"Hey Celestia?"
Celestia sighed. "What, Luna."
"This one is good, I promise."
"I have my sincere doubts."
"Why did the restaurant on the moon got out of business?"
"Cadance, please make her stop."
"Don't look at me! You're the one who gave her the damn book!"
Celestia sighed again, bringing a hoof to her snout. There was truly only one way to make the pain end.
"Why did the moon restaurant go out of business, Luna?" she said, gritting her teeth.
"Because it had great food, but no atmosphere!"
"Booooo," Cadance called, to agreeing nods from Celestia.
"Oh, you two just don't get it. You see, the joke is that—"
"Luna, stop it. Explaining a joke is like dissecting a worm..." Celestia reached a hoof to grab the infernal book from Luna, but the moon princess only held it tighter against her chest. "...everyone understands it, but it dies in the process."
"Ah! Very good!" Luna said in a chipper tone, a quill appearing in her magic. "I will add that one! My, I didn't know you had one of these books too, Celestia!"
"What kind of tyrant are you?" Cadance narrowed her eyes at Celestia. "You seriously didn't know this would happen?"
"I thought it was cute!" Celestia protested, flailing her hooves defensively. "101 Jokes About Space! How was I to know it would be the harbinger of darkness and despair?! Besides, you've only had to put up with her for an hour. She's been reading them to me all week."
"Sometimes in her dreams," Luna added, still writing.
"She tortures me," Celestia said, her eyes glazing over. "Day and night. It won't stop. I am frightened for my sanity."
"Hello, Frightened For My Sanity," Luna called. "I am Luna!"
Celestia had a reaction akin to getting stabbed through her heart. Cadance, however, managed to retain her composure enough to speak calmly. A quick glance at Celestia's defeated form was enough to fill her with confidence.
"Luna, I am genuinely curious..."
"Hello, Genu—!"
"Shut up for a second! Princess Cadance of the Crystal Empire desires to know... when we are going to get the next full moon."
"Wait, what? Why?"
"Just answer me, Luna!"
"Well, not for awhile. It is waning, presently."
"Luna."
"What?" the moon princess moaned, getting visibly upset by Cadance's cryptic behaviour.
"Luuuuunnna."
"What do you want from me?!"
"Look outside," Cadance pointed a hoof at the sunny skies. "Waning? It isn't even cloudy."
With a mighty scream of "Not you, too!", Celestia dove out of the restaurant booth and fled from the diner entirely.
...o.O....why did she run screaming out of the cafe? I don't get it.
7032504
Cadence made a horrible joke. Would you like me to disect the worm for you, or do you want to figure it out yourself?
Yes.
*punchlines to the jokes*
*my head*
Then again, I am not from anglosphere, nor is english my native language. Still, nice little snippet. :)
I think you best leave such twists of words to Pun Pony.
Ouch. Bad Joke alert.
And I loved it.
7032504 This is just for you Backlash Substitute waning for raining
Here's a coffee tongue twister: a proper cup of coffee in a copper coffee pot!
And oh god, that was horrible.
Bring out the jokes Luna make them dream of puns!!!
That dad joke is grounds for banishment back to the moon.
Someday wanted you to know that we all will die, but today is not that day.
Not sure if should face desk, or clap.derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/7/31/947791__safe_meme_animated_cute_image+macro_diamond+tiara_silver+spoon_clapping_sarcasm_adorabullies.gif
7032976 Honestly? I feel like this best represents my thoughts upon hitting the publish button:
And from then on... Celestia knew...
Equestria was doomed.
7033039
7034065 I'm Canadian. It's amongst our main exports. My country has emergency reserves of more than a million dollars worth of maple syrup hidden in a warehouse.
That's actually a true fact.
Syrup is one of those things where as soon as you spoil yourself with the expensive kind, it's hard to go back. Like yogurt.
I...
I...
Oh my Stars.
7032976
*Facedesk AND clap*
I can appreciate a good bad joke... as much sense as that makes... Guess that makes me Sans. Either that or I'm just... bone tired
Me and two other friends once kept up a constant stream of egg puns for close to 45 minutes. Our other friend eventually said "Eff this, Andy, shut up and drive me home." This prematurely ended our weekly Table Top RPG night. And as I stood by the front of my house with my friend Sam, we looked at each other and said at almost eggs-actly the same time "Worth it."
Thanks for the reading boss!
7034142 I'm a heathen american, I put butter on my pancakes then use butter flavored maple syrup. It's sooooo good.
7034142
thejumblr.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/1419351224tumTheCanadianshavefallen.jpg
7036868 Wait, WHAT ABOUT HICKEY?!? That's one of Canada's main exports!!! Beating people in ice up with sticks!
*Hockey not hickey, that typo was to good to remove, like spilling paint and making brilliant art by accident! Except this isn't brilliant... Or art...
That was awful. In the best way.
Oh, but Celestia! If I was there you would get a pun-a-day! I might even try a pun-a-night schedule with Luna! Wouldn't that be pun-derful?
Normally I'm on the ball regarding puns... But that last one took me an uncomfortably long time to get. As in scanning the comment to get it before re-reading and it clicking long. Waning. Raining.
pre03.deviantart.net/c2bc/th/pre/f/2015/006/3/8/fidget___dust_an_elysian_tail_by_difixini-d8ctne4.png
Waning is used as a wordplay of "raining"
7035745
There's no butter way to do that. Some studies disagree, but they're margarine-all at best.
7055240 Way to churn the discussion, there.
Great; now I'm trying to milk the situation. Talk about cheesy...
7037497 Whenever we have pancakes in the UK we pour lemon juice on them. Sometimes a sprinkling of sugar. But always lemon juice, and never syrup. That would be... weird.
Good to know I'm not the only pony immature enough to do this. Seriously though, you're doing a great job with this fic, please keep it up for VON SOUZAND YEARS! Also, loving the idiotic portrayal of Luna.
Sans approves of this chapter
7083883 Are you talking about US-style pancakes, Swedish pancakes, or crepes?
US-style pancakes are fairly thick and heavy, a cheap, filling, high-calorie breakfast for laborers and those who might need to work through the mid-day meal. The butter and syrup are part of the package.
The only gripe I have with this chapter is that this story appears to take place in one of the earlier seasons (someone commented about thinking it was before the end of season 1), since Cadance didn't know Twilight was Celestia's student, and she also hasn't married Shining Armor yet, but Cadance refers to herself as the Princess of the Crystal Empire here. There seems to be a bit of a chronology flub.
Other than that, this was hysterical. That one nitpick hasn't taken away from my enjoying the story.
Edit after reading a few more chapters: If this is supposed to take place over the course of multiple seasons, then I redact my first statement.
7146585 Honestly, I mostly began the chapter with Cadance and Luna meeting because I thought that it would be a good 'Pilot' chapter, as it were. Plus that specific interaction is sadly under exploited.
Then, I realized I kinda damned myself with the chronology. I wanted to have Twilight join them, I wanted to comment on Flurry Heart and Starlight, and the only way I could really do that is by gradually bringing the story back to the present. Mostly though, I didn't really feel as though the place in time was super important—it's just isolated cafe conversations between immortals. I guess the implication I was going for is just that the princesses do this every week and have been since Season 1.
I guess I could have made that clearer, but from this point on, unless otherwise stated, this story takes place in or immediately around the present events of the show.
Thanks for reading, either way!
I needed these laughs more than any of you can ever comprehend...
My lungs hurt!
ASDF movie references!
*yay!*
WHY
*Slow pause*
*Pause*
*LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG Groan as I get the waning pun*
*long silence*
*longer silence*
*quiet as a mute mouse and long as a giraffe's neck silence*
I remember the scholastic book catalogue having those books and I even recall enjoying them in my insane youth.
That sums up my reaction to the chapter.
My god...
The other sans would be proud.
a, ooooooh lordy, nicely done XD
...wha...what?
WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?
The author's note...
Beautiful. Poetry.
stop pls stop
That note at the end! Ha ha! Killing me.
7033469
And it was at this moment, that she knew; she bucked up.