• Member Since 19th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen May 11th, 2015

GorisTheDeathclaw


Yep.

Comments ( 63 )

Ooh, a new story by Goris, I wonder what goes wrong...
*reads*
Oh dear...

Goris, I swear I see at least two of your stories on this page every day :scootangel:

halarious
:rainbowlaugh:

Ehhh...our hero had worse if you ask me :trollestia:

Well, that was... interesting

Goris... Ew. Just Ew.

But the hero does have a problem. He chronically screws things up. After so much misadventure, one would think he would stay away from razors, syringes, dildos, massages, unlabeled potions, dark sheds...and many other things.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned to read the description, before the story. It will help me avoid permanent mental scarring.
chzbronies.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-lol-no.gif

Your Faithful Student,
Onyxjew944

Ow, my penis :raritydespair:

1093706 True, he could've ended up cutting his balls off. That has to count as something.

"Panic sets in." :rainbowlaugh:
Theme song of this guy's life.

Should have called this "There's Something About Luna."

BTW, is it really the same pony in each story? Everyone seems to be acting that way, but man, that's harsh. I feel better thinking it's just a whole bunch of unlucky stallions.

1093793 If you ask me it's the same guy. Makes it moar appropriate:eeyup:

1093720 And from Alicorn goddesses (Celestia fic)

1093706
That depends how painfully embarrassing the ensuing therapy class was. :trollestia:

1093793
Yeah, it's the same guy each time. He's pretty unlucky. :derpytongue2:

...my balls hurt...

Ooooooo now write one where his past psychological trauma causes his relationship troubles

New story by Goris. Fuck yeahhhh.

needed to play off the celestia one :D

but still good

Damn it Deathclaw! Does Doom have to put you in the blender before you let the hero get some?

i tihnk you need to do a minuette/colgate one next. If not i may just have a first clopfic...

simply put do it before i get motivation.

Oh a 2nd person story, with LUNA!!! MUST READ NOW!!! Luna's my favorite pony in the show, and that pic of her used as cover art: BEAUTIFUL.

>Tomb Raider music
>Yep, you accidentally cut your ballsack open with a razorblade.

i.imgur.com/eBC2n.gif

Oh Goris, when will you ever catch a break?
When will you ever get to bed a pony other than your mother successfully?
*sigh* :ajsleepy:

:rainbowlaugh: Oh my god, I can't stop laughing. This is hilarious. I mean, I feel sorry for the guy with the balls and the therapy, but that it amazing. He completely missed the opportunity of a life time: to have sex with Luna. Dude, this is a great story. Like, Favorite, 5 Moustaches. Good Job!:ajsmug:
:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

From hell, to you, and back again,
Soto Konoha

1093784 To be honest, if he did a Derpy fic, it would probably end with absolutely everything going right instead of wrong, and that in and of itself would be unexpected.

I'm gonna speak my mind on this one. I did not see that coming :trixieshiftright:

1094426 That, or she would fuck up.

You know you could actually write a serious, non-clop story if you write like you did at the begining.

God gorris i love your stories with all of my passion keep writing!

Somepony plz give this guy a "Potion of luck", or just kill him! The poor guy suffering too much, i feel really bad for him:applecry:
*But story is still cool!

Hm, a few of the worst past incedents: Super Glued to Trixie, Drinking rabbit semen, fucked Big Mac, screwed his mom, getting a dildo wayyyy down on his ass, now this...:trollestia:

once again youve hurt my dick in a mental way so much it feels physical :(

1093854
considering as how yo write... would like to see you write ACTUAL clop...

Goris, this story, just made you my favorite brony writer. Love every one of your stories.

Wait. Same guy? Didn't Luna learn the lesson from the "arm" incident?

me, staring at the {insert a celestial body here} "oh, if only I could be so GROSSLY INCANDESCENT"
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ly12lxBy7o1qgh0g5o1_1280.jpg

BTW dude that was NOT how I expected this to end.... I thought he was going to get banished to the moon.

...Oh, I get it now. This isn't just a parody, but a meta parody. You aren't making fun of shipfics themselves, you're just putting them into more realistic and less pornographic situations (Albeit with a character that has a -10 Luck stat.). All of these could and probably have happened to someone before.

I still fuck her balls ripped or not I go balls deep

I keep expecting a happy ending from our hero but i never seem to get it:facehoof:

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