Have you ever asked yourself, "What would it be like if your life was in some ways like a video game?" I didn't, and it's a lot more complicated than to press a button to win
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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The last part is confused with “and my stats will indeed touch the stars”.
10020139
I just one upped a german saying that basicaly means that something reaches the ceiling because it is so high. Or the saying to reach the stars.
When will the next chapter be out I wonder
10030636
Not sure. I wrote all chapters up to now during my holiday break, but I already have nearly 2k writen. The next few weeks should not be too hard so I doubt it will be too long until the next update.
Well, you were literally born yesterday... ;]
There’s a bit of confusion in your descriptions of what’s occurring. In some parts you describe actions as if the MC isn’t a prematurely-birthed foal, while in others you seem to describe him akin to Applejack when she was a foal in the show.
Well that’s a negligent mother right there. Never leave a baby alone like that.
Also, in regards to him being able to stand. Yes, horses can stand almost immediately after birth. There’s a problem though, his birth was premature, he shouldn’t be able to stand for a good bit.
I feel like this is a major flaw, as whether he wants to or not, he will get addicted. It’s also completely unnecessary.
This seems silly. Why give him the ability to Observe and say that it can give details on things based on the level difference, only to have it do nothing but be “captain obvious” until he uses it enough. As above, seems completely unnecessary.
That’s... dark, for MLP. Also a single nurse giving out medicine she shouldn’t be shouldn’t cause an entire hospital to shutdown, unless said hospital was in financial trouble or had a history of such things with multiple nurses/doctors doing it.
Also, “overdose” means taking so many drugs you poison yourself, and is generally fatal. So “overdoses” is incorrect here. Should be just “giving extra drugs” or similar.
Also this hospital should’ve closed way way waaaaay before the above described hospital. Malpractice is more severe than giving extra drugs to patients, as one can be attributed to the nurse/doctor in question while the other implies that multiple nurses/doctors are killing/losing foals, which looks bad on the hospital for hiring each one that causes a foal’s death.
The hospital smell is disinfectant, so it’s actually really, really bad that it smells like anything other than disinfectant, because it implies the hospital is not as sterile as it should be.
Again, the foal shouldn’t be alone at all. The hospital should even be asking where the foal was right now, and if she said home alone it should immediately be taken away. Babies can die easily if they’re left alone. They need supervision to ensure their safety!
I wonder if he will punch the doctor that was going to euthanize him when he becomes older.
Wisdom and star I believe was meant to be here. I am really appreciating the story.
10979581
Thanks for catching those errors. The first chapters are still bearing some little problems, but later ones should be clear of mistakes. I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far, as the adventure that is this story still lies ahead.
Lmao 😂
Usually I just write withing... Whatever that is. Within it should be.
That's really stats-touching!
Who's Horse?
Hm... There's 3 of them, indeed.
Perhaps... You should edit these long paragraphs, and I noticed some lines are just missing words