Broken Day
"Don't do this to each other!" Starlight screamed in despair as the two corrupted alicorns prepared to destroy each other.
"In order to defeat Daybreaker, you need only to trust in your strength as I do," Luna gave her sister a warm smile.
Daybreaker moved toward Nightmare Moon and the two alicorns fired beams of magic at each other. Before they could collide, Princess Celestia teleported between the beams and blocked them with her wings.
"You can't destroy me! I'm everything you want to be!" Daybreaker yelled at the interfering alicorn.
"No, you're not! You are not real, and you will never exist ag-aaaaaaahhhhhhhh!" Princess Celestia screamed as she was knocked into a wall by Daybreaker.
"Sister!" Luna exclaimed as she rushed over to Princess Celestia.
After dealing with Princess Celestia, Daybreaker returned her attention to Nightmare Moon and the two alicorns once again fired beams of magic at each other. The two beams collided creating an explosion that resulted in the destruction of the two evil alicorns.
"Nooooo!"
Starlight's scream echoed across the dreamscape just as its boundaries were shattered by the two sisters' death throes. Blinding light filled Starlight's vision as the shock stirred her from her nightmare.
Celestia found herself back in the waking world with a concerned Luna standing beside her.
"Sister, are you okay?" Luna asked.
"I'm fine. How is Starlight Glimmmer?"
Just then the two heard quiet sobbing coming from the bedroom. They entered the room to find Starlight crying into the pillow she had been using.
"I shouldn't have come on this mission. All I've done is mess everything up," She said between sobs.
"Starlight, what's wrong?" Celestia asked the weeping unicorn.
"I’m so sorry,” Starlight turned to Princess Celestia, tears streaming down her face. “I shouldn’t have cast that spell, it’s just messed everything up.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about,” Celestia said in a comforting voice. “Your spell allowed me and Luna to experience each other’s duties first hoof and it has helped us tremendously.”
“The map was wise to send you, Starlight. Nopony else would have been so bold as to do what you did,” Luna added.
“I’m sure the two of you would have worked things out just fine without me,” Starlight wiped away her tears as she sat up and gazed sadly at the floor.
The three of them remained silent for a moment before Luna spoke.
“It’s just as I feared. The nightmare has had negative effects on Starlight’s psyche. Fortunately it’s not as bad as I had expected.”
“I’m sorry, Luna. I failed to protect Starlight from her nightmare and now—“
“It isn’t your fault, you are not used to working in the dream realm. You did your best and that’s all I could ask of you.”
Princess Celestia smiled at her sister. She always knew what to say to make her feel better. “I love you, sister,” She said, pulling Luna into a hug.
“I love you too,” Luna replied as she returned the hug.
A faint glowing appeared and the princesses looked at their flanks as their cutie marks returned to their rightful owners. They then noticed that Starlight’s own cutie mark had begun to pulsate.
Princess Celestia smiled at Starlight. “It would appear that your mission is complete.”
Starlight turned her attention to her flank and sighed. “Yeah, looks that way,” A small smile appeared on her face. The fact that her mission wasn’t a failure cheered her up a bit.
A sudden flash of light caught everyone’s attention as Twilight Sparkle excitedly teleported into the room.
“Starlight, I know that you solved the friendship problem! I mean, I don't know everything. I just got here to bring you your toothbrush!” She teleported what was clearly Spike’s toothbrush in front of Starlight before turning to the princesses. “So this is just a friendly visit! Not interfering because I was worried! I wasn't!” - She pulled Starlight into a tight hug. - “I knew you could do it, and I'm so, so, so, so, so proud of you!” - She let go of Starlight. - “Tell me everything! Start from after I hyperventilated, and don't leave out any details!” Twilight pulled out a quill and scroll so she could write everything down and eagerly awaited Starlight’s response.
Starlight remained silent for several moments before speaking. “Listen, Twilight… I… um…” She struggled to put her thoughts into words.
Twilight was confused by her friend’s response. Starlight normally wouldn’t hesitate to tell Twilight about her new experiences in friendship so why wasn’t she saying anything now? Twilight looked into Starlight’s eyes and realized that they lacked the cheerful spark that was usually present. It was as if something inside of her had broken.
“Starlight, what’s wrong?” Twilight asked in a worried tone as she put away the quill and scroll. “Did something happen?”
Starlight sighed. “I’ll tell you everything later,” She got down off the bed “I’m going to get my stuff so we can head back to Ponyville,” With that she exited Celestia’s bedroom to get her things from the guest suite she had been staying in.
Twilight could tell that something was seriously wrong with Starlight so she turned to Celestia and Luna and asked, “What happened to her?”
“Twilight… Last night Starlight Glimmer suffered a terrible nightmare,” Celestia said, a saddened expression on her face.
“A nightmare?” Twilight asked.
“Yes, one that was no doubt stress induced,” Luna explained “Starlight was afraid of what would happen if Celestia and I continued to fight.”
“I tried to stop it but it was too powerful and it resulted in Starlight’s psyche being damaged,” Celestia further explained.
Twilight’s eyes went wide as she realized the severity of the situation.
A gentle smile then appeared on Celestia’s face. “Don’t worry, Twilight. As long as you and your friends are there to—“
The rest of Celestia’s words were lost on Twilight as her mind went through all the previous interactions she had had with Starlight the past couple of days. She remembered how Starlight appeared only slightly nervous when she first spoke to her in Canterlot and how her own fears and worries only added to it. It was then that she realized that she had unintentionally put more pressure on her every time they spoke. Finally, she went back to when Starlight was first called by the map and what Starlight had told her after she freaked out.
“I also wasn’t nervous before, but now…”
Twilight then came to a horrific conclusion.
“It’s all my fault,” She said in a voice that was little more than a whisper.
“What was that?” Celestia asked.
“It’s all my fault! I’m the one who caused this!”
“You can’t blame yourself for this, Twilight. This was Starlight’s first friendship problem, there’s no doubt that—“
“You don’t understand!” Twilight snapped. “Starlight was excited when the map called her, she wasn’t nervous until I opened my big mouth and started worrying!” - Tears began to form in her eyes - “I used a spell so I could talk to her during this mission, but I just ended up putting more pressure on her and made her more stressed out every time I talked to her! And now…” The fact that she had unintentionally hurt her best friend in such a serious way finally became too much for her and she fell onto her rear as she began crying, her face buried in her hooves.
Celestia put her wing around Twilight to comfort her. “We all make mistakes, Twilight. But dwelling on them does not make up for it, and it certainly isn’t going to help Starlight.”
Twilight looked up at the princesses, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Will she ever go back to being her normal self?” She asked, sniffling.
“It won’t be easy, but as long as you and your friends provide the support she needs, she will recover. But right now she is in a delicate state and it would be best not to overwhelm her,” Luna answered.
“I understand,” Twilight replied as she wiped the tears from her eyes. “I’m going to check on her before we head back to Ponyville,” After being informed of which room Starlight had been staying in she left.
Starlight gathered her things from her temporary room and put them in her saddlebags.
Although her mission was a success she couldn’t help but think about how things would’ve worked out better if she hadn’t used that spell. This wasn’t the first time she made a mistake with her magic but she knew it would be the last.
A knock on the door alerted her to the presence of somepony on the other side of it.
“Come in,” She said to whoever it was.
The door opened and Twilight Sparkle walked in.
“Hey, Starlight are you doing okay?”
“I guess.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“Oh, okay. Maybe later then.”
“Maybe,” Starlight put her saddlebags on. “We better get going so we can catch the train back to Ponyville,” She exited the room and started towards the castle’s entrance, Twilight walking beside her.
“Hey, when we get back I can show you that spell I used earlier like I said I would. How does that sound?” Twilight offered, hoping to improve Starlight’s mood.
“No thanks,” Starlight replied.
“But you’re always so eager to try out new spells.”
“Not anymore. I’m done using magic.”
Twilight stopped dead in her tracks, her mouth hanging wide open. That was the one thing she never thought she’d hear from Starlight.
“WHAT?!” She shouted, unable to believe what she had just heard. She caught up to Starlight and said, “But you love using magic. And you’re really good at it. Why would you want to—“
“Don’t you get it?!” Starlight snapped as she turned to face her best friend, “Whenever I use my magic I end up causing trouble for everypony! I removed the cutie marks of an entire village, used mind control magic on our friends, caused three ponies to be possessed by my anger, and almost caused Equestria to be destroyed multiple times! It’s better for me to give up using it entirely,” With that she continued towards the castle entrance leaving Twilight visibly stunned.
“Starlight…” Twilight whispered, having fully realized what kind of state her friend was in.
After Starlight’s outburst they continued out of the castle in silence and the two mares were only stopped once by Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Starlight didn’t pay any attention to what the three of them were saying but she was sure it was important. After Twilight finished her quick conversation with the princesses they continued to the train station where they boarded the train back to Ponyville.
Starlight stared out the window as the train left the station. She had decided that she would take some time for herself once they got home.
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How do I know this story won't die after only one chapter?
8454797
Don’t worry, I just want to see what people think of it before continuing. I already have a general idea of how this story will progress and I already have the ending In mind.
I love this story
8454818
Please continue! I loved it :D But seeing (or the other hand reading) Starlight like this made me really sad for her.
8455826
I know what you mean. The thing I didn’t like about the episode was seeing Starlight suffer from that level of stress, which I blame Twilight for, and I don’t watch it much because of that.
Note to self, write a fanfiction where the line "she comes to realize her true feelings for Starlight" means Twilight realizes she hates her guts. It'd be hilarious.
If my understanding of the Alternate Universe tag is correct, changing one event in canon and writing about the consequent developments is closer to alternate continuity than an actual alternate universe, so writing about Starlight dealing with her damaged psyche shouldn't require that Alternate Universe tag.
I also suggest reading the writing guide's part on said tags.
One thing I'd like to say about Celestia and Luna always being preceded by their title in the narration; it might make sense if Starlight is still intimidated by them but then the narration needs to be closer to an intimate point of view from Starlight rather than the omniscient spectator who knows both her and Twilight's inner feelings that it is at the moment.
Speaking of the narration, it comes off as more of a draft than a polished product in the sense that the description merely tells the reader what happens rather than showing it. An example would be writing something along the lines of;
instead of;
All that said, I like the idea of this story very much and I'm very interested in seeing Starlight try to mend her chipped psyche in the next chapters. Makes me want to watch some more episodes with her rather than binge-listen to my three favorite songs from the upcoming movie's soundtrack.
8456505
I really don’t have much experience in writing. I’m not trying to make something that comes off as professional anyway. To be honest though, I don’t think the part with the nightmare is that good. But it was never a priority for me, it’s just meant to be a quick thing meant to explain why Starlight is like this. As for Alt. U thing, well despite reading about each tag I still don’t completely understand when some of them should be used.
Bottom line: I just want to write something that people enjoy and that can be considered good. I think I’ve succeeded so far.
Also I’m probably gonna steal that one part you rewrote.
8456543
Yeah, I don't quite get when to use the Random tag either myself.
Your story is correct for a first fanfiction, especially if you don't have much experience in writing like you say, and the idea is pretty good. And I indeed enjoyed your story.
I suspect the difference in style between my lines and the rest of the story will clash quite a lot though.
Great start I really am looking foward to reading the next chapter I hope you will be able to update soon
A certain best friend of Starlight can comfort her.
8470052
Don’t worry, you’ll get to see another one of Starlight’s best friends in the next chapter.
I mean, she completed her mission. That’s a win in my book.
Poor Starlight!
Your profile name gives me reassurance about that already though I understand the need to clarify that.