Have you ever asked yourself, "What would it be like if your life was in some ways like a video game?" I didn't, and it's a lot more complicated than to press a button to win
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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My brain deadass thought the next chapter was going to release on April 9th, 2021
10960125
I'm not going to lie, but I chuckled for a whole 20 seconds while reading your comment. Oh the differences in time.
Great chapter, though, as you noted towards the end, Star does come off as a tad too poetic and edgy at times. It's mostly because of all the figurative language you're using instead of saying things plainly. If you eased up on it a bit, it'd be a definite improvement.
I'm also curious where Sunset has gone now after the fight with Celestia. If canon is anything to go by, this is definitely the moment where she'd flee through the mirror.
10960162
To be honest, I'm not quite sure myself to be honest, I have several idea regarding Sunset, but nothing concrete just yet, but I am interested in going down a different route than EG.
As for the poetic part, that was the goodbye to it. Poetic stuff from now on should only be used to describe feelings or sensation the normal human can't, like absorbing Aether, regenerating limbs in short time or even the presence of nightmares, instead of the summer ambience of canterlot.
Wow the characters learning dark magic. pretty soon he's going to turn into shadow and mind control. Or more other stuff.
10960125
Makes me think twice about those autor's notes
Part 2 will be released on 04/09/2021
Part 3 will be released on 07/09/2021
But it is already passed April 9th and July 9th
10960523
Oh, sorry, I go by the European time. Day, month, year. I didn't mix up the year or anything.
Tbh, I’d be in the same place Star is at right now we’re that to happen to me. Maybe not quite a hunger strike, more like a just bring my food to me.
Also poor Raven, but I suspect corruption had already began taking root when Celestia and Star had that, “disagreement” as it was said. Oh this just keeps getting better and better.
A shame that this chapter wasn't longer. I want this Celestia to pay in the worst possible way since she apparently learned nothing from her past mistakes. Is it also wrong that I really wanted to see a shipping with Sunset as well?
... What a fucking idiot.
Scaring innocents half to death and ignoring possible consequences of going insane and maliciously mutating because he didn't want to face discomfort?
Although I understand why he feels awful with Celestia keeping him glorified prisoner, but he is grown ass man, yet still can't learn some goddamn self-control when it really matters. He keeps making retarded decisions too. He had many chances to steer his life in other directions before as well, but apparently, without the Game, there is really nothing interesting or impressive about him. Perhaps, some things even worse then normal.
10964526
Well, to be honest, it is stated in the first chapter that he is as average and pathetic as it get, and bitter too. This story is his redemption in a way, to become a better person.
The prologue displayed that he had just about nothing in his life and is constantly running on his last drops of fuel with too little food, no money, friends, hobbies or anything going on in his life, even lacking social interactions outside of job, because he lack time. He only had his sister, and never bothered to care about anything or anyone else for 20 years.
The first arc (the chapter that is in the name, not the singular parts I release) was there to break this crusted shell that surrounded him, all the bitterness that has accumulated, while pushing him into the cold water.
The second arc served to warm him up about the mechanics of the game, and the new world he suddenly was in. Still, at that point there was no real appeal to him towards Equus.
This arc, the third, is supposed to be his breaking point, where John makes the biggest divination from his old self and starts to care, and seem everyone more than just resource or obstacle. Although this does only really start to sink in on the last part of the arc, and is present from there on.
The Fourth arc will then advance his character from there, strengthening ties and delving deeper into capabilities of the host of the Game. This one is where I plan to push his personality further, everything before the faith arc is nothing more than introduction.
While it was my in intention to make John appear emotionally overloaded, may I say, burned out, I hoped that he would've appeared rather dull, instead of dumb. But all I can promise that he does become a less dumb person going from here on now.
Socked instead of socket?
Man, i was not expecting 4 chapters to show up out of nowhere. Im exited though, and this first one seems to be starting off on the right track..
Though i found it a bit hard to follow the situation, maybe my minds just a bit cloudy.