Have you ever asked yourself, "What would it be like if your life was in some ways like a video game?" I didn't, and it's a lot more complicated than to press a button to win
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I don't like that this might be the first comment you receive after spending a lot of time to write the chapter, hoping to be thanked for hard work... But. I'm sorry, but I been holding back a lot of complains about this all.
I get the feeling that this story has no direction not any idea for the future. It might not be true, but it's what I can feel there.
Regardless, it was boring and confusing. I struggle to connect past chapters to this one, since unknown amount of time has secretly but obviously passed and attitude of characters has changed severely. Last time I remember, Star didn't wish to even see Celestia.
Last chapters really feel like huge chunks of time had been lost somewhere.
Choosing the egg is very forced decision, with no real reason aside from the fact that we all know Spike is important character in this world. "It's unfair to give up on it if you think it's dead!... So I will choose it in the sudden and unexplainable bout of kindness I never shown before even if I might have a dead egg for a lifetime companion."
So far, this story is going nowhere really. There is an idea of a gamer-reincarnator with special powers fighting nightmares in a dream world shaped like video game dungeons, but implementation sucked from day one.
He never shown any intelligence or even attempted to plan anything before he pushed himself in the corner and got literally sold to princess for benefits. You made him a special boi, immediately surrounded by all the important characters in the world, immortal, and having a girlfriend from early childhood. Adopted by Celestia herself, but with a twist — that he is too powerful and needs to be controlled and shit, got edgy dark powers that come from negative emotions because obligatory "Royal life is too boring".
Complimentary *refuses to give up his humanity* struggle as well.
I read this chapter, and I just questioned myself: "Why did I start reading this? What attracted me to this fic? Why am I still here?"
Obviously, I just started to read a "gamer" fic. And I was intrigued by having secret identity of fighting big evil while pretending to be normal...
And that was all kinda not delivered at all.
It's just an huge misguided emotional mess, and story is not being very well connected either.
At least in the beginning that was at least some mystery, at least chapters were following reach other, instead of having unmentioned time-skip between each chapter.
I bet you planning to skip several years before next chapter too.
There is really nothing that attracts my attention to this fic anymore...
Main character is not likable, story has no events going on, gamer part it's more of an personal assistant, leveling is barely present in the story. Mystery of identity is ruined from day one, mc can't be killed, so I don't care what's happening to him. A lot of boring drama based on "one of three princesses is a controlling/evil bitch" cliche.
There is no story really, you just moving through the timeline until something interesting happens.
Good job on this chapter keep up the good work
I honestly don’t care keep going. Some may not like the way you write, but I like the story and I’m excited every time you put out a new chapter. (If this isn’t your type of story then you shouldn’t be reading it in the first place.)
Hey I'm loving this. Ignore that one guy.
As one "nothing" to another, I believe their bond will be strong. I am curious to see what the future will hold if this egg is the one supposed to be hatched by Twilight. I wonder how much would change, and if Twilight would be able to complete her "fate" without the egg.
So much to ponder, so much information unsaid about the future...
It certainly gets me thinking.
11073781
Yes, to me the plot with Celestia seemed to be rather wasted potential as far as their relationship goes. I was looking forward towards the possible consequences to there relationship in the coming years
The whole pet thing also seems pulled from thin air as well. Overall I was extremely disappointed with this chapter myself.
Glad to see an update, take your time your chapters are always enjoyable.
Cough cough stealing idea-cough
Or, I would if I weren't soon going to cancel my story. I can see that ship sinking a mile away.
11073781
Thinking back, I'll have to agree with you on the part where it feels like the direction this is going is a bit... lost. The last few chapters have, for all intense and purposes been a slice of life. And as you pointed out, the Celestia plot hasn't been taken into the future chapter(I never even noticed). Essentially making it a chapter that, while very enjoyable, is skippable without missing anything so far.
Anyways, I won't go over all of the points you made, I already agree with some and disagree with others. But I don't really feel like getting into a debate at the moment.
While understandable that you don't really want to comment with this right after the chapter release, I feel that perhaps the way you deliver your critics could be more... objective or at least gentler in delivery if you're coming from the "I feel/I believe/Think" perspective. And perhaps in smaller bite-sized pieces. When everything is bundled up together, it overall feels more negative.
Overall, it makes sense, but it feels like a bit too much all at once.
11074168
People can give feedback to the stories they read. I don't know why you are mad at them for having a valid point.
Increíble capitulo amigo, espero que el dragón no sea Spike porque sino estaré un poco decepcionado