Shocking Reveals
“ - then, we’ll do another strafe of the southern towers and the earth ponies will move in to neutralize ground support. I’ll then wheel back up to distract the Shadowbolts while our other fliers recover - “
“ Uh, hi.” said Twilight, awkwardly trotting into the building where Pinkie had led her. It was built into the side of a gulch, but Twilight recognized the materials - it looked like wood and brick salvaged from Ponyville. Inside was small and dimly lit, but comfortable - there were chairs and tables. The center table was covered in maps and diagrams, which Rainbow Dash was using to outlay a very complicated looking plan.
“ Oh, hello.” said Fluttershy, standing up as Twilight entered the room. Twilight winced, noting the mare still had a black eye. “ I hope you slept okay. We have to ask you a lot of questions today.”
“ I’m more than ready to answer anything I can.” said Twilight with a nod.
“ Thats good.” replied Fluttershy, giving Twilight a soft smile. Twilight then noticed the box of torture tools next to where Fluttershy had been sitting - obviously, if she hadn’t been ready to talk, they would had made her. The presence of the horrible implements didn’t help Twilights wildly fluctuating nerves, though the kind smile on Fluttershy’s face did ease her fear.
“ - then, a triple loop to shake off Derpy. While I do that, we move the second team in to mop up the enemy wounded and recover our own casualties.” Rainbow Dash continued on and on, obviously in her own world. She was nudging model knights and soldiers around on the map with her nose and drawing boxes and lines with a marker. It looked like she had been doing so for hours.
“ Well, Rarity’s on her way.” announced Applejack, emerging from a back room. She gave Twilight a careful look, then took a seat next to Rainbow Dash at the table. “ So...Twilight. How...are...you?”
“ Okay.” said Twilight awkwardly. Pinkie Pie moved her to a seat at the table and made Twilight sit down. As Pinkie did so, she placed a hoof on Twilights shoulder - it was a reflexive, push the prisoner into place type of touch - but it made Twilight shiver. As Pinkie Pie took her own seat, Twilight brushed at where the ponies hoof had touched Twilights coat - it felt dusty and unpleasant. “ If it’s too awkward for small talk, we can just sit here and wait.”
“ Sounds good.” said Applejack. Everypony sat and stared, expect for Rainbow Dash, who was now wheeling around toy siege tower and using it to knock over plastic walls while making sound effects like “bwoosh” and “krakaow”, occasionally adding in a “baboom” or “krakajamma” for good measure.
A short while later, Rarity entered. Twilight felt herself relax as the mare took a seat next to Twilight at the table - the mare was not as beautiful as the Rarity she knew, but had the same composure and poise. And, Twilight noted, the same perfectly sanded horn.
“ And then we swoop in for the final attack run-”
“ Dashie, you might have missed this, but we’ve already captured Twilight Sparkle.” said Rarity, setting out a tray with several cups of weak looking tea. “ So, while your plan is no doubt an advancement on modern military technique and a spectacle for the ages, it is somewhat redundant.”
“...what?” said Rainbow Dash, blinking as she left her trance. Rarity nodded towards Twilight, whom Dash looked to with bugging eyes and sputtered shock. Twilight was surprised too - when Dash turned she noticed that one of Dash’s ears was missing. Jagged scars, like lightning bolts, stretched from where her ear would have been down her neck and cheek. “ W-wait, what?”
“ She surrendered to Fluttershy.” said Applejack.
Rainbow Dash sat still for several seconds.
“ Wait, what?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“ She’s a non-evil version of herself from another dimension. Ah don’t really understand either, but Pinkie and Rarity say it checks out.”
“....wait, what?” asked Rainbow Dash, brain still trying to catch up.
“ And now we have to wait for the feather-brain to evolve to a point we can continue the conversation.” sighed Twilight, rolling her eyes. She froze an instant later as she realized what she had said. “ I’m sorry!” she sputtered a moment later, looking around as she blushed with shame. “ I’m sorry, it just slipped out!”
Rarity gave her a look of absolute disgust.
“ ...moving along past that...comment.” said Rarity, her tone seething but calm as she returned to the current task - debriefing Twilight. “ You claim to be Twilight Sparkle, but not one we know. Pinkie has verified this, as have your unclothe outburst, and we’d like to know a little bit more about the situation. Do you know why you are in our world as opposed to our own?”
“ Evil me was experimenting with Discords magic.” said Twilight, face still flushed with shame. Everypony gasped in shock. “ She was siphoning off his magic to use herself. Something went wrong when she combined it with...well, a type of casserole that always give me weird dreams.”
There was a short silence.
“ Wait, what?” said Rainbow Dash.
“ Onion and pepper casseroles give me weird dreams, Discords magic is chaotic and does weird stuff, thats all I know!” said Twilight meekly, looking around. Nopony seemed to be buying or understanding it, but Applejack wasn’t calling her a liar, so they didn’t interrupt. “ I happened upon a secret lab where I found this out - Evil me didn’t exactly leave properly indexed notes!”
“So...then. I assume you are not normally such a...well, less of a loathsome individual compared to what we are used to in this world?” asked Rarity, continuing the questions. She looked unnerved, but steady - the Discord bomb was a big one to drop on anypony.
“ I’m...I’m a normal pony...kinda.” said Twilight, wincing as she prepared to say what she had to say. “ We’re all friends, actually. And we’re all Elements of Harmony - a group that has protected Equestria from a number of threats.”
“...I refuse to believe that steaming pile of manure.” said Rarity, snarling slightly before looking to Applejack. “ She can’t be telling the truth. I could never be associated with a unicorn supremacist, and from what I have heard from Fluttershy and the slight she directed at Dash-.”
“ Ah’m afraid she’s telling the straight truth.” said Applejack with an uneasy look. “ She, uh, did say our world was making her racist.”
“ Wait, what?” said Rainbow Dash.
“ Oh, it’s true - she tried really hard to not say things, but they kept slipping out when she got stressed.” interjected Fluttershy. “ When we were breaking out she apologized several times after insulting me for being a pegasus.”
“ Oh, thats...” Rarity trailed off as she looked to Twilight again. “ That is different.”
“ Sorry.” said Twilight, looking at her hooves. “ I think that when my focus slips I take on some of the traits of Evil Twilight. I’ll try to keep her...unicorn-centric views under control.”
There was a short silence as everypony else looked to each other uncomfortably.
“...uh...Good Twilight...I need to break some news to you.” said Applejack, wincing as she glanced between the assembled ponies. Twilight looked up and braced herself. “ There’s a bunch of things the Lord Librarian is and they’re all mighty awful. But...uh...she ain’t a racist.”
There was a short silence.
“ Wait, what?” Twilight blurted.
A metallic clanking woke Trixie up from a rather lurid dream.
She vowed to kill whoever it was that had disturbed her. It wasn’t often she dreamed of being the Lord Librarians favorite harem concubine...okay, yes, it was. She had the same dream every night, sometimes twice. But it was a good dream and she was frustrated at having her fantasy left unfinished.
“ Who dares awaken me?” she roared, sitting up in bed as she levitated her wand from her sidetable. The glowing rod crackled with dark energy as she looked around the room, searching for the signs of the armored interloper. A thought struck her - the Lord Librarian usually wore armor...and had been in a surprisingly sensual mood the previous day... “ U-unless it’s you, Lord Librarian.” she stammered, flushing deep red as hope and warmth spread though her body. “ T-then, Trixie is ready to service you. I-I mean ready to be serviced! I mean, at your service!
“ Commencing Scan.” announced a monotone stallions voice from behind her. She whirled around and was shocked to find the old BROBOT inspecting her with glowing eyes. “ Scan Complete. Scans indicate small presence of Lord Librarians DNA is present on your cheek - tissue appears to be hair from a forehoof. Running QuestionGenerator.exe.”
“ Oh, Lord, who turned this rustbucket on?” sighed Trixie, putting down her wand as the old cyberpony’s brain clunked along. It was what remained of Twilights brother, who had been a Royal Guard of some note before the coup. The Lord Librarian kept it around for some reason, even though the tech was outdated and the programming unstable. “ What are you doing out of your tower, you stupid, short-circuited synthetic stallion?”
“ QuestionGenerator.exe concluded. Judging from the presence of Twily’s DNA on your body and your lodging near her quarters, you are presumed to be one of Twily’s pleasure slaves. Is this correct? Y/N.”
“....Y.” said Trixie, her heart skipping a beat at the thought.
“ When were you last used/ravaged/dominated by Twily? Please state your answer in hours, rounding down.”
“ Thirteen hours ago.” Trixie knew it was a stretch - it hadn’t been more than a caress of a cheek and a promise of torrid torture tutoring, but the spark had been there.
“ Timeframe has been established. Thank you for your data input.” announced the BROBOT, stepping off of her bed. “ Running SiblingJudgement.app. Geez, Twilight, if you’re into mares, at least go for the pretty ones. This pleasure slave totally has a dude-horn.”
Trixie’s eyes bulged as she choked down a storm of seething and sinister swearwords. A ‘dude-horn?’ Sure, her horn was a little large and pointy, but it was still feminine! It was majestic! Shapely! She polished it daily! There was nothing unattractive about her horn!
“ Continuing LordLibrarianSearch.exe.” announced the BROBOT, trotting towards the door before Trixie could muster the hate to throw a pillow at him. She magicked the door shut and lay back with a groan - how dare that malfunctioning mechanical moron claim she had a ‘dude-horn’! She vowed to have it vivisected, vaporized, and...
A moment of weakness hit her and she hopped out of bed and trotted to her mirror. Looking at her forehead, she did see that her horn was, while feminine, a bit bigger than normal for a mare. Perhaps...perhaps she did need to grind it down a little. And the point was too sharp - practical for stabbing, but a bit to manly.
Angry, but curious, she wondered if a little sanding might help her finally seduce her dark mistress...and decided it was worth a shot, summoning a belt sander and getting to work giving herself the most whorish horn she could imagine.
“ Let out a slow breath.” said Fluttershy gently, releasing her grip on Twilights neck slowly.
Twilight complied, finally regaining control of herself. She’d had a panic attack after discovering that she was a racist and Evil Twilight wasn’t, which was understandable, as it fundamentally rewrote large chunks of what Twilight knew about herself and the situation she found herself in.
During the attack, Fluttershy had been kind enough to restrain her. While Twilight might have preferred to go a day without being strangled and pinned down by the yellow mare, her other options had been a shanking by Pinkie Pie of electrical vaporization by Rainbow Dash, fates which were statistically more lethal than mere asphyxiation.
“ All better now?” asked Fluttershy, letting got of Twilight and allowing the unicorn to stand up. Twilight nodded as she slowly regained control of herself. “ Oh, good.”
“ Sorry.” mumbled Twilight, mind still reeling. “ I...I thought...this world was changing me...into her.”
“ Well, apparently, you thought wrong.” said Rainbow Dash crossly. She was still braced to attack.
“ B-but I was never racist in my world!” Twilight protested. “ You were my friends! I had other pegasus and earth pony friends! I even had a zebra friend!”
“ Then why are you becoming racist?” asked Pinkie Pie, twiddling her knife in her hooves non-chalantly. “ I mean, it’d be weird if you just happened to become like that at the same time you came to our world. Maybe it’s your repressed thoughts or something?”
“ I’ve never thought that kind of thing!” protested Twilight.
“...uh...well, Twilight, lets be fair.” said Applejack, trotting over and putting a hoof on Twilights shoulder - and pulling it back when she saw Twilight wince reflexively. “ Everypony likes their race best. You might not hate the others, but you’re proud of your own kind, aren’t ya? Everypony’s proud of their race.”
“ Yeah! I mean, sure, flight and magic are useful and all, but Earth Pony dicks for the win!” giggled Pinkie Pie.
“ Pff, those oversized battering rams don’t get the job done any more effectively and they lack the elegance of a unicorn...s....” Twilight froze as she realized what she was saying. “ Oooh....my. Oh my.”
“ Yeah. Ya see?” chuckled Applejack, a slight blush on her cheeks. “ So, uh, that’s all I got. I still don’t know why it’s happening now.”
“ You said Discord was mixed up in this?” asked Rarity, flicking though a half-ruined spellbook back by the table. She was looking up draconequus, obviously trying to find out more about what to expect. “ That could explain any number of oddities. Are you sure it’s him?”
“ I’ve already met and defeated him in my world.” answered Twilight, wincing at how un-humble that sounded as everypony looked at her in surprise. “ We defeated him. With the Elements of Harmony. It was close and pretty awful. I don’t think I could mistake him.”
“ Wait, you and us defeated a dragon?” asked Applejack, looking shocked.
“ Uh, no, draconequus...the dragon was a different incident.” explained Twilight. “ Well...the dragons. We’ve met a bunch.”
“...okay, lets get a few things straight - are we friends or allies in your world? And what are these Element things?” asked Applejack, looking shocked at the prospect of multiple dragons.
“ The Elements of Harmony are six magical artifacts that we are specially attuned to that allow us to channel the ambient magic of all ponykind. We’ve used them to save Equestria on...”
Twilight paused her explanation as she tallied the number of victories in her friends past.
“ Five separate occasions.” concluded Twilight. “ Not counting the dragon, parasprites, or the time Mayor Mare’s spagetti fundraiser dinner went hideously wrong. But more important than the Elements, we’re close friends. I met you all when I went to Ponyville and I’ve stayed there ever since.”
“ All you did to Ponyville here is carpetbomb it.” muttered Applejack sadly.
“ Logical - as a major community not far from Canterlot, it presents an obvious fallback position for the Guard if Canterlot is seized by coup and OH!” Twilight froze, catching herself as she began to analyze population dynamics relations to the stability of a centralized state. “ I’m sorry! I-I didn’t...”
There was a short, tense silence.
“ Back to the matter of this meeting.” said Rarity curtly, gesturing that everypony return to the table. They took their seats quickly, Twilight’s guilt over what she had been saying making her stomach churn. She kept checking her shield spell but it didn’t seem to be fading or wavering anymore -was that no longer helping her?
“ We, having removed the Lord Librarian from Canterlot, need to act quickly.” declared Rarity, magicking the maps clear of Rainbow Dash’s models and notes. Laying out a diagram of Canterlot, she continued. “ If we can destabilize the castle and capture several key ponies and facilities, Equestria will quickly fall back to us - without the mind control potions and fear of their commanders, I have no doubt the Legion will quickly surrender. We need you to give us any information you can on Canterlot and it’s layout. Could you mark where patrols and important facilities are on this map?”
Twilight looked over the map for a few moments, then focused her magic.
Everypony hopped back at the map lit with a purple glow, but then they focused back in as they saw what had changed. Every room on the map was named and described in great detail and smaller, moving names indicated ponies and their roles. Traps and dangerous areas were highlighted in red and treasure chests were noted in blue.
“ Whooooooaaaaah.” said Rainbow Dash, eyes racing over the map as she followed the movements of the Shadowbolt’s names. The appeared to be on maneuvers on the airfield again, the complex patterns making it hard to follow any individual pony. “ Okay, okay, this is cool.”
“ How...did you...this?” Rarity sputtered, the stunned jealousy in her tone obvious to Twilight - it was the one that any magician had after seeing a spell for the first time.
“ It’s a simple Dungeon Mapping spell.” said Twilight with a shrug. “ I noticed it was in place while I was evading the guards to get to Fluttershy. The whole castle’s enchanted with the spell, so as long as you know how the incantation works, it’s easy to bring up. They probably have dozens of maps like this in the facilities.”
“ No wonder we never got anypony into the castle undetected.” moaned Pinkie Pie, facehoofing as she glanced over the register of names and rooms. “ Just stick a half-dozen guards in a room and have them stare at this any nopony could ever sneak it Look! There’s Granny Smith in the ventilation shafts right now - it even has her labeled as a Spy!”
“ G-granny Smith?” sputtered Applejack, rushing over. Everypony looked, finding that the elderly pony was indeed snaking though the castled air ducts. “ Shoot! If we can see her, she has to be in danger!”
“ Nothing we can do right now.” said Pinkie, putting a foreleg on her friends shoulder to comfort her. “ Lets just get to work and get a plan going to take over the castle. With this new map it should be super easy, so we’ll save her before anything goes wrong!”
“ Uh, so...” Rainbow Dash looked to Twilight while everypony else fussed over the map. “ This is, you know, the coolest piece of intel ever. Uh...but...okay, do you have, like, a spell to bring a book to life? Like, make it more...uh...”
“ Daring Do?” said Twilight with a knowing smile.
“ Yeah.” sighed Rainbow Dash, her one ear pinning back in embarrassment. “ I know, it’s just a silly little series, but it’s my way of escaping from...you know, all this. It’d be nice if it was a little more immersive.”
“ Daring Do is your favorite in my world.” said Twilight. Rainbow Dash cracked a smirk, obviously glad to hear it. “ When I get a chance, I can put a narration spell on it so that when you read a characters lines, they'll have their own voices in your head, and a spell to make the illustrations animate and act out their scenes. It’ll only take a few minutes.”
“ Thanks.” replied the pegasus. She gave Twilight a odd little smirk. “ You know, for a unicorn supremacist, you aren’t all that -”
A few moments of silence passed before a shriek brought attention back to Applejack and the Map.
Granny Smith had just broken through a vent and fallen into the Legions Barracks.
With creaking over old bones and the squeaking of flesh-tight latex, Granny Smith hopped onto her hooves, her black headband fluttering in the air-conditioning. Around her on every side were Legionnaires, scrambling for their weapons. She was outnumbers by dozens - not to mention many of her foes were unicorns.
“ Back off!” she hollered, spinning around to make sure nopony had stepped forwards yet. “ Don’t make me tan any of your hides!”
“ Heh.” chuckled a large stallion, drawing a sword. “ An old mare like you making threats? Are you sure you want to do that? Might go better if you just -”
“ Sonny, I’ve been kicking tail since before you were a speck in your pappy’s eye.” growled Granny Smith, facing the darkly armored knight. “ So you and your boys best clear a path and let me out.”
“ Or what? You’ll take off your belt and spank us?” snorted the stallion, drawing derisive laughter from the looming soldiers.
“ Oh, I’ll do more than take off my belt.” chuckled Granny Smith. “ I’ll take it all off.”
The soldiers paused for several seconds as she let their imaginations start up.
“ Oooh, yes. I’ll take off every ounce of latex and let it all hang out.” said the elderly mare with an evil tone, taking a step forwards. “ You ever seen what happened to an old mare who’s been wearing plastic for a week straight? You ever seen that old biddy take out a pair of fans and do an erotic dance, just for you? No, you ain’t ever seen anything like that. You’ve still got a pecker.”
Stopping in front of the stallion, she poked him in the chest.
“ But, believe you me, if you do not get out of my way right this instant, I will perform a poledance routine designed for mares one fifth of my age who ain’t supposed to have anything like the number of liverspots I’ve got. Your willy’ll bite itself off and flee from the room crying like a kicked dog.”
Every stallion in the room had eyes as wide and as white as dinner plates.
Granny Smith snorted and stamped her right front hoof. An instant later, the room was empty, save for a mote of dust or fluttering hair which was all that was left of the once mighty horde that had surrounded her.
“ Heh, young colts.” chortled Granny Smith, smiling as she trotted to the door.
“ I agree.” said a silken voice from the hallway. A second later, the armored and towering form of Prince Blueblood appeared, blocking the exit. “ No appreciation for the finer things in life.”
Granny Smith took a step back. This was bad - this unicorn was one of the top soldiers in the Legion...and his reputation was that he had rather exotic proclivities. The kind of proclivities that even a hickory switch couldn’t sort out.
“ Fine wine, fine art...fine mares.” said the Prince, levitating a glass of champagne to his lips and taking a tiny sip. “ And, you of course, know the secret to the better things is a little age.”
“ Back off, bucko.” said Granny Smith, glancing about - there had to be a knife or club somewhere.
“ Oh, come now. Make good on your threat.” said the Prince, licking his lips. “ I am here, blocking your way, obviously trying to engorge this already rowdy encounter.”
“ That’s a path that leads to madness, boy.” said Granny Smith, bracing herself as she stared down the Prince. “ You might want think you want to give it a try-”
“ Oh, I know, I know....” chortled Blueblood, the Frowny Face on his eyepatch drawing Granny Smith’s attention away from his gaze. “ Stare not into the abyss and all that...though I still think I’d really like to.”
Several tense seconds passed.
“ Well, boy, you asked for it.” muttered Granny Smith, biting down on the quick-release on her jumpsuit. “ Last chance to run. I suggest you get out of dodge while you’ve still got a ding-a-ling. I ain’t foolin when I say it’ll bite itself off.”
“ Don’t make me beg.”
SNAP! went the bodysuit, tearing away. FLAP! went the skin, sagging downwards.
“ Mmmmmmarvelous.” said Blueblood, flicking his eyepatch up so he could watch with both eyes as Granny Smith began to shake it as it ought not to be shook.
“ I’ve never seen a map light itself on fire before.” said Twilight, helping Rarity extinguish the hellfire that had issued forth from the square where the Legions Barracks had once been.
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Oh. Dear. Gawd. GRANNY.
2474117 HE HE ha ha haw HE HE HAW!
Oh Blueblood you little fox you
...GODDAMNIT I WANNA SEE GRANNY SMITH DO A BELLY DANCE
i think ill let Pinkie speak for me on teh contents of this chapter
BluebloodxGranny..is...best... ship?
I had to re-read the Granny Smith portion several times since I would think about it too hard and then my brain's self-preservation subroutines would kick in. And the worst part is those memories will resurface later at the most inopportune times.
I am torn between the desire to curse the author and to tip my hat to him. I'm sure he is amused by this.
Oh god why
Dat ending XD
Not bad at all. I like the racist bit... Although I'm starting to wonder what's up with evil Twilight.
Oh my god dude what the fuck was that.
...
...
Hnnnnnngggggh
...
...
What? All ponies are adorable. Even Granny Smith poledancing.
I was laughing until I realized I couldn't find it.
Damn you, damn you straight to Tartarus.
I think I am going to be sick
. Truly you are the greatest monster for writing this. And, Trixie. Don't mutilate yourself. You're beautiful the way you are.
... There were simply too many things that were absolutely hilarious about this chapter... and yes, Granny Smith was many of them, but that last scene...
Not enough brain-bleach in the world for that one.
2474161 Ha ha HEE haw! Thanks!
2474184 I like the way you think.
2474185 Move quick! it will probably try to flee down a hidey hole!
Hmmmm.
Maybe the realms are having an influence on the Twilight's within, but not in the "Turning you into the other you" sort of way?
Like, the good realm doing so by bringing up long smothered, beaten, burned, and buried feelings Librarian has towards her parents, and the evil realm turning Twilight's unicorn pride into racism?
It's just a wild shot in the dark, but it's mine
What Blueblood should be doing:
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw2764_small.jpg
What he's actually doing:
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw8878_small.jpg
What I'm doing:
*Spaghetti. Also, I thought we agreed never to mention the noodle incident again.
Oh, gods. I hope Blueblood brought... protection, otherwise Applejack may just wind up with a... no, I can't think of it. My brain will catch on fire.
I feel so sorry for all the guys who are reading this tic.
Dear lord that last part XD No matter how much mental bleach I use it will be always be there, saggy and wiggling
btw brobot is best ponybot
2474122 This knife, It'll be useful.
That mental imagery will haunt me. Good job.
So our lovable Twilight is subconsciously a racist?
What Granny Smith did was nothing short of using a weapon of mass destruction.
I think I'm gonna hurl....
Im surprise that Granny Smith didn't just win the war all by herself
My reactions to Granny Smith:
never seen a map light itself on fire before?
Pfft, you've clearly not spent enough time on the internet.
Well, if ALL the active Dungeon map spells burst into flame. Then they can now sneak in undetected.
There's only thing that can be said:
Sweet Celestia, how horrifying.
OH GOD
MY SIDES
Yep dat map
Must have a mind of it's own if even it can't stand the thought of seeing Granny Smith pole dancing.
2474357 Potato salad and nightmare fuel - not the sides you wanted, but the sides you got.
2474324 made my day with NosCrit.
2474269
It's got to be more than that.
Everybody is racist to a small point. It's ingrained into us biologically to be subconsciously more trusting of those we grew up with. Safety in familiarity and all that.
But something is forcing Twilight's natural racism into overdrive, and bringing it to the fore.
2474253
"So........basically 95% of this site?"
"I would say 98.99%."
Oh thank god I don't have a "Why Boner"
I'm not that bad yet!
Lots of grammar mistakes... but still overall a hilarious chapter. And oh GOD!!! The image of Granny dancing naked!
WHERE IS MY BRAIN BLEACH?!!!
That, good sir, was awesome.
Now if you'll excuse me... I need the industrial strength brain bleach to rid myself of the mental images Granny Smith and Blueblood have brought on.
~Skeeter The Lurker
i.imgur.com/E7rBWoL.png
But seriously, that bit with Granny... I haven't laughed that hard in days. Good stuff.
2474260 Saggy old mare crotch boobs... *makes it worse*
You do realize that scene is now the fics defining moment, don't you? It cannot be unread.
Brobot is pretty hilarious too, though.
Also we know the world is doing Something to the swapped Twilights; the vision change is a giveaway. If the Lord Librarian isn't racist then maybe its just making them act like what they THINK the other is? Twilight hasn't made any evil robots yet, has she?
Perfect ending line.
Hoo boy, finding out that it wasn't Evil Twi's influence making her racist, though... that's gotta be a blow to Twilight's self-identity. Still, she definitely doesn't act like that normally, and something's been affecting her eyesight, so maybe there's still something external bringing it out of her.
Or maybe she's just naturally a ticking time-bomb of tribalism (no, Trixie, tribalism. What you're thinking of is something different) and the Elements of Harmony kept it in check?
There are so many things wrong with this chapter, they haven't even invented the words to describe it.
More please.
XD Calvin and Hobbes!
SHAKE IT, BAKE IT, BOOTY QUAKE IT!
AaaaaaaAAAAAAGGGHH!! NONONONONONONONONONON-
Argh. I...ugh. Just...erf. I can't even. I have lost my ability to even. There were so many awful jokes/scenes this chapter. I...I just can't.
i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag40/Shanenator777/icantwasher.gif
Stop dicking around and get to the good stuff, I need to know what's up with poor Twilight.
“You know, for a unicorn supremacist, you aren’t all that -”
A few moments of silence passed before a shriek brought attention
So, what, did Rainbow Dash mistime her lines? Or does she just like not finishing sentences?
Love, what an ugly thing. No wait, that's Love's cousin, Love is actually quite pretty.
Don't worry, It'll be ok.
2474269 Naw, my best guess is that IF our Twilight was evil, she'd be racist, while monster-Twilight isn't. So she's turning evil, not turning into a copy of monster-T. Which makes me wonder what differences we might see in "good" monster-T.
BroBot and Granny Smith... my dreams are now haunted.
Wow. Just... wow.
I'm pretty sure I would pay good money to hear this as an audio adaption.