GorisTheDeathclaw
Joined 19th Jul, 2012 ·
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I'm calling transsexual Cheerilee. Because goris is like that.
[img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png[/img
Could've prevented all of that by carrying one around at all time, just in case :P
Hahaha, looks like Pokey's special talent is poking holes in other ponies' egos. Don't be too sad, Nameless Pony, at least you didn't get teleported into a pit of quicksand.
Well. Our hero didn't get mangled today. Kind of a normal fic, considering the dozen that preceded.
Our hero finally retiring from cataclysm lane?
1145067 wrong.
1145127
He has lost his touch... 
So, he took the condoms. Even the small ones...?
1145143
That's exactly what I was thinking. I'm assuming he had a plan for the mane six and he's just makiing these ones up as he goes along.
...Could've gone worse.
Could've gone oh-so much worse.
I'll be honest, I'm looking forward to a story where Anon-pony gets sick of it and just snaps.
...Of course, knowing Anon-pony, he'd just embarrass himself before dying in an almost pitiful way.
.....THOSE BITCHES!
this one was funny but it made me feel bad for the guy....sheesh
1145156 For some reason, when I read that I instantly thought of Rarity sewing the main characters arsehole shut. Goris, you have corrupted me.
1145073
I'm guessing it would have somehow fallen out of his saddlebags, and then he'd have to spend hours explaining to the police why he was carrying a condom into a building full of little girls.
1145115
Well, he can't destroy all the friendship reports/wreck a changeling hive/lose the lottery/almost rape a nurse then break his leg every day, or his life would be a rapid succession of insane events. Instead, it's more of a succession of insane/depressing events.
1145153
Presumably just to show them to Cheerilee and be all "HEEEY LOOK WHAT HE BOUGHT LOL"
1145156
Never had a plan!
1145165
He'll snap one day. It will be glorious.
1145182
See a Goris story,
Oh god
. . . but how did he get back from the desert?
1145219
He could say it was for safety
....Never..try..with..a..teacher...
1145182
I can laugh at Anon-pony getting horribly mauled. I can laugh at him get horribly embarrassed!
But... this?
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6fi3hhKYa1r45k02o1_500.gif
1145271 There is an image of exactly that somewhere on the Internet. Be thankful I cannot find it.
1145234
A really weird series of events involving a pterodactyl, some empathetic dolphins, an interdimensional portal and a surfboard. All that matters is that he somehow returned to Ponyville.
1145271
1145297
I hope you both realize you're giving me ideas here.
1145360 Hmm, maybe bringing Big Mac into it as well! Cross-dressing Big Mac! Bringing out the big guns, so to speak
That would definitely require a good stitching. Either that, or having your anus expanded. 
I spat my food out upon seeing this. You and your crazy 2nd persons, I swear.
i.imgur.com/3rFhy.jpg
Are all of these stories linked (will there be a final horrible culmination for our intrepid protagonist) or are all of these indavidual one shots i only ask because you seem refrence your stories ocasionally
1145360
There is a line, Goris.
A line that must be drawn here. I-
...Oh fuck it, you're going to write it anyway.
So here's a picture of Rarity.
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw7639_small.jpg
1145416 The only limes that must be drawn are to be green, like Applejacks eyes.
this... is just too much for me.... ill just get a clopplable cheerilee clop >.>
"Cheerilee, lying on the teacher’s desk in a dominatrix outfit, gives you an apologetic smile. “Sorry, but you were taking ages with the shopping, and he just kind of walked in and offered to-“
She doesn’t get to finish as Pokey slams the door shut."
It is at this point I would walk in there an blow his fucking head off.
Then I would leave.
1145452
scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw2169_small.jpg
Because I would've done the same.
Poor bloke. One of these days, he's going to go on a murderous rampage through Ponyville.
His gun will jam on the first shot, and the machete will break when he misses swinging it at his first victim.
1145377
Cross dressing Big Mac? Hmm...
1145395
I SHALL MAKE MORE
1145410
They're all linked in that it's the same guy every time, but there's no continuous story between each fic. Although it would be fun to have a conclusion.
1145416
Don't worry, it might never be a reality - mainly because I can't think of a scenario where anus-stitching is more funny than agonizingly painful.
1145452
But he's lovable rascal Pokey Pierce!
He's kinda like Gary Oak. Only slightly more of a dick.
1145482
I'm trying to think of ways for the guy to have a full-on mental breakdown, and having a rampage where all his weapons break and he misses every attack is pretty much the funniest idea yet.
1145559
If you use that idea...
Copyright Wheller 2012.
DEAR SWEET CELESTIA...GORIS has a new fic
1145559come on you quote your self more than the bible there has to be some continuation
Ok tim for some serious murdering. Does anybody have pinkamina's number
well that just sucked. For him I mean.
There were moments that I couldn't bear and read through while almost bursting out in laughter. But the ending.
That just sucks.
wait wait wait... what the buck? I just randomly picked this fic to pass some time and now I'm actually emotionally disturbed that pokey.... what!? demand another chapter!
1145570
If I end up using the idea, I'll build a Wheller shrine in your honour and paste your picture all over the story.
1145594
I'm trying to avoid him encountering people he's already upset, so he's basically banned from 90% of Ponyville by now.
I guess there's continuation in the guy running out of mares to alienate.
1145608
That's how it usually ends for this guy.
1145629
The other chapter would just be the hero running away and throwing knives at pictures of Pokey while wearing a deer-hunter-style bandana.
I must say, this was infinitely more entertaining than I'd ever have expected...
1145478
the awesomeness hath been extended!:
I would casually open the window, climb inside, grab a pencil. Then while he is still occupied with teach, I would sneak up behind him, then jab the pencils through his eye sockets. After this I would grab him by the tongue, pull him to the hole-puncher, and poke 2 separate holes into his tongue. I would then proceed to stick each of the pencils through a hole, and shove a meter stick up his ass. For the grand finish, I would staple every piece of paper in the room to him, and throw him into a dragon's lair.
Then I would leave.
Fuck the bullies.
btw I actually feel that the character got off easy this time, or cherrilee would've shoved a meter stick up his ass or something. This is Goris we are talking about here people, and I'm suprised the main didn't get molested by the bull or some fucked up shit like that.
1145794
The main character got off light in terms of not being hideously injured, but I think he got hit pretty harshly in terms of "childhood-nemesis-stealing-his-potential-girlfriend". Also the condom buying scene was excruciating to write since a similar thing happened to me once.
But you'd need some awesome ACTION MOVIE ONE-LINERS to go with your anti-Pokey rampage! Like saying "let me get right to the POINT" or "Sorry to be so BLUNT about this" or "keep an EYE out" while stabbing him in the eyes with the pencils.
Dont worry anon pony. At least you're immortal.
haha lol that was a pretty good one i totally didnt see that coming. well done gorris!
Damn it. I have to say that that one actually made me feel bad for him.
Damn man... these feels...
I think I would've actually preferred the guy getting his junk horribly mutilated for once...
Pokey Pierce revenge fic? Please? Pretty please?
1146160
Since everyone seems to really hate Pokey (personally I just think he's a Magnificent Bastard ), I'll say that this fic isn't the last we'll see of Pokey.
As for revenge... POKEY PIERCE WILL GET HIS COMEUPPANCE ONE DAY.
at least it wasnt a spiked vagina again...
my dick still hurts after reading that
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m94viwG1lF1qbpihmo2_1280.jpg
>>GorisTheDeathclaw Thanks for making me laugh on a bad day!
Could make another one where he scores but it has a twist at the end I personally think those are freaking hilarious
After all what happened to our nameless protagonist, I almost expected this to be the point where he hulks out and destroys Ponyville.
I mean after all that physical and mental trauma, you add his childhood bully returning to torment him?
Of course, since it is you who would be writing that story Goris, you would probably just give him radiation poisoning from the gamma rays overdose instead of (or maybe in addition to) turning him into the Hulk, wouldn't you?
After all, we've seen in the Berry Punch story, even if it goes right for the protagonist, it still goes wrong.
I'll be looking forward to Pokey getting his comeuppance.
1145814
aha 1 liners.