quite a few typos and punctuation errors, but proofreaders(which I see you've gotten now) should fix that right up. So, I have some interesting questions/ideas...
1. How will Twilight dismantle her Evil Empire?
2. Better yet, if she doesn't, she needs to follow the Evil Overlord List to a 't' and become all-powerful. Insta-win, and would probably be HILARIOUS.![]()
3. What happened to Evil Egghead? Is she now trapped in a happy-go-lucky land where she is a national hero?
I demand that this story gets fanart of Twilight wearing a monicle, just so we get a cover image. Get ot it, Deviantart!
Also, Trixie is best kissass.
Too awesome and Too short. Either make it less awesome or make it longer.
“ Is there anythin’ that witch can’t do?”
“ Get a date?” chuckled Rainbow Dash, testing out a sword by slashing a falling leaf out of midair.
“ Might as well have Big Mac stop on the tunnel.” sighed Applejack, trotting off.
Wanted to see Hitler or Stalin in Equestria, but this is good. I'll give you a thumbs up for now.
God, Somebody better crack down and write a seriously good Hitler/Stalin in Equestria story
I'm not entirely sure what just happened, but I think I like it.
You have my attention. ![]()
Don't lose it. ![]()
It's been a long time since I read a good evil Twi redemption story... ![]()
>>1458110 Uhh...well, this won't quite be that. More like...um...goofy supervillian comedy.
>>1457830 I plan on avoiding Cerberus syndrome like the ponypox. Doubleso because I didn't like the comic even when it was humorous.
>>1457899 I'd be all for that! I'ven tried doing a few drawings myself, but I caaaaannnooott draw ponies.
>>1455538 She's a crazy librarian reading anything in her range and beyond. She's bound to have a copy of the Evil Overlord List.
>>1458244 Oh, girl, you did not just make me feel like I yelled at fluttershy. Wait, whats that? You did? ![]()
I didn't mean to be rude, just wern't not plannin on redeeming evil Twilight...but, what the heck, the later chapters are still in the works, lets make that an part of the story too!
Guessing here: Evil Twilight's origin story is that she magically removed her moralily sound and ethical part of herself, because she developed the theroy that doing so would make her more open to the pursuit of science.It's like a lobotany, only to her soul.
The problem was that all the good was pluged up inside, instead of being pulled out. When all that morality finally broke the metaphorical dam, she got false memories of a life where she instead made the right choices, and her sworn enimies were her best friends, so she can live with herself in denial. Ergo, there was no "Good" Twilight, and the alternate-universe tag is a lie.
...Or, this is complete bullshit, and there's a chance that Good Twi and Evil Twi can talk via an enchanted mirror, or some maguffin like that. I'd imagine that she got teleported in to Good Twi's world, and rather than getting the chance to take over, she's being annoyed by the obnoxiously nice and forgiving residents of Ponyville, because... (say it with me, folks)
I like the premise. I like your writing too, even. But you need to learn how to apostrophe. Do you need a pre-reader?
The first question I had was that if Twilight just woke up evil, how did she know the name of her evil unicorn guard unit?
Waking up in the bed of an alternate universe you that is a supervillain can be hard.Finding out your friends are rebels trying to kill or overthrow you isn't very easy to deal with either.
But trying to solve the situation? Thats a real horn cracker.
I saw were you got this idea from (Kids Next Door)
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hmmmmmmmmm....go on......on a sidenote does this mean evil twilight is back in the normal dimension
Actually I'm reminded of Star Trek Classic, the episode "Mirror, Mirror"
So... Is Evil Twilight in the Ponyville Hospital Psych Ward next to Barker?
You didn't copy all of it, the difference is that on the show #1 woke up as president of the United States and his friends were the other various leaders of the country. For example #4 was General of the navy, #2 was an unspecified leader of a scientific group, and so on and so forth. But anyway you didn't copy it and no attornies are going to start sewing you left and right. It's a great idea and I'm definitively going to follow this. keep up the good work.
Awesome idea! Just for that you receive VK4502(P) Ausf B!
No gore tough, no violent death, no insanity or massive destruction and genocide... What are we doing here?!![]()
Ignore him, it's the other me trying to get some attention!
What?! I shall not be ignored! Oh you think you're so great with your sanity and all that! Hey! I'm talking to you! HEY! ![]()
See, what I mean? Anyway, good idea, and well... Carry on good sir!
You could at least warn me next time you wanna read something without even a drop of blood and violence, eh?! ![]()
Hey, I can read whatever the hell I want and at least I'm pretending to be normal!
Ooh, and it's working for you just fiiineee... Even now you're talking to yourself you know? ![]()
If you wont shut up, I WILL take the blue pill...
Erm... okay... sorry... ![]()
Good...
Hey, Bloodwing? ![]()
What?
You know we're still writing a comment, right? ![]()
<blink><blink>
Ummm...
<runs away>
Evil overlord of science?
I'd be happy with that.
Although - spiked armour? Really? Do you have any idea how impractical that is?
You don't need a scary uniform - simply take an ordinary one, then _make_ it scary because _it_ is associated with _you_.
Then again, I shouldn't worry about the uniform when the quality of the guard is in question. Seriously, one pony neutralised/evaded _how_ many pony's attempts to kill her? I don't care how badass she is, she shouldn't have made it to the city walls alive without significant support.
Then again, I _have_ read the Evil Overlord List. It would seem Evil Overlord Twilight is only aware of one point on there (that monologuing is bad).
This shows promise. Like, it's got promise leaking out the sides, it's got so much. Will watch tenatively.
Curse you! You got me hooked on the first chapter! Now I will spend lonely nights awake in bed contemplating what direction this fic will take until the next chapter comes out! Then the cruel cycle shall repeat again... and again... and again... and again... You, PotatoJoe, are history's greatest monster.
"Spawn more Overlords!" in otherwords MORE PWEASE!
I wish you all the smiles in the world SO YOU CAN BRING SMILES TO US! YES! ![]()
While I was intrigued by the premise when I saw this in the feature box, I was mostly apprehensive at the prospect of reading through another sadfic. (Because the premise just screamed "wracked with guilt, and greif. Along with being treated with murderous hate by your best friends") But as soon as I saw the lack of "sad" or "tragic" tags, and more importantly noticed the "comedy" tag, I decided that this had potential to be a great source to counter all the sadfics I end up reading.
And it was. Some jarring spelling issues aside, this was excellently executed. A great mix of Adventure and (most importantly) comedy. I may not give faves after only one chapter, but I'm giving a like. Furthermore, I see no reason not to fave this if the second chapter keeps up the excellent mix of hilarious evil villainy, and epic freedom fighting saga.
Waking up in the bed of an alternate universe (to discover that) you that is you're a supervillain can be hard.
Finding out your friends are rebels trying to kill or overthrow you isn't very easy to deal with either.
But trying to solve the situation? Thats That's a real horn cracker.
Now with the graceful RTStephens as an editor!
If this is what your editor managed to spit out then I tremble to think about the butchery you've inflicted on the English language.
The fact that this is featured leaves me weeping for the state of fine prose.
OK, seriously?
Everything alive likes it on the first chapter and it pops up on the feature box without any gurantee that it will be continued. This always bothers me, I will read it when it has at least one more chapter.
This looks very promising, except for the grammar errors. Especially the bad habit you have of writing things as plurals rather than possessives.
For example:
Waking up was one of Twilight Sparkles favorite things.
Right there in the first sentence, there's a mistake. It should be Sparkle's. Waking up is a favorite thing of Twilight Sparkle, it is her favorite and she possesses it. Thus her name should be followed by and apostrophe-s, rather than shifting it to a plural of sparkle. In this particular case, it's merely a missing punctuation mark, but later on you write Rarities instead of Rarity's, which is a lot more noticeable. I would suggest going and checking every instance of a name in this chapter to catch them all.
Okay. Twilight, you magnificient mare, I READ YOUR BOOKS! (Both of them)![]()
Yay; Read the first chapter, Favorited, and went back to favorites list, and it showed up with the second chapter :D
Love it when that happens!
Oh noes, not another well intentioned extremist! I seem to be running to a lot of them these days.
Seriously, all Good Twilight has to do is offer the rebels cookies. Pinkie will be dragging the others with her and banging down Twilight's doors. Why don't more evil overlords not understand this?
Nice
at the end there! Somethin' ain't right with that filly! ![]()