"Daddy?" Chrysalis asked curiously. "Why are we in the sewer?"
"This is the tutorial section," Deadpool explained. "This is where the player learns how to control us, what buttons to press to make us run, jump, shoot, slash, teleport...you know, all that crazy stuff."
Chrysalis tilted her head. "So...what are the buttons?"
"That depends on the console the game's playing on it and the control mapping in the case of the game being ported to PC," Deadpool explained.
"For right now, we just run around doing crazy stuff, and the programmers take care of it later," Crazy explained.
Push Square to stop breaking the four-
Chrysalis zapped the game alert with lightning before it could even finish forming.
"Good one, Chrysi!" Deadpool praised. "What fun would a game about me - or more accurately, us - be if the fourth wall stayed in one piece?"
"So this is the part where we talk to the player?" Stuffalis asked.
"Yup!" Deadpool agreed. "Yo player! Do what the text buttons say for controls!"
After both Deadpool and Chrysalis spent some time hopping around, breaking physics, and demonstrating their various weaponry - Chrysalis default weapons involved turning her forelegs into katana-like blades and a pair of machine guns she held in her magic - Chrysalis looked up at Deadpool. "Is that it, Daddy?"
"Not quite," Deadpool replied. "You've probably already noticed you aren't flying as much as normal."
"Yeah," Chrysalis pouted. "My flying got nerfed for 'game balancing', right?"
"That's right!" Deadpool agreed. "And as for your weapons-"
"I get DC points from killing things to unlock new transformations?" Chrysalis asked eagerly.
"That's right!" Deadpool praised. "You're catching on quick!"
"So what now, then?" Cray-Chry asked. "Do we get to blow stuff up?"
"In a manner of speaking," Deadpool replied. "In the game, some random goons would spawn here, but for now..."
A crate dropped from the sky. Opening it up, Deadpool quickly assembled a deflated bounce castle. "And now...we blow it up!" Taking the air pump, he rapidly inflated it.
"Bouncy!" Chrysalis cried happily, leaping into the castle and bouncing up and down.
"Bouncy!" Deadpool agreed, leaping up beside her.
"Boing."
"Boing!"
"Boing!"
"Boing."
The pair and their head passengers bounced around on the bounce castle for a time, until Deadpool eventually leapt off. "Time to go-"
"Banana!" Chrysalis shouted happily as she continued to bounce.
Deadpool scratched his chin. "So...now what?"
"I believe this is the part where we figure out how to convince her to get off the bounce castle."
"Oh! Decision Tree time!"
Triangle - Reason
Square - Scold
Cross - Bribe
"So what will we choose?" Deadpool asked sagely. "So many possibilities..."
"Considering this is part of a game, I think this is the part where we demonstrate the complete decision trees for all three options."
"Sweet! It's Deadpool's Decision Dilemma!"
First Tree: Reason
1.
"Chrysalis," Deadpool pointed out reasonably, "we need to get on with the game! Those bad guys aren't going to kill themselves!"
"Wahooney!" Chrysalis replied as she did a backflip on the bounce castle.
go to 2
2.
"Do you really want to just bounce here for the entire game?" Deadpool asked.
Chrysalis scratched her chin as she bounced, then finally nodded. "Yes!"
"Can't argue with that!"
go to 3
3.
"There's all sorts of awesome stuff ahead!" Deadpool pointed out.
"It's a video game!" Chrysalis pointed out. "It'll wait for us!"
"We don't seem to be getting through to her this way."
go to 4
4.
"I wanna do something!" Deadpool whined.
"Then come bounce with me, Daddy!" Chrysalis called back. "It's a bounce party!"
"Not enough boobies for that."
"What are boobies?" Chrysalis asked innocently.
"I'll tell you when you're-hey, wait a minute!" Deadpool glared at Chrysalis. "Death already gave you the talk!"
Chrysalis giggled as she somersaulted.
go to 5
5.
"...I got nothing," Deadpool said finally.
"So much for reason."
"Then this is the part...where we loop!"
go to 1
Second Tree: Scold
1 a, b, c
"I'm not going to scold Chrysalis for being a little kid!" Deadpool complained.
if a, go to 2a
if b, go to 2b
if c, go to 2c
2 a, b, c
"It would be hypocritical to scold her for doing something like this when we enjoy doing it so much, and that's one thing we aren't."
if a, go to 3a
if b, go to 3b
if c, go to 3c
3 a, b, c
"Yeah...how about no?"
if a, go to 4a
if b, go to 4b
if c, go to 4c
4 a, b, c
"...I just can't do it," Deadpool allowed finally.
if a, go to 5a
if b, go to 5b
if c, go to 5c
5 a, b
"So now we loop for a few times?"
"Sure seems that way," Deadpool replied. "If the player's stubborn about it.
if a, go to 1b
if b, go to 1c
5c.
Deadpool spun around to the screen, drawing his gun. "Look, if you tell me to scold her one more time, when it's plain I'm not going to, I'm gonna shoot you in the head! You got me, player?"
go to 6
6.
Third Tree: Bribe
1.
"If you get down, I'll get you ice cream!" Deadpool offered.
"Can't bounce on a full stomach!" Chrysalis countered.
go to 2
2.
"We'll give you money?"
"We have plenty, and when we run out, you'll buy us anything if we pout cutely."
"...can't argue with that..."
go to 3
3.
"We'll give you Deadpool points!"
"But we need Deadpool-Chrysalis points - DCP - to buy any upgrades!"
go to 4
4.
"We'll turn on cheat codes?" Deadpool offered desperately.
"Where's the fun in that?" Chrysalis countered back. "There's no challenge!"
go to 5
5.
"Any ideas?" Deadpool asked the voices in his head.
"I've got nothing," Stuffy replied.
"I mean, it's not like she'll tell us what we need to give her," Crazy added.
Deadpool stared at the screen for a time, and then a lightbulb appeared over his head. "Chrysi!" he called out. "What'll it take to get you off the bounce castle and going on with the game?"
"My own bouncy castle in the back yard!" she shouted back happily. "High and Bouncy enough that I can jump into it safely from the apartment window!"
"Deal!" Deadpool shouted back. "I'll bribe an engineer and threaten the landlord until you've got one!"
Chrysalis happily bounced off the bounce castle. "Then let's go, Daddy! We don't want to waste any time!"
end decision tree
Once the decision trees had been fully fleshed out, Deadpool led Chrysalis through the sewers.
"No fall damage in this game," Deadpool explained as he leapt into a pipe going straight down.
"Geronimo!" Chrysalis shouted happily.
"Look, an unsuspecting foe!" Deadpool pointed out. "Time for a stealth kill!"
"I have a better idea!" Chrysalis pointed out. Locking her eyes on him, she focused her magic. A silent beam of green lanced from her head to the mook's.
The mook rocked back for a bit, but then his eyes glowed green.
"Sue-wheat!" Crazy proclaimed. "You can puppet for stealth kills!"
"That can't be balanced."
"It actually is," Stuffalis pointed out. "In terms of the game...the stronger the enemy, the harder it is to control them like this. It doesn't work on characters with names. It gets harder to maintain control with range. And if at any time the link is broken, they automatically lock onto us and raise the alarm."
"How does control get broken?" Stuffy asked curiously.
"Taking damage while remote controlling them...failing a button input command while controlling...failing the input when first taking control...taking the mook outside control range - which can be extended in the upgrades screen. Also, they can be used to kill other enemies."
"And damage to the puppet doesn't hurt us!" Cray-Chry proclaimed.
"Awesome..." Deadpool breathed.
After a bit of platforming tutorial - which Chrysalis solved via flying, since her smaller size meant she could fly proportionately farther than Deadpool could jump - they eventually reached the top of the sewer section.
"Say Daddy?" Chrysalis asked. "This version supports multiplayer, right?"
"Right!" Deadpool agreed. "So we can teleport to each other at any time to encourage cooperative play!"
"So...could you throw me towards a ledge neither of us could normally reach, I clear the last bit of distance with my flight, and then you teleport to me?"
Deadpool stared at her for a time. "Yo programmers!" Deadpool shouted. "Get on that!" With that, he blew up the bathroom in the building above.
As they stepped out of the wreckage, Chrysalis grinned widely. "Hoo-wee! That was a one-a spicy meat-a-ball!"
Several mook guards began charging them.
Wanting his own cool line, Deadpool scooped Chrysalis up in his hands and pointed her horn at the approaching guards. "Stay back!" he proclaimed. "I've got a Changeling filly and I'm not afraid to use her!"
"Oh yes, Daddy!" Chrysalis shouted. "Use me like you mean it!"
The guards promptly ran in the other direction, most screaming in terror, and one screaming about 'child services'.
Deadpool hugged Chrysalis tightly. "I love you so much!" he proclaimed happily.
I can't even brain right now.
You sir just made my day!!!
Oh god...
....
Nope.
I thought her mother gave her the talk?
I am not doing this. Please, for the love of Queen Nightmare, make my eyes stop burning.
This has Deadpool all over it. Literally.
That last set of lines made me smile. Also, of course Chryssi gets the really fun lines, while Deadpool gets stuck with playing off her and her insanity.
As of now, Rarity's the sanest of the bunch.
6115184 Haven't read all of the others do I don't know, but of the ones that I have...eyup.
I feel sorry for the ponies when Cryssi gets back because she will be completely off her rocker. The last lines I needed a bunch of brain bleach for to scrub my mind from.
MFW I finished reading this chapter: img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130515050459/darksouls/images/6/63/You-Died.jpg
Oh my...
Well I won't be forgetting the last lines anytime soon. Unless I shock myself in the head and give myself other trauma.
Another enjoyable chapter. Great job.
"YuP!" Deadpool agreed
THe pair and their
THen this is the part
1, 2 and 3. Extra capitalisation.
It better someone insert a "Oh God No" or a "NopeNopeNope" video for those last line.
And we need a proper adult.
6115311 NONONONONONONONO DON'T YOU DARE. I SWEAR DEADPOOL IF YOU EVER JOKE LIKE THAT AGAIN I'LL TELL LADY DEATH AND THEN WE'LL SEE EXACTLY HOW INDESTRUCTIBLE YOU ARE
6115153
Hells Fire: I am not your queen or anything closer, but, got you some liquid nitrogen.
-handle you 2L of liquid nitrogen.
6115423
...
Thanks I guess.
6115420
Deadpool meant use her like a gun.
It was Chrysi who made it into an inappropriate joke.
6115430 lol i can't believe that i was the first one to get a reply from the writer, and i know, mine was just a mindless joke
6115420 You tell'em! Sure it's funny but still!
Now if Chryasilas was older and didn't see Deadpool as a father there would be no problem.
But still it's a funny line regardless.
6115473 Well that's just getting steadily creepier... though i i'm pretty sure deadpool (being the insane S.O.B he is) probably (hopefully) wouldn't think about his 'kid' that way. Good lord. What has my life come to? I'm trying to justify a fourth wall breaking psychopath... I need a vacation... And a drink.
I expect a moment like this:
*piffff* LOL HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHA!!!! THIS WAS HILAREUS!
DAMN and I thought I had psychological problems deadpool is worse. thought I like how he destroys everything wherever he goes and seems to find the most hair brained ideas that shouldn't work (and everyone tells him that) and they do (which makes the doubters look stupid) now we have chrysallis. Holy shit he is multiplying now it's better.
Can't wait to read more this one is getting exciting.!!!
6115430
Uuuuuuuuuhhh...That...didn't sound right.
You, you are one smart writer. Are you sure you haven't been on the writing staff for Deadpool? That last line would fit perfectly in the game. Sure it would be the one everyone latches onto to try to discredit it, but with the relationship established prior to the joke, it makes it funnier to those who can take a joke.
the ones who can take it hard.
Oh God.
Bounce... Bounce... Bounce...
Geeze, I wonder when you'll break the fourth wall even MORE by including comments for the the story or something like that, I mean, I do that as well, but it's a whole other thing really.
As a parent, I really, REALLY want to beat you senseless for the 'Use me Daddy' bit... But damn if I didn't laugh out of my chair when reading it... So you get the reward of not being beaten. GO YOU!
6115430 Like how Pinkie used Twilight as a crank gattler during the Changeling inva...
Oh! I found a reference!!
Daaawww!!!!
Nice job breaking the mooks' minds Chryssie!
6115430 Anyone who expected differently from her when she's handed a line like that doesn't know her very well at all.
Hooray for Chrysalis getting her own bounce house! But what she should have asked for was an industrial strength bounce house.
You need to put a disclaimer on this. WARNING! The following text may cause you to do a spit take/pee yourself from hilarity.
6117156 a crossover with Dante & Applejack? Possibly Iron man & Rainbow Dash? All on the same team maybe?
So...much...deadpool with innuendos...Me like.
6115420 He's not indestructible you probably kill him if you destroyed him on the cellular level. If you cut him into a 1000 pieces it'll take awhile for him to put himself back together. Besides he's Deadpool why should he care.
6119289 dude chill just a joke, besides an easier way would be a carbonadium sword.
I smell a Mask reference.
Execute protocol N0P3.
i.imgur.com/Gw6zf.gif
6119340 True and Deadpool owns it.
uhhhhhhhhhhhh...okay then.
just keep being a member of the corps then, Chryssi.
I'd comment on the chapter but... I don't really... yeah. I got nuthin'.
Out of curiosity, do we have any of the slightly more obscure MLP characters getting the Tatsurou special?
I'm loving the image of Vinyl in Jet Set Radio and JSRF. Vinyl Scratch mixing psycho beats while grinding around in an urban sprawl on jet-powered rollerskates?
Yes please!
Hmmm... There's also Octavia, Fleur de Lis, Fancy Pants, Blueblood...
oh! we missed Big Mac and Shining Armor!
Any ideas out there for them? Anyone?
6122095
Check my recent blog posts. One of them has as yet unwritten story ideas of this sort.
6120686
Comics aren't official canon, since many things in the show and official comics contradict each other.
I have this game. It is so awesome and funny. But I hate you for teasing something that doesn't exist. I want my own changeling queen AI companion. So you lose points for teasing a concept that doesn't exist outside the standard game. I wish there was a mod or something. Not cool dude
If only I were better at programming I would totally make this mod.
What a game this must be, hahaha! I love it, awesome job man.
Glorious.
"Oh yes, daddy! Use me like you mean it!"
http://rs1img.memecdn.com/erm-k-den_fb_3042109.jpg
6279593 my thought exactly...
6115420 Deadpool is for all purposes, immortal, he has a continuity stone that causes him to always have his healing factor