jons133wolf
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Wow.. that description... quite foreboding
... well .... I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS! 
Will definitely read if it wasnt all one giant block of text, please use the enter key more, makes reading much easier.
Hmm... feels kinda like American Beauty. I hope you address the twins paternity issue. We all know those aren't Carrot Cake's kids.
2082783 They technically can be, assuming that one unicorn gene and one pegasus gene result in an Earth Pony, in which case both of the cakes would need those genes in order for the outcomes we got. Pony genetics has not been properly worked out though, so we have no idea what genes are dominant to what other genes.
How it's explained in the show is completely wrong though. So yeah, I could see a case being made that the children aren't his. The problem of the matter is who's are they? Because fraternal twins of different species seems like it would be an extremely rare occurrence.
If we're going with the most obvious answer, Carrot Cake is sterile, and they used artificial insemination. More than one stallions sperm was used, and two of the eggs took to the process.
As this process can be embarrassing for some people, I have no problems believing that that's the reason that Carrot Cake came up with that absurd lie.
Wow... damn he has a ton of stress. I really feel bad for the situation he is in
... usually I like a more positive happy romance with a smaller stressful problem... but this is REALLY problematic,,, still will read though 
3some? XD
Why is Carrot Cake so worked up over a measly dream? I'm sure his wife dreams of different stallions every night .
That was rather interesting and Demand moar
If you do not mind that is....
yes! more this is a good story so far! X3
er...ok
There. Now you have the proper music for your reading experience.
READ ON.
No comments? We can't have that!
This is a nice opening for a story. The 'usual' problems of Sugarcube Corner and some 'new' ones like broken machinery to add to the stress.
Cup Cake sounds extra bitchy in this one and I've yet to see a hint to as why that may be.
Nonetheless, I like your take on Carrot Cake. He seems to be the calm pole between all the problems around him or something like that.
Hm...go on. I'm interested how it will turn out. Not the sex, the story around it. As of now, it is a nice construct and it pulls me in.
The story is good so far... Flawless grammar and whatnot, so i don't see how this is getting so little attention. The only thing is, it does seem a bit depressing at this point. Or perhaps 'grim' is the better word. But it's entertaining and the chapters are very short, so it's not like i'm investing a ton of time.
We'll see about the next chapters.
Edit: Oh, i see. All the comments were on the last chapter. Anyway, after finishing what there was of it, it really seems like this story needs a sad tag. Right now, it's seems the Cake's marriage is falling apart, and things aren't looking like they are getting any better.
Divorce would be messy cause of the kids. Also because of the cake flying everywhere.
Mrs. Cake is a fatass, I can tell why Carrot Cake is wavering.
If I had to wake up next to a Cup Cake everyday, and be taunted by a Pink Pie in comparison everyday, I would want to wake up next to the Pink Pie at least once in my life.
You know, with how their relationship and Carrot Cakes thoughts were portrayed in the beginning, I'm thinking Cup Cake cheated on him, and he's pretty sure she did now that the twins are born.
Also, Pinkie is really overthinking this. Yes, he's normally private, but he obviously needed someone to vent to and couldn't do it to his wife yet, it's pretty obvious the next best person would be the one you've known for years. And with how cold Cup Cake has been throughout this fic, I'm really not surprised he's having trouble talking to her.
The marriage implosion thing is also easy to rationalise out. If their marriage was in danger of failing, of course he'd talk to Pinkie, she'd probably lose her residence while ownership of Sugarcube Corner was being decided.
Whoa. Chapters 4 and 5 have the same word count...
Yay, another new chapter!
Yeah, Cup Cake's a bitch in this. She gets snippy at him when she's in the kitchen, then gets pissed when he snaps a little at her after the day is done. I don't know if you're going to have the twins be his or not, but there's that too. Then there's the fact that she's obviously being pissed about Pinkie, even though there's nothing there (yet).
Personally, with how it has all been portrayed so far, I'm hoping that you have him get a paternity test, discover the truth that he isn't the foals father, divorce Cup Cake and leave her with the foals to support and no income (he'll get the shop/house if she's the one who screwed up the marriage) and get with Pinkie. Everyone is happy except the bitch, and seeing as she'll probably be unable to support the foals, they'll probably go to Mr. Cake anyway, what with Pinkie loving them and all.
How long till the next one? I honestly didn't think I'd enjoy this story as much as I do when I first read the description, thinking it would be just a quick clop story with Pinkie and Carrot Cake that ended up working out fine, but this is so much better than that and I'm utterly engrossed.
Man, things are getting tense. Let's see if Carrot does something dumb. And did Cup really cheat or was it really recessive genetics?
I was wondering if the whole "they're not my babies" thing was gonna make it in this story. Can't wait to see how this all pans out. Especially since Carrot Cake is in pinkie's room, alone, while she's vulnerable, and laying on her bad, naked!
But for real, I'm have a great time here. Enjoying the slow burn as well. 5 chapters in (over 10,000 words) and Pinkie is still clueless. Pinkie being 'clueless' may change soon for one reason or another. Whatever happens, keep up the good work.
2132622 Right! I mean, I agree with your last paragraph completely. I really thought this was gonna be a quick clop fic. Now I'm reading, and I can't get enough
2132622 Going to try to post a new chapter every Saturday night. No guarantees on how long I can keep that up, what with school and all.
Also, I'm glad everyone in the comments seems to be enjoying this so much. It makes me feel much better about writing it.
Now if only it could get more views...
2133038
Don't worry about that. Trust me, with what you're writing, it'll get noticed eventually. Though you might want to change your update time from Saturday nights to Saturday or Sunday days, there's more of a chance of a higher traffic flow seeing it update. Then again, don't know where you live, so then could be daytime for the majority of FF traffic.
Besides, you've got over 200 followers, post a blog about how you want all of them to at least give the story a shot right before you post your next chapter, you'll likely get enough views to graze the feature box for a little bit which will get you far more views.
It's all about clever marketing and product placement my friend.
EDIT: I'll also add that you updated this on a very inconvenient day. The season just ended, EVERYONE is adding a new chapter to their fic, you got swept off the front page inside an hour. If you'd updated two days ago, you'd have been up there for between 6 and 8. Trust me, I was checking, updates were SLOW on Thursday.
2133079 Fair point. I might try posting a blog about it, though my blog doesn't get that much traffic.
As for the upload time, Cuddling got updated Saturday nights as well and that got plenty of views, so...I don't know.
2133096 Eh, when you get followers, they all see when you post a blog.
True. I don't know what to say then. Maybe people are avoiding it because of the suggestion that Pinkie Pie might be a home wrecker in the description?
An update on my birthday? Aww, you shouldn't have.
troll.me/images/booker-t/awww-here-we-go.jpg
Not a bad story you've got going here. I'm pleasantly surprised it wasn't just some quick cheating clop. Definitely has potential. Keep up the good work!
Well I like this story. I think Twilight now has enough information to make a fairly accurate guesstimation as to what is going on with Carrot Cake, but nothing more than a guess/shrewd estimation. I hope to read a new chapter for this soon.
Just finished writing Chapter 6. I'll post it tomorrow. Expect lots of beefy back story in this upcoming chapter!
Here it is, "The Talk."
And no, this has nothing to do with that shitty CBS show.
Man, the marriage is on the rocks.
Heartfelt, and a gradual leadup. Here's one reader hoping that all will be well, and the three of them will become lovers together!
Monogamy, and the jealousy it causes, are soooooo overrated! 
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m51ib0idPE1rx2znso1_500.png
C'mon! You know you wanna...
2167026 And if that picture is any indication, the babies will somehow be involved...
2167107
No! Not the babies
2167157>>2167107 Nah, this is a time honored tradition in porn. If the married couple is getting bored, you invite the babysitter to have a threesome with you.
2167157
FUCK NO! I concur. If this includes the babies, I'm out.
But this story is progressing rather nicely. I can't wait to see what the next chapter has in store.
Shit is gonna go down
Wow, what a well written chapter, Pinkie is of course true to who she is athough I love the take on Carrot and Cup Cake, I had been wanting to read such a story in FORVER and thank the Gods that I now have a chance, you done well for this, great details, not rushed and keeps us a bit in the dark, oh yeah, I'll be readong more
2167607 They say hand all the time on the show...
Anyway, glad you like it so far!
It's becoming more and more obvious that the twins aren't his. If their marriage was on the rocks before she was pregnant, considering her attitude now, I wouldn't be surprised if she went looking for intimacy elsewhere.
Before he gets a divorce though, he should get a paternity test done in secret. Have the results sent to a private P.O. box. That way, if they aren't his, he can take everything in the divorce.
Unfortunately, you've set him up as the one who isn't business minded and his wife is, so he probably wouldn't think of that and will end up being taken to the cleaners in court. Please let the divorce lawyer he talks to/has been talking to think of that.
And yes, I REALLY want Cup Cake to lose the divorce badly, and for there to BE a divorce.
Damn, this has to be so painful for Mr. Cakes, shit.....never thought this could cause such a dark aspect...and I love every second, wonder what Pinkie's thoughts are on this though
Poor Pinkie, having to stuggle so much with something that she does not really understand, so tragic but it's so strange seeing Pinks be serious and I love when she is
Shit, this is going to hurt Cup Cake if Carrot tries anything with Pinkie Pie....damn, I had a feeling the the twins were not Carrots
Damn.....this is going to get crazy
Wow....talk about a serious and heart warming talk, you done seriously very well. Damn, this is so amazing that it draws you in, and it's very detailed, you're doing a very, very great job
Shit, wonder if this would make the two become closer because of what they had shared
2 Things caught my attention.
1st was that the Cakes were having marital troubles even before the kids; a whole bag of possibilities can be taken from this, most being covered by other so I wont go into it.
The 2ed however, no one seems to be talking about, witch is what Mr. Cake said to Pinkie. I know.... he said a lot to pinkie. I mean, one particular thing he kinda just throw in during the talk. He said he refused to fire Pinkie Pie, despite their financial problems. Him saying he implies (to me) that his wife wasn't with him on that. That maybe she wanted to kick Pinkie out but he wouldn't let it happen. I don't want to get too, too into it but this alone makes what Mrs. Cake was implying last chapter more sensible in a lot of ways; Some having a good shoot be be brought to light next chap.
Good chapter and...
i1.cpcache.com/product_zoom/665580638/good_talk_coach_magnet.jpg?padToSquare=true
2170079 I'll be honest here, I didn't even have your second point in mind when I wrote it. But I sure as hell would love to adapt it. Providing some tension between Pinkie Pie and Cup Cake would definitely help move the story in the direction I want to take it. Thank you for the idea!