NJP CB: Be You, Unless You Can Be A Unicorn
"Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn, then be a unicorn," Fleur de Lis batter her eyes seductively with the mountain of pillows behind her.
"Cut," said the New Foal Unicorn director.
Fleur de Lis was quickly brought a drink of water. What most people didn't realize is that even when filming went right, the editors demanding having the same shot done over and over and over from different angles.
She'd said the words 'Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn, then be a unicorn,' to where she wanted to puke, but still she soldiered on.
The phrase was plastered over posters, browser ads, spam mail, all to allure remaining humans to become unicorns.
There was of course no shortage of little girls demanding their parents have them become a unicorn... and the Earth they knew wouldn't be around long enough for them to wait for her to grow out of that phase.
Rarity had been meant to be the spokesmare for the campaign, but with the workaholic mare already pressing herself into overtime, something had to give. Fleur de Lis wondered how the Elements of Harmony didn't collaspe from exhaustion. Apparently one had once, but everypony seemed to pretend that never happened.
Fleur de Li knew what some ponies were saying about her, she was being a unicorn elitist, luring scared and confused humans to their tribe. The worst part, was that she was.
The potions for the three main pony tribes had been the first to be ready and go into mass production. The potions for the other tribes had been slower to get ready due to simply lack of resources. And then of course came griffins, dragons, zebra, diamond dogs, Abyssinians, deer, breezies, seaponies, merponies, hippogriffs, Yaks, changelings... So many kingdoms all demanding that humans be given the choice to become of their kind instead.
There was no shortage of humans wanting to become dragons... part of what a cap on the maximum number of converts had been made... no one wanted a billion dragons destroying the world over territory in 200 years when they became full grown adults.
There had been the expectation of humans who'd want to become griffins, but there was the surprising number of humans who had wanted to become Abyssinians! The system was tripping over itself to try and get the demanded amount.
And the Minotaur potion... had been a disaster, the less spoken of the better of the poor souls who had volunteered to use it.
And... this led to the black market. Black Hive changelings, Yetis, Sirens, Umbra, the tribes forbidden to have potions made for them due to being too dangerous (and since the dragon potion was a thing, this should say something!). Humans desperate to escape the end, even if the potion could only be taken once in a life time... And BECAUSE they were banned, they MUST HAVE BEEN the BEST thing to be, right?
And so Chrysalis, Adagio, and King Sombra (brought back from the dead by the love of his life) soon had new followers... The poor souls overwhelmed by parasitic instincts the only ones there to help them doing everything to ENCOURAGE those instincts!
The Yeti potion HAD been legal...until it was learned the Yetis were using their wealth to purchase modern weapons from Earth and scouting mercenaries to convert with promises of status within the tribe.
And that was where Fleur de Li came in... Where their new campaign slogan came in. The campaign would last until production of the other potions could get up to snuff, and there was no longer any need to relieve the pressure.
Fleur de Li had no fantasy that just because the campaign would end that the bad taste in ponies' mouthes would go away.
Fancy Pants wasn't stupid, he knew why Fleur de Li was doing this, he knew who she was doing this for... but he also knew he couldn't stop her. He'd be waiting for her.
Stats
Page generated in 0.023 seconds
Total duration
1,049 users online
1,604,489 hits today, 2,244,100 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
In any case, this is why I like the "best fit" aspect of some other takes on the potion. Giving people what they want is no guarantee of them getting what's best for them, especially when they're making hasty decisions as the end of the world approaches. Granted, making a potion that covers all of those options simultaneously would a tremendous undertaking. With not just ponies involved, certain considerations must be made.
10508181
I like to imagine that the world collided before Discord ever engaged in his insane scheme with the villains, and Celly gave up on her selfish scheme to retire due to the disaster facing their new neighbors. Sombra was never given any actual personality or motives in the show, so I went with his comic persona, here where Radiant Hope resurrects him instead of Discord, and she convinces him to not do anything stupid on his first day back from the dead (meaning the Tree of Harmony is still around).
I feel like the thestrals should try and use this slogan as well.
"Always be yourself, unless you can be batmare..."
10511602
That would actually be pretty funny.