Celestia and Luna have made up and Starlight Glimmer's first friendship mission was a success! However, not everything has turned out okay. Despite her best efforts and Luna's reassuring, Princess Celestia was unable to defeat Daybreaker in Starlight's nightmare and Starlight's psyche was damaged as a result.
Twilight, who blames herself, works to undo the damage and in the process, her true feelings make themselves known.
This is based off Luna’s statement about Starlight’s nightmare potentially harming her psyche. No idea why I’m writing this since I really didn’t like seeing Starlight suffer like that, especially when she broke down crying. And yet despite that I’m using it as the cover image. …Welp.
Note: Out of character behavior.
Chapters (5)
How do I know this story won't die after only one chapter?
8454797
Don’t worry, I just want to see what people think of it before continuing. I already have a general idea of how this story will progress and I already have the ending In mind.
I love this story
8454818
Please continue! I loved it :D But seeing (or the other hand reading) Starlight like this made me really sad for her.
8455826
I know what you mean. The thing I didn’t like about the episode was seeing Starlight suffer from that level of stress, which I blame Twilight for, and I don’t watch it much because of that.
Note to self, write a fanfiction where the line "she comes to realize her true feelings for Starlight" means Twilight realizes she hates her guts. It'd be hilarious.
If my understanding of the Alternate Universe tag is correct, changing one event in canon and writing about the consequent developments is closer to alternate continuity than an actual alternate universe, so writing about Starlight dealing with her damaged psyche shouldn't require that Alternate Universe tag.
I also suggest reading the writing guide's part on said tags.
One thing I'd like to say about Celestia and Luna always being preceded by their title in the narration; it might make sense if Starlight is still intimidated by them but then the narration needs to be closer to an intimate point of view from Starlight rather than the omniscient spectator who knows both her and Twilight's inner feelings that it is at the moment.
Speaking of the narration, it comes off as more of a draft than a polished product in the sense that the description merely tells the reader what happens rather than showing it. An example would be writing something along the lines of;
instead of;
All that said, I like the idea of this story very much and I'm very interested in seeing Starlight try to mend her chipped psyche in the next chapters. Makes me want to watch some more episodes with her rather than binge-listen to my three favorite songs from the upcoming movie's soundtrack.
8456505
I really don’t have much experience in writing. I’m not trying to make something that comes off as professional anyway. To be honest though, I don’t think the part with the nightmare is that good. But it was never a priority for me, it’s just meant to be a quick thing meant to explain why Starlight is like this. As for Alt. U thing, well despite reading about each tag I still don’t completely understand when some of them should be used.
Bottom line: I just want to write something that people enjoy and that can be considered good. I think I’ve succeeded so far.
Also I’m probably gonna steal that one part you rewrote.
8456543
Yeah, I don't quite get when to use the Random tag either myself.
Your story is correct for a first fanfiction, especially if you don't have much experience in writing like you say, and the idea is pretty good. And I indeed enjoyed your story.
I suspect the difference in style between my lines and the rest of the story will clash quite a lot though.
Great start I really am looking foward to reading the next chapter I hope you will be able to update soon
A certain best friend of Starlight can comfort her.
8470052
Don’t worry, you’ll get to see another one of Starlight’s best friends in the next chapter.
Great story so far, please continue, I am looking forward to it ^.^
So Twilight pulled a Twilight again?
8488782
You know how she is.
The way Daybreaker seemed more interested in taunting Celestia than Starlight implies she's actually Celestia's fears.
8499180
Doesn’t change the fact that everything was happening inside of Starlight’s mind. Besides it’s not the form that was Starlight’s fear, it was the fight between her and Nightmare Moon. And it was the outcome of that fight that caused this whole thing. So I don’t see what point you’re trying to make, if any.
I loved it! Especially the ending.
8549148
Thanks.
8549467
You want to collaborate on a story with Starlight and Twilight? No diapers have to be involved!
8549516
What do you have in mind?
8549538
I don’t know, if you want diapers involved let me know. What if Twilight regrets the fact she released the pillars without thinking about the consequences and Starlight has to comfort Twilight.
What would you like to do?
Maybe we can bounce around ideas until we get one we both like.
8549816
That does sound interesting. May need to be fleshed out a bit.
As for the diaper thing, I’m not really sure.
8549964
Or Maybe a diaper one, where Starlight copes with her foalhood drama by being a foal. Trusting Twilight, Starlight tells her what is going on. Twilight treats her like a foal and begins to enjoy taking care of Starlight.
8550020
Sounds interesting. If we were to do that one then you should know that the farthest I’d be willing to go is wetting.
8550092
Me too actually!
8551305
What a coincidence.
8551336
So how would we split the work up?
8551564
No idea.
8551602
How about we do a roleplay and convert it into a story? Then we can responsible for converting our characters actions into story.
8551733
Works for me.
8551751
Where do you want to do it ?
8551934
Doesn’t really matter to me.
Love the story. I am a big fan of shipping Starlight with Twilight. The two are just really cute/adorable together. They're pretty much made for each other.
Heck, anytime they are in an episode together, they do something that really encourages a matchup between the two. 😊 Like, I think we have seen more hugs between these two then between any other two characters.
8711355
Glad you liked it.
I absolutely love this story. You really captured how the characters were feeling throughout the entire fic. There is no reason for you to give any warnings about this being your first story, it is among the best I've read on here.
8728228
Thanks.
Hi great story really enjoyed it I hope you will continue
Shippping
LOL pinkie and double shipping
9256305
The thing with Pinkie just popped into my head and I thought it was hilarious.
9256296
Yep.
It was a bit ham-fisted at times.
Felt really rushed at the end.
BUT
The idea was amazing. And I really liked the progression of the story. Just need details. lots and lots of details. For every story, you need to know the "brand of the beer, and the name of the dog". Just a little quote that helps me to add those little details.
9525926
I try not to rush things but if I do it’s likely because of inexperience. Honestly as long as the story turns out good and people like it then that’s all that matters to me.
Thank you for the Great Glim Glam Story. Fim fiction has a criminally low amount of Great Glimmer Fics. so thank you for the good read.^^
I like the idea of the story, even if I felt the presentation was a little lacklustre. Despite that, I enjoyed reading and cackled once or twice.
I mean, she completed her mission. That’s a win in my book.
Something tells me this will blow up in their faces.
Look at that, trixie was right about something.
10745319
Indeed.
What was the vision?