Myths and Birthrights
By Tundara
Book Two: Duty and Dreams
Chapter Sixteen: The Lord of the Dead
Twilight watched the duel with unseeing eyes. She’d hated duels since she’d been a filly.
Just as the duel began, the prayer scratching along the edges of her awareness grew to a fevered pitch. Torn between the duel and the prayer, Twilight focused on the latter for a few moments. Lowering her mental defenses, she at last placed the voice that had been nattering along the edge of perception since she’d stepped into the carriage as little Ophelia Navigator.
Curious as to why the midshipmare was being so persistent in her prayers, Twilight cast her mental eye far from the dry city, the ancient colosseum, and the horrid duel. Essence remaining firmly affixed to her body, it was Twilight’s vision alone that roamed out over the ocean. It was only a short distance, in the scope of the disc, to the Bellerophon. In the north, Zebrica could still be made out, a hazy shape in the miasmic horizon.
The Bellerophon plunged through a moderate swell, running under staysails in a fair northerly wind, her sides wreathed in curling smoke. At first, Twilight assumed they were practicing with their great guns again and half-turned to return to Zerubaba. Her assumption vanished in the flashing lights of the Bellerophon’s protective wards. Iron shot slammed into magical barriers already cracking under the strain of repeated barrages. Shards broke away leaving glittering trails like the tails of streaking stars. A few rounds found their way through the gaps, smashing into the ancient hull. Deadly oak splinters tore with brutal ease through rigging, canvas, and flesh alike. Landing in the ship’s waist, one ball careened through a group of seamares killing one outright, and maiming two more.
Orders flew in a thick flury across the deck in the shocking stillness that followed, punctuated by only a few spells from the Bellerophon’s marines up in the tops. From there they cast telekinetic stones in mimicry of the great guns. The Bellerophon’s cannons raged in a rolling thunder of belching fire and acrid smoke.
Spinning around, Twilight followed the cannons’ trajectory. Two hundreds yards away, the Princess Platinum shrugged off the barrage, circular golden barriers springing up to nullify the incoming fire. Only a single ball found a gap, bouncing off a wave and into a gun-port, unseating the cannon on the other side. Beneath white mountains of canvas, the Hackney First-Rate held the weathergage with a firm grip, yawing to bring her larboard cannons to bear and respond shot-for-shot. As the much larger ship brought her head about, Ophelia’s prayers came stronger than before.
Down among her gun-crew, the filly held a small metal replica of Twilight’s cutie-mark. She urged on mares three or four times her age to reload the guns faster and faster. Worming, spunging, powder, cannon ball, and wadding all done in the sweltering half-light. Covered in sweaty foam, the mares worked with drilled precision.
‘Protect us, Princess Twilight,’ Ophelia silently cried. Not just Ophelia, but near every mare and stallion on the Bellerophon entreated her for protection.
Twilight bit her lower lip, heart beating faster and faster of the enormity of what was unfolding before her became apparent. Hackney was attacking Equestria. Ponies were about to die. This was no simple monster getting loose from the Everfree Forest. As with the duel she was trying to avoid, a spectacle of pointless brutality was laid bare before her.
A thumping crash and heavy ringing booms brought Twilight out of her momentary shock.
Ophelia’s prayers reached a sharper tenor.
The young mare, truthfully still a filly, lay sprawled on her back in a spreading crimson pool. An oak sliver long as her leg was thrust through her left foreleg, blood bubbling in a thick flow.
Twilight’s heart stopped, that moment crystalizing in her memory.
Surprise. Terror. Pain. Ophelia’s face contorted as she stared at the razor sharp wood sticking from her.
“Miss Pin, take Miss Navigator below!” Roared Poetic Verse, the second lieutenant appearing to take Ophelia’s place at the gun. “Come on girls, we’ll show these Hackney asses that they picked the wrong fight! For Princess Twilight!”
In the same moment she called Twilight’s name, the second lieutenant lit the slow-match, and the cannon snapped back beneath the mare’s arching body as it belched fire and death.
Thin bands of power flitted across Twilight as the prayers mounted.
Insignificant, in the scope of her own normal reserves or those available in her stars, Twilight would have failed to even notice the relatively small amounts of aether. A tiny part of her wanted to stop and examine the aether or nature of prayers.
If only she’d the time.
Urgency bubbled in her stomach, mixing with the horror of the battle and self-loathing at her hesitation causing ponies to be hurt.
Mentally bracing, Twilight took the prayers coming from the Bellerophon, and used them to shape the ocean surface. Her being strained at first, the ocean itself fighting against her, rejecting her intrusion.
Another volley from the Princess Platinum frayed her nerves.
Clinical detachment impossible, Twilight could feel her grasp over the magic slip.
Twilight borrowed little strands of stray aether floating off her sleeping stars, mindling the minute reality altering filaments among her own, prodigious, magic. While nowhere near as concentrated or potent as the great bands of energy cast from Sirius during her fall, there was more than enough to conjure a thick, expansive bank of fog. A fog so thick a pony could barely see their own hooves.
Within moments both ships were engulfed, ponies on their decks staring about in amazement.
Cannons and spellwork petered out, and then stopped entirely.
“This is the work of Princess Twilight. The aura in this fog is unmistakable,” noted Fighting Spirit, the first lieutenant coming up to her captain. “Orders, sir?”
“Well, let us not waste this good fortune, eh,” Hardy didn’t grin, still deep in the calculating fury needed for battle. “Keep the mares at their stations and pass the word for silence. Stay the course for an hour, then put us South-South-East. We may still make it out of this, afterall.”
The tenor of the prayers changing into thanks rather than desperation or grim resolve. Her own spirits were still confused, heart beating as if she’d been in the thick of the action herself. Ophelia still lived, that little Twilight could sense. For how long with such a wound, Twilight avoided contemplating, and put her trust in the good doctor. He’d see to the wounded.
She hovered over the ships as they slowly grew apart, the Princess Platinum tacking to head back to Zerubaba.
Twilight closed her mind’s eye on the Bellerophon, and opened her real eyes in time to witness Fleur’s heroic charge.
Rainbow was on the edge of her seat, Applejack’s hoof clamped on her tail to keep her from flying down into the arena since the start.
“Come on Fleur, you got this!” Rainbow yelled at the top of her lungs, wings almost buzzing as they lifted her off her seat.
Fleur dashed across the arena, fearless and bold. Emotions still in a state of flux, Twilight wanted to look away, but found herself instantly rapt, unable to pry her gaze from what unfolded. If she had, she would have missed the silvery-blue glow that filled Fleur’s determined eyes.
Luna and Twilight both leaned closer, and Fluttershy gasped behind a raised hoof.
Divine presence flowed from Fleur, lapping against Twilight like waves upon the shores of a disturbed pond. Unmistakable in nature, but weak and faded. Were she any less focused on Fleur, it would have been easy to dismiss as her imagination.
Twilight pinched her brows together when Fleur skidded to a stop just a short distance from Algol.
“Hey, why did she stop!?” Rainbow demanded, thumping a hoof on her chair. “She was about to win!”
A flutter of movement, and a cold breeze tickled across the tips of Twilight’s ears. Turning, Twilight saw a thane appear on the balcony next to Princess Hattmettren. Caught up in the duel, Twilight only realised the spirits nature in the moment he reached out a wing, and with a gentle touch drew Hattmettren’s soul from her body. With a soft sigh the zebrican princess fell forward, caught at the last moment by Twilight’s magic before she could strike the ground.
Her shock had barely faded before she spotted more and more thanes emerging from the Winterlands, an entire procession landing amongst the crowd of zebras. Scattered confusion, already spreading at the sudden halting of the duel just as it was culminating, broke into a smattering of plaintive yells. A landslide of fear broke through the crowd, voices that had been excited now raised in terror.
Leaping off her gilded coach, Maatsheptra grabbed her daughter from Twilight’s aura. “Hattmettren? Speak to me, my little flower! What has happened to her?” She demanded, turning a furious gaze at Twilight.
“It was not her,” Luna said, already on her hooves, magic alighting along her horn. A silvery light cascaded across the colosseum, illuminating every thane it touched. Renewed shrieks filled the colosseum, zebras stampeding to escape from the swooping black forms. Emotionlessly, they set among the mortals, snatching the souls from fillies seemingly at random.
Maatsheptra held her limp daughter close, pressing her to her chest and staring daggers at the thanes.
The thane with Hattmettren’s soul remained on the balcony, watching the empress with a pitying gaze. He continued to hold Hattmettren’s ghostly soul tight as he faced the goddesses. Next to him, the ghostly princess gazed around in fear. She tried to speak, but no words came forth. Her hooves reached out to her mother, and passed through Maatsheptra like smoke. Laying his wing across Hattmettren’s withers, he shook his head and began to guide her away.
“Stop!” Fluttershy’s command resonated across the arena, Power laced through the simple word.
Halting, the thane turned back and regarded Fluttershy with pity, and embarrassment. His form grew more solid, until the alert guards and empress gasped, staring in wonderment at his materialization. Ignoring the spears leveled at him, the thane gave a little bow to the alicorns.
“We take no pleasure in this task, great ones,” he said sadly. “Lord Hades has commanded we take as hostage every firstborn daughter until such time as His has been returned.”
“Father has done this?” Fluttershy rocked back on her hooves, hoof flying up to cover her mouth. “But, I am fine! He doesn’t need to attack the mortals! You are a thane. You are meant to guide the mortals, not steal them!”
Shaking his head, the thane responded, “We are those honour-bound to Hades, and are unable to refuse his commands. By His will every first born daughter of Astraea’s faithful are to be taken until such time as you are returned to Him.”
“That is horrible!” Applejack growled, half interposing herself between the thane and Fluttershy. “What kind of monster goes after foals?”
“T-This is my fault!” Fluttershy choked, tension running through her jaw. “I should have known he’d do something like this. He was so angry at Twilight when he thought her the cause of me choosing Fluttershy over Artemis.”
Twilight’s brow quirked upwards, but there was no time to follow-up. They needed to stop the thanes first. Twilight’s eyes connected with Fluttershy, both reaching the same conclusion. While Twilight began to wrack her memory, and touch her stars, in search of a way of driving away the thanes, Fluttershy charged a spell.
“Luna, I need your help,” Fluttershy barked, setting her hooves as an ethereal emerald dome grew from the tip of her horn. “Keep the thanes anchored on the disc with your light.”
Slowly, then quicker and quicker, the dome expanded to encompass the colosseum, and then the entire city. The thane holding Hattmettren grunted, pushed back across the royal balcony by the spell. Gritting his teeth, he lowered himself, much like he was having to force his way through a violent wind. Caught off-guard, the other thanes were cast away, repelled by the magic Fluttershy and Luna spun.
Turning his sad gaze to Twilight, the thane shouted, “Return what you stole from Him, Astraea. Return Artemis, and He will return to the mortals their daughters. He awaits you in Southstone Spires.”
With this the thane cut a gash into the Winterlands with a wing, and vanished with his hostage. Overhead, his brethren circled the dome like wolves around the edges of light cast by a bonfire.
The calm center of a swirling storm, Twilight knew she had to act, that she would act. It was only a matter as to how.
Her gaze dipped for the briefest of instants to the arena grounds where Fleur and Algol stood a few lengths apart. She could have prevented the duel so easily. Twilight berated herself for allowing it to go ahead, for allowing herself to accept the political and tradition based arguments for allowing it to proceed.
Images of Southern Prance, of the destruction caused in the fight between Faust and Zeus, flared briefly. A mountain shattered, homes and towns destroyed, forests turned to ash, and a canyon carved through the heart of once verdant lands. Even were Rarity alive, and the Elements of Harmony an option, Twilight balked at the idea of bringing her friends into a fight with a Gaean alicorn. Fluttershy was protecting this city, eyes closed tight as she weaved the spell to keep the thanes at bay. Rainbow and Applejack would be angry with her, but they’d be safer with Fluttershy and Luna.
Prayers, thousands of them, cascaded about her, rising from the hearts of zebras throughout the city. They begged, they pleaded, they demanded her protection.
Just as the Bellerophon’s had moments before.
Fresh memories of Ophelia being carried to the orlop crashed over Twilight.
‘Princess Twilight,’ thousands cried in discordant unison. ‘Hear our pleas, save our daughters. Protect them.’
It fell into place, like she’d reached the eye of the storm. Epiphany struck, a strong sense of what she must do flowing through her. On Marelantis she’d refused to act. Because of her inaction ponies had suffered. Had died. This time she refused to stay on the sidelines while Her Little Ponies suffered.
Twilight leapt skyward, Luna and her friends calling for her to wait. Confidence and purpose carried her higher and higher. Here was a problem she could resolve. A great evil had arisen, and she would meet it head on. Channeling magic through her wings, Twilight boomed across the afternoon sky. She’d never flown so fast, never dared to dream it possible. Behind her Rainbow Dash followed, a trail of rainbow light in her wake as she tried to catch up. Whispering that she was sorry, Twilight accelerated away, and within moments Rainbow had vanished in the floating haze of the horizon.
Beneath her Zebrica sped along faster and faster. Hills undulated, verdant fields turned into golden grasslands, dotted here and there by lonely trees and copses. Towns, with thick pale walls, hugged the rivers and streams, while villages clustered around watering holes.
Her heart reached out to every town and village she passed. She had to protect them. She had to shelter them. Keep them safe. She could keep them safe. She was the most powerful pony.
If only she acted.
An army, vast and snaking through the savanna, appeared beneath her. A zebrican army, from the striped coats and plumed helmets. They gazed up at her as she streaked overhead, and many sent her prayers, seeking her protection in the wars they fought.
Twilight snorted in contempt.
There was no need for armies, or war.
Not anymore.
Southstone came into view, the mountain shadowed by thick, foreboding clouds. Malevolence and hatred permeated the air, cloying in Twilight’s coat like a pungent fog. Her breath steamed in the suddenly frigid air. There was no warmth, no life. The streets were barren, and the windows of homes dark and empty. Death hung over the city, and affirmed that what she was doing was right.
Hades glowed like a torch amongst all the emptiness, and Twilight angled her descent towards where he waited. Following the path he’d laid, the gates and doors shattered before her, and Twilight entered the former throneroom of Southstone Spires.
The God of the Dead sat on his throne, blue eyes narrowed into hateful slits, hoof idly tapping the legrest with impatience. He wore barding of a sort Twilight had never before seen. Sculpted to fit the contours of his broad chest and flanks, the armour appeared almost soft, pliable, without the sheen of metal. With grotesque understanding, Twilight saw that he wore leather; armour made from the hides of other ponies. At his side hovered a black bident, bladed spires like dancing serpents.
Twilight began one of her speeches, prepared to explain how she would stop his madness and save everypony, only for the words to falter in her throat. Beside him a familiar trio lit up with hopeful joy at seeing Twilight, and with them Talona and… Twilight could not place the other young alicorn.
All five fillies began to make noise, and all were hushed by an extended wing. Hades rose from his throne and glared down at Twilight with murderous intent.
“Where is my daughter? Where is Artemis? Return her to me, and all will be forgiven.”
“Fluttershy is in Zerubaba, keeping the city safe from you!” Twilight growled through grit teeth. She hadn’t anticipated the Cutie Mark Crusaders presence. With them next to Hades she couldn’t attack, and settled on the inevitable monologuing and taunts villains seemed to favour with shocking uniformity. She needed to draw him away from the fillies. “What kind of coward steals the souls of fillies and uses them as a shield? Of all the crazy gods I’ve faced, you are the most pathetic.”
Hades slammed his bident down, a deep, ringing boom filling the castle.“The sins of the god are visited upon her followers. It was your actions that brought this misery down on the mortals.”
Upper lip curling, Hades advanced a step.
He slowed, hesitated. Twilight smirked, a rejoinder on the strengths of Friendship already dancing on her tongue in anticipation of his counter argument. Instead he pinched his brows together and looked on her with confusion, then amusement.
“It would seem none of this matters, as Algol’s information was correct.”
It was Twilight’s turn to be confused. Behind Hades, the fillies likewise bristled, the Crusaders muttering to one another before Scootaloo shouted, “Get him, Twilight! Show him who is boss!”
Hades ignored the fillies. His features grew dispassionate, all emotion seeping away like dried leaves sloughing off a stone.
“Kneel.”
To her dismay, Twilight bent her knees. She strained against the command, muscles taught as steel cables screaming with the effort of resistance. She shook, trembling as she fought to break the compulsion. Fire flared through every muscle. The ground beneath her cracked as she battled for dominion over her own body.
“Kneel!” Hades thundered, cracking the base of his bident in a ringing clang on the floor.
Growls lodged in her throat, one of Twilight’s legs buckled. It was as if Sol and Selene rested on her withers, their great weight pressing her into the ground. Twilight clenched teeth, at war with her own body as it sought to follow Hades’ command.
This was impossible! None of the many layered barriers protecting her mind had been so much as scratched by an attempted intrusion. Her mind was still her own, yet she continued to slowly bend her knees.
Breaths came in laboured gasps.
Her wings crashed to the floor, followed by another knee.
Grinning wide, Hades strode up to Twilight and lowered his mouth to her ear. “You will go to Zerubaba. You will retrieve my daughter, regardless of whatever name she chooses to call herself, and you will bring her to me.”
“I. Refuse.” Twilight managed to snarl, having to drag the words over her tongue.
“You, my foolish Twilight, are in no position to contest my will.” Placing a hoof to Twilight’s chest, he added, “You are already dead,” and pushed.
His hoof fell into her, passing through her body like so much smoke, and Twilight stifled a sharp gasp as ice burnt through her being. He caressed the shattered chains lying about the shores of her magic, and then brushed his hoof against a deeper void. Her essence recoiled and writhed at his ethereal touch. Inside the core of her being silvery lightning crackled, attempting to repel Hades’ intrusion, only highlighting a gulf at the core of her being.
No! She refused to believe him.
It was a trick, just like Nightmare Moon or Discord had tried, or Chrysalis with Cadence.
Twilight grabbed the chains, all of them, those that were discarded and worn by time, and those that still shone and connected her to the stars. She pulled on all of them, bringing them into her.
In the high heavens, unseen to all but Sol and Selene, the sun beginning her descent towards the west and the moon newly risen in the east, the stars vanished. Twilight brought them to her, into her, filling herself with their light, much like she would for but a moment when bringing them down to the disc. Confused at first, torn from their sleep, the stars clamoured for answers in a deafening cacophony. Twilight silenced them with a thought. She was the Stars, and they were Her, and they would obey.
Her coat glowed, a brilliant shimmer that stretched from the tips of her wings across her coat. Her mane grew and deepened into an obsidian sheet without any hint of her natural lavender tones, replaced by the stars blooming with an almost blinding brilliance
Straining, Twilight battled to contain the stars, to bring them in line until they all spoke with a singular voice. Her voice. Resonating with those that belonged to her stars. She never felt so much power, so much aether coursing through her body, threatening to burn her up if she’d been anything but an alicorn. Aether leaked from her eyes, the edges of feathers, her shorn fetlocks, and even from her mane and tail.
Slowly, Twilight stood, and looked up in time to see Hades’ launch a screaming spell.
Body sluggish, Twilight was struck her in the chest, and hurtled backwards. The floor gave way beneath her, ripped asunder by the stray energies crackling from the black core of the God of the Dead’s magic. Beyond the physical, the magic ripped at her soul, shredding the edges of her essence. Twilight let out a piercing scream that tore her throat raw. She landed on the edge of a crate, wood splintering around her, and rolled till she reached a broken stone arch.
Hades descended through the hole on spread wings into the vaults beneath the castle, giving her no chance to gather herself.
Blood filled Twilight’s mouth and nose, bursting out in a long, ragged cough that glowed in a silver stream on the dusty floor. Her legs twitched, unwilling to follow her commands. Everything was numb, and the stars filling her only added to the confusion.
Hades clicked his tongue in disappointment as he landed. “Did you have any plan at all when you came here?” The words rolled sardonically from his tongue, his gaze almost pitying. “Are you that overconfident? I am the King of Tartarus. A position I have maintained for countless years against the plots and encroachments of dozens of gods. Gods in whose presence you would shrink like a timid flower.”
Raising his wings high, Hades gestured to the city beyond. “And here, in Tartarus, I am still King. I have laid my realm over this pathetic, backwaters of a world. This is why, even with all your stars, were you not half-dead inside, I would still best you. As it stands, you were never a threat, and a fight was never needed. All I have ever wanted is my daughter back. But, you have taken her. Stolen her memories. Twisted her. Confused her. Made her believe herself a mortal. A mortal!”
Cold fury poured from his ice blue eyes, and deformed his face. He lifted his bident over Twilight, blades pointed at her throat.
“Mr. Hades! No!” Screamed the unknown filly, slamming against his side with all her little weight.
It was just enough to redirect his blow, the points of his bident sinking into the stone next to Twilight. His concentration faltered, and he twisted around to stare down the filly. Rage contorted his features, made him wild and terrifying. The filly returned his stare, chin thrust forward as tears ran down her face.
“You promised me, Mr. Hades. You promised me!”
For an instant Hades’ resolve cracked, and Twilight took the opportunity presented.
She had to escape. Get away and make a plan. The veil in the chamber was thin. So thin she could almost see the Winterlands with the naked eye. Stars filling every fibre of her being, she reached out and pushed against the barrier. There was a soft, pliable resistance, and then she collapsed into the Winterlands, and then beyond.
Behind her boomed Hades’ roar of denied rage.
She fell, and fell, and fell through a twisting void.
It was nothing like riding the currents of Aether when teleporting. The void was neither cold, nor warm. There was no light, but she could see her hoof just fine. Familiarity prickled at her. She’d been here before, lost and spinning as she fell through the endless emptiness, surrounding and protecting nine precious objects.
Vague memories surfaced, like old fillyhood photos in an album. Memories that were not her own. Memories that began with flames and sorrow before stretching across a vastness impossible to count.
As in the memories, Twilight was lost.
Lost and falling.
Before her she saw a mote, like a single star. But it was not a star. All the stars were inside of her, clutching each other in terror as their mistress plummeted through the space between realms. Body aflame, Twilight angled towards the light. She knew it was her only hope. She stretched out, desperate to reach the light before it passed.
Closer and closer it came, growing until it was the size of Sol. With dread, Twilight realised that she would fail to reach it, that it would hurtle past and be gone. Primal fear instilled her wings with a burst of new strength. Desperation clawed through her. Her wings beat against the nothingness. The surface of the light cleared, and for an instant Twilight saw a maze. And then the light was bellowing past her.
At the last moment her hoof scraped the edge of the light, and stuck fast. Like sap, the light held her, and then dragged her inside. There was another moment of falling, of hitting something hard and wooden, objects scattering about her, and then Twilight was on another stone floor, staring up at a vaulted ceiling far overhead.
Exhausted, she finally let go, and drifted into fitful sleep.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
A sickening sense of dread filled Fleur the moment Twilight vanished into the horizon. It had been a lie. Coming to Zebrica, the gala, the consideration shown by the Empress, the duel; all carefully orchestrated.
Algol began to laugh. The demonstar sank to her haunches as tears of mirth streamed down her face. She leaned back, staring up at the sky, gaze lost in the wandering blue expanse. Slowly, her eyes fell to the panicking crowds, the parents trying to wake their daughters, and she laughed harder still.
“And so the bit is flipped. Which way will it land? Twisted hues of madness and the deep blues of despair? Or will she find her way to shores pink and gold? So much still to accomplish before I can rest.” With a sigh, Algol pushed herself up and turned away from Fleur.
“You truly are a demon,” Fleur spat, shaking with impotent fury.
Algol slowed, and cast a dreamy look over her shoulder. “No, I only consort with them, on occasion.”
With this Algol spread her wings and leapt skyward. For a brief moment Fleur wondered if Algol was going to chase after Twilight, but instead the former star circled the colosseum once, and then swooped low before heading off towards the Golden Palace.
Unsure what else she could do, Fleur made her way out of the arena grounds and towards the royal balcony. Along the way she discarded the tattered remnants of her armour, sloughing it off with magic as she would a dress after an exhausting gala. Altanairis alone remained, the new artifact slowly regaining its lustre as it fed on ambient magic.
Fleur worried over Algol’s plans as she hurried through the corridors. Try as she might, with so little information, all she could conclude was that Algol had more plans, and that they were aimed at hurting Princess Twilight. Beyond that, everything was unknown, from the methods of the Demonstar’s designs, to her end goal itself.
Fleur skid to a stop as she nearly collided with Pinkie Pie leading the other Elements, the empress, and a small number of guards. Fluttershy and Luna, however, were conspicuously absent.
“Pinkie, there are only three of us!” Applejack was protesting, voice a deep growl in the back of her throat, as if she was trying to chew her words. “I ain’t gotta tell you that without Twilight we got no plan.”
“Fleur!” Rainbow cried with joyous surprise, leaping over Pinkie to give Fleur a playful bump, and interrupting the flow of conversation. “That fight was crazy, huh? Reminded me of our fight with Nightmare Moon. You were pretty cool out there. Guess Princess Luna’s training paid off, huh?”
Rainbow wore a wide grin, but her eyes shone with barely constrained anger and worry. A thin sheen of sweat and dirt clung to her coat. If she were trying to distract herself, or pay Fleur a compliment, the effect was quickly broken by the procession barely slowing on their way out of the colosseum.
“Come on you two, we got bigger trees to buck now,” Applejack called as she marched away.
Shrugging, Rainbow fell in beside Applejack, Fleur quick to join them.
“What happened on the balcony?” Fleur asked, seeking to fill the gaps of her knowledge. She needed to know more before guessing at Algol’s next move.
“Princess Luna and Fluttershy put a stop to them thieves stealing any more souls,” Applejack supplied, and then detailed what the thane had said before Twilight took off to confront Hades.
Fleur’s ears folded back. Both at the cruelty of Hades, and at Algol for whatever role she’d played in the horror gripping the city. Fleur cast a suspicious glance at the empress. She was also involved, though how or why escaped Fleur.
It seemed ludicrous for anypony to consider plotting against the alicorns. Were they not the heads of state for the strongest nation, they would still be far beyond the power of any mortal queendom or empire. They had power over Day and Night, and other fundamental forces of the world. Conspiring against one of their number was foolish, and the empress struck Fleur as anything but a fool.
Yet, here they were, with Twilight gone while Luna and Fluttershy were ‘contained’ keeping the city safe. This did nothing to account for Celestia, Cadence, Faust, or especially Iridia. Fleur’s ears pricked up, and she looked around again trying to spot either of the queens. Her stomach tightened when she was told both left before the duel even began.
Head lowered in thought, Fleur mounted the carriage, and remained silent as they were carried through empty streets to the palace. Worried faces poked out of windows, glaring up at the shimmering dome covering Zerubaba. Here and there a zebra stumbled along a street as if in a daze. A large crowd had gathered on the grounds of the Tamil Tahree, the carriages giving both a wide berth as they rumbled along. The zebras prostrated themselves as they chanted in prayer, some beating themselves, or splayed out in sobbing hysterics.
Fleur rode with Rainbow Dash, and both stayed silent the entire trip. Rainbow’s face was cast in a stern mold, a hoof idly rubbing at the side of her belly. No matter what protests she faced Rainbow would refuse to be side-lined a second time.
All too soon they arrived at the palace.
Before the carriages rolled to a stop, Pinkie bounced out of her carriage, Applejack’s stern voice calling for her to slow down. Face set into a determined line, Pinkie paid her no heed and dashed into the palace. Sighing, Fleur was close on Rainbow’s tail as she and Applejack raced to keep up.
Pinkie darted through the palace, ducking beneath zebras legs and kicking up over obstacles with flips or running along the walls. Reflexes verging on precognition, Pinkie avoided so much as missing a single step as she made her way through the chaos gripping the palace. A score of sprawling zebras were left in her wake as they ducked, reared in shock, or tripped attempting to avoid a collision with far less proficiency.
Stuck having to work their way through the mess, Fleur and the others were quickly left behind. Only Rainbow had any hope of keeping up, scattering papers and zebras alike as she zoomed over head in order to catch up. Trailing further and further behind, Fleur and Applejack were stuck having to navigate the confusion, while the empress and her entourage followed at a stately pace.
In a foalish pique of annoyance after tripping over a scrambling page, Fleur lashed out with her magic, shoving the disjointed mess of zebras to either wall. Despite holding near two dozen struggling zebras up near the ceiling, she barely noticed the impressive feat and would only later worry over how much Athena’s intrusion into her very being had changed her.
As they reached an intersection, Fleur caught sight of Algol in the corner of her eye, the Demonstar leading another pegasus by an iron chain.
Skidding to a stop, Fleur twisted to stare between the rapidly disappearing Applejack and Sirius. Fleur blinked a couple times. In the back of her mind something cracked, and then shattered. In a heavy flood, memories of her meeting with Sirius and their discovery by Algol returned. Fleur reeled, her mouth falling open as bile filled her throat.
“Fleur! Come on!” Applejack called over her withers.
Smiling sweetly, Algol tapped a feather to her lips, and whispered, “See you in Southstone Spires.” Throwing a broad wing over Sirius, shadows leapt up over and consumed the fallen stars.
Promising that when next she met Algol they would finish their duel, Fleur hurried after the Elements.
Surprisingly, it wasn’t to the rooms the other Elements shared with Fleur that Pinkie led them, but Twilight’s. By the time Fleur had caught up, Pinkie stood reared up next to an open window, the large, pink crystal that had been Authea held away from where Applejack and Rainbow stood.
“Pinkie, what are you doing?” Rainbow advanced a half-step, only to stop as Pinkie held the crystal higher.
“Helping!” Pinkie shouted, face contorted with conflicting emotions. Her hooves shook, and her lanky mane fell over her eyes.
“Let’s talk about this, sugarcube.” Applejack tried to wave Pinkie closer. “We are all worried about Twilight, but—”
“I can hear her!” Pinkie sobbed, wavering closer to the window. “I can hear the alicorn ghostie. She is so so, sooooo sad. She needs me.”
Pinkie then drove the crystal into her head, her friends shouting for her to stop. With a heavy thunk the crystal bounced off her head and out of her hooves, landing with a heavy, singular ‘thunk’ on the tile floor. It didn’t shatter or break or chip. It failed to so much as bounce. It did, however, leave slight depression in the floor where it landed, a cradling in a spiderweb of cracks.
Groaning, Pinkie rubbed her forehead, a bump already beginning to form.
“That is going to leave an ouchie,” she moaned between hissed breaths.
“Well, next time listen when we’re telling you to hold your horses,” Applejack said with a growl more exasperated than annoyed. She grabbed Pinkie by the cheeks, turning her friend’s head this way and that to inspect the growing lump. “You get the darndest notions into that noggin’ of yours.”
“What were you even hoping to accomplish? We need to go after Twilight, not mess around with rocks.” Rainbow gritted her teeth, shifting from hoof to hoof as she eyed the door and windows.
While the Elements bantered and reassured each other, Fleur reached out for the crystal. Her magic was grabbed, clasped in a grip so cold it burned the core of her horn. Foreign thoughts invaded her, replaced her, insinuating themselves over the contours of her mind and forcing her down strange paths.
Twilight’s quarters vanished, replaced by smoke, flame, and death.
The Citadel of Light was burning. Thick, acrid smoke coiled through the corridors. Bodies littered the ground, the citadel’s defenders refusing to cede any more ground to the invaders. Ponies, dryads, minotaurs, and griffon alike mingled together in death. The ground shook as giant, flaming boulders impacted magic hardened walls. Fury not her own choked Fleur’s throat, and she marched through the death with purpose. Pallas and Aegis hovered at her sides, the ancient weapons as hungry for battle as their mistress.
In a silver flash that left Fleur staggering, the citadel vanished, replaced by rolling, grassy fields and a balmy spring day. A small temple sat on a nearby hill, white marble colonnades holding up a blue-tiled dome.
A priestess waited at the base of a short set of steps. She wore simple adornments, a beaded necklace, laced sandals, and a light, airy shift cinched tight with a rope belt. Saying nothing, the priestess bowed as Fleur approached, and then lead the way into the temple.
Reclining before a statue of herself, Authea smiled as Fleur appeared. Her bright blue eyes shimmered with mischief, and with a swish of her horn, she summoned a long table covered in cornucopias of food and decanters of chilled wine.
“Well, this is an interesting meeting,” the Goddess of Hope giggled, and indicated Fleur should take the seat next to her. Cocking her head to the side, Authea narrowed her eyes and searched Fleur’s face. “You seem familiar. Have we met before?”
“Cousin, must you always act the fool?” Fleur sighed, a wing rising to rub her temple in exasperation. “I require your aid.”
Blinking a few times as if she’d been staring at the sun, Authea leaned back and sighed. “Oh, are you here as well? Well, then, this is going to be a fun conversation. I am unable to promise the answers you Hope, only those you need.”
Authea giggled at her own wit, eyes sparkling with mirth.
Snorting, Fleur picked up a fresh pomegranate, and peeled the fruit with exacting care. “The Olympians grow too bold. Hades stole Nyx, and now the heavens are in disorder.”
“Would you have preferred he took Persephone, and Demeter starve the world of the Spring?” Authea countered with a stifled laugh. When Fleur tilted her head in confusion, Authea continued, “Another story of another world, with players much like ourselves, dear-heart. Please, continue.”
“He has wronged us, and we must strike back. At the very least rescue our aunt.” Fleur beat her wings, and a great gust of wind burst from the temple, racing out over the sunny meadows. “The Olympians laugh at our weakness, at how timid we’ve become.”
“Hmmm, then Hemera should go to Lord Zeus with these grievances. Anything else will lead to war. Or, would you rather I go to my father? Mind, He listens to me no more than any other. The only council He trusts is His own… for now. In time He will find His equal, but you will not wait for them to meet.” Authea held up a hoof, forestalling Fleur. “No, say nothing else, dear-heart, and I will give you my council…”
Authea propped her chin on a hoof, and contemplated the fields outside her temple. A long procession of supplicants could be seen making their way along a narrow, cobblestone path. She clicked her tongue. Tilted her head. A whimsical laugh bubbled through her, and her eyes crinkled.
“Cousin, please! I need answers.” Fleur threw open her wings in exasperation.
“Answers? What makes you think I am in the business of providing them?” Authea snapped, amusement cracking as she crossed her hooves. “You came here looking for confirmation to what you already know. You and the other.”
“What ‘other’?” Fleur narrowed her eyes, and searched for whoever was spying on her. She detected nothing to indicate anypony was attempting to listen in on the conversation. Even the other gods knew better than to eavesdrop on another god’s temple.
Again, motioning for Fleur to stay quiet, Authea said, “Fine, if it will make you go away I’ll give you a snippet of Hope. Trust yourself. Trust the plans made. I make no promises of success, nor that everypony will come home, only that if you persevere there is chance. I am sorry to give only generic platitudes. You have come far seeking more, but even I can’t see the future. All I see are the currents of Hope, and the ways in which they may be navigated.”
Pausing, Authea gave Fleur a long, piercing stare, the blue of her eyes shining brighter still with intensity. She then leaned over, and gave Fleur a kiss on the cheek.
“I wish I could be of greater assistance, but I am already gone, and this advice is all I can give,” Authea’s smile turned sad, and with a deep breath, she said, “Now, as for you, dear Athena…”
And, with that, Authea, the temple, and the sunny fields melted away, replaced by the splendor of the Golden Palace. Staggering, Fleur bumped up against a strong shoulder that kept her from falling.
“Whoa there! You okay, sugarcube?” Applejack asked as she held Fleur up.
“You had another vision, didn’t you,” Rainbow said, coming over to scoop up Authea’s crystal with a wing.
Nodding, Fleur worked her dry mouth. Guided to a seat, Fleur recounted what she’d seen.
“How could some pony on another world know what is happening now, here?” Applejack demanded, chewing on the side of her cheek as she pinched her brow into a tight furrow. “So, she talked with you, even though she is dead? Celestia’s mane, this makes my head hurt.”
“Hardly matters, as she told Fleur to do what we were going to do anyways.” Rainbow snorted, rolled her wings, and headed towards the door.
Fleur gave an emphatic nod. “Oui. I must find Algol. I believe she is the true enemy Authea warned me about, and has captured Sirius. She is involved in the attack on the colosseum, somehow.”
“Algol is my most trusted advisor,” said the empress as she threw open the heavy doors and sauntered into the room. With jaw set, and a furious flash behind her draconian eyes, she gave a slight stomp. “She raised me, taught me all I know. She would never betray me.”
“I didn’t think you’d just ignore the plain truth when it kicked you in the jaw,” Applejack countered.
Considering Applejack for a moment, Maatsheptra nodded slowly. “If this is true, then I would have Algol brought to justice. Lord Halphamet!”
At the call of his name, the burly zebra pushed his way through the door. Beneath his helm he carried a deep scowl, and his eyes flashed red with magic. Heat rolled off his armoured body, distorting the very air around him.
“Lord Halphamet, you and the dahkrit are to escort the Elements of Harmony to my army. Contain Southstone Spires by any means necessary, then assist the Elements in entering the city. If you find Algol, bring her to me, but even she is of secondary concern. Do not return until the souls of my subjects have been secured. Burn everything else in your path if you must, but I will not have my subjects suffer for the gods’ feuds.”
The large zebra bowed low, and with a glance indicated that the Elements should follow before spinning on his hooves to march off.
“That’s, uh, real nice and all,” Applejack’s eye twitched, “but we do this kind of stuff all the time. We’re used to going it as a small group.”
Bouncing up behind Applejack, Pinkie chirped, “Like a Fellowship!”
Wearing a sickly-sweet smile, Maatsheptra’s serpentine eyes glimmered. “There is no debate here, Lady Apple. You may attempt to cross my empire alone, if you so wish, but my army will crush the griffon strongholds once and for all. With or without you, my army will march, and I will be the one to bring about my subjects’ salvation.”
“Then, we’ll just have to get there first,” Applejack countered, pushing her hat forward for emphasis.
Fleur had a sinking feeling in her gut. A deep, turbid sensation of impending doom.
Wait... Twilight was half-dead? Or not complete? Is this something to do with Astrea? I don't remember anything happening previously that would have rendered Twilight into such a state, unless it's yet to be expressed...
Definitely a different take from the first run, but interesting. Hades gone crazy and somehow the other Alicorns aren't going to get involved? I wonder what the other forces are up too, the 'angels' and the demons seem to have some fingers in the pot too, though who the heck knows what the angels are doing.
I wonder if this is going to come in contact with the Rariad again? I expect that they'll need all 6 EoH to deal with 'whatever' and Rarity, being currently dead-ish, kind of makes that difficult, but I guess Twilight may have a way to get back, and bring her (and Trixie) with?
A part of me dislikes the confrontation between Hades and Twilight. I can't quite put my finger on what, but I think it's pretty much all to do with Hades. I get that being unreasonable is part of his character, because Greek God, Hubris, all that stuff. But it's more with the things he does. For inexplicable reason, he can compel an Alicorn, of the most powerful kind, to do what he wants just by saying it. Divine Command over another God. No explanation, no reason, no hints at it earlier. It happens "Just 'cause" it feels like.
And then he does something else that's basically sticking his hoof in Twilight's soul and rummaging around, without Twilight being able to do anything about it. Also "Just cause". I get that it was done to establish how powerful he is, but it really doesn't feel believable. He's a God of Death and of the Dead, and Twilight is an effectively immortal Goddess. That Death should so easily be able to affect her doesn't sit right.
There's some half-explanation of Twilight being "Half Dead", whatever that means, but that still doesn't explain why he has the same level of control, over her a goddess, as he does over a mortal. Is it because she was fostered? Did that halfway kill her? Does that somehow limit her divine strength? I don't know. The chapter doesn't make it clear. What makes matters worse is the prophecy that somehow makes it sound as if Twilight _could_ kill Hades the next time they meet. Judging by how he toyed with her like he toyed with any other mortal? That is stretching my suspension of disbelief past the breaking point, and falls right into "Ass-pulled Anime Power-up" territory.
...I know my words are harsh, and I apologise for any offense I may cause, but I just really did not like that non-confrontation. I felt it came out of nowhere, with very little build-up, and then no climax for said build-up. It just transitioned directly into Twilight panicking and fleeing, and then falling between Worlds. It's not nice to say, but I think that scene is the weakest in the story to date. None of it sits right. Not to me, at least, though others might disagree.
And again, I apologise for my harsh words. I hope, at least, that you can understand a bit of my thought process.
I have to agree with others. Hades wipes the floor with Twilight. Totally expected...The soul stuff? A bit out of consistency of the story... She maybe somehow weaker from being fostered... Feels a bit weird but fine. But another prophecy? That is repetitive... To be honest... Another one just makes the story suck for me. Of course that it is going to twist in some way... all prophecies do... but it kills all the momentum of the story for me.
What the hell was Luna doing? Since she gives a st about some worthless zebras. Why didn't she stop Twi and went to get Celestia and others... Then get Zeus to reason with his brother. While Hades and Twi are in character respective to their originals... Everyone else isn't. Especially what had been established from the side stories.
While this chapter advances the story.... from my perspective the momentum of the whole thing stopped when they arrived at the port... this started as a mystery adventure story... but that is not the case now...
Now Twi will go on her little adventure in wherever she ends up... so will the rest of the elements... the mystery is gone... they are going to meet up again and make up with Hades, the artemis-flutters situation is going to resolve... I was accrediting it to the rewrite... but when I can predict the story to some degree when it's unpredictability was the main thing going for it... the feeling of what is going to happen next is gone in this part of book two... and it makes me sad... it is like when the GoT tv series run out of book material... it went from great to generic fantasy series... maybe it is the update spacing... maybe it is me... but I feel while the everything else got better the pacing didn't (at least in this part of book two)... unless Twi did teleported to the world of the "Egyptians" of course... in that case I take it all back. But I feel like the story is missing a drive to keep me reading and looking forward to another chapter... and this another prophecy was the last nail in the coffin that killed my enthusiasm... I will keep on reading but... nostalgia says that the original (what ever-ish rewrite it was) was better.
Pinkie you need a horadric cube if you want that to work.
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This chapter had a lot of hurdles before it, and there are details left purposefully unfilled. My fervent hope and intention is that over the next couple chapters have those details revealed as Twilight learns them herself and goes about correcting the cause of why she couldn't stand up to Hades. I've been standing my ground a bit on this plot point during editing. It is some of the shakier ground I've been standing on, I admit. There have been issues with Twilight's arc and character development for a number of chapters now, with a growing dissatisfaction with my writing of her and a general sensation that I just wasn't skilled enough to do what I want with the story.
On the whole I think this chapter will work once the next chapter or two are published. I'm both crossing my fingers and working hard on them, but it has me very worried.
As for the anime comparisons, that is more than fair. I was in the later stages of a long stretch of reading various shonen and isekai manga, as well as watching several anime series. Aspects of how I wrote the confrontation and planned out the subsequent story was influenced as a by-product. It is a problem I've always had where I start ghost-writing what I read. Lately I've shifted to watching Midsomer Murders and reading books on ancient history. Not sure how or if that will effects things in the chapters I'm working on.
Thank you for the input. Every bit helps.
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It is very possible that my dissatisfaction comes from the fact, that that particular "thread" stops right then, and doesn't continue. It forces me to wonder and only go on what I currently know, rather than "Oh, I'll read some more and probably find the answers." That might be why that entire confrontation gives me such a negative feeling. That being said, I've liked the story from the first time I found it, and I still do, so I'm not gonna jump ship. There are parts I do like, such as Fleur's "Vision" (I find prophecies given in the past, to future people, amusing most of the time), and everything up until Twilight's departure, especially the conversation with the Thane. Until now they've seemed more like emotionless puppets, but here we see a personality, an individual... I find myself praising the things I like because I felt bad leaving a negative comment earlier. Bah.
But yes, there are undoubtedly pieces of the puzzle missing, and I think their meeting could have been done better. But ultimately, I'll wait and see. And if I'm still not satisfied, I'll let you know Truth be told, I'm actually happy you take critique so well. Not everyone would be so gracious about it.
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I'm not taking the comments all that well, actually. My hands start shaking, heart is thumping against my chest, and the bottom has dropped out of my stomach. Thoughts are both racing and going nowhere, and I keep forgetting what I was doing, or writing. Or, in other words, mild panic attacks. I'm doing a little better at this precise moment, but it could just be a lull in the storm. This is all just the visceral right now aspects. It'll be two or three days before the true, deeper set anxiety decides to club me over the head. That is neither here nor there, however. I know what you meant, that I am trying to listen to feedback and criticism.
Hilariously, I read a couple lines of AdaaaM's comment, started having a fresh panic attack, and decided that perhaps I should just take down the chapter for twenty or so minutes while I cut out the whole flashback-prophecy. It was put in as an anvil in the first place, and is a bit redundant with something written in the next chapter... Okay, a whole sequence in the next chapter set from Celestia's PoV. Just this morning I was getting ready to cut the part and instead combine the two sections of Twilight from chapters 17 and 18 into a single chapter 17.
I need to calm down a bit more, actually think things over, and figure out what is best for the story. This could be leaving it as it is right now, or doing some emergency re-writes.
To everyone who has read this comment and is now worried about giving any fresh criticism, please, don't worry. It might take me some time to go through and read the comments, much less reply, but I do try to read and think on every comment made.
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Well, I'm sorry that my comment has had such an effect on you I know the feeling you're talking about. Experienced it myself, but in wildly different circumstances.
But if it at all helps, I think the best thing to do will be to leave as it is, and trust in yourself that what you have planned for the next few chapters will adequately explain what has happened in this chapter, in such a way that we no longer have a reason to be grouchy old men
9144548
Oh! This is nothing new! Comments have always had this effect. It's just part of my anxiety disorder. I'm generally much better handling it, but there has been a large dose of confirmation bias with this chapter and its comments that I'm just a no-good, hack of a writer. Fluttershy has always been the character I identify with most from the show for good reason. Positive comments just lead to a giddy after-effect is about the only difference. I think I've mentioned all this before some time ago.
It is alright and don't feel bad.
Man, I am drawing a blank on why Twilight would be half dead. I had a line of thought concerning where the Alicorn soul came from, that Iridia plucked from the lifestream in order to have Twilight, but it definitely can't have been the Gaian goddess of the stars', because she is, or was, on Ioka as a vengeful shade. Though that did make it occur to me that all Alicorns born on Ioka have been reincarnated from Alicorns from other worlds, by Iridia. Is her ability to do that unique?
[Edit] Reading some other comments, I feel I also need to voice that I thought it very well implied that Hades was able to command Twilight because she was somehow partially dead or something similar to dead, placing her within his domain, that being dominion over the dead. It wasn't even subtle, he all but said it. The mystery of why or how is the part that I don't understand, but that was obviously an intentional mystery that we even immediately got a hint for, with Twilight vaguely remembering protecting something while falling through the void between worlds. I liked the whole thing.
[Edit 2] OH ALSO, was the flashback with Authea acknowledging and speaking to flashback-ing Fleur through Athena inspired by Fallout: Equestria? Pretty much the exact same thing happens with Little Pip and the long-dead Pinkie Pie in that story.
9144675
Astrea' soul was split when she used the spell to bring the fillies to equestrian, one half arrived 20years earlier to create the bridge for e other half, the shades, and the fillies to cross into esuis. The part hat came with the fillies became a shade and was destroyed protecting one of the fillies
twilight is trying to beat hades and if she does she will release all the demons of tartarus. Even if she wins she loses.
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It was mentioned in a previous chapter that Twilight was "full of dead stars". That was not a metaphor. Twilight is the embodiment of the stars. All of the stars. Including the ones who fell and eventually died long before Twilight was ever born. From that point of view, she was always half dead, thus giving Hades the opening he needed.
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I am not certain anymore if it has been revealed the true nature of Twilight's conception. If I recall, the only information that has been given is Iridia saying that she first attempted to 'give' Twilight to Celestia, and when that wasn't a viable option, had Twilight herself. Later it was shown that during the Season Iridia is essentially high/drunk/intoxicated as she is lost in the flow of the Font and isn't fully aware of her actions, moving more on whim or fancy. This was in Velvet Sparkle and the Queen in Stone, and perhaps Sol's Rune.
At the moment I'd rather avoid laying out what is going on with Twilight and the nitty-gritty of how and why Hades held so much power over her and the meaning of him saying she is 'already dead'.
As for the Authea part, Fallout Equestria had no influence. I've never read FO:E, or the many spin-offs expect the one with Blackjack (iirc the characters name, it has been a few years). I only read several chapters of that story. Fallout: Equestria just doesn't grab my interest. I love Fallout the games, and FiM, but the combination just is off-putting.
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Yes, this, exactly.
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If that is true, it does give some more credence to Hades' actions. But I'm still not entirely sure. Tundara mentioned there would come answers in the following chapters, so I will wait and see until then. But thanks for pointing it out, I had forgotten that.
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Thank you for commenting. I came close to taking the chapter down temporarily to remove the prophecy within a flashback part. Might still do it, but I've been advised to think things over and wait to see more responses before doing anything as drastic as altering a published chapter.
I'm sorry that I've lost a bit of your interest. I'm not certain why you thought this was a fantasy mystery story. It was always more intended to be a sequence of adventures linked to Twilight and her becoming an alicorn. Shoot, originally it was going to be more like a series of short stories, with arcs last three or four chapters and focused on a single character. That was a long time ago before I'd written more than four or five chapters of the original, pre-rewrite Myths. Can't believe it's been several years now since I jotted down those plans...
Anyways, it's been my intention to have this be a Heroes Journey, or rather, several interwoven Heroes Journeys. More so since I did some studying on the subject. Some have worked (Fleur's is going well, I think). Some have not... (Gilda's has gone off a cliff). A few meandered a bit (Fluttershy comes to mind). Others came out of the blue (Sweetie, poor, poor Sweetie). And others are like wrestling greased bears to get to work (Twilight's journey).
Mind you, I didn't really know what I was DOING until I was into Book Two. The early days, Book One in particular, were very much just ideas I allowed to run with little more than general ideas where I wanted them to end up. This is even after starting the rewrite. A rewrite that was required as I gave the characters too much free reign and was quickly boxing myself in. The strands of the original version were unraveling FAST when I decided to reboot the entire story. So, it has been more a case of serendipity that things have worked out thus far, rather than skill or planing.
I don't know if there will be any surprises in store for you with what remains. There is only about 5 chapters left, plus the epilogue. We're actually nearing the end of Myths, and I'm trying to find and remember all the Checkov's guns I've left laying around to have them dealt with before the end. This story is lousy with unfired Checkov's guns... >.< I hope that you will find some aspects of what remains enjoyable.
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This is accurate as well. There are stars that have fallen and died. At this point in the story, there are only 3 fallen stars on the disc that are still alive. Algol, Sirius, and a super secret mystery star. Though, if it were only fallen stars that had died, Hades would have had only some power over her, not the near total displayed. More is going on then meets the eye. Dun dun dunnnn!
I think I'm getting loopy from being up too late...
I wonder what Zeus will say to Hades about this. It will probably be hypocritical since he would berate Hades for things he's done himself too. Authea is really a lot like Pinkie Pie and it's clear that Namyra/Soir is the only hope to prevent a fight and to stop Algol.
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I'm trying very hard not to just spill the beans now in the comments. Some comments had everything all written up and laid out, and then got deleted before posting. It's better to let things come out in the story. The next chapter has a large bulk of the explanations. I'm just concerned now that they wont satisfy.
9145217
Well, if the book two is the last book that explains a lot. You are not a terrible writer in an shape or form. As I said somewhere on your other stories your style of writing is one of the best on this site (especially world building) in my opinion. I was going with the notion that the conspiracy to make Gaean alicorns go to war agains Iokans was going to be some form of trying get the Quus free or something. But when there is no book three it makes sense to close up story-lines. But my previous criticisms still applies... Luna doing nothing is weird and the prophecy spoils to much of the upcoming story for the reader.
Even I don't know where I got the fantasy and mystery bit. Guess a lot changed including my standards and likes over the 4 years. While Myths don't have my adoration as they had a year ago I am still looking forward Rarity's adventure on Gaea (if you didn't move it to Tartarus).
I don't get why or how people are so upset over the 'mystery' of Hades being able to control Twilight. It's really quite obvious that he would be able to do so when you consider that Twilight is herself in a recycled position as the second deity of the Stars of Ioka, and quite likely is the recycled soul of the original one.
That second part is the key to why Twilight is so easily overwhelmed by Hades, because part of her soul is held captive in the filly from Prance whose name I cannot remember. She is incomplete in a way that has nothing to do with being fostered because a portion of the soul she was recycled from, Iridia's ORIGINAL daughter who was killed howevermany-thousand years ago, is not in her body, and is in fact in the body of a mortal filly. Her soul has not only died before, it's been split!
Above and beyond that, how many stars have fallen? Twilight IS the stars and the stars ARE her, so if a sufficient number of them have fallen then there's wiggle room there to argue that any fallen stars who have died have weakened Twilight's soul due to the loss of part of it each time. Good job, Luna.
If any of this hits too close to spoiler territory, Thundara, feel free to delete it. The story is still quite engaging and enjoyable even if I am able to guess at the planned progression and the reasons behind a few simple people being confused.
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I'm pretty sure Idria's first daughter was the proto-goddess of dreams, not Stars. Astrea was a god of stars in the other realm, and apparently through the comments from the author, had actually crossed over in two parts, one twenty odd years ago, and the rest of her when she brought the other shades and filly alicorns over.
Clearly there's some sort of connection between that and Twilight's existence, having only 'half' an essence from birth, as there's a temporal schism and the other half eventually went poof? I can see that, and her going and recovering half of herself makes sense, but it's kind of left field, especially considering that it was previously established that there can be multiple alicorns of the same 'field' from different planes. I guess it was just assumed that Twilight was natural born.
This does bring into question Agol's role and purpose... she's clearly not a good pony, but maybe she's actually attempting to make Twilight whole? This step is required in some form, and even killing off her 'sisters' was part of the plan? Though she could just as well be operating for whatever other force exists that seems to be pulling strings from behind the scene. I somewhat doubt it's the Quus if there's only a few chapters left.
Must've been something she had for lunch.
So what about Dash and Applejack being pregnant? Is it just not progressed enough to start interfering with dangerous missions yet, or did I miss something?
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I know that feeling of wanting to just spill, but I advise against it Nothing for us readers to look forward to then.
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Until about... gosh, must be two years or so now... There were tentative plans for a 3rd book that had the eventual release of the Quus as the finale. Two problems existed, however.
The first was that by the time of a theoretical Book 3 all the main characters have gone through their arcs. They've either become Big Darn Heroes, died, dealt with their inner demons, and so on. This is fixed by having the third book centered on the younger generation that would come afterwards. Tyr, Shyara, Talona, the Muses, Ambrosia, Zephyr, and so-on. But, that is a lot of OCs, and their parents would be relegated to back-ground status, or otherwise stuck in stone. Because it was so far off I didn't spend more than a few moments thought on the problem.
The second problem became that I want to remove the copy-righted materiel and see about turning the various Myths stories and setting into something I can publish properly. I've already settled on the Queen in Stone becoming the 1st book in this re-revamped Myths and Birthrights. Given I'd only laid a few story hooks here and there, I decided that it was better for Myths to end with Book 2.
About Luna, and even Fluttershy to an extent; I needed a way to keep them from being involved in the initial encounter between Twi and Hades. Having her 'stuck' maintaining the barrier around the zebra city served here. Neither can go after Twilight because if they did than the thanes would be able to take the souls of the fillies in Zerubaba.
The prophecy is an anvil, no two ways about it. Some readers need anvils (hilariously, I am one such type of reader). Because I've gotten a bit 'dark' and 'grim' of late, I wanted to remind readers that there was light at the end of the tunnel. It's almost certainly too much, and is going to be made a bit redundant in some of the information in regards to the other alicorns not being involved in the big finale fight. It is more this latter reason that I'm still toying with just cutting the part. But, damage is done now even if I did go back and remove the vision Fleur has of Authea.
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I think you are confusing Astraea and Namyra. Twilight is Astraea reborn, Soir is Namyra. Otherwise, rather accurate.
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It is that a little bit, but also, AJ and Rainbow are both the stubborn, won't leave their friends behind that they wouldn't let a 'little thing' like being a few months preggers get in the way.
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To be fair, there were only the 2~3 comments at the time I had loaded the chapter onto my tablet, and quite a few hours had passed before I had access to wi-fi again.
9145921 Ah. I blame my mistakes upon the fact that it was about 7am locally at the time I wrote my comment and I was rushing so I could get into the shower before work after reading this chapter and the first few comments.
That and I simply could not recall the names involved other than Twilight, which could have helped me remember the proper domains for each one.
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Oh of course, I wouldn't expect you to reveal that sort of thing, haha! It was more just me postulating. I had this outlandish idea that maybe Twilight is Hades' deceased wife reincarnated, but Hades' wife (I forget her name) wasn't a night goddess I don't think, and there's so many other reasons that almost certainly isn't the case. It'd be a crazy twist, though. Oooh, maybe the shade that tried to possess Twilight early on left some of itself in Twilight when Luna (I think it was Luna) fended it off! That's definitely a dead thing. And that shade came through to Ioka with the Gaian fillies, didn't it? Which would explain Twilight's half-remembered need to protect a group of somethings, and why the 'memory' was triggered by being in the space between worlds... Hm. I won't be surprised if this is completely wrong, but I might should spoiler this anyways. Again though, I'm not actually wanting confirmation one way or the other on anything, I'm just postulating for fun, lol.
I don't blame you for not being much interested in FO:E, I don't usually like grimdark in my pony stories either. Remember how I reacted to the CMC's situation as griffon slaves? Which is why I couldn't get past the first handful of chapters of the one with Blackjack, that one is just way overboard on the mindless, gratuitous grimdark. The original one had messages of hope spread throughout it, it was a story of someone trying to make a the world better, and eventually succeeding by sheer force of stubbornness. Still lots of grimdark stuff, though; it is a Fallout setting.
Yay for the fellowship! Finally some Rainbow and Pinkie and Applejack action. While I hope their trip to Mordor is not so actionless that they are just mentioned once a chapter to remind us that they are still walking, I also hope they don't get distracted too much by sidequests.
I feel that while it's clear Twilight is having some sort of arc, it's completely confusing what that arc is. She definitely has progressively had more confidence in her divine power, but the steps seem strange.
I thought the island showdown was about her learning to take a more detached, leader/inspiration/guide role in the mortal world, but then there's the hints of how much she can do once learning the more exotic magic she now can access (the amulet, mentions of runes), and now we see her suddenly be very direct and action-oriented (though the mist saving the ship felt more in line with previous patterns). It makes sense that she is personally involved when the issue is another Alicorn, but it still seems like the start of an arc rather than connected to her journey so far, what with her having the initial defeat to come back from and all the new questions raised about how she was helpless.
I'm ambivalent about the prophecy; it's like a movie trailer that shows a bit too much; it's cool in the moment and likely doesn't ruin anything, but it's hard to know what the cost in future surprise really is. Personally I think it could have been a lot vaguer or maybe omitted, but isn't a deal breaker or necessarily needing removal.
Overall as long as we eventually get explanations and Twilight being awesome on her journey/comeback towards whatever it is I'd be happy.
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The haphazard nature of her arc has been a byproduct of me having a tenuous grasp, at best, of how to handle her development. Especially where Twilight's arc intersected with other characters and their motivations/goals. I'll probably do a break-down after Myths is finished and try to explain my intents, hopes, and where I feel I went wrong or could have done better.
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Thank you for the corrections. I am clearly terrible with the use of "its".
Are we ever going to get an archive of the pre-rewrite story, out of curiosity? I remember being quite fond of it.
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I recently got the archive working again, actually.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/159527/myths-and-birthrights-the-archive
Password: password
I did notice that deviation early on.