Learning Curves
“Miss Cheerilee!”
You must have almost fallen asleep there. The filly’s voice jolts you awake, though.
“Miss Cheerilee!”
You look at the source of the voice. It’s Applebloom.
“Yes, Applebloom?” Cheerilee replies.
“Can we pack up and get ready ta’ go yet?” Applebloom asks.
“There’s 5 minutes of the day left!” Cheerilee replies.
“Aw, come on Miss…” Applebloom whines.
Cheerilee sighs then smiles. “Okay, since it’s Friday I suppose you can all go home early.”
The whole class lets out a chorus of “Yaaay” before packing up their books.
“Hey, you!”
You turn to look at the filly. She was calling for you, it seemed.
“Hi, I’m Sweetie Belle.”
You stare at her for a moment. “Uh, hey, Sweetie Belle,” you say.
“What are you doing here? You’ve been sat in the corner half-asleep all day,” Sweetie asks.
“Oh, I’m here on work experience from University,” you answer.
“Haha!” a pink filly laughs. “So you couldn’t get any proper work experience placements?”
You recognise the filly as Diamond Tiara. You’ve seen her at a few upper-class gatherings with her father when Canterlot nobles have visited Ponyville.
“What’s wrong with working in a school?” you ask her. “It’s fine.”
She laughs. “Oh sure, it’s fine if you can’t find something PROPER to do.”
“Diamond!” Cheerilee says firmly. “Please, don’t mock him! He’s a member of staff while he’s here.”
“Sorry,” Diamond says as sarcastically as possible. As soon as Cheerilee leaves the room for a moment, Diamond continues: “yeah, sorry that you couldn’t get any proper work experience.”
You’ve just been verbally bitchslapped by a little schoolgirl! You’re not sure whether to be angry or congratulate her on a perfectly-executed burn against you.
The schoolbell finally rings and the colts and fillies leave the room.
Cheerilee smiles at you. “So, how did you find working in a school? Not that you did much work – you seemed to be asleep for most of the day.”
You’re worried that she’s angry that you basically did nothing all day. Thankfully, she bursts out laughing.
“Oh, don’t worry about it. I know this place is boring,” she says.
“Well, it’s okay, I guess. It’s… homely? I just don’t like it because I was never any good at school. It’s kind of a painful nostalgia trip being in a school building,” you tell her.
“Oh, I didn’t like school very much either,” Cheerilee admits.
“But… you’re a teacher!” you say.
“Hmm. I became a teacher so I could try to make school a little nicer for these kids,” Cheerilee says.
“Yeah, you seem to be doing a good job. I remember the teachers when I was at school, they’d just ignore me when the crowd of older kids surrounded me and started pushing me around,” you say.
“Oh my, you were bullied?” Cheerilee asks, sounding genuinely concerned.
“Oh, yeah, a bit, I guess. About as much as anyone,” you mutter. You decide not to bother launching into an epic monologue about how horrible school was for you and how every single person in your year (and a couple years above) was out to get you, and how PE was the worst time ever, and how that BASTARD Pokey Pierce used to throw rocks at you.
You growl out loud involuntarily. POKEY PIERCE. The bastard. Every single day when you were kids, he’d do everything in his power to make your life even more hideous than it already was.
Cheerilee brings you out of your revenge-crazed thought train with a cough. “Um, are you okay? You seemed to zone out for a second there.”
“Yeah,” you reply, “I’m fine.”
You should probably be getting home now, but for some reason you don’t want to leave Cheerilee.
“So, uh…” you start, searching your mind for an opening line. “It must be hard juggling being a teacher with everything else in your life.”
She sighs. “There isn’t an awful lot else in my life,” she says sadly.
“Oh come on, everyone’s got some stuff going on,” you say. “How about a coltfriend? Or a marefriend? Or even a husband or wife?”
“Oh, nothing like that,” Cheerilee says. “Not that I don’t want a coltfriend, but I don’t think I’m interesting or attractive enough for anyone to notice me.”
You spend a moment thinking over the words she just said. They didn’t make any sense to you. “What?” you say.
“Hm?” Cheerilee replies.
“How can you say you’re not interesting! You’re giving up nearly all your time for the kids in your class! That’s amazing! Ponyville wouldn’t even have a school if it wasn’t for you!” you say.
She smiles and blushes, staring at the floor to avoid eye contact with you. “No…” she says. You cut her off.
“And how can you say you’re not attractive? Of course you are! You’re the most beautiful mare I’ve ever seen!” you say.
Oh, god, did you really just say that? “Flirting with temporary employer” is gonna look shitty on your work experience report.
You decide the best course of action is to spout a frantic stream of apologies while backing out the door and then running all the way home.
You don’t get a chance to put this plan into action when Cheerilee jumps forward and kisses you.
You let out a cry of shock but it’s muffled by her lips. You immediately start reciprocating the kiss, wrapping your forelegs around Cheerilee.
She breaks the kiss and smiles at you with a somewhat lustful gaze in her bright emerald eyes.
You smile back and push her back gently onto the teachers desk.
You move your hoof down her stomach in circles, stroking her. You wrap your other foreleg around her again and start kissing her. She moans and slides her tongue into your mouth. You trail your hoof down a little further, brushing lightly against her moist vagina.
“Mm!” she mutters. She breaks the kiss.
Oh, great. Nice move, you stupid moron. You’ve fucked everything up AS USUAL and-
“We need condoms first,” she says.
Wow! You haven’t fucked everything up! You just need condoms!
“Here,” Cheerilee says, reaching into her desk. She takes out some money. “There’s a store just over there. Sorry, but you know, better safe than sorry…”
“It’s fine,” you assure her. You rush out the schoolhouse as fast as you can.
You enter the store. You spy the condom rack at the front. You walk towards it slowly.
You try to get a look at the cashier. Yep, of course it’s an attractive young female. And of course, she’s gonna silently judge you based on your condom choice.
You decide buying extra-extra-extra-large would be the coolest possible thing, but then it quite obviously won’t fit you when you return to Cheerilee.
You decide a middle ground might be useful. Perhaps medium?
No. You were a “Very Small” and you knew it. You look back at the cashier.
You can’t buy “Very Small” condoms! What should you do?!
You formulate an award-winning plan. Just buy some “Very Small” condoms and some “Extra-Large” ones! She’ll think you’re buying for 2 different people, and with any luck she’ll think you’re the “Extra-Large”!
You pat yourself on the back for a wonderful plan.
But what type of condom should you get?
“Ultra-Sensitive” or “Tickler”?
You sigh. This is a fucking nightmare. You just grab a box of “Very Small” and a box of “Extra-Large” and head for the cashier.
There’s a lot of people in the store… you hide the condoms as much as possible to avoid the judging eyes of the public.
“Hello, sir, how can I help you?” the cashier asks.
This is it! Death or glory!
You slam the boxes down on the counter, not saying a word.
The cashier scans both boxes of condoms through the barcode machine. You’ve done it! Success! You’ve managed to buy condoms with no social humiliation!
“Oh, this one isn’t scanning,” she mutters.
She speaks into the microphone, loud enough for everyone in the store to hear.
“Hey, we need a price check on “ultra sensitive Very Small condoms…”
Everyone in the store turns to look at you.
Well that was a completely horrible experience!
But you don’t give a shit as you skip back towards the schoolhouse. This was it! At last! You were gonna have sex with the most beautiful mare in Equest-
You freeze upon opening the door. There’s a stallion in there. He walks towards you.
“Oh, look who it is!” he says.
You stare at him for a moment before something clicks in your mind. It’s Pokey Pierce! It’s Pokey Pierce, the one who bullied you daily when you were kids! Your nemesis! The object of your revenge fantasies.
“Hey, it’s loser-boy!” he says. You stare at him silently. You can’t think of anything to say.
“Listen, loser-boy, there’s a REALLY smoking hot teacher in there who I’m about to screw, but I need condoms. Oh, hey! You’ve got some!” he snatches your condoms. “Thanks loser-boy! See ya around!”
Cheerilee, lying on the teacher’s desk in a dominatrix outfit, gives you an apologetic smile. “Sorry, but you were taking ages with the shopping, and he just kind of walked in and offered to-“
She doesn’t get to finish as Pokey slams the door shut.
…
What the…
How could…
Pokey?
And…
What…
You run to the school doors and scream out into the night.
“POKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!!!!”