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Tundara

Joined February 2012
714 followers

Stories (10)

  • The Longest Night
    On the first night of Luna's banishment Celestia finds two alicorns in a crater.

    6,218 words · 16,328 views · 1,668 likes · 27 dislikes
  • Myths and Birthrights
    Twilight has to deal with new powers and troubles as an Alicorn.
    112,510 words · 10,248 views · 1,519 likes · 47 dislikes
  • Tiger Bloom
    Applebloom finds herself in the Everfree with a guardian that may be more dangerous than the forest.
    26,634 words · 2,654 views · 217 likes · 4 dislikes
  • Velvet Sparkle and the Queen in Stone
    Myths and Birthrights side-story: Velvet Sparkle recounts her younger years in a nation north of Equestria and the events leading up to her becoming the mother of Shining Amour and Twilight Sparkle
    39,950 words · 1,835 views · 185 likes · 5 dislikes
  • The Apple and the Fox
    4,417 words · 1,070 views · 132 likes · 6 dislikes
  • A Dream of Pride and Envy
    27,662 words · 522 views · 89 likes · 5 dislikes
  • Sins of the Ancients
    161,867 words · 1,920 views · 64 likes · 9 dislikes
  • March of the Marauder
    3,920 words · 278 views · 24 likes · 2 dislikes
  • Before The Fall
    12,635 words · 390 views · 15 likes · 2 dislikes
  • Helena
    2,237 words · 355 views · 8 likes · 3 dislikes

Blog Posts (127)

Source

This story is a sequel to The Longest Night

As her twenty-first birthday dawns, Twilight Sparkle finds her simple life turned upside down. While her birthright forces itself into her life, Twilight also has to deal with the arrival of three Alicorns. No pony knows where they came from or what they want, and the Alicorns seem intent on keeping themselves and their purposes hidden. To uncover the truth, Twilight will set sail for distant, ancient lands with old and new friends.

Side-Stories: Velvet Sparkle and the Queen in Stone, The Apple and the Fox, A Dream of Pride and Envy, The Castle Canterlot, by Honey Mead

TVTropes Page

Pre-readers/Editors: Honey Mead, WNA, Cerulean Voice

Cover art by Companda

Archived story location

Comments Contain Spoilers

First Published
3rd Dec 2012
Last Modified
27th Jun 2014

Comments ( 1,636 )

#1 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · 2 · 1 ·
#2 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

keep up the good work:twilightsmile:

#3 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · 2 · 1 ·

Hmm...Trixielion...Trixie...does this mean that The Great and Powerful Trixie will become a dragoon?

I'm guessing that the three OC alicorn fillies are from a parallel world.

That Sirius, being all sarcastic and witholding information from Twilight!:rainbowlaugh:

So we finally get to find out the identity of Twilight's real mother, and it's a doozy!

Please, don't let this be the end for Gilda!:fluttercry::raritydespair:

#4 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

"N-no, I am f—" Shyara's voice faltered as she became aware of heading straight towards her.
Aware of WHAT heading straight towards her? Otherwise a great chapter. But will Talona come quietly when she sees Gilda fall? Does she have a choice? Dangit, cliffhanger

#5 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

Gotta love me some worldbuilding. Little bit of history, a little bit of why Fluttershy and Dash are different fliers, little bit of Lion King...

"Nope!" the blue terror responded as she started to chase a meerkat and warthog that had been silently watching the trio pass.

Yea, I saw what you did there.

then loosing the glory of discovering Talona would be the least of her worries.

losing not loosing.

#6 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

Can someone post a "Well that escalated Quickly" image too lazy to get one.

#8 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

Peregrine sub-race of Pegasi

I do like this world building. Makes me wonder if there's going to be any earth or unicorn sub-races. With Shy as an Imperial Pegasi, I'm also curious to see if we're going to get any Raven Pegasi.

Oooo, and Twilight's mother shows up. I can't wait for that side-story.

#9 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

"N-no, I am f—" Shyara's voice faltered as she became aware of heading straight towards her.

There's a word missing between of and heading I think

Ahead she could see her destination, Polaris, the Lodestar gentling sparkling as it slumbered.

Gently sparkling

#10 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

28 view, yet 634 likes....impressive

#11 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

It's safe to asume that Twilight's mother isn't a Titan, but is actually on the good side?

#12 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1825944

28 views? More like 4000...

#13 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1825847

Most pegasi, especially background pegasi, are of the Raven variety. It's like a catch-all I'm using for those not specifically one of the other three. Though she's not in the story beyond a cameo, Derpy is a Kestrel Pegasi. In the lore for the setting part of her problem and clumsiness comes from her being a coastal pegasus living inland. Her wonky eyes don't help. :derpytongue2: This is almost entirely 'under-the-hood' details that wont ever really come to light or be of particular importance in the story itself, unlike Dash/Peregrine Pegasi and Fluttershy/Imperial Pegasi. It was just a little light-bulb moment while writing the Pegasi details and history in my setting file and researching the different types of bird wings.

>>1825873>>1825768>>1825744

Thank you. Corrections made. :twilightblush:

#14 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1825972

Closer to 5000 now.... :twilightoops:

#15 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

okay by betraying Gilda you just doomed your entire aerie. and that alicorn foal will not remain in your talons for long especially since you betrayed her benefactors to get her.

other than that Twilights mother seems nice enough so long as she remains repentant enough.

cheers:twilightsmile:

#16 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

First of all I have to say I think you're getting better with each chapter, so keep up the good work!

I didn't see Twilight's mother coming... but that whole bit raises more questions than it answers. The first of which is, "can we trust her?" So many questions that need answering!! Ah well...

And as for the griffins, I'm sure they have a terrible past that's made them the way they are... I still want Tia and Lulu to go and get that alicorn child away from them! The griffins will make her into a weapon... they'll get their weapon. And the filly will be cheated out of her childhood. Of course I'm wondering if the filly might try to leave because the griffins cast out the two griffins that found her and named her. I know she hasn't seen that much of the world yet but she really liked 'em.

Anyways, looking forward to the next updates.

#17 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

"You sure you're okay, darling?" Rarity asked for the tenth time. She'd been growing increasingly concerned by the twitch in the corner of Twilight's eye and how the alicorn constantly glanced towards the windows as if searching for an easy escape route.

Reminds me of my wedding:twilightblush:

#18 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

She Who Shall Not Be Named

-just wow

#19 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

I enjoyed reading this for the second (wait, or as it third) time.  I am throughly drawn into this story now, I envy your editors for being able to read it sooner...  wait a tick...

There are more to the griffons than meets the eye

They're like Transformers!  Though, I really want to see Gilda survive and return to kick some ass and save the filly.  Yeah, yeah, I know Gilda was a bitch, but the other gryphons are more bitches.

#20 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

I'm sorry if I missed this or I'm just forgetting, but what was he deal with Fleur in the beginning? She's mentioned in the description and in the story but I completely forget what her significance was.

#21 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1826586

There's a story called "Within and Without". The griffins are still a bit of militaristic people, but they're much more... non-violent(?). It's the biggest deviation from standard savarage race I've seen so far...

#22 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

>>>"A pegasus?" the officer sneered. "I hardly think bringing back one little meal is worthy of deserting your flock mates.">>>

Ok, they would freely eat the ponies.  That's strike 2 against them.

And they just abandon and kill their wounded.  You know, some of the worst nations the human race has ever produced don't even abandon or kill their own wounded soldiers, especially not with a family member watching.  This makes the griffons worse than humans.  That's right, WORSE THAN US!!!  

Strike 3, and now I prepare to exterminate them all.  None can stop the power of the Deux Ex Insert!  For I have all the powers.  Of everything.  :trollestia:

#23 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1826352 Fleur was originally visiting Ponyville to talk to Rarity after an argument with Fancy Pants.  Now she's a foal-sitter for the alicorn filly that Fluttershy found.

Hope that helps.:ajsmug:

#24 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1826726 Your Deus Ex Insert is no match for my Super Macguffin!:rainbowwild:

#25 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

What? There are people who don't like the griffons? Why don't you hate the buffalo while you're at it?

durn injuns

#26 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1826823

Close. She (Fleur) offered to raise Tyr, but Celestia selected Cadance as Tyr's primary care-giver. Fleur does foal-sit on occasion, such as during chapter 5.

#27 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1826931 Oops.:derpytongue2:

Fixed.:twilightsheepish:

#28 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1826827  I have Falcon Punch, the Super Spirit Bomb, , Ultimate Shinging Finger, all three of the eye-thingies from Naruto plus 10-tailed beast hyper-sage mode, and the Hogyoku from Bleach.

When I sneeze, a galaxy asplodes!  

And I am this old...    .....

(Notice he didn't say anything.)

THAT'S HOW OLD I AAAAAAAAAAM!!

#29 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1826823 oooookay, that makes sense, and I guess there's still more to come, thanks!

#30 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1826944 Well, I have Nyx!  Even Super Kami Guru is helpless before her cuteness!:rainbowwild:

I also have Super Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, which is so massive it can throw entire galaxies like frisbees!

#31 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1826726

This is a standard Griffon laugh;

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=CFg7esxnrXs]

#32 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1827013  Barney would know, since he's actually Doctor Horrible!  :pinkiegasp:

I wonder if the griffons will ever get a story in which they're not brutal, savage killers and devourers of ponies and zebra...

Though, "The Best of All Possible Worlds" has given them quite a bit more advanced society.  No pony-eating has gone on so far.  :yay:

#33 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1827035

Well the Griffons feature very heavily in the future, for obvious reasons. Maybe they'll get more depth (World-building, YAY!!).  But there have been lots of world building elements that have had to be left on the editing room floor. My 'Vault' file where I store such things is over 15k words long just from the first four chapters. Somehow, chapter 5 didn't have anything huge snipped. :twilightoops:

#34 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

the under laying power
I think you mean "underlying"

Taking her queue
"Queue" is a line for an event or such; the word you want is "cue"

gowns similar to Twilights.
Forgot an apostrophe

trinkets and artefacts.
It's spelled "artifacts"

#35 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1827067  Too late!  They ate ponies and zebras!  THEY ALL MUST DIE!!  NO MERCY FOR PONY-EATERS!!  :flutterrage:

#38 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

awesome chapter!:pinkiehappy:

i very nearly began laughing out loud when twilight's mother appeared and was named (which is bad; considering everyone else is sleeping), i find the fact that twi's mother was a merciless warlord bent on exterminating pony life very amusing. it's good to hear that she's generally not a cold heartless warlord, and that unique circumstances lead to that, similarly to NMM.

i don't like the gryphons, i know you've said to view them with an open mind, but seriously...

also; twilight and celestia/luna are cousins!:pinkiehappy:

#39 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

Shyara is 85 years old, and still a foal? But Twilight is 21 years old, and an adult? It's looking more and more like the three new Alicorns are from a parallel reality. And I'm not sure if it was supposed to be clear about Iridia, but I didn't at all understand what she was on about, talking about people being mad when they discovered a simulacrum in her place. Enemies of her own creation? Who? These "Lodges"? I have no idea who they are, if the word "Lodges" was supposed to make it clear, it failed spectacularly for me. :unsuresweetie:

Either way, I can't wait for the next arc, or this side-story.

#40 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1828296

Well as one of the editors for this story I can say this about most of your questions...

As to the age thing... and feel free to correct me Tundara...

But because Twilight was 'Fostered' she grew at the age of a normal pony until she 'Awakend'. Since the others did not go through this process they grew at the standard rate of an Alicorn, i.e. very slowly.

#41 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

So its time for someone to save Gilda's rear end and give her a boost a hand to ether get help from a old friend or save the Alicorn Filly (and get revenge for the death of her cousin and her almost death) OTHERWISE RIP Gilda and welcome the next Nightmare! :pinkiehappy: in all posbilites this seems awesome and you could even go past them and kick my rear end HOPE TO SEE MORE FORM YOU SOONER OR LATERS! :twilightsmile:

Gentle breeze guide you home, a warm smile to welcome your return. :twilightsmile:

#42 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1828241

Iridia, Luna/NMM, and Twilight are all very tightly intertwined. :twilightblush: Iridia's fall and Luna's descent into becoming NMM have the same origin actually. It's all very involved and in the back-story. Overtime details will come out. Likewise, why Celestia forgave Luna right away but still is harbouring a grudge against Iridia will be explained, even though the threat of NMM lasted *double checks notes* 8 years longer than Iridia's reign of terror. :twilightsmile:

#43 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1828296

The Lodges wasn't supposed to make it clear, but to lay ground-work. It simply wasn't the time in the story to go into super massive huge exposition and detail on Iridia's enemies and back-story. As it is I feel a bit like there was a bit too much of an exposition dump in chapter 5.

Ah, the ages of the foals. I'm torn about telling all the details and reasons why Shyara is 85 and still a filly, while Twilight is 21 and an adult. It's liable to be fully explained in the second arc, so for now I'll keep it under my cap, so to speak.

#44 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

I guess all I can say is, awesome story so far:scootangel:

I hope Gilda isn't dead, though. Maybe you'll set her up as a 'ghost', terrorizing the griffon army as she tries to assassinate the general and steal back Talona. There are my hopes and dreams for you to crush as you see fit,:pinkiesad2:

#45 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1828380

yes, i did think it was a little strange how celestia was very hostile towards iridia while she had been very forgiving towards luna, you could say that it's their bond as sisters, but with beings of celestia's age i think that still qualifies as hypocrisy. will be interesting to hear her reasons.

and in case you didn't catch my edit, this makes twi and celestia/luna cousins, right?:raritystarry:

#46 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1828362

Mostly correct. I can't remember now if I had the details in any of the drafts of chapter 4 or 5 that had Celestia going into detail about fostering and it's effects.

Um, how do you do spoilers? test did that work? Yes it did! Alrighty, on with the spoilers!  Remember folks, as River would say!

For the first few years of an alicorn filly's life everything seems mostly normal. Until they reach around the age of 10, or when ponies get their Cutie Marks. At that point they plateau and get 'stuck', physically, emotionally, and mentally, until they get their mark. This leads to a whole slew of emotional and mental issues even after they Awakening and 'growing up'. Hence Celestia's comment in chapter 4 of 'This is why we foster our foals'. And that isn't even everything written in the back-ground and world-details about fostering and alicorn aging. Shyara isn't even the oldest foal. Tyr is 135 yo. Then there are... well, you'll learn about them soon enough. I'm not going to spoil everything.

#47 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1828419

Correct, Celestia and Luna are Twilight's cousins. Cadence is Twilights 1st cousin once removed. :twilightsmile:

#49 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

The revelation that Iridia is Twilight's mother needs work. I actually passed it twice without noticing it so it definitely needs to stand out more. Also please don't inundate us with too many alicorn OCs. those should be used sparingly at best.

#50 · Chapter 8 · 84w, 1d ago · · ·

Ohhhh I think my heart jumped a bit in excitement when I read "Sure on this Shining Night." :raritystarry: Kudos for referencing that amazing song.

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