Ch. 21: To stop a god... [Retconned]
Chapter 21
To stop a god...
While the plan to flip the other lever before Discord did was an obvious solution. The idea for a more permanent solution ringed in his mind. Rather than flip the switch, why not destroy the source of the problem? That being Discord. It was a solution Kid had overlooked, simply due to the lack of violence needed in this world
However, Kid was all too fond of the powers gods and godesses had. He dealt with plenty back in his homeland. Pyth... Acobi... Jevel... They were feared, and rightfully so. To anger one would spell disaster to yourself and possibly your entire bloodline, And Caelondia help you if you somehow angered all ten of them.
Why were they feared? Easy. Because how can you retaliate against something that isn't there? Something you cannot shoot with a Slinger pistol or stab at with a Brusher pike, but can return the favor two-fold isn't something you mess with.
Discord's power was no doubt very powerful. Celestia herself was wary of him whenever he was around after all. However, unlike the gods of his land, he had a physical form. A fang repeater wouldn't have any trouble turning him into a living pincushion. Or his Cael Hammer showing him the real meaning of pain.
That realization settled in his mind and something clicked. Kid was tired of Discord's antics. It was his actions that released Discord, and by the great horns on Pyth's skull he was going to send him back to his prison. One way or another. Kid slinked back to avoid the attention of Discord as he made his way to the building where he kept his weapons. Upon shutting the door behind him, he spun on his heel to examine the selection with a practiced eye.
Discord is fast, so I'll need the rely on my quick draw. Good thing Slinger pistols fit the bill.
He pulled them off the shelf along with the holsters and attached them with a series of belts. The forge's light shone off the pistols as if he had just polished them. He noticed nearby the rigging he had made as a pony for the exact same weapons laying not far away, making him smile in remembrance for a moment.
Sorry old friend, Kid hung his Cael Hammer on a nearby rack and picked up a menacing looking red blade. He tested it against a nearby shelf not holding anything and split it cleanly... Lengthwise.
The blade was no bigger than his entire arm, yet felt like an extention of it. Allowing for rapid swings that made him look more like a living blender than anything else. He stuck it snugly between two stitched together pieces of thick leather located under the armor plate on his back.
Grabbing his bandanna, he pulled it forward over his nose and tightened it to keep it from falling. Feeling that he was prepared for the coming battle, he strode towards the front door. With a forceful kick from his boot, the door swung open with a crash; quickly earning the attention of a confused Discord.
The sun momentarily blinded him as he stepped outside. The monument was still far from being charged and was about a third done. Plenty of time to start his own chaos.
Discord simply crossed his arms and stared at the rediculous sight before him. "And just what in Equestria do you think you're-" A bullet zinged past his head, almost giving him a hole for an earring.
"Is it not obvious enough for you?" Kid growled as he holstered the pistol he had taken out, the barrel still smoking. Taking several small steps forward, he spreading his arms out as if to show his pistols. "I'm going to put you down."
Discord laughed, and it took quite some time for him to stop and understand that he wasn't joking. "Wait, you're serious aren't you? Have you forgotten what I can do to you with the simple snap of my fingers? Maybe I should turn you back into a pony? Or maybe a toad?"
A smirk snuck on Kids lips that Discord couldn't see thanks to his bandanna covering his mouth. "You can try, but is your snap as fast as my draw?" Upon saying this, Kid hovered his hand over one of the pistols on his hip.
"Oh, this is rich. I always wanted to be in a western!" He pulled a cowboy hat from behind his back and plopped it on his head. He then began mimicking Kid with his hand by his side, as if he had a pistol of his own.
If a pony didn't know any better, they would've mistaken the both of them for statues as they glared at each other from across the Bastion. The occasional flex of their fingers or clench of their jaw betrayed the illusion. The only sound came from the light wind ruffling the grass and the sliding of stone as the monument slowly rose from hiding.
The sudden twitch of Discord's hand caused Kid to respond in kind. With a firm grip on the pistol, Kid whipped out the weapon in a flash and fired off a single shot. Discord responded in kind as he fired his 'gun' and yelled "Bang!"
Smoke trailed from the pistol Kid held. After several tense seconds, Discord clutched his chest in pain. "Oh! Oh, you got me!" He spun in place for a moment before over-dramatically falling to the ground with a heavy thud.
Kid didn't buy his bluff and frowned that he wasn't taking this seriously. "Discord, stand up now or I'll fire at you while you're still down," Kid threatened, not being fooled by the obvious ruse of play dead. When no reply came, he took a single step forward. "Five seconds before I turn you into Swiss cheese!"
"Five!"
"Four!" He's really going to just lie there?
"Three! fine, have it your way." Kid took out his other pistol...
"Two!" ... took aim...
"One!"
The gunfire put thunderstorms to shame as a torrent of bullets zipped toward Discord's limp body. The rest of all eleven bullets found their mark, causing the fainting Discord to look like he was having a seizure from the amount of firepower going into him.
Quickly reloading his pistols, Kid holstered them and slowly walked up to the now surely dead Discord.
He shook his head at Discord's foolishness. Why didn't he get up? Even though he hated him, he wished he had at least stood back up to die honorably. Studying the bullet-ridden corpse, he tapped it with the tip of his boot. Without warning, the sound of tearing cloth filled the air as the 'corpse' burst open, revealing nothing more than cotton stuffing.
"Wha-" Kid felt a presence behind him and quickly rolled to the side just as Discord's talon cracked the stone where he was standing. Before he could recover, he was picked up by the neck by a lion's paw and brought up close to meet eye to eye. A peal of laughter, now tinted with a menacing tone, left Discord's throat.
Kid was beginning to wonder why Discord found everything funny.
"You actually thought I was dead! how quaint." Discord winced in pain for a moment and Kid took notice of the wound on Discords left shoulder. "Congratulations, you're the farthest anypony has ever gotten to ever hurt me." He flashed a toothy grin. "Let me return the favor."
Before Kid could object, Discord dug his talon into his shoulder, puncturing the armor and tearing into his skin. A pained shout left Kids throat as he struggled to get out of his grip.
"Give it up, Kid," Discord said with a tone that hinted boredom. He pulled him close to glare directly in the eyes. "Celestia couldn't defeat me. What makes you think you can?"
"Because," Kid began. He cringed in pain as Discord continued to dig into his shoulder and wiggled his talon. He managed to at least stare back at Discord. "You wish to harm my friends, and I'll do anything to protect them!" Kid tucked in his legs, pulled them upward, and kicked Discord straight in the jaw. He fell to the ground when Discord released his grip to hold his jaw..
Recovering quickly, Kid drew out his machete and dashed forward. With several quick slices across his torso, Discord stumbled back and disappeared in a flash. He reappeared several feet to the side, his chest now looking like he was rolling through razor blades.
"Why do you fight me?" Discord growled, holding his bleeding chest. "Why do you protect these ponies when they are nothing more than a creation from your Bastion?"
"I don't care where they came from!" Kid retorted. "They're still living beings with feelings, hopes, and dreams just like you and I. They are my friends and I would do anything to keep them the way they are. Including killing you." He whipped out a pistol with his free hand and fired without warning.
To his disappointment, Discord vanished before the bullet hit. He warily eyed his surroundings for him to reappear. "Come out coward and face your fate for terrorizing a world that can barely fight back, he yelled into the air, hoping Discord heard him. "This isn't a game where you can just play with other ponies lives!" Still no response came and he realized Discord had retreated from the battle for good.
"Damnit..." He sheathed his machete and holstered his pistol again, before pulling the bandanna off his nose to let the cool air waft across his face again. Taking it as a victory none-the-less, he strode back over the monument to find it operational. All it needed was for an outside source to activate it.
Kid began to realize how much of a threat Rucks' creation had become. Discord had turned it from a invention of creation, to one that only wished to cause disorder. He couldn't leave the Bastion alone in this state else risk Discords return, nor could he find the courage to pull the evacuation lever.
"You gonna stand there gawking at it or are you gonna pull that lever?"
Kid whirled around to find Rucks walking toward him. "You know what needs to be done, Kid. We can't let Discord activate the Bastion again." Finally standing beside him, he took a gander at the punctures and trickle of blood on his shoulder. "You gonna be alright?"
"Yeah, it just sting a little." Kid rolled his shoulder for a moment and cringed, but dealt with it. He's been through worse anyway. "I don't know if I can do this, Rucks. I cant forget about Caelondia that easily. You know that."
Rucks' eyes softened. "I know ya do, Kid, but the Bastion wont change nothing after Discord tampered with it." He shook his head sadly. "Even if we did return to Caelondia, the calamity would still come and history will just repeat itself." He placed a comforting hoof on his arm. "It's a tough pill to swallow, but ya have to accept it."
Kid wasn't sure if he was telling the truth, but why would he lie about something like that? He didn't like the thought one bit. "Very well," Kid accepted with a heavy sigh. Rucks was wiser than him and always seemed to know what's best anyway. "So long as we never forget about them. That's what matters in the end, huh?" Kid forced a feeble smile. Rucks simply returned a nod in agreement. He grabbed the lever in a firm grip, his mind shouting out several reasons as to why he shouldn't do this. That there was still some hope left, but he didn't listen. The Bastion had to be stripped of its ability to create.
"Goodbye... Caelondia."
The lever fell with an audible clunk. Nearby, a screen between both switches started flashing a bright red. Which sudden turned off as if the power had been cut. This was an obvious problem because Rucks had his brow furrowed in confusion.
"Strange... the sails should've sprouted by now..." The Bastion suddenly shook as an explosion was felt from below. The land itself began to crack and clumps of dirt fell from the island itself. Kid and Rucks did their best to keep their footing, but the disorienting shakes from below was making it difficult.
"What was that?" Kid shouted over the rumbling.
Rucks growled distastefully and cursed. "Damnation. Seems Discord had an ace up his sleeve. We may have stopped him from using the Bastion, but it seems neither can we." He looked at Kid grimly. "Wish we could say our goodbyes, but we need to get off. Now!"
"Hate to burst your bubble, but," Kid threw both of his hands toward the expanse of sky below them to point out the obvious problem. "We don't exactly have a safe way off." Upon hearing this Rucks laughed.
"Falling Malt, Kid. Bring enough for both of us and we'll jump off." He pointed a hoof toward the distillery.
"Right..." Kid said with skepticism. He had his share of falls back home, with several by his own hand after rolling off edges accidently.
Since he didn't have any ideas to counter Rucks' crazy plan, he decided it was worth a shot. He pushed through the swing doors of the distillery and frantically search through the rows of shelves for it. He frowned at all the drinks that would be left behind and noticed several bottles of his favorite drink, Stabinthe, laying on the ground. Most likely tossed from the explosion.
He finally found the bottles of Falling malt hiding away above the sink in a small glass cabinet. It was full of the stuff as if it was recently stocked. The liquid was an orange-tan inside a bronze and black bottle. Two wings sprouted in back and stood above the black circle stopper. Grabbing one for each of them, he sprinted back outside next to Rucks.
"Here, let me help you with that." Kid pulled the stopper off of Rucks' bottle and handed it to him. He gave a quick nod before taking the lengthy process of chugging both in one sitting. He cringed at the taste of gravel and pepper. It never was a favorite drink in Caelondia.
Kid joined shortly after, making a funny face as well before throwing his bottle to the side. They went towards the edge and looked down and the both of them suddenly had second thoughts. Trottingham was nothing more than a large black speck in a vast color of green, covered by the occasional white cloud.
"Elderly first?" Kid suggested.
Back in Canterlot, in the royal gardens, Celestia's right ear flicked as she sensed something direly wrong. A large surge of energy had suddenly shown itself toward the direction of Trottingham; the same direction Hammer had gone. Her dismay wasn't left unnoticed when Twilight looked at her with a worried expression.
"Princess, is everything alright?"
Instinctively, she wanted to say everything is fine, but knew Twilight and Rarity had felt the pulse as well. "No, Twilight. I fear something is very wrong. Did you feel it as well?"
Twilight bit he bottom lip in worry. "I did... Do you think it was Discord?"
Celestia shook her head. "I don't know, but it would be folly for somepony to not investigate." She looked at the other bearers in the garden who were watching their conversation with a mix of confused and fearful looks. "Will you accompany me? If Discord is responsible, it may be our chance to stop him for good. The other ponies each gave a confirming nod, so her horn began to glow with magic. With a bright flash, Celestia and the Element bearers were whisked away; teleported toward the source of the disturbance.
On one of the grassy hills outside of Trottingham, a momentary flash of light scared off several rabbits who were resting. As everypony took in where they were, Celestia surveyed the area. The first thing she noticed were the clumps of dirt that was piled everywhere. It looked as if somepony was digging, but there were no holes in sight to match the small hills of dirt.
Next were the spires of metal that were either laying on the ground or stuck in it. The strength needed to force a metal beam into the ground like that seemed impossible.
"What happened here?" Twilight asked as she slowly circled around one of the beams of metal to inspected it. Her head tilted up to looking at the tip pointed towards the sky and gasped. "Oh my gosh! Who's that falling from the sky?"
The others gasped in shock as well when they saw two shapes plummeting toward the ground. One was a earth pony while the other had the distinct shape of a human. Rainbow Dash was the first to respond. With a powerful flap of her wings, she sped toward the earth pony first.
"Tale?" Rainbow grunted as she began slowing his descent. "Why the hay are you doing falling out of the sky?"
Tale chuckled and struggled a bit with the way Rainbow was holding him. "Long story. I'll gladly tell ya when my hooves are back on the ground."
Meanwhile, Kid was still falling toward an inevitable amount of pain in the form of a rocky outcropping below him.
Oh, you have got to be kidding me!
He braced for the impact with the rocks by throwing his arms around his head and curling into a ball. After several seconds of not feeling his entire body becoming squirt extract, he peeked through his arms to find a yellow ball of magic surrounding him. Looking down, he noticed Celestia's horn aglow. He lowered his arms and sighed with relief as she began to float him down to safety
"Oh my heavens!" Rarity gasped when Kid finally reached the ground. She finally noticed the wound on his shoulder.
Kid smiled at her worry for his health and shook his head. "I'm fine, it just stings a bit when I move my arm." He then recoiled when Fluttershy almost tackled him to inspect his wound. Meanwhile, Twilight trotted up to him with a stern look on her face.
"Mind telling us what's going on, mister?"
Kid winced as Fluttershy's 'inspection' involved unneeded prodding of his arm and shoulder. Right now all he wanted was a shower, some food, and possibly some heavy drinking afterwards. The third part he wasn't too sure about due to never actually seeing alcohol in Equestria.
"Discord visited the Bastion and attempted to use it to turn Bastion into his own chatoic playground. We managed to stop him, but... We lost the Bastion in the process. Discord had tainted, causing it to backfire on us." Kid kept out several parts of the story. He just couldn't bear the thought of explaining it to them what they truly were.
"Oh..." Twilight responded when her ears folded back. "I-I m sorry to hear that."
Kid simply waved away the worried comment. "I'd save it for Rucks." He looked towards Rainbow dash just in time to see her place him rather roughly on the ground. "He built the thing after all." Twilight nodded and backed away when Celstia began speaking. Asking about the whereabouts of Discord. "Hard to say, your Highness. After wounding him several times, he simply vanished. Most likely to recover."
"I see," Celestia said. Her tone tinged with disappointment that he had escaped. "I'll arrange for this mess to be cleaned up. In the mean time, we should return to Canterlot and further Discuss what has transpired. I'm sure you both are very tired." Seeing the approving nod from Kid, she motioned for the others to gather around her. Once again, with a glow of her horn, she began to teleport everypony, and human, back to Canterlot.
Before she did, Rucks placed a hoof against Kid's leg, causing him to look down at the pony. They shared a comforting smile in knowing that they still had each other, and would need to inform Zia about what has happened. They both stared towards the speck in the sky that was the Bastion. Broken and being torn apart by Discord's chaotic energies. It wouldn't take long before it was nothing more but a pile of useless debris scattered across the hills below.
Rucks spoke up.
"Welcome home, Kid."
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manly tear man, manly tears
I didn't like how he almosts keeps dieing from falls throughout this fic. Have you even played bastion?! He falls hundreds of metres onto hard stone like 27 times.
I didn't like the ending, it felt like at part 4 of the bigger picture, you suddenly decided you didn't wanna continued and rounded it up badly. You had all this story, only to introduce discord in like last 5 minutes, felt rushed.
EDIT after changed ending: Yep, that was a hell of a lot better, still not great, but better. Honestly tho, now the ending is too happy, I hate happy endings.
EDIT 2: DONT TAKE THAT OUT OF CONTEXT!
a moment of silence for Rucks
Even though it says Zulf's theme it feels more like the Kid's theme.
Can't wait for the next story.
This ending... left me feeling kind of hollow. I'm going to try and explain why and encourage a retconned ending. And go on about a few things from earlier chapters.
First is the death of Rucks, now it's your story and you are free to kill off characters as you please, but Rucks is a character that helps keep the Kid focused, keeps him company, someone from Caledonia like him. Killing off Rucks just seems like an excuse to make the Kid feel guilty or go angsty in the sequel story. You could make it that the Distillery fell off with Rucks inside and landed in like a lake or something. Plus I find it kind of funny how Rucks doesn't really have to do much and people just seem to give him things, like Cider ^^.
Second is Zia and the Ura, now I know you said you were going to focus more on her in the sequel story, again that's fine. But maybe you could've showed her doing something like meeting Zecora or arriving at the palace (She is one of his friends from before Caledonia after all.) before you ended this story, maybe finding the baby Anklegator, Pecker, Squirt and mechanical Pyth travelling together. Also how about we start seeing more of the Ura that survived the Kid coming to Equestria. Confused and angry zebra with rapid fire crossbows, highly skilled acrobatics and spears all over Equestria.
Third is Discord's desire to use the Bastion. I mean it makes sense, his plan to get the Bastion is convoluted and crazy like a being such as Discord might fathom as being entirely logical. But I don't understand how he created Equestria if he is part of Equestria already. Did Discord from the canon universe, mess with the Bastion's cores and then create a perfectly identical universe to Equestria, or did he fuse Caledonia and Equestria somehow?
Fourth, I felt Twilight accepted Hammer's story to quickly in the early chapters. I expected maybe more scepticism and maybe some testing or a letter to Celestia around chapters 3-4. I mean she did tests for Pinkie Sense, why wouldn't she try and test him to see if he is really a regular pony? Just something to confirm his story is all.
Fifth, The Kid's arsenal was really underused, I kinda wished you showed more of Hammer Whirl using his weapons, like wielding weapons with his mouth, like the Cael Hammer, Brusher's Pike and war machete. You could also have had Hammer create a battle-saddle for his Calamity Cannon and Musket/Repeater.
Sixth, More of the Bastion music. I would have enjoyed listening to more of the music. Songs like The Pantheon (Ain't gonna catch you), Mine Windbag mine, Mancer's Dilemma etc. I liked your use of Zia's song (Build that wall) which I think was used well.
Still all my griping aside, I have enjoyed the story but hope you either retconn and change a few things or explain things in the sequel story. You could do a series of shorts to explain all this stuff, like in The Wizard and the Lonely Princess, the Harry Potter/MLP crossover has a story filled with shorts.
I missed out on tons of content I could've put into my stories, and I feel stupid for not doing so. (Fluttershy meeting the Bastion pets and hugging Squirt? Hnnnnng)
I have a lot on my plate with what I'm going to explain and include in the next story. However, I'm starting to feel that this ending is a flop. The idea was on impulse and I tried to go with a sad ending, but it might be going down a road that could go very badly further down.
In other words, I might have to retcon. I hate the idea of having to take back everything I put down, but it would be better to change the story now, then regret my choices later.
Is this agreeable? Disagree? Lunkhead?
1455792 (And yes, Rucks gets free things just for being around him. It must be his Caelonian swaggar...
)
1458550 My pet Lunkhead, Lunkhead finds this agreeable. How did you know I have a pet Lunkhead? STOP SPYING ON MEEEEE!
*Coughs awkwardly.*
Anyway yes, I would like to see a rewritten ending, this one did feel like a flop. I was suspicious before I even read it, since it came out so quickly. I dunno if maybe it was just you trying to wrap up the story and begin the exciting new story, I saw loads of ways Discord could have added insult to injury in the final fight too. Like Discord turns Hammer Whirl into a pony again, but he turns him into a Pegasus. Hammer Whirls hammer is on his back now and maybe pulls the evacuation lever and flies on instinct, escaping a furious Discord who had been infusing his power into the bastion, but is now trapped by the magical energy flow, draining him of his powers to feed the Bastion's final action.
Hammer grabs Rucks, but can't carry his hammer and his old friend. He regretfully leaves the Cael Hammer behind and flies off as the Bastion begins the evacuation procedure. Discord is destroyed alongside the Bastion, pieces of the former safe haven drift down to the ground around The Kid and Rucks *Play dramatic music*
Here goes nothing...
1461553 cael hammer... rest in peace, old buddy.
1475142 The ending has been vastly improved, like you were really into the swing of things there buddy
. Definitely a more satisfying ending, I enjoyed the Kid mentioning the nature of Caledonia's Gods. Shame you let Discord live, not a big fan of dickish Discord, but at least he lost and couldn't use the Bastion. Still you have a villain for Hammer to defeat in the next story, just don't do anything cliché like having Discord team up with Chrysalis or resurrect Nightmare Moon.
I hope you also rework some of the earlier chapters, and maybe make the ponies a bit less xenophobic of him in the earlier chapters. That never really sat well with me, I mean they're supposed to be basically normal people. And they seem to be a lot less fearful by the time Iron Will passed through, even going out in droves to see his motivation and confidence building courses.
(A few ideas you might like, that you can work into the sequel.)
You should have the Lunar and Solar Guard begin a clean up operation. The Bastion was tainted by Discord, can't have his wild magic running amok, unchecked. Maybe Luna and Celestia would have to oversee it, since his magic can have strange effects. Cue Discord's magic combined with the Bastion's original function making rifts and letting in Caledonian Wildlife and survivors.
Anyway, much better ending, hope The Kid can recover some of his arsenal, can just imagine the guards carting in his Calamity Cannon and he's like "Hey, you found my Calamity Cannon, thanks." Cue confused guards trying to keep his weapon from him and the Kid losing his patience and grabbing his Cael Hammer from one of the Carts. "It's Hammer Time."
1475365 I might have kinda-sorta-possibly went overboard with the reaction ponyvile had towards him...
My muse: YA THINK?!
Shut up, muse! I don't need to take shit from you!
Anyway, thanks for the comment and ideas. I'll consider them for the next story.
1475841 Thank you for catching those.
>Slinger's Pistols
Ick.
>War Machete
Yes.
So the Bastion was destroyed, Discord escaped, but the Kid and Rucks are both okay. I've one question:
Where did the buildings and the objects belonging to said buildings fall?
1476387 Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about them.
so thats not the "real" equestria?
1484561 Nope!
It'll be a problem later on in the next story.
1458550 A sad ending should only been done if you planned things to end that way from very early on. If you only decided in the last few chapters of writing, then the ending is worse because it feels tacked on. The ending is the most important part, it is what we remember, if it feels tacked on, the ENTIRE story will be remembered as bad. A good example is the anime Elfen Lied, that anime is incredibly famous, but in all seriousness, it was boring as shit. But it had such a brilliant ending, that was executed so masterfully, it is considered one of the best animes of all time to a huge amount of people.
I for one prefered the sad ending, you just executed it badly, this ending is worse to me, but is executed significantly better.
1475365 People have had a fic where Discord teams up with Crysalis (which I hoped I spelt correctly) and Nightmare Moon?! All of my WTFs
1547479 What? he's not dead...
This story is probably one of the best crossovers I have read on this website. The only reason I guess it is not popular is due to the fact most people ( including me ) will only read crossovers of things they know about.
Bastion is a very good game, but it did not get a lot of attention, for it has been made by a mostly unknown company.
So, for these reasons, the story itself might not get a lot of attention. However, just to let you know, you did an awesome job here.
I have to agree that this "end" seems lackluster. But you'll have plenty of time to add anything you wanted to in the (possible?) sequel.
The only thing that worries me is the time I'll have to wait to enjoy the rest of the story, but like any other stories, in the end, the waiting will always ( most probably ) be worth it. However, don't forget to not rush it off!
Cheers on your really good work, and the one to come.
I probably would have had Discord simply transport the Bastion to Equestria and use it to change it rather than creating a second Equestria with it.
It just seems a bit needlessly complicated, though I enjoyed the story.
...So that was interesting. I am hugely confused though-- Discord claims that Kid hurt him worse than anyone else had before, but that implies Discord existed before Equestria, but had Equestria created to escape the prison he shouldn't have been in because Equestria didn't exist for him to be imprisoned in. The causality just doesn't hold up.
3794842 i7.photobucket.com/albums/y256/haplo3k/Reaction%20GIFs/dotdotdot-Firefly-Mal-lossforwords.gif
Sorry, I just returned after a very long hiatus (almost a year?) so I have barely any remembrance of the story I wrote. From what I can remember, and this is quite the stretch, Discord is from the original Equestria. When Kid pulled the lever to remake Caelondia and repeat history, it actually turned Caelondia into another Equestria... I think?
Like I said... quite the stretch. I probably made it too complicated then it should've been, which this comment gladly pointed out with an alternative idea. ( 3636479 ) While I'm sure some would like me to continue content on my second story, I might switch to improving this one. I bet there are plenty of more moments that could be improved upon.
One of them being the ending chapter. I still don't like the flow of it or the fight with Discord...
Thanks for the comment. I always appreciate any input my readers have.
Just a few words. This story is well written, apart from few typos and other stylistic errors (just a few really, mostly spaces and "s). I, personally, do not like your merging of universes. Making Bastion rebuild Caelondia into Equestria because Discord messed with cores is just ... hard to swallow. But I guess it is hard to swallow just for me, because, it is not inherently wrong idea. It is simply plot device for merging ponies and calamity.
I also did not like how simply you pushed Zia aside, making her stay in Ponyville instead of getting bastion back. But I can understand how hard it can be to write too many characters.
Also, because of this story I actually bought Bastion and must say that it is really good game.
All in all, this story is not bad, but is also not good. It is also rather short, which, in this case, actually works FOR the story instead of against it.
Conclusion - well written story with interesting plot that is unfortunately result of really cheap plot device. 3/5 internets. Not bad.
Also, thanks for writing this story. I may ramble and criticize, but I did enjoy reading it quite a lot.