An Education
As Chrysalis woke up one morning, she was rather surprised to discover her Daddy packing a great deal into a small pair of bags. She wasn't all that surprised at the volume he was managing to fit in, an amount that would put most video game inventories to shame. After all, it was her Daddy. What did surprise her was what he was packing it with.
She sat back in consternation as she watched a massive box of crayons slip into the tiny bag, not even creating a bulge. Following that was several packs of number two pencils and ball point pens. After that was a box of unopened notepads that easily weighed 80 pounds. This was followed by what Chrysalis felt was more reasonable packing items: a taser, a can of mace, an actual mace, a cell phone, a list of phone numbers, and a T-Rex.
Into the other bag went a brown bag filled with some of her favorite non-love and non-people related snack foods, her Deadpool plushie with its face repaired after she'd eaten it off for the 3,456th time, her favorite blankie, and her handheld game console which somehow managed to be whatever console she needed to play whatever portable game she happened to want to play, somehow. He also packed all the handheld games.
"Daddy?" Chrysalis asked at last. "What are you doing?"
"Packing your school bags," he replied solemnly.
"School?" Chrysalis asked in confusion. "What's that?"
"Is it delicious?" Cray-Chry inquired.
"It most definitely is not," Stuffalis groaned. "It's a place children are sent to in order to learn things."
Chrysalis tilted her head. "So...school's in the internet?"
"Oh I wish," Deadpool replied. "At school, you have to follow rules and behave. On the plus side, you get to play with other kids."
Chrysalis blinked. "Other...kids?"
"Humans your age," Deadpool explained. Kneeling in front of her, he set the saddlebags down on her back under her wings, strapping them under her belly. They barely weighed anything, which wasn't that surprising all things considered. "I'm pretty sure I've packed anything you could possibly need for your first day of school, so I want you to have fun and make some friends, okay?"
"What possible reason could she need a T-Rex at school?" Stuffy demanded.
"Show and Tell?" Crazy offered.
"...the portable arc-generator?"
"Power outage."
"...the 300 pounds of C4?"
"Terrorist attack."
"How does 300 pounds of C4 help her if terrorists attack her school?"
"She can sell it to them for exact change, delaying their assault long enough for us to get there?"
"...and the 3000 colored plastic balls?"
"Ball emergency."
"Does she look like Pinkie Pie to you?"
"She could if she wanted to."
"Yes we can!" Cray-Chry proclaimed excitedly.
Chrysalis happily turned into a filly Pinkie Pie.
Deadpool snickered. "Change back now," he instructed. "I need to tie the bow."
Chrysalis returned to her normal form, letting Deadpool reach back and tie a blood red ribbon with a black stripe around her mane in a bow. "Aren't you precious?" he whispered, kissing her just under the base of her horn.
Chrysalis smiled happily, nuzzling him.
"What about a ball pit?"
"How would she make a ball pit at a school?"
"The stack of seasoned lumber, nails, nail gun, wood varnish, and power tools?"
"...I give up..."
"You did it again, Daddy!"
"Another victory for the crazies!"
Deadpool stood up with a smile. "Come on. I'll give you a lift."
One motorcycle and sidecar ride later, Deadpool pulled up in front of a public school. "Okay," he said softly, "I've taken care of all your registration, so you just need to make your way to your classroom. I'm given to understand that this town is rather used to...unusual events and beings, so you shouldn't cause to much of a stir. You skipped a few grades after your aptitude test, so the kids you'll be in class with will be a smidgen older than you, but that's nothing to worry about. You're looking for the class of..." He took a closer look at the paperwork. "A...Mr. Henry Teacherman. Wow, was he named by ponies or something?" He shook his head to cast that thought aside for the moment. "Anyway, just behave yourself, follow the rules, make some friends, and try not to make trouble until your second semester. I'll be here when school lets out to pick you up and take you home, but if anything goes wrong, feel free to call me.
"Your cellphone already has my cell number programmed in, as well as Uncle Fuzzy's. We'll be here in minutes if you need us. You've also got the number to dial through time to call Cable if you need him on the paper with the other emergency numbers, and if anyone hassles you I've packed plenty of deterrents and flat out weapons if those aren't enough, and-"
"Daddy!" Chrysalis interrupted. She rested her hoof on his shoulder. "I'll be fine. It's just school. They're only human." She nuzzled his chest. "I'll miss you...but if you say I have to go, I'll go, and try to enjoy it." Leaning up, she kissed him on the cheek. "What's the worst that could happen?"
"The town gets invaded by aliens that are out to repopulate their species, enslave the entire populace by trapping them under an impenetrable dome, and use their own fourth-wall-breaking powers to keep us out of the town long enough that by the time we are able to get you out, you're branded and pregnant?"
"...that sounds like something I'd come up with."
"I'm worried. Why aren't you?"
"I am. I just know that if something like that happened, Chrysi could take 'em. After all, she's got a T-Rex."
Deadpool swallowed. "Well...if you're sure..."
Chrysalis nuzzled him one last time. "It'll be okay." She then scampered off towards the school, turning back to wave. "See you this afternoon, Daddy!" she called out.
Deadpool watched her as she headed into the school. "They...they grow up so fast..." he whimpered.
"Off to school already...not looking back..." Crazy sounded unusually solemn.
"It...it means we did a good job," Stuffy said through his sniffles. "She feels safe..."
"...so...gonna spy on her throughout the day to make sure she's okay?"
"She'd never forgive us."
"I meant secretly!"
"She can sense our presence."
"...even through a satellite?"
"I wouldn't be at all surprised," Deadpool pointed out as he turned his motorcycle to leave town. "Still, we need to do...something to cheer up so we aren't moping all day."
"Check out that kid's hair!" Crazy exclaimed.
Turning, Deadpool saw a young boy walking into the school. His hair was the color of flames. Feeling mischievous, Deadpool decided to set the kid's hair on fire. The kid barely noticed.
"...you weren't kidding about this town being used to the strange stuff," Stuffy pointed out mildly.
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Are they in Racoon City? Or in Death City? Maybe Silent Hill?
Exist, too many "strange towns" but I could say if it's a strange city, it must be Silent Hill.
Oh god. Chrysalis in Porkbelly? This is going to end in disaster...
Porkbelly. When the name Mr. Henry Teacherman was mentioned. Considering the town's track record of disasters that make you question why anyone would live there, I'm going to say all of it. Also ten bucks something disastrous happens in less than a hour
... No clue. Is it an anime or comic book series I haven't read?
1.
B. all of it plus a few things even he forgot...
#. DAMMIT! just realized, Johnny Test!!!
It's definitely good to know that Deadpool's prepared for the worst. Also, that last part was hilarious.
I think she'll need all of it to at least pass her classes.
I don't get the references, but that's what I'm thinking.
Holy shit Jonny Test, Porkbelly
Man the memories and chaos of that place.
it's obviously in the johnny test town/universe.
OVER 9000!!!
The teachers name gave me all the info.
I hope this happen in the story, but with the author trying to point the obvious out to Deadpool.
1. Porkbelly.
2. Teacherman.
3. With what the Test family does and what they fight, i'd say Chrysalis will have used everything before the week is out at least once.
Johnny Test... yeah that interesting crossover in crossover
Chrysi on a trex saying "Tally ho!"
I hope you burn this place down to the ground and have Chryssy kill everyone. She shouldn't eat the kids at this school, though, because she might die of mediocrity poisoning.
That was fun, may I have another? Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
Eh, look on the bright side, any mess she causes can be solved alongside the mess those two will cause.
6082631 Its bloody porkbelly, they suffer people like deadpool every day and an invasion about once a week.. sorry, but that town is gonna live, albeit only slightly.. as they always do.
6082416 Don't be ridiculous...
It's clearly Sunset City when you throw in DBZ and an eldirtich cult
6082799 Are you sure? They mentioned a zombie apocalypse, so it could be Racoon City or Silent Hill, but also aliens... And we all know that is only Silent Hill
Aliens + Strange Things happen + Zombies
Could only be Silent Hill
It took me a bit but flame haired kid ya that's Johnny.
Johnny: Oh so close.
I think it's called New Salem and the schools monster high I relized because I relized who the flame haired kid was.
6082809 Sunset City is video games' Pinkie Pie, you don't question it
How much will she need? None. How much will she probably use anyways? All of it.
So... Johnny Test?
I was kind of thinking 'Sunset Overdrive' when 'Sunset city' was said, been a while since I played the game, or seen the show, sue me.
Still, I like the set up... I like it a lot...
6082880 No pretty sure it's the town of porkbelly and the flame-haired kid is Johnny test
The crossover has more crossovers because Deadpool
Woooooooooo- *err*
I got it at flaming hair kid.
I figured out what it was after you mentioned the kid with hair like fire, because that's when all the pieces fell together and I felt like face-palming for not realizing it sooner. And Chrysalis is gonna need everything.
6082973
I respect your opinion dear sir/madam, but I'm afraid I must go down with ship(answer).
6082416 I'm thinking monster high
Johnny Test. Weird stuff? Check. Flame haired kid? Check. Possible reasons she could need a ball pit? ehhhhh, I can see it happening.
I think everything Chryssie has in her school bags will find a use at some point. I can also totally see the T-rex being fed all the mystery meat in the cafeteria. And every school needs a ball pit, it would make it awesome!!!!!
Another enjoyable chapter Good job.
I wanted to stop there due to my distaste for Johnny Test, but I had a feeling that this will be good.
Edit:
Prove me right Author! To the next chapter!
John Test huh? As if that town didn't have enough problems to began with... still it was a good show. Can't wait to see how it plays out.
I wonder what the call/letter from the teacher says...
all of it
I didn't get it at first, but after seeing the comments... Yeah, we'd better not have to put up with seeing the characters. Here I thought nothing could ruin this masterpiece of comedy, but it seems you have found the one thing that has the potential to do so. The only way this could turn out well is if the next chapter opens with Deadpool breaking into the production studio and burning whatever medium the episodes are stored on, and then he went online and hacked the entire internet to delete every mention of it, every video with clips in it, every screenshot, all fanart, and planted viruses that rendered any DVDs or flash drives with episodes on them permanently unreadable, thus erasing all traces of that abomination ever existing. Then Chryssi telepathically erases everyone's memory of it. I'd almost rather watch G3 MLP. Almost. It's a toss-up.
So yeah, if you couldn't tell, I don't exactly like that show much.
Jonny test
My childhood was beautiful
Porkbelly and i figured it out right when you said Mr. Henry Teacherman
all of it
6083385 same i really dont like that series
The whole second half means only one thing. There is going to be mass destruction on a very humorous level in Porkbelly. I figured out the JT ref right here; "A...Mr. Henry Teacherman.
6082416 I imagine it will also tie into her going to Whispering Rock Psychic Summer Camp.
You can just picture her befriending the kid who wears a tin-foil hat to stop him accidentally exploding peoples' heads.
And I've caught up on another one of your wonderful stories, only to find out that you're behind even more recently featured fics than I'd previously suspected.
Oh God, Porkbelly!?
This can only end funny!
All of the things!
Porkbelly...are you kidding? Susan and Marry will no doubt grab Chrys just do experiments on her! DEADPOOL WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!
Uh...I wasn't?
Will Chrysalis see Porkbelly's disasters or will she have a normal school day? Stay tuned after these messages.
She will have a wonderful school day.
Are you sure? Porkbelly is a town of disasters if you didn't knew.
If something happens, I'll just story jump before it happens and get Chrysi and jump ahead.
Not a bad idea, I guess.
Aw yeah, story jumping! Let's do it, I'm bored.
Bored of what?
You.
Me? What did I do?
I don't know, I just said it cause the next chapter is still in process. And I don't want to wait for the chapter.
Well you have to, we don't what the author is writing next.
Why can we write our own fanfic? That way, we upload as soon we want to.
Hey that's not a bad idea crazy. Then we shall write our own fanfic!
Huzzah!
I'm not gonna say anything.
Neither am I.
Unless he's under a political alias, you spelled Deadpool wrong