Drabble Kaboom!

by Alex Warlorn

Kobolds in Equestria

In a universe where kobolds existed on Equus, one crawled up to Queen Tiamat.

"My goddess! After hundreds of thousands of years, we have finished the underground labyrinth that covered the entire planet meant to serve as a lair for you!"

Tiamat's heads thought, 'Uh! What?! Wait a minute! I gave them that job busy work! I haven't thought about that since before the dawn of pony civilization! Or that god of theirs, he is most definitely the runt of the litter of my many spawn over eternity.'

"That's excellent work! I know my wife is proud of you!" Bahamut said.

"Uh, yes! Now go forth and... server other dragons!" Her head said.

"Yes my goddess!"

"Bahamut asked, "Were those the guys you shouldn't feed after midnight?"

Tiamat's heads echoed, "We kept them busy for decades, we doubt they had time to eat meanwhile."

"I think those guys NEED to eat to survive."

"We could just eat them all right now to solve this awkward uncertainty."

"We had agreed that eating other people is not always the best solution."

"But it solves most problems!"

---

Later at the school of friendship.

Starlight said, "Twilight, we have to talk. I remember you said that because it was part of dragon culture we had to let Smolder bring her kobold servants to the school, but they've been -- disruptive."

Twilight asked, "Disruptive how?"

Starlight just Just pointed into a classroom.

Smolder laid back in the throne replacing her chair. Two kobolds rubbing her feet, another fanning her, and three more are bowing before her.

The kobolds declared, "Goddess! Command us!"

Twilight's eyes bulged, "What the -?!? SPIKE! I need you to talk to Smolder."

Spike, carried in on a litter by HIS kobolds said, "Sure thing, Twi. Uh, guys? Two of you go and tell Smolder to dial it back. A little."

Garble grumbled, "Why don't -I- get any servants?"

Smolder said, "You almost did, but when you caught them messing with your hoard -- by which I mean your autographed copy of Jack Kerouac's 'On The Road' -- you incinerated them."

Garble flamed. "NOBODY TOUCHES THE MASTER -- I mean, I have no idea what you're talking about, little sis."

Author's Note:

ItsFromPeople
Ardashir
Mtangalion

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

Oh, that's how most D&D worlds get insanely expansive cavern systems. It all makes sense now!

I imagine there's a fierce rivalry between kobolds and Diamond Dogs. That or the kobolds care only about the divine dig and the Dogs are happy to make use of the premade tunnels.

[Alex Warlorn]

9813894
HEH! Thank you great one for your comment!

[howard035]

Reminds me of this great story: The Kobold of Ponyville.