- Member Since 31st Dec, 2015
- offline last seen 5 hours ago
Silver Malice
Creativity is always a leap of faith. You're faced with a blank page, blank easel, or an empty stage--Julia Cameron. Now let's see some PONIES!
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Pretty hot.
7023176 Thank you, I don't think it's too bad for my first ever...however, i know some writers who could have made it twenty times better...just means more to practice.
I liked it. Maybe there can be more chapters, focusing on different males in the town? An episode with Big Mac, for example, or maybe a couple comes in and the nurse and the other mare help get the stallion off?
Overall, I liked it. Stallion milking is one of my favorite fetishes, and this is one of few that I've found (of decent quality, that is) on this site. That said, this story could have used more detailed descriptions when it came to the actual milking portions, instead of simply stating that basically 'it happened'.
7090389 I am thinking of adding in more chapters and making them more detailed, this was the first time I ever even contemplated this kind of fetish, but i think i got a better handle on it for future additions. thanks for commenting.
7090652 I'm glad to hear you're working to improve your work, and that you take criticism well.
For the future chapters you mentioned, perhaps you could consider adding some more variety past just 'hoofing it', as that could be interesting. Perhaps some more...additional stimulation may be entitled for some of those having trouble reaching the finish line? Perhaps they could try some of those machines lining the wall that you mentioned, and see how those work?
Bah, but I'm just spitballing here. I look forward to seeing what you do with this story. Allons y, sur an adventure sexy!
7023496 You ask and you shall receive, just partnered up with LegionofPony to make this into a whole series, re-vamped and re-edited for perfection.
I like the new addition with more Soarin', cocky little bastard he is. :P
7094159 Basically he's the male rainbow dash, I just made him a bit more of a cocky jerk...something to break him of next time he's there.
As a brit nice cockney accent
7094268 Thank you, I did the accent mostly. Glad you approve!
7094082
7023496
Yep, hope all you ponies like this!
Is it me or are the last coupla chapters basically the same thing?
7109007 In terms of clop, yes they're similar. In terms of set-up, characters, or story-building, not at all.
7109007 Part of that comes from the fact, this originally was a one chapter story, but i got a good feedback from it and then LegionofPony and I got together and re-vamped an re-edited it, we added so much that it couldn't be one chapter, so we broke it into four, with different character developments and characters each new chapter. Basically the first four chapters take place on the same day, the rest of the series will be more diverse.
7109302 The latter half of this chapter is in italics. I submitted a fix for it on G-docs.
7109432 fixed it
Ya know... This stuff could explain why Mrs Cake had unicorn and pegasus 'twins', could be mr cake is infertile....... This sounds like something to spread on forums, so I'll be on my way.
............ Oh, and good story~
7111002 Legion and i thank you
Oh boy. This is going to be sick. Good story.
Lol
7117976 Glad you like it so far!
Love this fic
7127813 thank you, Legion and I appreciate it
7127813 Glad you like it!
wow way better than last time I read this, I'm glad there is more to read
can't wait to see what will happen next.
Impressive
Too bad Red Heart was't given the chance to "finish" when Fine Print was playing with her.
I can't wait to read what happens when a certain young intern shows up.
Bravo!
loved this chapter, love how Red was rewarded with the strongest orgasm she ever had and promise of future pleasure.
I wonder what awaits for our lovely nurse?
7142895 Well Silver is currently working on the next chapter's rough draft, but I haven't heard from him in a while, given he's busy with life. We'll get the next chapter out as soon as possible.
Anyhow, glad you like it!
Next chapter please.
More of that unicorn on red heart, okay?
7225522 I am writing the next three chapters simultaneously, and as soon as i have the drafts ready legion and I ( Though Legion is the biggest driving force, he's such a talented and visual writer and editor) will post them.
I've just been really busy with work, life, and I've been trying to improve my writing so i have been editing myself over what I've already written.. It should be ready in a week or so, hopefully I'll be on time, i like to try and meet deadlines but as they say La vie se passe (sorry my french is rusty)
7225567
I understand, thank you for not letting it die.
Have a nice day.
Man, glad to see this fic back. Really liked to read about Redheart's opinions of the stallions she helped and her coworkers.
This chapter was awesome. It was really sweet how Redheart went from pissed to happy and how Form went from nervous to comfortable as both found each other and spent their time hugging and expressing how they pleased themselves thinking of each other. Fine Print dolling herself up and the reaction of Redheart and Trenderheart was funny and I got to say that the clop scene between Red and Fine was hot, though I'm surprised Red was quite submissive when Fine decided to once again take the lead. Hope the next time those two get frisky Red becomes more dominant and gives some. The scene with the janitors cleaning the mess and then deciding to get it on with each other was hilarious. I'll be honest, the scene with Ghoul was unnerving due to how unusual the guy is compared to the other characters. Anyway, I loved the chapter. Hope the next one comes soon to see Form and Red express their love for each other.
7400888 I'm happy that chapter was favorable to you :)
I always love reading this story I hope to see more soon.
7416042 Got it fixed... took a while my gdocs were unresponsive for the whole day.
I would love to see a side chapter where Red pays Fine Print back for her efforts....and then some
Low intensity electricity isn't noticeable. If she wants to show redheart she needs to do something like touch her nose with it.
I would think Redheart would respect her even if she doesn't like her. She is her boss after all and is clearly a competent and hardworking mare.
*Sees date chapter was posted*
Well, gotta admit. This isn't the longest delay I've seen 'soon' refer to. Probably top 5. Was really liking this story too, so hope it gets picked back up again sometime.
8231707
LegionofPony and I have had a hard time getting time to work together given that he has to deal with commissions and etc. i am working on the chapters right now along with several others so as soon as we can we'll bring more. thanks for your patience and support.
8232379 Perfectly understandable, just though it was amusing.
This was beyond hot! Unf.
Are we ever going to get the next chapter? To leave us hanging at this point is just cruel! Lol!
To this all I can say is "Cannon Ball!!!"