Ch. 15: An entertaining Intruder
Chapter 15
An entertaining Intruder
What does a pony do when they're put in a dangerous situation surrounded by hostile guards and no escape in sight? Anypony would obviously give up without a fight.
... right?
Celestia took a moment to nibble on a apple floating in front of her. Contentment filled her face in the form of a small smile as she enjoyed her breakfast. Around her were bowls filled with a variety of fruits, vegetables, and oats. Glass pitchers were filled with juices, water, and milk. All of it looked delicious, but Celestia focused on the box she grabbed with her magic. It had the familiar pony who was a teacher at the schoolhouse in Ponyville. The thought that Cheerilee had a cereal named after herself never ceased to bring a chuckle to her lips.
She tipped the box and the bowl below it was filled with small oat-flavored o's. She poured milk over it until it at least coated the cereal, but not enough so it was swimming in it. Admiring her "cooking", she placed the spoon in the bowl to enjoy the rest of her breakfast. That is, until she saw a wisp of purple smoke fly across the room toward her.
"A letter from Twilight. This early?" she mumbled. Preparing to grab the light object of parchment with her magic, she was surprised when it slipped from her grip so easily. "What is the meaning of this?" Celestia asked in a irritated tone as she found it to be anything but a letter. A tan pony with a pure white mane had appeared in front of her and landed in her bowl of Cheerilee'o's. The milk had splashed across the table, the ground, and herself.
Luna, who was enjoying her own breakfast across the long table, looked up from her own bowl. Her eyes widened in surprise upon seeing the pony as well, but quickly changed to anger. "Thou would dare interrupt us during our eating of favorite cereals?" She put down her spoon of Lunar Bits. "Guards!" Immediately, six guards each appeared through the two doorways perpendicular to the table. She then pointed a accusing hoof at Hammer. "Seize this intruder!"
Luna's yelling awoke Hammer and he took a moment to look at his surroundings. Above him was a tired, regal, and very confused unicorn, looking down at him with a mix of disdain and curiosity. Attempting to get out of the bowl, he tipped it over and spilled the contents, and himself, across the floor. Shaking off the bits of cereal and milk from himself, he turned his attention to the guards that had begun to approach him.
"Hang on now. I didn't come here on my own will. Twi-" He was interrupted by a yelling dark unicorn with wings across the table. Wait... wings? He glanced over at the white pony he thought was a unicorn and sure enough, she had wings as well. So does that make them Pegacorns? Uni... sai?
"You can make up your pitiful excuses in the dungeon, cur!" The guards continued their slow approach.
Hammer looked toward the other, which he could only guess to call pegacorn, for some form of help. Instead she had a hint of a smile on her face and glint in her eye, which confused him to no end. Is she finding this amusing? I'm about to be stuck in a cell for who knows how long! Letting a growl come from his throat, he faced the guards once more. "So the hard way it is then," Hammer muttered.
The first guard that got close to him thought he wouldn't put up a fight, that is until he headbutted him through his metal helmet. The action stunned both of them for a moment, but disappeared before the guard could retailate. Running around the stunned guard, he dodged a tackle from another pony and jumped on one standing in front of him. The action surprised the guard for a moment before his face was thrown forward as Hammer kicked off his head to sail through the air. He flew over more guards that had piled through the doorway to see what the disturbance was. They looked up dumbly as he flew over their heads and landed in the hallway, then quickly bolted down the hallway. No sooner did he touch the carpet did the guards follow in hot pursuit.
Celestia watched in silent awe as the intruding pony somehow managed to avoid more than fifteen of her trained royal guards. She was beginning to wonder if the captain of the guard had been slacking with training this month. As several servants began to clean the mess the strange pony created, she looked toward her sister who was still standing up in her chair. A part of her was happy that today wouldn't be another boring day in the castle
"Luna, please sit down. The guard will take care of him." She said in a soft calming tone to alleviate Luna's displeasure of recent events. Another bowl replaced the empty space in front of her by a servant which she nodded appreciatively.
"B-But sister! This is most worrying. How could one pony infiltrate our breakfast time so easily? We must raise security at once!"
"I would not worry about it, Sister. I think another pony is to blame for this pony's predicament." Celestia had clearly heard the pony say "Twi" before Luna cut him off. She would have to contact her student with haste before things went badly for the poor pony.
"After breakfast," she said with finality. She levitated a spoonful of delicious cereal to her mouth. "Mmm."
"Stop running or we will use force!" One of the guards chasing after Hammer yelled.
"You guards sure don't know when to give up, huh?" Hammer huffed as he burst through another set of doors. The noise alerted the guards next to them and they joined the group behind him. Don't they have something else they could be doing? He then remembered how boring this world seems to be, with barely any sort of danger ever appearing. Oh yeah. So I'm basically the entire royal guards entertainment for today. Fantastic A bolt of magic whizzed past his head and the smell of burnt hair filled his nostrils, which quickly woke him from his thoughts.
Hammer knew he wouldn't be able to keep this up forever. Especially when they finally decided to bring magic into the chase. Not to mention his lungs were starting to sting from all of this running. When he turned another corner, which at this point he had lost count, a gold-inlaid hoof pulled him aside. The door shut when he was pulled inside and the rumble of all the royal guard chasing him went past, and eventually faded.
He found himself back inside the same room he had started in, but without the dark pony who had sicced the royal guard on his flank. Instead he found himself alone next to the familier presence of the white regal pony with a hoof wrapped around his neck in a head-lock. He looked up and met his gaze with her's which had the calm sense of a patient experienced ruler. Though the way she wouldn't let him out of her grip told him something else entirely.
"I believe the both of us need to have a small chat... My little pony."
"So it is true, Hammer Whirl. Twilight Sparkle is to blame for sending you to me?" Celestia asked rhetorically. She took a moment to enjoy a sip of after-breakfast tea. They had already introduced themselves. Hammer didn't take the fact Princess Celestia was a goddess of Equestria very lightly, and that they were actually called "Alicorns". He knew the gods and goddesses of his world were spontaneous at best. He wondered if Celestia and Luna were exactly the same.
It reminded him of his god, Jevel, the god of health and atrophy. Those who prayed to him were known to have long youthful lives, or, weak and brittle ones. No one was sure what caused him to changed his mind to each person who prayed. He seemed to give his gift and curse at will. Or the god of thirst and plenty, Roathus. When his people prayed for rain, it sometimes would come, or cause a serious drought. To understand what was going through the minds of his gods and godesses would be like trying to understand Pinkie Pie.
Hammer was busy looking at the small set of china before him more than drinking its contents. "More towards her friend Pinkie Pie," he admitted. "She was meant to send her friendship report, but Pinkie frightened and threw her aim off to hit me instead. Not intentionally of course."
"I see." That mischievous smile he saw before the guard chased him reappeared on his face. It unnerved Hammer every time she did it. "And here I thought the rumors of colts falling into a mare's lap was myth." She let out a laugh when hammer to blush profusely. "Ah, I needed that laugh." She chuckled once more before resting back in her chair. "Anyway. I suppose since you're a friend of Twilight's you may stay here for now. I'll send a letter to let her know you're staying-"
Another purple wisp of smoke appeared before her, cutting their chat short. She was curious, but prepared to catch what she thought would be either another colt, or possibly Spike. When a normal letter popping into existence, she chuckled at her own silliness for thinking Twilight would be that Foalish with her magic. She unrolling it and read the letter with a light smile, which turned into a worried frown as she continued. When she finished the letter, she looked at Hammer over the parchment.
"Did you and Twilight have a argument?" She levitated the letter over to Hammer, which he grasped in his hooves.
He remembered the friendship report he had Twilight write and the uncomfortable subject about anger, which justified Celestia's worry over the subject. "No, Princess. what happened that made me write this report happened a long time ago. If you don't mind, I'd like to not talk about it." Hammer set the letter next to his tea and decided he could really use something to soothe his dry throat after the long run.
"I understand if you don't wish to talk about something like that. I've witnessed it first-hoof after all," she said sadly.
The room was filled with uncomfortable silence, only the sound of Celestia or Hammer enjoying their tea seemed to break it. The sound of a door opening brought both ponies attention toward it. Standing in the doorway was one of the many servants. Next to him was Twilight Sparkle, her mane in a frizzy mess.
"Princess!" She rushed over to Celestia's side and put her forehooves on the arm of it so she was looking straight at her with a pleading look. "Please don't throw Hammer in a dungeon. Or banish him. Or throw him in the dungeon and banish it somewhere!" She begged.
"what are you going on about my faithful student?" Celestia asked with a smile, ignoring her disheveled state. "I'm not throwing him or banishing him anywhere."
Twilight blinked at her calm question as she tried to process what was happening. "Y-you're not angry at Hammer for suddenly appearing before you?"
Celestia let out a light chortle which didn't seem to calm Twilight's frightened eyes. Letting out a sigh, she lifted Twilight up with magic and set her down in the chair large enough for both of them. "Truthfully? I was quite surprised to see this... 'male' appear in my bowl of cereal this morning, but I didn't want to do any of those things because of it. Luna on the other hoof..." She was interrupted as the door on the other side of the room burst open. Luna, along with the rest of the royal guard were behind her.
"There! Thou shalt not avoid punishment any longer!" Luna pointed with a hoof toward Hammer.
"Uh, I better get goin-" Hammer was mid-way out of his chair when the entire royal guard barreled down on him, tipping over the chair in the process. "Ack!"
Princess Celestia put a hoof to her forehead and shook her head, a smile on her face. "Sometime's Twilight, I wonder if a normal day is too much to ask of you."
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That boy gots gumption
and a new chapter
When are y'all gonna realize its not HIE if the human character is turned into a pony!
Okay seriously? I looked up the word Bastion on this site's search thing not even a full month ago! I've been looking and craving for a Bastion x MLP crossover fanfiction for like TWO MONTHS! I'm so psyched this popped up in the featured bar thingy. I'm so going to be reading this in the near future, thank you in advance for making this!
1090157 What about if he's turned into a human later in the story? C-Cause you know... n-not like that's going to happen or anything...
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw835_Applejuke.gif
Yes finally
1090742
Your last sentence was CLEARLY A LIE!
You even LEFT EVIDENCE BEHIND:
BEHOLD, THE STORY'S HUMAN TAG. That animation was clearly just a trick to cover the TRUTH.
1094117 Oh man, nothing gets by you, huh?
This went through my head while reading.
1095149 Then my job is done here...
whoateallthepies.tv/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/funny-gif-guy-jumps-out-window.gif
Finally! A Bastion fic! Celestia knows how long I've been waiting for this.
1095149 when does that song play? I don't remember it
I think I've finally realized the thing that's been bothering me about this story. I mean, I love it so far (there really aren't enough Bastion crossovers), but something was bugging me about it, only I wasn't sure what it was. Now I do know.
Kid seems out of shape in this story, and it shows almost constantly. What's worse is that it only seems to be this way because the plot demands it (which always annoys me when I see it in a story). Why is he getting exhausted after an hour of work, an hour of running, or pretty much after doing anything? This would only be a minor annoyance, but then it's almost always brought up right after that the pony he's with isn't even breaking a sweat. That has been getting on my nerves this entire story so far, because Kid should pretty much be in better shape than all of them. Even ignoring all the work he does in the game, there's still the decades he's spent doing tough work before the calamity. He should be able to push himself for a long time before getting tired, yet the story constantly seems to make it clear that he's always getting out of breath over seemingly everything.
2263177
You are right with this, I noticed it too.
I think the best explanation would be that the physical abilities of his new form are too different for him to regulate the power he uses the right way.
or in short he just needs to get used to being a pony.