- Member Since 16th Nov, 2013
- offline last seen Dec 11th, 2017
Pizzema Forte
You never know where the green beans are going to land.
Pizzema Forte
Joined 16th Nov, 2013 ·
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Nice story. Well-written as I expected, but something about it feels off.
I'm in the minority that doesn't want these two together. In the time that Surprise has been in the actual story, Rainbolt has shown little interest in her outside of vague physical attraction. It's just my interpretation, but there's something that doesn't click with me about this pairing.
If THIS was canon, Surprise would be RD's stepmom. Speaking of which, how old is Rainbolt, anyway!?
Im not one for this kindve thing, im kindve a pony purist, clop is kindve a not for me, but i LOVE a good romance like this, its so real, and not staged. Its so much fun to just see them as normal ponies and then put them in a love scene, its different if you know them from a love scene first. I love it i just love it!
4994709 I think me and forte talked about this but I cant remember I'm pretty sure it was around 30 or so
Amazing, absolutely amazing.
4994527 I totally understand. When I was asked to write this with drunken sex, I was a bit afraid about how I'd pull it off. In previous chapters, I stated Rainbolt wasn't a drinker. Instead of choosing to bend Rainbolt's character a lot, I decided to bend Surprise a bit to make it work. I can't honestly say I felt the same way when writing Surprise in this, but all-in-all, I think it could possibly work. Besides, Surprise once bought tickets for "Rainbow Dash" to go see a Wonderbolts show, when in reality she took her there to get closer to her father. So, occasionally, she can be a bit manipulative for her own desires, which I why I chose this route. When looking at my own characters, I think the reason Rainbolt is a bit turned-off by her is because she is a bit crazy, and can be a bit possessive at times. I may have bended her a bit too much in this, which is why it's not going to be in canon with the main story.
4994709 I don't know. Every time I have to mention his age, I have to do a whole bunch of math to figure it out. I need to keep better track of my own characters.
4995469 Glad you liked it!
I found something you may want to edit.
Nice chapter, but there one or two things you may want to edit.
Also, there's a part where you wrote "whole" when I think you meant "hole", though I could be wrong here. But you definitely wrote "soul" instead of "sole".
Very nice chapter, and I loved the ending line. That being said, I found some things you may want to edit.
I'm pretty sure that should be "on".
That should be "suddenly".
Wow, really freaking descriptive >.> This is probably one of the best clopfics on fimfiction, it's just so good
But how was making it? Was it awkward or a little painful for you to do? Just wondering.
4997151 It was awkward because of the characters. It just felt weird to put the two in the situation, and I felt like they had to be a tad bit out of character to make it happen, though. I enjoyed writing it as a whole, though.
4996427 Thank you for the corrections!
Is this canon?
What the fuck!?
I just found another thing in this chapter that you may want to edit.
Surprise and Rainbolt sex! Yay... And what's this "good stuff's in chapter 2?" Romance isn't good? Surprise flirting isn't worth reading? Rainbolt blushing isn't fun?
She looks like her poppa, and is almost as beautiful as her momma.
I need to get me some of that. Apparently, the only time I relax is when I sleep.
Ah! That's how she got him to invite her in.
D'aww, that's cute.
Drugs are bad.
Sounds like she's already half asleep. If he drugs her, a stampede of rhinos won't wake her up.
Yes, I want coffee with my cream and sugar.
No, sleep is the last thing she wants tonight.
What did I just say? Surprise wants the bolt, Rainbolt.
I hope this cabinet becomes it's own chapter in Raising Rainbow for some reason.
Their hooves touching there would be pretty cliche. Say, has Surprise ever been with a pony before this?
Th-That's good. Boys will be boys, and what boy doesn't want to not get into trouble with his older brother? It's good to see the two of them getting along in such a normal way.
Mmmkay?
I think sexy, pretty, gorgeous, attractive, and similar adjective are interrelated, jumping from one to another is easy.
I get rather talkative an lose my sense of time.
He could fly away to find Firefly and us his D knock some sense into her. Or Mrs. Skies. Or Surprise.
I wanted to say that, but it sounded like low fruit.
???
It's vodka, it burns.
I told you he was going to be a good father. I bet Blue Moon likes him more than mommy.
Have we forgotten who directs how much rain each region in Equestria gets? Remember when rocks prices skyrocketed years ago? That was Rainbolt's fault.
That's me, right there. Something tells me he's going to see how sweet she is soon...
Ponies are made to be aesthetically pleasing. Big eyes, smooth fur.
Quit trolling her.
"Maybe once the author finishes Raising Rainbow, she will make us be together."
Go! Go! Go! Go!
And with that, he's waking up next to her in the morning.
For kissing? <Dr. Evil voice> Kissing. Riiight.
Yeah you are!
So, is drugging Rainbolt and Moonstruck the only way to get them in bed? I hope their mother could seduce their father through simpler, less devious means.
Whoo, that was a fun chapter. This takes place a few years/months after Blue Moon's birth, but I'm guessing it's not canon for Raising Rainbow? That's disappointing. Wow, I made this comment a loong one.
5011952 Ah, articunos, I love reading your comments. Also, this event isn't canon with Raising Rainbow. I added in dialogue, memories, and other things to make it seem like a realistic chapter, though. The only things that were canon are the cabinet (which you seem oddly fond of), the memory between Rainbolt and Moonstruck, and the comments Rainbolt made about Blue Moon, Mrs. Skies, and his brother. Also, there's something else canon in the next chapter, that's a little bit odd (but fun). Glad you're enjoying it.
It's about to get a lot better.
<heavy breathing>
Girls don't want to hear that, but this is a case where it's okay. Edit: Okay, that's exactly what she wanted.
That's either very good, or very bad bad Surprise, make sure he knows the context.
Yes, having a penis means you are going to rape her.
>rape
Kinda defeats the purpose of rape Surprise.
Aww, that's so sweet!
That answers my question. Now hammer him like a nail.
Wait, he's doing this to teach her? But, she wants it so he can return her feelings...That's sad...
Don't really know why I expected these two banging to know what they were doing.
Wow. It sounds classy, but clearly it's not.
Oh no, his sexual side he has no shared with anyone in ten, eleven years, wants something specific from her. What a terrible person...
Okay! That's it for me! I'm done!
Surprise, oh you!
Da na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na, Batman!(I'm sorry! I really am!)
How would he know? It's inside. On the front wall, right above(or below) the skeins gland(that's pretty good too).
Don't ask!
Oh, that's great. You getting bored already Surprise? I see how it is.
Responsibility's a bitch like that. He could have gotten lucky and missed, but we all know his(and brothers) fertility track record.
Eh, buck it.
Do it, do it, do it, do it!
This was good. The foreplay was more clopworthy than the main event, but that's not a bad thing. Also, I felt the dialogue afterwards was much more natural and relaxed than most clop pillow talk. Now for the epilogue, please put them together, even if it's slow to grow...
4994709 I'm pretty sure he's twenty-nine.
There's no 'sort of' about it.
Did not expect that.
Because shut up.
Get your hooves off my daddy! 
Can't sugar, he started it. 
We all saw it, that's not true.
Yeah, your right.
5012137 Yeah, I've been noticed! I guessed this wasn't canon, which is too bad. Ah well. It was still a good ride. If you ever do want him in a canon relationship, I still cast a vote for Blueshift.
Teeheehee, I wonder, if Rainbolt showed up in Ponyville one day, after twilight meet her friends, which of Rainbows' young, single, beautiful friends would appeal the most to him? Orange tree kicker perhaps?
Hmhm... Quite.
Dat last part.