Deadpool held tight to Chrysalis as he hung from the ceiling by the loop of his intestines, his rant finished-
"What? You skipped my rant? But I had some good-"
-his rant finished as he looked down at-
"No, I'm not letting it go this time-"
Pecking order.
"Meep!"
"Oh hey, you guys are back!" Deadpool said happily, distracted by shiny thoughts. "Wow, I'm ADD."
Down below, a soldier loaded a skeleton into a cart. "Alright, the cart is ready!" the soldier called to another. "Pull that lever to open the gate!"
The other soldier called back, "Okay! I'm pulling this lever right here to open the gate!"
"Which lever?"
"This lever!" The soldier pointed to the lever he'd just pulled.
"That's fine work with that-"
Both soldiers' heads exploded from blasts of plasma.
"That is not good tutorial," Chrysalis grumbled.
"Hey!" another soldier came over to the cart. "This guy's head just exploded!"
"This guy's, too!" another soldier called, approaching the lever. "Do you think they got shot?"
"Nah, this is a tutorial cutscene!" the first called back. "They must have eaten pop rocks with soda or something."
"Or maybe it was a cat!" the second called back.
"That doesn't even make sense!" the first proclaimed.
"We're in a Deadpool game remake involving ponies with an elder god dictating what does and doesn't get funded!"
The first scratched his chin. "Yeah, probably a cat or something. Oh look, legs!"
Groaning, Deadpool started to climb up his own entrails, only for Chrysalis to incinerate the bit of masonry his guts were caught on, causing him to land on the soldier who had thrown his legs into the cart, the soldier's head fitting perfectly into the hole where Deadpool's waist used to be.
"Dude!" Crazy pointed out. "We have another dude inside us! Again!"
"Think it'll be more fun this time around?" Deadpool asked.
"Well, it's a different dude this time."
"Mm-Hmm-mph!" the soldier attempted to shout angrily, pulling out a gun in each hand and firing randomly.
"What is that?" a nearby soldier called out in fear.
"It's a four armed, gun-toting zombie puppeted by a pony!" another shouted back.
"Puppeted?" Deadpool asked in confusion. Glancing up, he saw Chrysalis hovering over him, horn glowing as she manipulated the soldier he was riding so the gunfire was less random. "Sweet!" He pulled out his own guns.
"Kill it!" the first soldier called out. "Kill it!"
After a long time of blasting the soldiers, enough explosives were flung Deadpool's way to incinerate the soldier he was riding, knocking his torso in with his legs. Chrysalis quickly curled up beside him, ducking for cover.
"Did we get 'em?" one of the soldiers asked.
"I don't see them, so we must have!" a second called out.
Cheers echoed, and the soldiers went about their business.
On another plane of existence, Deadpool came to wearing his mask. He found himself sitting in a very domestic setting, in an easy chair with newspaper in hand. Crazy and Stuffy were also nearby, represented by versions of him with a sombrero and a suit, respectively. Chrysalis sat nearby in an adorable green sundress. Cray-Chry was in an adorable jester costume complete with bells, and Stuffalis was wearing an adorable school girl uniform with sweater vest and glasses. Another Chrysalis Deadpool didn't recognize sat nearby. This one was fully adult, was cuddling the Fluffle Puff plushie (that's what Chrysalis had named his failed attempt at making a Pinkie Pie plushie), and wearing a royal green and gold silk kimono and a black crown topped with tiny pink hearts.
Lady Death walked out of the kitchen, wearing a too small black apron instead of her usual all covering robes, carrying a tray of sweets, and being humped from behind by Deadpool's legs, not that she seemed to mind.
"Oh boy!" Deadpool said happily. "MILF and cookies, my favorite!"
Lady Death chuckled. "Do you really want to talk like that in front of Chrysalis?" she asked.
"Can I have some MILF, too?" Chrysalis pleaded.
Deadpool let out a belly laugh. "Yup!"
Lady Death chuckled as she pushed Deadpool's legs into a sitting position and sat on his lap. "While you're enjoying yourself, I'm sure you remember what happens next?" Pulling his torso close, she fed him a delicious cookie.
"Mm-hmm!" Deadpool replied around the cookie. "Clone-Face is digging up mutant corpses to make clones, and that's bad for the life-death balance, so we gotta stop him. Right?"
"You do remember," Lady Death purred, pulling his torso closer and pressing up against him. "And now...there's just one more thing..."
"Yes, my bony bride?"
She pushed his two halves into each other. "Pull yourself together." She then turned to Chrysalis. "Time to wake up, sweetie pie." She gave Chrysalis a light kiss on the cheek.
"You even get sugar from Death when I can't!" Deadpool complained as he sat up whole in the cart. "That just ain't fair."
Grinning, Chrysalis pressed her cheek to Deadpool's lips, and he felt Death's lips against his own.
"Get more?" Crazy requested as Deadpool was left completely stupefied.
An explosive caused the cart to roll down the tracks, only to bounce off the still closed gate. Once it pulled back, Deadpool and Chrysalis leapt out and began to carve their way through the enemies.
After a bit of fun with the keg machine, Deadpool and Chrysalis hopped back into the mine cart. Chrysalis pulled the lever to open the gate with her magic, and an exploding keg sent the cart rolling down the tracks. The ride included Indiana Jones music, rail shooting, and skeletons with outrageous French accents.
"I'd have thought they'd include something different this time around..." Stuffy pointed out.
A massive dragon lowered down, climbing down the tunnel after them. "’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves..." it began to recite in an even more outrageous British accent.
"Different enough for you?" Crazy demanded.
Chrysalis squealed in delight. "I want one!"
How big of a fan of Dragon Ball Z Abridged are you?
6278856
It's just too quotable.
Dambit! I can never be first on here!
Nice try at Jabberwocky, but not quite.
’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
That works.
Since when are random guards 4th wall aware?
He's got a point.
Not sure if I should or
I got nothing. You overloaded my insanity meter.
6278886 Can't argue with that
Another enjoyable chapter. Great job.
Damn I got nothing to say. Except wow
Excellent chapter
6278886 That's fair.
... Chrysalis with a pet jabberwocky... Not only is that simply not fair to any one who tries to fight her, but DP doesn't get one too! I mean, sure, the only thing you can discipline them with is a vorpal blade, but still! It's the principle of the thing!
Is Crazy ONLY wearing a sombrero?
[youtube=www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zw6YxwOcg_A]
6278886 They are hilarious, and we will quote everything they say.
Pecking order.
i.ytimg.com/vi/dOOYHQCEuXs/hqdefault.jpg
"Meep!"
Well, the Death scene was pushing for another rating, that's for sure.
And no one is going to question the adult Chrysilis?
...
Nobody?
Alright then.
Lots of references, I suddenly want a Alice from the game Madness Returns to pop up with Chesire because of the Jabberwocky, and the tutorial just got owned.
... Insanity, thy name is Deadpool.
6279443
The adult Chrysalis was Queen.
6279476
Well of course we all know that! I meant why the Deadpool's and Chrysalis's didn't question it.
6279478
Because she's cuddling the plushy. Duh.
6279486
... I swear, at this point, the only way I'm going to be surprised is if they break the fourth wall through to the comment box.
I mean seriously, that's the ONLY line you didn't cross.
at making a PInkie Pie plushie
1. Extra capitalisation.
6278954
The answer is yes.
I call shamelessly inserting a oc to kill the dragon by bbqing it and offering it to Deadpool and chrysalis
The insanity of this...I always get a laugh from it. I also get a laugh from the comments.
6280091
I don't know, other commentators seem to think so, and where else would you hear about a British talking dragon?
6280151
Dragonheart.
Doesn't Sean Connery have a British accent?
6280174
Hehehehe, still, what would be more appropriate for Deadpool? A lone dragon and his human buddy, or a dragon that has connections to a hot Alice Liddel from the crazy Madness Return games?
Jabberwocky, it fits Deadpool so much better.
6280187
True.
But you're assuming it'll be Deadpool's dragon.
6280174 no! His accent is Scottish, not British
PS. Great story by the way! The chapters get better and better each time
6280498
Can Deadpool or Chrysalis tell the difference?
6279493 NO YOU FOOL! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
6279493
...yet...
Dun dun DUN!!!!!
6280577
GODDAMMIT PAST JOKER! WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?!
6280238
Chrysalis is getting more and more Deadpool by the second, when she grows into an adult she'll be getting ALL the ladies, I swear on it!
Totally legit reason for a person's head popping like a balloon.
Don't use a Vorpal Sword, SUMMON LOGAN TO DO THE SNICKER SNACK!!!!!
You and me both Chryssie, you and me both!
Nice chapter, though I would have liked to see more of Chryssie interacting with Rogue and Death.
6280174 Yeah, he does.... But I'm going with the Jabberwocky.
6280238 Chryssie already called dibs. Besides, would we really trust Deadpool to be a good dragon owner??? Nope. Chryssie on the other hand I trust completely to have it kidnap the various Princesses from Disney Land to have a tea party with her.
Hnng!
6279833
All righty then, it is.
An british dragon?! thats next on the list i never thought i would see
6280577
You know now what you must do. Write the next chapter and do the last 20% of it as the first comment on that chapter. Much how Deadpool criticizes his looks further on down the page from where you're currently reading.
This is so ridiculous, I love it! XD
Heeheehee, awesome job man, awesome job! XD
MILF and cookies...
Okay 8D
Would have been a bit funnier if you had the dragon speak in dragon tongue from skyrim.
6280542 well, not Deadpool. Probably. Now they know though! (They read the comments right? )
6278603 i know it just always seem a bit OOC for Wade to turn heel like he did in the comic for me
6280577 6279443 6278954 6278966 6280675
Its seems that from the previous chapters Chrysalis also appears to have her version of the Red Box that is call The Queen. For those that don't know anything about the Deadpool's Red Box here some videos of Dreadpool and Red Box.:
And now knowing that Chrysalis have her own version of Red Box it open up a lot of possibilities in the future and maybe Chrysalis might make her own Chryspool corps. And picture the Queen being the comic book version of Chrysalis from the MLP comcis here and here.
And here some more Deapool related videos.:
And after doing the video game arc you could do a remake of the Deadpool vs. the joker and Harley Quinn but replace Domino with a full-grown Queen Chrysalis as Deadpool partner?
I'm gonna assume that Bony lass was intentional, and not a butchered attempt at writing bonnie. (I admit, it had taken me a second to think about what Death looked like. Brain is slow tonight. ^^; )
plane
Ah this point my brain has fizzled out from all the insanity and I'm just asking for the ride, drooling a bit.
6283604 holy crap I've been huge Deadpool fan since the mid nineties and I never heard about any of this. I feel extremely ashamed.
Speaking of the Pecking order...How will Mister Popo affect Big Mac in his story
A damn Jabberwocky
Ah, the jibba-jabbawocky! A rare specimen indeed!