Twilight blew her mane out of her eyes with an annoyed 'humph!'. "Y'know, you girls can stop making fun of me anytime."
"Oh, we're not making fun of you," Cadance replied. "But this is too funny to just ignore."
Twilight levitated her beverage and took an angry drink, although the effect was lost considering her beverage of choice was a tall pink milkshake. "Can't we talk about the weather or something?"
"Oh, we did that five chapters ago," Luna replied. "Don't blame us for not being around. Anyways, keep reading, Celly."
Celestia complied with a wide smile, cracking the newspaper before her. "'...the best things you can do,' Flim and Flam continued, '...is to care for others and help them care themselves..."'
"He plagiarized me," Twilight growled, wrenching the newspaper from Celestia's aura and crumbling it up in frustration. "He stole my freaking lines. He stole my whole speech basically! And then he has the gall to cite me?! Without asking if I even approved?!"
"We had this conversation last week," Luna trilled. "You should be honoured, Twilight! He quoted you!"
"Oh, bullroar I'm honoured!" Twilight growled. "I don't want to be associated with... with corrupt businessmen! I feel like I could write a whole damn novel about how much I dislike them, but here they are acting all... all buddy-buddy with me to the point of ripping me off."
"Do I detect another angry letter in the works?" Celestia asked with a devilish grin.
"You probably do," Twilight replied.
Celestia snickered. "Well, like Luna said. You should be a little complimented that you said something worth repeating."
"Right, but words are a weapon, Princess Celestia," Twilight said. "With great... uh, diction, comes great responsibility. I'd think you'd know about it. Haven't you accidentally started any race wars or anything?"
Celestia frowned. "Now that you mention it... I've been accused of being a tribalist thanks to some horrible actions ponies have performed in 'my name' and with some out of context thing I said as justification."
"Eh, you two have it easy," Cadance said. "My legacy will probably be having accidentally started a trend of Disaster Baby Names."
Silence.
"Disaster Baby Names?" Luna cocked her head. "I'm intrigued."
"Exactly what it says on the can," Cadance replied. "Ponies naming their babies after huge disasters. I started a horrible thing. I feel bad for whatever poor soul must go through life forever known as Swirling Tsunami or Fitz Edmund or something."
"If I had a nickel for ever cult I inspired with my whole "usurper rants as Nightmare Moon," I could buy out the present monarchy instead of overthrowing it," Luna added. "I was much more charismatic as Nightmare Moon, in retrospect."
"The point is, Twilight," Celestia said, smiling. "As soon as you're in any position of elevated status, ponies begin to see you as more important. I don't think anypony here at this table necessarily likes that, but it is the way we must live."
"I just wish there could be a... a buffer between when ponies do and don't quote me or take me incredibly seriously. I feel like I always come across as... as Miss Friendly-Friendship-Pony even when I'm trying to be deadly serious. I... I have difficulty trying to actually assert to ponies that I'm not really willing to take their crap."
"Tell that to the folks at the Canterlot Times," Celestia replied.
"Well that's what I mean. I have no real buffer. I'm either furious or friendly. I can't just be... uh, apathetic.""
"You know..." Cadance replied lazily. "I've got an age-old strategy for that."
Twilight blinked. Her gaze quickly became one of intense focus.
"I see you're interested." Cadance smiled. "Want to know the sure fire way to reach Apathetic Status? To look like you don't give a crap about anything?"
"I do." Twilight nodded.
Cadance leaned back. "Eat an apple."
Twilight blinked again. "...what?"
"Eat an apple. Seriously. You're talking with somepony. A foreign dignitary maybe. He's walking all over you, trying to appeal to your 'goodness' or whatever. Then, you bust out the apple. Suddenly, you're Queen Bitch of the Room. You don't care about anypony or anything there. Queen Chrysalis could bust in the room, but she'd see you and instantly stop. Cause you're busy. Busy with an apple. Busy eating an apple. You don't have time to care about her. Have you ever seen a pony eat an apple while carrying any level of concern towards their surroundings? No. Because you don't mess with a pony when they're eating an apple."
"I... I'm a little speechless," Twilight confessed. "You're not even wrong."
"Of course I'm not," Cadance said. "You know, Celestia may be a hell of a gambit planner, but she's lacking in the flair department."
Approves
I guess that's the secret to the Apple Clan's success.
Have all of my yeses! Okay not all of them I still need a few for other stories. Any way thanks for more laughs.
-BFBL
An apple a day maintain "The Doctor" away,
Did somepony say Apple?
Not that kind of apple
7406953
As well as the crazy that follows...
As CinemaSins would put it, the apple is the 'I'm an asshole evil guy, because I'm eating am apple while monologuing.'
Nobody messes with the 'Apple Guy'
-Ambassador of the Changelings,
Dopple Ganger
I'm doing that someday.
Beautiful.
SUMMER OF PIGLETS EVERYONE IS GONNA THINK I'M COPYING YOU WHEN I MAKE FUN OF THAT NOW AAAAAAAAA-
i.imgur.com/dYshj2x.gif
Also, Cadance is a fan of CinemaSins. *ding*
7407059 But I definitely copied you! There's even historical evidence!
7407069 "Cadance would be great at CinemaSins! *ding!*
Did apple jack pay cadence to say that? It would be funny as hell if she did.
7407075
Oh yeah~
Dat fourth wall tho.
Also, I'm so using Cadence's strategy.
That's just fantastic.
That is amazing. I swear to god I am going to start doing that.
...I need to buy some apples. Apple Bloom!
Gee, I wonder what inspired THIS chapter.
That... is legitimately clever. I'm pleasantly surprised!
7407127 beware to tap on the glass of the 4th wall as it summons the pink one...(not cadance)
7407176
Already went through summoning her: I'm still trying to clean up the cupcake mess in the Habitat...
Speaking of Queen Chrysalis, she is the possibly immortal leader for a species of equinoid emotivores, what are the chances of her joining in on the coffee time even if it is in disguise?
Well this didn't take long at all. Bravo.
7407222 She'll probably get a chapter eventually, to be completely honest. I was thinking about including her for a Halloween-Themed chapter but I also don't want to wait that long. That's, like, 14 Tuesdays away.
Also I had an idea for a joke chapter involving Shining Armor, Spike, and Prince Blueblood in place of the princesses7407226 Hey look everybody, I'm topical now!
I get that coffee is addictive. Did you have to go the extra mile of having them looking and dressing as strung-out punk rock kids?
Draco Malfoy in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, film edition. The scene where Buckbeak is introduced, he's eating an apple and it somehow makes him look like a jerk. Instant apathy; it shows that you're in control and don't give a bleep! about anything. Nobody's going to mess with you.
7407272 ... You do realize the cover art came a year before the story did, right?
7407362 whoops miss read.
7407348 Captain Kirk eats an apple in the Genesis Cave. Everybody else thinks they're completely screwed, but Jim Kirk isn't worried--he's got an apple!
Moments later, Spock calls, reveals Kirk has been in control of the situation the whole time, and they beam up to the not-crippled Enterprise to wipe the floor with Khan!
You're right! Apples are powerful, powerful fruit!
s14.postimg.org/m10z6zyvl/st_twok_kirkapple.png
7407426 Young Kirk in the Star Trek reboot, love it or hate it, pulls off the Apathy Apple pretty well in the Kobyashi Maru test, too.
Kirk was honestly the biggest driving force between Cadance's rant. Star Trek II being one of my favourite films, after all
Bitchs love apples.
7407432
Is it just me, or is anyone else slightly disappointed "Apathy Apple" leads to YouTube rather than TvTropes?
7407272 its based on a similar pic of them as the hangover group
The director said "Eat this apple, it'll make you look like an asshole!"
One more thing;
Celestia inspired racism and crusades while Luna inspired a cult bent on overthrowing the government...
and Cadence inspired cool, badass names while Twilight got credit for a speech.
Candy, Twi, reflect on that when you get home
Honestly, Swirling Tsunami sounds like an AWESOME pony name.
Honestly Swirling Tsunami is a great name. I'm more worried about Famine of Sixty-three, Red Boil Plague and Damn it broke.
You know, I've learned much from this story. I've learned lots of things that I can use when I become an evil overlord. In fact, the first time someone comes into my Power Tower asking for something I'm going to eat an apple.
.
.
.
.
.
Imma be the best overlord.
She's really not, not paying someone attention is the best way to show disinterest. Eating an apple is a perfect way of doing so.
7407669
7407432
I looked, and there is a related trope. Care to guess what the page image is?
We've come up with three apple-specific examples already, though. Maybe "Apathy Apple" should be a sub-trope.
That was fast.
7407854
See also: "Evil Overlord List" and its expansions.
7408042
"Appetite For Apathy" is an alternative title for that trope.
The Snack is More Interesting is the trope you are looking for.
So THAT'S why I like apples so much. I guess the subconciousness is a powerful weapon. Let the apathy flow forth like a flood!
Hmm, does this mean the Apple clan is comprised solely of apathetic douchebagels?
Have your enemy watch confusedly as you force your teeth excruciatingly slowly into an apple.
Cadance said 'Here, eat an apple. It'll make you look like even more of an asshole.'
Cue the deluge of Cadance-Eating-Apples fanart...
It's not just about eating an apple though. You have to maintain eye contact, as if daring them to continue talking. "No, please. I'd love to see you try to be more important than this incredible Gala apple. Because tou're failing so far."
7411366
"Plagiarism is not magic." - Twilight Sparkle
Oh my god I can't stop laughing!!
7417689 It's one-way only.
YES