"Alright, I've got a good one," Cadance put down her menu, grinning. "Pancakes, waffles, or french toast?"
"Cadance!" Luna gasped. "Do you wish to tear the universe asunder? To incite a three-way Equestrian Civil War?"
"Indeed." Celestia's eyes had grown wide. "That is perhaps the largest question I've heard. And that's coming from a mare who gets asked 'the meaning of life' on a daily basis. The answer I give them is the same I give you, dear niece..."
Celestia cleared her throat dramatically. "Waffles."
"Hm." Cadance sniffed. "I mean, it's a good choice, Auntie. It's wrong, though. Everypony knows that waffles pale in comparison to french toast."
"Oh, come now!" Celestia protested. "No sane pony could say that and not feel like a complete monster."
"Waffles are like accessory foods," Cadance replied, waving a hoof breezily. "Eating just a plain waffle for breakfast is like watching a crappy movie without friends to laugh with. It's a boring and lonely experience."
Celestia blinked. "You lost me."
"I mean, when do you ever eat a waffle without shoveling a bunch of sugary junk onto it, first? Nopony just serves waffles, straight. Shining Armor once did that when I was sick in bed, and I only half jokingly threatened him with divorce. So when you eat a waffle, you're not enjoying just the waffle. You're enjoying the waffle and all of its diabetes-inducing accessories."
"Hm." Celestia shrugged. "A good point. But then again... if a waffle is of poor quality, it at least has the capacity to be saved from being an unflavourful disaster. You could buy the saddest toaster waffles in the universe, but with whip-cream and syrup, they are still incredible. But a poor piece of french-toast? With its gross, goopy egg taste? It is unsalvegable."
"Well, you can still put fruit onto crappy french toast."
"Yes, but you can put anything onto waffles. Whip-cream, chocolate, fruit. They're like a cake but as a breakfast food—you can do anything with them and it works. They are versatile, whereas one who eats french toast is bound by the whims of the eggs. The eggs make or break the experience."
"You heathens," Luna brought a hoof to her temples. "You poor, misguided fools."
She said nothing further.
"Uh... did we break Luna?" Cadance blinked. "Is she gonna go Nightmare on us or something?"
Celestia was shocked, too. "Uh, Luna? Your opinion?"
"You two are so materialistic. So bound by your arbitrary, petty little beliefs of what constitutes quality. Somewhere along the lines of your lives, after experiencing every frivolous and exaggerated luxury set out before you, you forgot how to simply be mares."
"Luna, are you going to give us an opinion or not?" Cadance groaned.
"Pancakes!" she exclaimed. "There is no other choice! The most humble, and yet the most delectable. Ponies seem to believe that it is necessary to turn breakfast into some experience, and as such pancakes are shoved at the bottom of restaurant menus, beneath their more flashy and impressive brethren. The pancake lurks calmly and humbly at the bottom of the menu. It is proud of what it is—the epitome of breakfast. The representation of morning, of a new dawn. And yet it respects itself enough to simply be itself. It does not need to leech onto some sugary saccharine to give itself worth."
Her piece said, Luna leaned back and brought her breakfast menu back up, concealing her from the other two mares.
Celestia and Cadance were shell-shocked.
"That... was the most poetic rant about pancakes I have ever had the privilege of hearing," Cadance said finally.
"That was beautiful." Celestia agreed. "I have goosebumps."
Luna dropped the menu triumphantly, just as the diner's waitress stopped at their table wearing her trademark exaggerated grin.
"Are you three ready to order?"
"Pancakes, for me and my niece, Sunny Side." Celestia smiled. "Luna?"
"I'll have the crepes, please."
WHAT THE HELL LUNA!
Well, I know just the perfect emoticon for this...
Why the hell don't we have a troll Luna emoticon yet? Why don't we have a Luna emoticon, period?
Regardless, funny and surprisingly poetic. Kind of.
Why do I get the feeling that Luna's hiding the biggest smile as has ever existed behind her menu?
Luna just turned master manipulator for a bit there.
Curses! There is no 'devious' emote, much less a 'devious Luna' one.
Hey Norris, what are your thoughts on mayonnaise?
For me
1)pancake's
2)French Toast
3)Waffles
Although I would expect Celesta to be the Pancake one seeing as it has cake in it's name and we all know that she just loves her cake's.
But none the less I have to agree with Cadence that Luna's little speech was very poetic. Good job.
7054540
You do know that crepes are a type of pancake right? She is still ordering pancakes it's just a different type of pancake.
Bread shall reign over the kingdom of breakfast until the end of time.
Luna is best troll Princess.
7054542
My favourite instrumentI love it, but for some reason every damn restaurant I've ever been to thinks it's necessary to serve my hamburger with a disgusting amount. I mean god damn... it's like the hamburgers had an orgy or something.
Also I don't know what it is and I refuse to look it up because I'm intrigued by the thought that such an everyday food is so damn mysterious.
7054590 Well mayonnaise is basically the original salad dressing and is actually very simple. It is a mixture of eggs, oil, and vinegar spoilered in case you want to keep it a secret from yourself, not because its disturbing or surprising, it isn't.
7054552 Indeed I do, but it undermines her entire argument
Therefore, she cannot order crepes (unless they serve rather strange ones at this cafe) while still upholding her own argument.
Ahaha I have been waiting for this chapter! I dunno, it's an age old debate and I love it. I used to be a huge pancake lover, saying they were my favorite breakfast food period, but now I'm starting to lean toward french toast. Waffles will forever remain bottom shelf for me-they tend to be, as Cadance said, to dependent on other things to make them good, where as I can eat french toast and pancakes plain if needed.
...My Lady is confusing. Surely she knows that Cream of Wheat is the truly superior breakfast food?!
A cig and a good dump is the best breakfast. Anything else is just excessive.
7054620
Luna's point was to win "the argument" through shock and awe.
With "the argument" concluded in her favor, that victory was notched onto her metaphorical belt, granting her the right of every victor:
The right to rewrite their history.
I just did a bloody anime feint cause of this chapter!!! What the Flip a flappin Flapjack happened!?!?
Barbarism! The supreme breakfast food is Kedgeree, and shall remain so forever! I don't know what ponies would use in place of salmon, but the point still stands. And black pudding, NOT In the foul incarnation of fried hard disks, but so soft that you can chew it with just your tongue. And crumpets, not rubbery porous things that look like the patches left after freezing off a verruca cluster, but pliant and flavoursome rounded marvels. I'm passionate about breakfast,
7054552
7054620
Firstly: Crepes are not pancakes. Period.
Secondly: Crepes can be breakfast, desert, or even savory, and as such also a candidate for a suitable and respectable dinner course. Find a way to make a dinner pancake. Crepes can be eaten at any time of day.
7054743 breakfast for dinner, duh.
Also, while pancakes are like the most delicious (the small and quick home cooked ones, not the giant sponges they serve at restaurants), french toast is the easiest to make, and therefore the best.
Best breakfast is livermush on toast with a bit of mustard though.
I was half expecting Miss Muffins to fly in, put a muffin in front of each of them, and fly out without a word.
7054680 I HATE that right. somebody needs to see about a way to revoke it.
7054743 Firstly: the definition of pancake I am using is that thin(ish, depending on preference) batter is baked in a skillet. unless I am mistaken, they both fall into that category.
Secondly: while true, I fail to understand how that argument is relevant. please enlighten me on the connection.
7054940 Let's revise all the books in the world and remove any mention of that right!
Er... Wait...
7054619 Probably the most conceptually hilarious use of the spoiler function that I've seen. To protect the secret of maynonnaise.
I tend to go without food at breakfast, but the best I had was a potato/hot pepper* omelet.
*: jalapeños, if I recall correctly.
7054965 it'd result in almost no understandable history, I know. BUT I'M ALLOWED MY DREAMS DARNIT!
cowfee
I'll just have a Cornish pasty with locally made home-style tomato sauce (I keep in the fridge at work) from the morning chuck wagon sent around by the local bakery. Morning tucker/smoko (not that i smoke, ugh) is the closest I get to breakfast most mornings.
7054743 Wikipedia say's other wise. It's still a type of pancake. While it may not be a pan cake in the traditional sense it still is a type of pancake. But If you don't agree lets just agree to disagree and drop it.
Wasn't going to comment on two chapters back to back, but this too fine a point to pass up.
So in the pancake/waffle/french toast race, gotta be pancakes. Either done nice and thin with a little sugar and lemon, or so thick you could use them as a pillow with jam or syrup.
However, as the debate devolved, none of these are the breakfast champion they claim to be. That honor goes the Avenger's style union that is the full English breakfast. Bacon, egg, sausage, beans, tomato, mushrooms all done in the same pan, throw some bread in after to supp up the juices and make fried slice. Maybe some black pudding or gammon. Definitely a mug of tea. Even our strictly vegan miniature equine friends would struggle to say no to that!
I myself enjoy all three options, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. However, I will always choose waffles first, French toast second, and pancakes third, as long as they're all homemade. The toaster versions of any of those? I'd rather have oatmeal, thanks.
Waffles, with bacon and sausage. I make myself a sandwich anytime I can. It's so good, even the artery clogging fats and vague sense of early, untimely demise can't diminish how good it is.
French Toast. Maybe pancakes on occasion but never waffles.
7055411 I'd die a happy man if it was brought about by bacon.
LAPDOGS, ALL OF YOU!
The very best breakfast is a taco with beans, cheese, sausage, and egg. Add coffeee
7055025 https://youtu.be/zvlzu_kM31Y?t=5 Can't not hear that now.
I was about suggest crepes as well. Though waffle irons make great hash browns
I'm with Luna on this; Pancakes are easy to make, can combine well with nearly anything, can be eaten without anything, is durable enough to eat out of pocket (no syrup), and you can stack them! Ain't no lumberjack breakfast complete without pancakes.
7054523 crepes are essentially pancakes
7055240 tastes good, don't care.
Suggestion for a new chapter: They go back to the topic of Cadence being the Princess of Love, and marvel in the irony that she had an awful wedding. Celestia makes a remark about Chrysalis, and how if it had been up to her she would have put the Queen in solitary confinement for a few centuries. From there, they get to talking about Celestia's disturbing penchant for solitary confinement as a first solution to any threat, and how not only is it unethical (Luna and Cadence have no problem with that, instead referring to their previous discussion on the ethics of dreamwalking and love spells), but it really only puts the problem off and makes the entity more unhinged. Near the end of the chapter, a joke is made about Luna having a LOT of imaginary friends.
Pancakes are superior, not only are they completely Dadian in nature, but also fractals with immense variation in shape, size, and versatility. Waffles are bland, gridded, and uniform. and French toast is just a lazy person's eggsalad sandwich.
Enough said.
rlv.zcache.co.nz/team_pancakes-r613ada16b6674f1e9e1fed986d529b7b_ilb28_324.jpg?rlvnet=1
7054669 YOU TAKE THAT BACK, YOU DIRTY HEATHEN!!! Oatmeal is quite clearly superior to cream of wheat!
7059126
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Wait, pancakes have exactly the same problem as waffles. Without at minimum syrup pancakes are almost inedible. Plus unlike waffles pancakes go gross and soggy from its topping much, much faster than waffles, making them far more inferior.
7062910 Depends on who made the pancakes
You're all damn fools! The finest breakfast food this world has ever seen is also one of the most diverse, having as many variants as there have been cultures with access to the primary agricultural product! It can be sweet, it can be savory, it can be heaped with toppings or served plain and any way you eat it, it will be filling, nutritious, AND delicious!
Mares and gentlecolts, I give you...
...GRITS!!!
Case closed!
7066382
I have never been anywhere where the pancakes did not go on a short timer as soon as the syrup went on it.
7066652 unlike waffles the average pancake (at least around where I live) is still a light and fluffy semisweet cake with a hint of whatever the cook's secret ingredient is. You don't need the amount of syrup and butter you use on waffles, so that might be what's tripping you up. Personally I put half a tablespoon of butter between each pancake directly after taking them out of the pan, but the ones I make leave little room for anything else on the plate, and will leave you full and satisfied until dinner time, even when needing to rake two acres of leaves. They also taste alright reheated in the,microwave after days of sitting on the counter.
7066652 You win with this comment.
That's probably why they do pancake eating contests like it's a freaking race —when it comes to eating mediocre pancakes, you've got four minutes, tops. Perhaps seven, if you add blueberries. Either way, the clock is ticking.
7066513 Y'know, funnily enough, at no point do any of the princesses say anything about pancakes, waffles, or not-from-France toast being 'the best breakfast food.' They just argue about what order they go in amongst the three options.
I still like the civil war it spawned, though
By the way, I love your avatar. Something delightfully contradictory about princesses and America.