• Member Since 24th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen Oct 9th, 2015

SureFreeD


T

As a Marine at first travels the desert with his commander, shit changes. They appear to have discovered the land of ponies, Equstria.
As it passes on Rick Anderson falls in love with a certain purple unicorn, developing emotions for eachother. As time passes, Twilight bulilds an unstable mental condition which affects her friends.

Chapters (18)
Comments ( 131 )

PAINIUS CUPCAKE IS NO HERE! WHY HE NO HERE MAN PUT HIM IN if......thats.....okay?:fluttercry:

not to bad, kinda interested in seeing how this develops

ahaha continue this

That would probably be my reaction too.
But please continue this.

Please continue this! :pinkiesmile:

I hope they don't shoot the ponies!

it seems like a good fic though i cant help but think that applejack would react diffrently to a strange metal box apearing on her farm with two strange creatures in it pointing metal sticks at her like their wepons

This could become either another serious military fic or really frickin funny, i'm hopin for the latter.:derpytongue2:

:ajbemused:AJ, why do you always get a gun pointed at your head?

well so far so good :pinkiehappy: keep up the good work AND REMEMBER KEEP *mum calls tyler* ok bye

Word of advice before I continue onto the next chapter, if they are members of the Marine Corps then they are Marines not soldiers.

Ok so I see this fic going two way, super serious or super funny. Either way it will interesting. ~Celestia's Paladin

18572 That's what I've been saying, marines, soldiers, same to me, marines are just like, everything, air water ground...

well the SEALs are more of a multi land loners that kick ass so ya lol

The story is pulling me in, and I like that. I'm interested to see what happens next.

But atleast make the soldiers a little less agressive, I know they are confused and possibly scared of what is going to happen to them, but could you atleast tone down the swearing and screaming and have a little bit of dialouge actually said instead of "JESUS CHRIST!" or "HOLY HELL!", I'm not trying to push you or anything, but I just wanna see the soldiers calm down and actually be serious about this, I guess the comedy (if there is) to appear soon or later in the story.

18587 Wow, I mean... wow, never thought anyone would like it... guess I'm good at it by heart, no wait, yeah.
Thank you, this inspired me :3

oooooooooooooooooooook?

18685 What?
Something wrong? :trixieshiftright:

The short ending, turns out I can't continue this story... :twilightsheepish:
Sorry... :pinkiesad2:

It turned out to be more of a military fic rather than a pony one....
Damn.. :twilightblush:

why can't you continue this fic? It was pretty good to me.

Yea I don't understand why

18761
As I said I can't continue it, I made it more like a military story rather than a pony one, my mind drifted left and right, and could make it up. :ajsleepy:
And I lost sense of inspiration for it, so to speak. :fluttershysad:
That's why I can't continue it, maybe I'll make another, in a few days...
:twilightsmile:

You should add something into the story which re-introduces the pony characters.

The Soldiers get knocked out and then they are rescued by [insert name of pony character here] and then they talk to [another characters name here] and find a way to get out again without the Humvee, and then a couple of [insert bad taliban/american soldiers] that have stumbled across this world and then they threaten to destroy the town, so it's up to the soldiers and [insert ponies here] to save the town before they can go home.

It's a good story, I'd like to see you keep up the good work if you choose to continue it, maybe you should watch some TV or read a Comic to get a couple of ideas for the story.

yeah make MOAR :raritycry:

19118
Sorry but my work comes from inspiration, it cannot be forced, sorry... :fluttershysad:

Sgt Foley? If he's there, so is Allen and the rest of the gang. :ajbemused:
Please don't bring CoD into this.

Terrorists don't have AC-130s.:facehoof:

21862 I don't seem anything from with it. :trixieshiftright:

21865 Yeah, I knew that, being a CoD player for over 4 years, but meh, just wanted to add something that's all. :applejackunsure:

*Correction Damn it*
I don't see anything wrong with it.
:facehoof:

See guys, it looks like I'm continuing this. :scootangel:
Probably because of Battlefield 3... :rainbowlaugh:

23184
Oh thank god....I didn't read it yet but I really want to, I was not going to if it was just going to stop being made.

Nice to see you continue it.

The only thing I would say is to make it around 1000 characters long, it gives most people a good read, I think making it short will make people complain, I'd say when you have the chance, work on the chapters and add little bits to them and even make them longer, it'll be worth it.

CON- *old man walks in front of me* -FOUND THEM CLIFFHANGERS!

T4

this is beginning to sound a little to cod, and your not making as much sense as you can, so i agree :rainbowhuh:

T4

im not gonna hide my thoughts, this turned to shit, it just stopped being interesting, you were trying a little too hard to reach a conclusion and you skipped some pretty important stuff, for example, why the hell were they back in the desert? make that sorta thing more apparent, and why did celestia just show up? for no reason? they'd have to be there for a little while before the princess would randomly appear with NO contextual background whatsoever. good try but it was an epic failure in my eyes

You have left many HUGE holes in your story. And you don't seem to care whether it's well written or not.
For example: Did those marines get out of the helicopter before talking to Scootaloo or were they still in the helicopter? And don't give me that "I write when I'm INSPIRED" crap. I know you can do better. :ajbemused:

23674 Thanks alot I aprriciate you hate! :rainbowkiss:
23698 Captain Obvious doesn't care, and neither should you. :trixieshiftleft:

"War, war never changes, since our ancestors, millions and millions of years back, discovered the killing power of rock and bone."

Really?:trixieshiftright: Gonna explain it in Fallout terms eh? :derpytongue2:

24006
"Truth is, the game was rigged from the start."
:facehoof:

I spy a big ol' fallout reference.

Good to see your continuing this, Humans in Equestria stories always tickle my fancy!:pinkiehappy:

Seriously? Fallout reference? Win. Love the story, man.

24006 Yeah I wanted to make something different from the original line :rainbowwild:
24019 *Shoots* :pinkiecrazy:
24059 Epic win! :rainbowlaugh:

You have potential, but you're writing style is sporadic.

Make new lines when a new person speaks, otherwise it gets cluttered very quickly.

24578 Thanks for the advice! :scootangel:

This is getting really good!:pinkiehappy:

One thing, You keep calling them marines, and The sarge said he was army, those terms seem to be alternating.

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